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Jew jokes!

Sam1

Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2006
Messages
123
So with all that's been going on in the world, i figured that the group needed a little humor to brighten our day, let the jew jokes begin!
Rule:
Must be aimed towards jews/xtians/muslims
What do you call a jew on the moon? A problem. What do you call ten jews on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all the jews on the moon? Problem solved.


Why must all jewish men be circumcised? Because jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.






Sent from my iPhone
 
How do you get 100 jews in one car? Throw in a quarter!How do you get them back out again? tell them Hitler is driving!
Why did the jews wander the desert for 40 years? Someone dropped a quarter.
What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!
Why do jews have such big noses? The air is free!
A catholic priest and a jew are walking down the street and they see a little boy. The priest says "let's screw him!"
The jew says "out of what?"





On Monday, November 30, 2015 7:30 PM, "Sam sam.hinkley17@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] wrote:


  So with all that's been going on in the world, i figured that the group needed a little humor to brighten our day, let the jew jokes begin!
Rule:
Must be aimed towards jews/xtians/muslims
What do you call a jew on the moon? A problem. What do you call ten jews on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all the jews on the moon? Problem solved.

Why must all jewish men be circumcised? Because jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.

Sent from my iPhone


 
did you hear about the jewish child molester he hid in the bushes and said "hey little boy want to buy some candy?"



On Monday, November 30, 2015 7:50 PM, "fake name angryshaman666@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] wrote:


  How do you get 100 jews in one car? Throw in a quarter!How do you get them back out again? tell them Hitler is driving!
Why did the jews wander the desert for 40 years? Someone dropped a quarter.
What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!
Why do jews have such big noses? The air is free!
A catholic priest and a jew are walking down the street and they see a little boy. The priest says "let's screw him!"
The jew says "out of what?"





On Monday, November 30, 2015 7:30 PM, "Sam sam.hinkley17@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] wrote:


  So with all that's been going on in the world, i figured that the group needed a little humor to brighten our day, let the jew jokes begin!
Rule:
Must be aimed towards jews/xtians/muslims
What do you call a jew on the moon? A problem. What do you call ten jews on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all the jews on the moon? Problem solved.

Why must all jewish men be circumcised? Because jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.

Sent from my iPhone




 
People actually get the prophecy in the torah confused, it doesn't say all the jews will rise from the grave for the messiah, it'll be because of the next black friday sale!

Jews are rumored to have a history of asthma. Nah, it's just them gasping all the time to say "that's the price!?"

It must've really holo-COST them a lot of money to keep themselves looking good, nah they just invest it.

The angel of death came knocking on the jew's door. On the door written in lamb's blood was "no freeloaders!", the angel passed their house that night.

And now for the finishing act... (drumroll)

The fiddler on the roof got the fiddle on sale!

Ba dum bumm!
 
Q.What do you call a jew made of metal?A.Jewelry

Q.What happens if a jew with an erection walks face first into a wall?A.He breaks his nose
Q.How was copper invented?A.Two jews fighting over a penny
Q.Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe?A.The canoe tips
Q.Whats the jew doing on a swing?A.Teasing the sniper

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
On Tue, 1 Dec, 2015 at 3:46, fake name angryshaman666@... [JoyofSatan666]<[email protected] wrote:   How do you get 100 jews in one car? Throw in a quarter!How do you get them back out again? tell them Hitler is driving!
Why did the jews wander the desert for 40 years? Someone dropped a quarter.
What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!
Why do jews have such big noses? The air is free!
A catholic priest and a jew are walking down the street and they see a little boy. The priest says "let's screw him!"
The jew says "out of what?"





On Monday, November 30, 2015 7:30 PM, "Sam sam.hinkley17@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] wrote:


  So with all that's been going on in the world, i figured that the group needed a little humor to brighten our day, let the jew jokes begin!
Rule:
Must be aimed towards jews/xtians/muslims
What do you call a jew on the moon? A problem. What do you call ten jews on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all the jews on the moon? Problem solved.

Why must all jewish men be circumcised? Because jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.

Sent from my iPhone
 
the pizza doesn´t scream when you put it in the oven


Em Terça-feira, 1 de Dezembro de 2015 18:28, "dalightskin@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] escreveu:


  People actually get the prophecy in the torah confused, it doesn't say all the jews will rise from the grave for the messiah, it'll be because of the next black friday sale!

Jews are rumored to have a history of asthma. Nah, it's just them gasping all the time to say "that's the price!?"

It must've really holo-COST them a lot of money to keep themselves looking good, nah they just invest it.

The angel of death came knocking on the jew's door. On the door written in lamb's blood was "no freeloaders!", the angel passed their house that night.

And now for the finishing act... (drumroll)

The fiddler on the roof got the fiddle on sale!

Ba dum bumm!

 
Haha! Nice everyone! Let's keep it going shall we? Where does a jew get married? The cash register.
I had a Jehovah's Witness at the door this morning and he said they can predict what will happen in the future.
Bullshit, he didn't even try and duck when I punched him in the face.




Sent from my iPhone
On Dec 1, 2015, at 7:47, "dalightskin@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:
  People actually get the prophecy in the torah confused, it doesn't say all the jews will rise from the grave for the messiah, it'll be because of the next black friday sale!

Jews are rumored to have a history of asthma. Nah, it's just them gasping all the time to say "that's the price!?"

It must've really holo-COST them a lot of money to keep themselves looking good, nah they just invest it.

