Losing will and motivation

[Kitsunebi]

To all of you who have known me for too long, I am a willful and high-standard achiever with some questionable sanity. There is a problem with me now. I have trouble.

Yes, I tried spells with Sugil to get my ass working again and even some motivational videos but all of them are literally failing maybe because of being in a negative environment for too long. I still kept my job but my acads are worrying me a hell lot. I have trouble, one of my major subs took a nose dive and I'm trying to figure out what to do after I abandon ship.

I went up high for nothing, I got to these places just so I can have the future I wanted but they have become impossible, I have a cryptojew classmate who's going to pull the damn trigger on my social life at any moment after I caught wind of the rumors and lies she spread. I had to do some spells to die it all down and now I'm out of energy in a hopeless fight against my life and the agents of the enemy. I'm even losing the energy to do some of the RTRs in our schedule. I'm just stuck with doing the final RTR. I wonder if I can finally use that death thoughtform on that cryptokike and end it quickly.

I might not be able to pull through after maybe a few months and if I don't respond for too long, presume me dead. I might have attracted the enemy and agitated it so much, and I don't even know why if I ever did because all I am is just some technology student who got the best of what he can achieve.

The kike and the enemy are truly merciless, truly fucking evil pieces of shit THAT DESERVE FATES WORSE THAN DEATH. This may be the last message of a Satanist who tried to rise above his own limitations, now he might have eaten the bullet.

 

[StraitShot47]

This is where Diamonds are made. The process is not morally right or wrong, it is what it is.

As for what you're experiencing right now, yes we're all being attacked. It started a month or two before this War in pissrael kicked off.

So what we all need to do is hold the ground we have accumulated. Give up the positions you can not hold. This death spell, get rid of it you're wasting your energy!

Focus on void meditation, your aura, light yoga, and trying to do the RTRs as best you can. You can't do 9 reps? Do 6, 3 or 1.

But above all else you must have faith in yourself. These attacks WILL pass. You know why you're being attacked? For some reason the Arabs went to war...

We're hijacking the zeitgeist, and for good reason, of course we will be attacked! Wear your pain as your war decorations, then take what you've learned and your ability to survive as your pension.

 

[Pillar]

I might not be able to pull through after maybe a few months and if I don't respond for too long, presume me dead. I might have attracted the enemy and agitated it so much, and I don't even know why if I ever did because all I am is just some technology student who got the best of what he can achieve.

Some time ago, I went through a similar pattern as my "headquarters" were too much under enemy's pressure (I won't go into details here). I lost motivation, will and I was left with few energies that I used mainly for spiritual war, reducing non-essential activities. I rarely write on the forums for similar reasons, I focus most of my power against the enemy in Rituals/RTR etc.
Long story short, I packed my stuff and moved to a new place where I felt again more stable and my energies were higher due to lower "external" pressure. Also cut most ties with non-healty people around me.
It depends on your Planets if you are a person of change, so you will easily accept a change in your plans, or a person of stability so you struggle until death in a fixed position. The second point, would be a cause for prolonged suffering.
I chose to move and this improved my situation. Also, this may help in personal development a to manifest your inner spiritual progress, reflecting it in your environments.

Nevertheless, I am Pillar and I don't give up!

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

....

Not to make light of your situation, but you might be panicking a bit and assuming a terrible fate when in reality this is not likely. Some failure does not equal death, and it doesn't suit you to jump to these extremes.

Focus heavily on protection to avoid curses and other aspects of damage, like this classmate. While cursing is called for, your first focus should be on prevention, like binding, as well as shielding yourself from damage.

As for your schooling (if that is what you are referring to), you could put it on pause if you are getting overwhelmed, especially as you already have a job. Keeping up with spiritual training, school, and a job all at once is a heavy burden.

If the end goal is to get a better life, perhaps you could put time towards creating a coding project or app of some sort, which would show a potential employer your capabilities, and hopefully earn you some money. If you take time off school to do this, ideally it would give more time for you to "catch you breath" to so speak.

As for energy and perseverance, Sugil is good, but I would recommend Nauthiz and also quick forms of energy, like the Vuh/Vah/Voh meditation and/or breath of fire. It is also likely you are dealing with curses right now, so use something like the warfare-specific AOP: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=388765#p388765

Good luck!

 

[StraitShot47]

Just relax kid.

You should be using an aura of protection and aura cleaning to keep negative entities away. You have to come back to reality.

Keep in mind that you are currently not in a legal situation, you are a student, and it seems like your finances are taken care of for you....

Are you blowing this situation out of proportion? Are you really in physical danger?

 

[StraitShot47]

Also, make sure you do not start your AOP when there is a "void of course moon".

https://mooncalendar.astro-seek.com/void-of-course-moon-astrology-online-calendar

 

[Kitsunebi]

Just relax kid.

