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I want to take a break from this for a while :(

Ignisalas

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2017
Messages
288
So, I don't know where to start with this one. I want to say that I love you guys and I hope you all find happiness in life. I cant really seem to find any myself. Its really been a strange and awesome journey on this path but ive always felt unaccepted for some reason and Its slowly eaten away at me over the years and im starting to get to a very critical point where I have to make changes to my life or die.
Believe me, I wish I could just lay down and die, but that'll only make things worse for me.
I noticed that nothing in my life has improved at all since I came to Satan and tried working for him and tried to improve my life with my own powers, but I guess that wasn't enough.
Im taking a break from the forums for a while, and all the spiritual warfare. My life isn't anywhere near close to where I want it to be and Its killing me inside and its causing a feeling of unfulfillment or something like that I guess you could say.
The years have been going by so fast and I feel like I missed out on a lot of happy things from my teenage years. Im going on 25 and im a complete wreck on almost all levels and I tried to fix most of the bad things, but I didn't have any luck at it.
Theres a very bad and deep seeded jealousy that ive developed over the years, I cant really ignore it anymore. I keep seeing some of you guys here talking about having experiences with demons and spiritual things but Ive never had any such experiences. I guess the gods really don't care about me. Maybe im a fuckin jew, who knows. I don't know where my family is from, and maybe that's why the gods never seem to want to talk with me or anything.
Im so sick of feeling to depressed and weak all the time. Im nearly homeless and I want some fuckin money. I keep doing these so called 'money spells' and trying my best at them, but I cant ever seem to get anything from them. Even my guardian demon supposedly has expertise with helping someone with money issues, but I can never seem to get any fuckin response out of any of the gods, so screw this. I guess I'll have to sit and be in a constant state of meditation from now on if I have any hope of having a happy future. For fucks sake I only own 2 pairs of pants and like 5 shirts and that's all I have. I don't have a home for myself, im just living with a family member right now.

I don't know why im talking about these things, theres no point in going on about things Nobody really cares. Its just a fuckin topic to read so everyone else can say 'Im glad im not him'
I feel really hurt. My life was a shithole of sadness the day I turned to Satanism and it still is today.
And please don't reply with all of this 'man up' bullshit because ive already tried to fix my issues by myself, but I cant. I hate life and I keep having horrible thoughts of murder and bloody images, maybe its some kind of attack, or maybe ive finally lost it.
I don't want this topic to sound so hateful and negative, but I needed to get some things out, because it helps me cope a little to know that other people actually understand what I go through.
All im saying is that Im taking a break from all of this because Its not helping my life out in the slightest bit. I cant fight for Satan when im busy fighting for a chance at life. No positive energy sent from the gods will help make me feel better because by the end of the day im still stuck in a same position and it never changes and its always been like that. I feel trapped and stuck and I don't know what to do anymore. Im in a constant hair-tearing-out panic. Sorry for all the negative and bad topics ive made in the past. I was just always in bad situations at the time and I needed people to talk to.
 
The fact you aren't doing nothing physically to improve your situation is not some magical problem emerging from another planet, it's an obvious material denial problem and you showing incapability or laziness to fix this problem.

You assumed that spiritual means would somehow replace all necessities of menial life or replace what you need to be doing but this is not the case. Also, nobody told you ever that this is the case, you just assumed it yourself. You clearly tried to use Satanism as a form of escapism and this never ends well.

Better get yourself up, get a job, and start having a life before it is too late.
 
This could be block in the soul and have you checked your astrology chart to know how it is,this may come a long way.
No body said if you join satanism your life will just improve unless you improve it yourself,the gods will only be there to help you but you also need to help yourself,there is a lot of competition for money so just doing one money spell may not be enough and not to talk of you need power to manifest what you want quicker,do you meditate,if you don't you should,clean your aura daily and empower your soul things will start to improve naturally.
The enemy can also get you down with this so you shouldnt allow your self to get beat down by them,go out and look for job and empower your self and your situation will improve.

By the way demon communication comes with opening of the astral senses so if you haven't done so no need to complain of how you can't communicate with demons,you can't speak to some one on a telephone without first activating the signal same goes with astral communication.
 
Perhaps your AoP sucks, if your life has been crap since the day you came to Satan. Enemy attacks and all that. Also, did you actually dedicate? Some people don't, which is why their lives suck, they don't have the protection that dedicating offers. I'm only mentioning this just in case. Also, are you spending quality time on cleaning your aura and chakras, 2-3 times a day?

Perhaps you are going through a long and crappy transit, have you done freeing the soul workings for problems?

Life in Spiritual Satanism is about the material and the spiritual, so make sure to take care of your material needs: job, and so on. Don't just do a money working, apply to jobs, use gold energy on your resumes to make them stand out to employers to influence them to hire you, look online how to make an awesome resume. Physical and spiritual work combined for the same goal.

Do workings to be lead to opportunities, not workings to have opportunities fall on your lap.

And above all: do not stop meditating/protecting! Stay strong in Satan, always :)
 
The God's are not genies and spiritual workings won't replace doing something in the physical world. If you are not looking for a Job you cannot expect to magically found it...while I would like to go into a Temple and meditate all day until I reach godhead as they did in the Golden Age this is not the case here...you need a job and live your life, we need to have a social life and we need to have a job to survive. Then magick will help you to have more money (like promotions at your job or a new and better job) find some good friends and a good partner but you need to put the work in the physical plane. I don't understand why you shouldn't want to fight with the Final RTR wich is something that takes 15 minutes a day...but whatever, just don't expect that because you fight the God's will fix any problems even if you don't try your best to fix them yourself.
 