The angel of death came knocking on the jew's door. On the door written in lamb's blood was "no freeloaders!", the angel passed their house that night.

And now for the finishing act... (drumroll)

The fiddler on the roof got the fiddle on sale!

Ba dum bumm!
 
Would you believe the Flinstones were Jewish?Yabba dabba jew
What do you call a jewish knight?Sir cumcised

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
On Tue, 1 Dec, 2015 at 21:09, Sam sam.hinkley17@... [JoyofSatan666]<[email protected] wrote:   Haha! Nice everyone! Let's keep it going shall we? Where does a jew get married? The cash register.
I had a Jehovah's Witness at the door this morning and he said they can predict what will happen in the future.
Bullshit, he didn't even try and duck when I punched him in the face.




Sent from my iPhone
On Dec 1, 2015, at 7:47, "<a rel="nofollow" shape="rect">dal[/IMG][email protected] wrote:

  People actually get the prophecy in the torah confused, it doesn't say all the jews will rise from the grave for the messiah, it'll be because of the next black friday sale!

Jews are rumored to have a history of asthma. Nah, it's just them gasping all the time to say "that's the price!?"

It must've really holo-COST them a lot of money to keep themselves looking good, nah they just invest it.

The angel of death came knocking on the jew's door. On the door written in lamb's blood was "no freeloaders!", the angel passed their house that night.

And now for the finishing act... (drumroll)

The fiddler on the roof got the fiddle on sale!

Ba dum bumm!
 
Let me tell you, all of these brought a much needed smile to my face!
--------------------------------------------
On Tue, 12/1/15, eu caseu lion666lion66688@... [JoyofSatan666] <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:


Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Jew jokes!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Tuesday, December 1, 2015, 3:30 PM


 









the pizza
doesn´t scream when you put it in the oven


Em Terça-feira, 1 de
Dezembro de 2015 18:28, "dalightskin@...
[JoyofSatan666]" <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
escreveu:



 













People actually get the prophecy in the torah
confused, it doesn't say all the jews will rise from the
grave for the messiah, it'll be because of the next
black friday sale!



Jews are rumored to have a history of asthma. Nah, it's
just them gasping all the time to say "that's the
price!?"




It must've really holo-COST them a lot of money to keep
themselves looking good, nah they just invest it.



The angel of death came knocking on the jew's door. On
the door written in lamb's blood was "no
freeloaders!", the angel passed their house that
night.



And now for the finishing act... (drumroll)



The fiddler on the roof got the fiddle on sale!



Ba dum bumm!

























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I still got some left in the tank.

Jew walks into a bar, then walks out when he realizes he needs to pay for drinks.

Whatta ya call a hairy jew with a raspy voice? Jewbaca.

Jew robs from a homeless man, enough said.

The following is an actual entry from a jew who wrote a letter to jewhova. Later he died in a house fire, this passage is all that remains: (best read in stereotype jew voice)

"Dear, God.
Oy vey! Ya know I've been trying to contact you, Mr. Boy do I have a few suggestions for you! First off, why didn't you punish those teenagers that always walk by my house? If it wasn't enough that they were gentiles, oy, with their rock music and their pants sagging all about, it's like anuddah shoah! Also could you tell me what anuddah shoah means, I've been using it but I don't always read the holy torah, forgive me. Next order of business, is it too much to ask for a little bit of money! Oy! You know how hard it is to live in this economy! Just slip a few pennies my way, eh? Please and thank you holy father, our gracious lord and saviour, and again, the money. Please."

End of passage.
 
I know this is made by a jew, but it does outline some pretty true stuff. 
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb3IMTJjzfo

Sent from my iPhone
On Dec 2, 2015, at 10:04, "Shane Butler butlershane30@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:
  Would you believe the Flinstones were Jewish?Yabba dabba jew
What do you call a jewish knight?Sir cumcised

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
  Haha! Nice everyone! Let's keep it going shall we? Where does a jew get married? The cash register.
I had a Jehovah's Witness at the door this morning and he said they can predict what will happen in the future.
Bullshit, he didn't even try and duck when I punched him in the face.




Sent from my iPhone
On Dec 1, 2015, at 7:47, "<a rel="nofollow" shape="rect">dal[/IMG][email protected] wrote:

  People actually get the prophecy in the torah confused, it doesn't say all the jews will rise from the grave for the messiah, it'll be because of the next black friday sale!

Jews are rumored to have a history of asthma. Nah, it's just them gasping all the time to say "that's the price!?"

It must've really holo-COST them a lot of money to keep themselves looking good, nah they just invest it.

The angel of death came knocking on the jew's door. On the door written in lamb's blood was "no freeloaders!", the angel passed their house that night.

And now for the finishing act... (drumroll)

The fiddler on the roof got the fiddle on sale!

Ba dum bumm!
 
What do jewish cheerleaders cheer at a football game when the coin is tossed? 
"Get that quarter back!"
====================
A jewish father talking to his son.
"Dad, can I borrow $100?""50 dollars?!""25 dollars !!!?""What on Earth do you need 10 dollars for!!?"
lol
 
What do jewish cheerleaders cheer at a football game when the coin is tossed? 
"Get that quarter back!"
====================
A jewish father talking to his son.
"Dad, can I borrow $100?""50 dollars?!""25 dollars !!!?""What on Earth do you need 10 dollars for!!?"
lol
 
I once (a long time ago) was "friends" with this Jew girl and I dropped a dime on the ground on purpose to see what would happen. She scrambled for it and it was pretty funny.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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