You should be using an aura of protection and aura cleaning to keep negative entities away. You have to come back to reality.

Keep in mind that you are currently not in a legal situation, you are a student, and it seems like your finances are taken care of for you....

Are you blowing this situation out of proportion? Are you really in physical danger?

It's a jewess classmate....a kike, the literal enemy, the AOC features plus her kike bloodline...

I'm face to face with the literal evil we've been hitting with our RTRs.

 

[StraitShot47]

Just relax kid.

You should be using an aura of protection and aura cleaning to keep negative entities away. You have to come back to reality.

Keep in mind that you are currently not in a legal situation, you are a student, and it seems like your finances are taken care of for you....

Are you blowing this situation out of proportion? Are you really in physical danger?

It's a jewess classmate....a kike, the literal enemy, the AOC features plus her kike bloodline...

I'm face to face with the literal evil we've been hitting with our RTRs.

Being aware of the individual is more than enough to keep you protected. And if you keep up on cleaning your aura and strengthening it, they can't do much against you.

"Death spells" should be used for someone that truly wronged YOU. Not some random kike you run into.

 

[Henu the Great]

Get rid of my death thoughtform? Then what's going to keep her away? How the hell will I have a personal defense weapon
since I can't afford to keep better guns at home to stop even worse assholes than her?

Aura of Protection. Especially when using Tiwaz-like energies. Brings stuff right back at those who oppose you.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Alright, time for me to get my stuff together. did the warfare AOP and it literally lifted the hell I'm feeling, so this was all a dumb crazy enemy attack!?!?! THE WHOOLE TIME!!!! just WTF ME.... At the same time, I want to give the kikes a hell of a beating for what they just cost me. I'm going to give those motherfucking jews one hell of an RTR rampage for the academic performance they caused me, all the damn hard work I put literally went to shit as in "my house burned down!! OH FUCK!!!".

I'm a damn apprentice in two math related subjects and got so far to acquiring some crazy programming skills. I'm real serious about getting better jobs from this one, ones that will help me make sure I can bring in some Satanic influence into our military technology to make sure reptile alien assholes pull up.

Whenever you feel strangely bad for no reason, it is usually do to some sort of dirt or curse. Sometimes it is karma, but if it is especially bad or not connected with any sort of "lessons", then it is very likely to be an enemy attack. Doing something specific for their curses, like the warfare AOP, is necessary with heavy warfare.

------------------

You can repair your job and career prospects through the use of runes at another time, too, like Fehu for opportunities, for example. However, try to avoid major damage in the first place, when possible.

 

[Kitsunebi]

I might not be able to pull through after maybe a few months and if I don't respond for too long, presume me dead. I might have attracted the enemy and agitated it so much, and I don't even know why if I ever did because all I am is just some technology student who got the best of what he can achieve.

Some time ago, I went through a similar pattern as my "headquarters" were too much under enemy's pressure (I won't go into details here). I lost motivation, will and I was left with few energies that I used mainly for spiritual war, reducing non-essential activities. I rarely write on the forums for similar reasons, I focus most of my power against the enemy in Rituals/RTR etc.
Long story short, I packed my stuff and moved to a new place where I felt again more stable and my energies were higher due to lower "external" pressure. Also cut most ties with non-healty people around me.
It depends on your Planets if you are a person of change, so you will easily accept a change in your plans, or a person of stability so you struggle until death in a fixed position. The second point, would be a cause for prolonged suffering.
I chose to move and this improved my situation. Also, this may help in personal development a to manifest your inner spiritual progress, reflecting it in your environments.

Nevertheless, I am Pillar and I don't give up!

Planet alignments in my chart make me some berserker, a kooky nerd but with a lot of enemies like with my childhood. Abused, betrayed, outcasted and dehumanized to extreme extents I had a hard time trying to be normal and no longer scared of large crowds of people which I got over. You guys are the only time I saw light in a life that never cared for me. It sucks being me to be honest, to anyone of you who talked about stuff like "sun and pluto placements", maintenance in my part used to be hell, I failed to keep myself in control a hell lot of times no matter how much I tried, I just can't help me so you know what?

I then read some posts by NakedPluto here and hell, I'm still trying to follow them like with getting myself in line with better ways of living life and, look at what the fuck just happened when I did everything to hold my ground and not give up. Hell I could get hired in some top companies sooner if I kept up the positive side of things and here I am, talking to all of you because I got myself into a stupid position thanks to a random Jewess I want dead.

