I grew up in a Christian household. Mother and father both. At a very young age, I just knew it wasn't for me. Somehow, Father just called me to research and find people. I spoke with them for many years until I was 18 and left my home while family was away. Basically a run away. I told no one.
They came from Texas to get me in Louisiana where I was living. During a very well lived month there (I dedicated to Satan and to the coven as the fifth member), cops came and picked me up explaining that because I was "suicidal" (at age, like, 14 for that matter with small cuts on my left arm), my parents were worried that I was kid napped and brain washed. Even though while I was there, we were visited a couple of times by law enforcement to check on my well being and everything checked out fine. After all, we were practicing our freedom of religion. It was none of their business in the first place.
However, I have a level of respect for law enforcement no matter what. So, I agreed to let the officers take me to a Texas hospital. (P.S., my parents eventually found out where I was and what I was doing; that's how they found me). Trying to keep my long story some-what short!
After being in a psych hospital for a week, I agreed to go with my parents (who had visited me as well as my coven) back to LA. Back at home, the leader of the coven (and also my love at the time) had came form TX to come be with me and support me. The three members of the coven hated his decision and completely lost contact with us. After two weeks of the leader being with me, he decided he was going to move back to TN near his family who supported him of his religion unlike my family.
After a few months of speaking with the leader and explaining to him I was not ready to move in fear of my parents, the law, and the fact I wanted to try to go to school, he became disconnected from me and lost contact. I was alone.
On and off, I have tried to do things by myself (I am 21 now). Yet, it seems harder and harder. I feel like I left Father and all my feelings have just been drained. I've been going to a church sometimes to make my parents get off my ass. But I'm lost. With me wanting to move out soon and finally having a good job, I have been dropping everything I do to meditate, complete my yoga, and live the lifestyle I want still in secret.
Brothers and sisters... I hope I may still call you that. I need help. I need advice. I never can feel anything anymore, I feel so lost and depressed. I have ruined one of the best relationships with my one true god I could ever ask. And I'm scared. Anyone is welcomed to please throw in their input. Am I really lost and distant now? Is there any hope I could once again get back to the happy life I was living with Father and the gods on my side? Anyone is also welcomed to email me or reply here. The only person I have anymore is a younger girl then me who knows nothing about Satanism. It's so hard to teach her when I myself have forgotten so much and can not get answers like I use to. I love Father. I want you and him to know that. If anyone needs to ask questions, I am nearly an open book!
They came from Texas to get me in Louisiana where I was living. During a very well lived month there (I dedicated to Satan and to the coven as the fifth member), cops came and picked me up explaining that because I was "suicidal" (at age, like, 14 for that matter with small cuts on my left arm), my parents were worried that I was kid napped and brain washed. Even though while I was there, we were visited a couple of times by law enforcement to check on my well being and everything checked out fine. After all, we were practicing our freedom of religion. It was none of their business in the first place.
However, I have a level of respect for law enforcement no matter what. So, I agreed to let the officers take me to a Texas hospital. (P.S., my parents eventually found out where I was and what I was doing; that's how they found me). Trying to keep my long story some-what short!
After being in a psych hospital for a week, I agreed to go with my parents (who had visited me as well as my coven) back to LA. Back at home, the leader of the coven (and also my love at the time) had came form TX to come be with me and support me. The three members of the coven hated his decision and completely lost contact with us. After two weeks of the leader being with me, he decided he was going to move back to TN near his family who supported him of his religion unlike my family.
After a few months of speaking with the leader and explaining to him I was not ready to move in fear of my parents, the law, and the fact I wanted to try to go to school, he became disconnected from me and lost contact. I was alone.
On and off, I have tried to do things by myself (I am 21 now). Yet, it seems harder and harder. I feel like I left Father and all my feelings have just been drained. I've been going to a church sometimes to make my parents get off my ass. But I'm lost. With me wanting to move out soon and finally having a good job, I have been dropping everything I do to meditate, complete my yoga, and live the lifestyle I want still in secret.
Brothers and sisters... I hope I may still call you that. I need help. I need advice. I never can feel anything anymore, I feel so lost and depressed. I have ruined one of the best relationships with my one true god I could ever ask. And I'm scared. Anyone is welcomed to please throw in their input. Am I really lost and distant now? Is there any hope I could once again get back to the happy life I was living with Father and the gods on my side? Anyone is also welcomed to email me or reply here. The only person I have anymore is a younger girl then me who knows nothing about Satanism. It's so hard to teach her when I myself have forgotten so much and can not get answers like I use to. I love Father. I want you and him to know that. If anyone needs to ask questions, I am nearly an open book!
![Karnonnos [JG]](/data/avatars/s/21/21596.jpg?1704756304){kind=avatar}
