It's over, I can't control myself anymore.

[Spiritualist Human]

Hello, I am a young guy at the age of 15.

I was able to learn what I want, able to work on something which I have to do work on, I was able to manage time. Just 4-5 years ago and before Coronavirus.

Now, I am just over. My exams after 1 week, and I am not able to work on it. Today, I wanted to stop using that Instagram shit, I wanted to stop eating food using my phone. But it is too hard. When I am trying to eat food without surfing on instagram, I am just feeling pressured it feels too hard.

I ate my food without phone, after food I was going to study but I only wanted to look at my messages on my DM, and all over. I started scrolling down videos for hours. Everyday I want to study, I want to learn somethings, but I can't.

If I don't start working, I will get nothing after 3 years. I want to work but I can't. When I don't put my phone away and start studying, I get bored quickly and get no progression.

I want to learn programming, even I know 1 programming language because I was able to learn somethings 4 years ago. I learned that programming language 5-6 years ago.

Now, I can't learn programming language.

With all that social media shit, I have so many obsessions. I lost some of them but my current obsessions: "I control everything in my house (like lights, door, oven etc) but its very wide obsession, it takes so much time from my day.

When I'm learning something, I read it again and again to be sure I am reading correct. Example: I am a Turkish, I translate words from Turkish to English to improve my English. When I translate words on online dictionary, I read the same word again and again. Sometimes I want to live like a fool and learn nothing due to this obsession.

Another is worse for me, I have paranoid thoughts. I create so much scenarios on my mind. I sometimes think my best friend can betray me, if my dad/mom was a bad person and they can kill me in my sleep.
Example:

Today I was going to school, and my dad goes his job with bus actually but today he was going to his job with a car. I thought that can he die in a traffic accident for a moment. I told myself: "No no don't think that" but a lot of thought comes to my mind.

Paranoid + Obsessions + My Dopamine system is in terrible situation due to social media. I can't solve something. I even can't meditate, I stop meditating I start meditating I stop-start-stop-start. I did 2 weeks without stopping. And stopped meditating again. My sleep routine is so bad too. I can't be awake in the middle of the lesson. My head goes down. Just I need help, I know I have to fix it, but stopping using Instagram is too hard.

I lost all my focus. I listen the lesson but I can't understand the lesson due to lack of focus. I have to study in internet for exams because of that. But now I had no motivation or discipline to study, just I want it so much. I must study but I can't.

When I am speaking to girls or boys it doesn't matter. If he is not my friend, I am getting excited. Even if he is not my close friend, I get excited because I take him/her so serious. The girls are big problem. I want to get a girlfriend but I can't because even I am not able to greet them. Sometimes girls come to me and say "hey how are you", I answer "I am good buddy, how are you too?", she says "good". And if I am self-confident I continue talking. If I am not self-confident I feel excited and just I say "I am good how are you" and go away.

At boys, nobody likes me. I had one close friend in my school. And he went to another school. Nobody is my close friend in the school. Even my friends are in other classes. In my class, nobody likes me.
I am not doing something to anybody, I am not a bully. Even in my class there are bullies and people love them. But me, nobody. I was in the class and teacher gave us a group work, I had zero friend and I didn't do that. And I was afraid of if teacher asks me "Why didn't you do that group work?", I was afraid because I would be shy if I say I had no friend.

I had 10-15 street fights when I was in middle school, people knew me I am a dangerous person in the class. And they loved me, but I stopped doing useless street fights, and started getting afraid of it. After that, I wanted to try kickboxing. I still do kickboxing since 1,5 years. I competed in the ring once, I lost but at least I competed.

But I never bullied someone in high school, and even I am now afraid of street fight I just don't know why that happened. I was fighting at middle school without any fear, now I am afraid of fighting even as a boxer. I can't manage that fear stuff, even I lost the match due to I can't control adrenaline/fear.

A smaller guy shouted at me, I got adrenaline pumping, I told "What are you shouting at?", but I wasn't able to shout to him because I got adrenaline pumping. And I thought it wasn't enough to frighten him and I pushed him away, he did nothing he is so small. I am 5'11/181 cm, and 76 kilogram no fat body at the age of 15. He was like 45 kilograms. But a 45 kilogram guy is enough to give me adrenaline pumping.


Anyway, I am in terrible situation. I got mentally, physically, communicational, spiritual problems as you see. Please help me.
The biggest problem is social media for me...
And I have bad eating habits too, I can't stop using sugar, but fortunately never tried alcohol, drug or cigarette.

 

[GoldenxChild1]

At least you're aware of your problems. That's good.

If I could offer an overall solution, or at least helpful advice towards a solution, you need discipline and patience.

Work on one problem at a time, but if you fail, be patient with yourself and try again.

You're not helpless. You just need self control. Acknowledge your power over yourself.

 

[Ozobeus]

Hello, I am a young guy at the age of 15.