I can post a picture of her if you want and tell me if she's cryptokike or not, she's insanely toxic and has kept trying to tag me for crap I didn't do ever since I caught a large popularity, tried to inflate everything wrong I do like I intended it and that I'm a douchebag, used every advantage of my attacks by the enemy where I went full retard in a group project and was group mates with me she made me look like I am out to hurt people when I am not and then tried peddling that incident non-stop even after two fucking semesters have passed. I did my best to make sure her bullshit didn't spread and I am surprised to have made it this far. Only a few people believed her overly-inflated schizo bullshit.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Planet alignments in my chart make me some berserker, a kooky nerd but with a lot of enemies like with my childhood. Abused, betrayed, outcasted and dehumanized to extreme extents I had a hard time trying to be normal and no longer scared of large crowds of people which I got over. You guys are the only time I saw light in a life that never cared for me. It sucks being me to be honest, to anyone of you who talked about stuff like "sun and pluto placements", maintenance in my part used to be hell, I failed to keep myself in control a hell lot of times no matter how much I tried, I just can't help me so you know what?

You need to address these problems through workings, both short-term and long-term.

In regards to social abuse, you should use Wunjo and use it generally to restore your happiness and social life, in the best way for you. Leave the programming broad and it will address whatever you need: friends, family, love, or other specific situations in order to best help you.

For this problem of being a "berserker", you must use some yin energies to balance this, such as Nauthiz or even Isa. This will give structure and restraint to manifestations of yourself that may otherwise be too wild for success.

So yes, there may be problems here, but jumping to a conclusion that you are unable to be helped, or help yourself, is too much. It will take time, sure, but it is only a matter of balancing yourself.

Try to look on the bright side of things: The will and drive within you are skills/gifts of themselves that exist, even if they need to be honed. This same quantity of energy can be channeled into success, rather than destruction, and this is shown by runes like Kenaz that show creation and skill coming out of the fusion of yin and yang.

The advice and guidance of others is not something you can easily implement immediately, but rather you should apply spiritual efforts to manifest these changes within yourself, especially if they are problem areas in your life that need to be addressed.

 

[AFODO]

I have 1 Jew, and another Jewess classmate. The Jew sits close to me, sometimes next to me, and we he thinks we are good friends.
I have 2 Jewess teacher.

So what can I say, life sucks. I did a pretty good AoP, now i do 2x that.

Although, let's not forget that an average Jew can't influence you much. They are week ass robots, they are nothing compared to an SS who at least have been practicing the 8 fold path constantly for even just 6-12 months.

I can see for sure that you have been a Satanist for at least 6+ years. Come oon...

 

[Kitsunebi]

I have 1 Jew, and another Jewess classmate. The Jew sits close to me, sometimes next to me, and we he thinks we are good friends.
I have 2 Jewess teacher.

So what can I say, life sucks. I did a pretty good AoP, now i do 2x that.

Although, let's not forget that an average Jew can't influence you much. They are week ass robots, they are nothing compared to an SS who at least have been practicing the 8 fold path constantly for even just 6-12 months.

I can see for sure that you have been a Satanist for at least 6+ years. Come oon...

I know. This is why I feel like a humungous shame realizing all this now. Some information leaves my mind while some stay in my head like reasons why I must be confident with myself when it is really needed. I'm still fixing this one too.

 

[ANPUMESSES999]

I'm even losing the energy to do some of the RTRs in our schedule. I'm just stuck with doing the final RTR. I wonder if I can finally use that death thoughtform on that cryptokike and end it quickly

think about all the people that will never ever do a RTR in their entire life for one reason or another... on the other hand, you still manage to do something related to that every single day, you should actually be proud of yourself! ^

ya might not be perfect, but imagine if even just 5% of the world population did a single FRTR every day... that would absolutely obliterate the enemy i guess ^

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

Who cares about another student in a college class? Don't even talk to her. Do your work then go home. I don't expect she is in all of your classes. So you are in the same room as her for maybe a couple hours per week. You never needed to say even one word to her.

It is you who chooses to put so much attention onto yourself. If you were calm, quiet, and focused on your work, nobody would ever have had any conflict with you. Talk to the few people you need to talk to if you are working together on something. Talk to the teachers. But you come in like a tsunami and force yourself to be the center of everyone's attention. If she is a jew, you should have been able to see and feel this from the first time you met her and you should have never said one word to her.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

It's ridiculous that you are so afraid of some dumb jew girl. There is nothing she can possibly do. I see jews and even kabbalistic jews almost every day. There is nothing they can do if you just go on with your life and ignore them. The only reason they would even try to curse you is if you get their attention and give them a reason to. Be anonymous, don't talk to them, and ignore them.

All the old jews are having heart attacks. They can't even use magic to keep their own hearts pumping. So what could they do to you.

 

[Kitsunebi]

Oh, and sorry I get stupid. It's something I'm still trying to adjust. That girl and everything she did before just gives me flashbacks to that time a certain highschool queen of mean got me mauled by her cronies. I'm getting a tad bit used to living with that memory in my head, which is why I can still manage a job.

