I have a question. Why do you make posts like this, including a strange username, then wonder why others are apprehensive about you?
If you are honestly trying to grow and learn on this path, then of course you are welcome, but if you act like someone who can potentially create problems, then we of course we are wary.
The reality is that we get a lot of trolls and others who genuinely ruin things for us, so we appreciate if you make an effort and we can meet you halfway.
Judging by your posts, it sounds like your mother or girlfriend took off with a black man.
Regardless, you should know the vast majority of white women are not how you are portraying them. Get off the conspiracy theorist incel platforms, and into real life. Heal yourself, this world has so much to offer, when you have a healthy and sane mindset