I was able to learn what I want, able to work on something which I have to do work on, I was able to manage time. Just 4-5 years ago and before Coronavirus.

Now, I am just over. My exams after 1 week, and I am not able to work on it. Today, I wanted to stop using that Instagram shit, I wanted to stop eating food using my phone. But it is too hard. When I am trying to eat food without surfing on instagram, I am just feeling pressured it feels too hard.

I ate my food without phone, after food I was going to study but I only wanted to look at my messages on my DM, and all over. I started scrolling down videos for hours. Everyday I want to study, I want to learn somethings, but I can't.

If I don't start working, I will get nothing after 3 years. I want to work but I can't. When I don't put my phone away and start studying, I get bored quickly and get no progression.

I want to learn programming, even I know 1 programming language because I was able to learn somethings 4 years ago. I learned that programming language 5-6 years ago.

Now, I can't learn programming language.

With all that social media shit, I have so many obsessions. I lost some of them but my current obsessions: "I control everything in my house (like lights, door, oven etc) but its very wide obsession, it takes so much time from my day.

When I'm learning something, I read it again and again to be sure I am reading correct. Example: I am a Turkish, I translate words from Turkish to English to improve my English. When I translate words on online dictionary, I read the same word again and again. Sometimes I want to live like a fool and learn nothing due to this obsession.

Another is worse for me, I have paranoid thoughts. I create so much scenarios on my mind. I sometimes think my best friend can betray me, if my dad/mom was a bad person and they can kill me in my sleep.
Example:

Today I was going to school, and my dad goes his job with bus actually but today he was going to his job with a car. I thought that can he die in a traffic accident for a moment. I told myself: "No no don't think that" but a lot of thought comes to my mind.

Paranoid + Obsessions + My Dopamine system is in terrible situation due to social media. I can't solve something. I even can't meditate, I stop meditating I start meditating I stop-start-stop-start. I did 2 weeks without stopping. And stopped meditating again. My sleep routine is so bad too. I can't be awake in the middle of the lesson. My head goes down. Just I need help, I know I have to fix it, but stopping using Instagram is too hard.

I lost all my focus. I listen the lesson but I can't understand the lesson due to lack of focus. I have to study in internet for exams because of that. But now I had no motivation or discipline to study, just I want it so much. I must study but I can't.

When I am speaking to girls or boys it doesn't matter. If he is not my friend, I am getting excited. Even if he is not my close friend, I get excited because I take him/her so serious. The girls are big problem. I want to get a girlfriend but I can't because even I am not able to greet them. Sometimes girls come to me and say "hey how are you", I answer "I am good buddy, how are you too?", she says "good". And if I am self-confident I continue talking. If I am not self-confident I feel excited and just I say "I am good how are you" and go away.

At boys, nobody likes me. I had one close friend in my school. And he went to another school. Nobody is my close friend in the school. Even my friends are in other classes. In my class, nobody likes me.
I am not doing something to anybody, I am not a bully. Even in my class there are bullies and people love them. But me, nobody. I was in the class and teacher gave us a group work, I had zero friend and I didn't do that. And I was afraid of if teacher asks me "Why didn't you do that group work?", I was afraid because I would be shy if I say I had no friend.

I had 10-15 street fights when I was in middle school, people knew me I am a dangerous person in the class. And they loved me, but I stopped doing useless street fights, and started getting afraid of it. After that, I wanted to try kickboxing. I still do kickboxing since 1,5 years. I competed in the ring once, I lost but at least I competed.

But I never bullied someone in high school, and even I am now afraid of street fight I just don't know why that happened. I was fighting at middle school without any fear, now I am afraid of fighting even as a boxer. I can't manage that fear stuff, even I lost the match due to I can't control adrenaline/fear.

A smaller guy shouted at me, I got adrenaline pumping, I told "What are you shouting at?", but I wasn't able to shout to him because I got adrenaline pumping. And I thought it wasn't enough to frighten him and I pushed him away, he did nothing he is so small. I am 5'11/181 cm, and 76 kilogram no fat body at the age of 15. He was like 45 kilograms. But a 45 kilogram guy is enough to give me adrenaline pumping.


Anyway, I am in terrible situation. I got mentally, physically, communicational, spiritual problems as you see. Please help me.
The biggest problem is social media for me...
And I have bad eating habits too, I can't stop using sugar, but fortunately never tried alcohol, drug or cigarette.

Being aware of your problems is the first step in development.

The second step is finding a solution, which in your case is self-discipline and autocontrol.

Use less sugary products, gradually, without causing a shock to your brain and dopamine levels. Also, when you use sugar, try to stick to the brown sugar, which is a healthier and less addictive variant of sugar.

As for the phone while eating problem, remember that your notifications, YouTube, and social media won't dissappear while you spend let's say 30 minutes or an hour with your family at the table.

You can also ask the help of God Buer, especially in December as Sagittarius is where this Demon's energy are stronger than ever.

Demons A - B