Good you're always there to take a stab at me if I'm going elsewhere that's not good.

 

[Kitsunebi]

Oh, and my relations with most people now? They're far better than way before, I got more friends and more people interested in me. Back then was when I was mistaken as someone cray cray as it turns out, I was out of their league long ago. High school and senior high are so much different than colleges, there's more maturity while high school has people who are only interested in games and chasing girls at that time.

I was a very curious and avid reader of theories on dark matter and aero-space-related topics. Somehow in this college, I'm praised by most but a few just have ill feelings for me because of total bullshit about me, and maybe people just can't let go so easily when they are supposed to at their age and accept that people can screw up but they can be forgiven IF they own up to it and take responsibility of their actions.

It's sad these people unfortunately exist in college. If anything, I hope that individual gets a reality check for the defamation she did but failed to pull off.

 

[Kitsunebi]

It's ridiculous that you are so afraid of some dumb jew girl. There is nothing she can possibly do. I see jews and even kabbalistic jews almost every day. There is nothing they can do if you just go on with your life and ignore them. The only reason they would even try to curse you is if you get their attention and give them a reason to. Be anonymous, don't talk to them, and ignore them.

All the old jews are having heart attacks. They can't even use magic to keep their own hearts pumping. So what could they do to you.

Oh, and I wrote two messages about being sorry for all this. I overreacted even if I got under enemy influence. I'm literally still stupid yet smart, what the fuck is my life anymore.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

I'm happy that your relations with other people are improving. This is one of the most important skills, and it is not the easiest to learn.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Oh, and sorry I get stupid. It's something I'm still trying to adjust. That girl and everything she did before just gives me flashbacks to that time a certain highschool queen of mean got me mauled by her cronies. I'm getting a tad bit used to living with that memory in my head, which is why I can still manage a job.

Good you're always there to take a stab at me if I'm going elsewhere that's not good.

Look at your chart, because if you see negative karma that shows trauma, this causes subsequent overreactions and fears.

 

[Kitsunebi]

" post_id=470410 time=1698884646 user_id=21286]

Oh, and sorry I get stupid. It's something I'm still trying to adjust. That girl and everything she did before just gives me flashbacks to that time a certain highschool queen of mean got me mauled by her cronies. I'm getting a tad bit used to living with that memory in my head, which is why I can still manage a job.

Good you're always there to take a stab at me if I'm going elsewhere that's not good.

Look at your chart, because if you see negative karma that shows trauma, this causes subsequent overreactions and fears.

I can see this from my crazy planet placements, does this have to do with my mars being whacky? I hope I can send you my chart in private because I want to know what's literally with me.

 

[Kitsunebi]

I'm happy that your relations with other people are improving. This is one of the most important skills, and it is not the easiest to learn.

Of course, and be happy that I'm not known as an SS by anyone yet, the only demographical percentage of people just bullshitting me like the immature, carefree, short-sighted, and deadbeat people here is just 10% of the tech university I'm in.

Even a lot of people here know they're total assholes that don't even have any goals in life. Especially that crypto-kike girl who is right now, for updates, getting shamed and outcasted for all the lies about me she spread as in socially nuked to oblivion. Seems like that problem just solved itself. :lol:

We're you ever a high honors student before by the way, I was since grade 6 and it was the only thing that made me so damn happy in my entire life before I became an SS. Pluto placements happened to say that I really loved being in power so you know what? I should in return learn to take responsibility and awareness for my actions even more if I want to keep my ultimate aphrodisiac in life.

I just love to be number one.

 

[Kitsunebi]

I'm happy that your relations with other people are improving. This is one of the most important skills, and it is not the easiest to learn.

Of course, and be happy that I'm not known as an SS by anyone yet, the only demographical percentage of people just bullshitting me like the immature, carefree, short-sighted, and deadbeat people here is just 10% of the tech university I'm in.

Even a lot of people here know they're total assholes that don't even have any goals in life. Especially that crypto-kike girl who is right now, for updates, getting shamed and outcasted for all the lies about me she spread as in socially nuked to oblivion. Seems like that problem just solved itself. :lol:

We're you ever a high honors student before by the way, I was since grade 6 and it was the only thing that made me so damn happy in my entire life before I became an SS. Pluto placements happened to say that I really loved being in power so you know what? I should in return learn to take responsibility and awareness for my actions even more if I want to keep my ultimate aphrodisiac in life.

I just love to be number one.

OKAY and when I meant "HERE", I meant HERE in my country and not the FORUMS. I love you all dammit T_T

 

[HPS Lydia]

Wildfire can you email me? Address is in my signature.

 

[Kitsunebi]

Lydia" post_id=470802 time=1699084217 user_id=57]
Wildfire can you email me? Address is in my signature.

Email sent ma'am.