Do void meditation. The importance of it cannot be stressed enough.
Void meditation will calm your mind and give you back control over your emotions, thoughts and feelings, it give you back your grip.
And don't take in or accept all this pain and suffering. Build a strong aura of protection from white golden light of the sun that reflects any and all negatvie energy away from you, reflects any and all pain and suffering away from you and sends it right back to those who send it to you.
If you go out on a killing spree to spread this pain you have inside to others, even if it is to jews, this won't do you, or us or even Satan any good. He needs strong warriors who will fight for many lifetimes, if you go out and throw your life away in some criminal spree and then kill yourself it will damage your soul in ways you might never recover from and you can never be an effective warrior for Satan again.
This path isn't easy and life can be very hard in this jew controlled world, but as a Satanist there are ways you can overcome any difficulty. Don't give up hope and don't dispair, fight spiritually and learn to keep yourself safe from these negative influences by applying the knowledge Satan has given us all.
Take good care of yourself and don't give in to those feelings. Going out and spreading this pain and suffering, and then ending yourself is the weak way out, standing tall in the face of despair and suffering and breaking through it by all means, getting out on top and victorious is the Satanic way, the way of the strong. The way of the Elite.
You are a Spiritual Satanist, you follow the way of the Elite, because that is what you are meant to be.
Hail Satan!