To transform, you have to stop doing things that give you pleasure. Pleasure is satisfying, and the less you are satisfied, the more energy you will have to make the changes you want in your life. So if you play video games, drink alcohol, eat greasy/fatty food, etc. gradually quit doing those things one by one. Once you cut off a source of pleasure you will feel agitated and that is when void meditation is really useful. Once you have acclimated to not needing that source of pleasure anymore then you will have grown, with a higher baseline energy level. Coffee, aspirin, sleeping slightly less, eating slightly less are also things that will stimulate you and give you the energy you need to make positive changes in your life.
 
Non-Spiritual things are as important as Spiritual things - and depending on the circumstances, sometimes more important than them. I haven't had any problems with you, and I didn't make you feel unwelcome or rejected.

You do realise that we more-than-likely will not be chasing after you, don't you? That will make you sadder and sadder, I am guessing, which would feed the negativity, etc. We - which means you, as well - have to get on with our things ourselves. Again - FancyMancy is Meme - keep calm and carry on. Stopping will reduce things down, and then you'll have try, cry, and waste ti-me (I was try-ing to make it rhy-me, which worked these ti-mes - oh, and again!) getting back to this point where you are at the moment...and then continuing on after you re-reach where you are here and now. Momentum, baybee!

Depression is caused by low bioelectricity. Increasing things beyond "normal" levels, degrees, amounts causes stress and strain - stopping, coming back, then going further on increases all of that stress and strain which is not something we want; there has been more than enough of it already.

Just continue where you are, or if you're not doing much, then just start - or start again - lowly and slowly, and then build up a bit at a time from there. Don't go all-guns-blazing, because you will lose and then you'll be upset as to why, then blame this, that, and the other. You might start by making a very conscious decision that you are going to do things well, and keep a deliberate positive mindset and attitude about it. You might also masturbate - how that is not a replacement for happiness and joy, or a temporary nice feeling, and the sexual energies from it can be used to build up your AoP and clean your Aura and Soul and can be used for whatever. Sometimes it is necessary to begin again from the basics - but at least this time, you'll have an advantage, experience and knowledge of things which you didn't have the first beginning time. Woo.

Keep calm and carry on. Fake it 'til you make it. The Mind can be a bastard of a stubborn bastard, but just keep doing things properly and carefully and the Mind will relent. Then you can go and keep going - then after a time and after certain checkpoints have been reached, only you would be the one to limit you, then - but by that time, your Mind would be doing what you want, so you can keep going and going nicely.
 
Sun said:
So, I don't know where to start with this one. I want to say that I love you guys and I hope you all find happiness in life. I cant really seem to find any myself. Its really been a strange and awesome journey on this path but ive always felt unaccepted for some reason and Its slowly eaten away at me over the years and im starting to get to a very critical point where I have to make changes to my life or die.
Believe me, I wish I could just lay down and die, but that'll only make things worse for me.
I noticed that nothing in my life has improved at all since I came to Satan and tried working for him and tried to improve my life with my own powers, but I guess that wasn't enough.
Im taking a break from the forums for a while, and all the spiritual warfare. My life isn't anywhere near close to where I want it to be and Its killing me inside and its causing a feeling of unfulfillment or something like that I guess you could say.
The years have been going by so fast and I feel like I missed out on a lot of happy things from my teenage years. Im going on 25 and im a complete wreck on almost all levels and I tried to fix most of the bad things, but I didn't have any luck at it.
Theres a very bad and deep seeded jealousy that ive developed over the years, I cant really ignore it anymore. I keep seeing some of you guys here talking about having experiences with demons and spiritual things but Ive never had any such experiences. I guess the gods really don't care about me. Maybe im a fuckin jew, who knows. I don't know where my family is from, and maybe that's why the gods never seem to want to talk with me or anything.
Im so sick of feeling to depressed and weak all the time. Im nearly homeless and I want some fuckin money. I keep doing these so called 'money spells' and trying my best at them, but I cant ever seem to get anything from them. Even my guardian demon supposedly has expertise with helping someone with money issues, but I can never seem to get any fuckin response out of any of the gods, so screw this. I guess I'll have to sit and be in a constant state of meditation from now on if I have any hope of having a happy future. For fucks sake I only own 2 pairs of pants and like 5 shirts and that's all I have. I don't have a home for myself, im just living with a family member right now.

I don't know why im talking about these things, theres no point in going on about things Nobody really cares. Its just a fuckin topic to read so everyone else can say 'Im glad im not him'
I feel really hurt. My life was a shithole of sadness the day I turned to Satanism and it still is today.
And please don't reply with all of this 'man up' bullshit because ive already tried to fix my issues by myself, but I cant. I hate life and I keep having horrible thoughts of murder and bloody images, maybe its some kind of attack, or maybe ive finally lost it.
I don't want this topic to sound so hateful and negative, but I needed to get some things out, because it helps me cope a little to know that other people actually understand what I go through.
All im saying is that Im taking a break from all of this because Its not helping my life out in the slightest bit. I cant fight for Satan when im busy fighting for a chance at life. No positive energy sent from the gods will help make me feel better because by the end of the day im still stuck in a same position and it never changes and its always been like that. I feel trapped and stuck and I don't know what to do anymore. Im in a constant hair-tearing-out panic. Sorry for all the negative and bad topics ive made in the past. I was just always in bad situations at the time and I needed people to talk to.

There really isn’t anything wrong with living with a family member, as long as you help out around the house and such. Do you currently have a job? You could probably build a pretty good wardrobe for a few hundred dollars. Just get any old job, make a list of the things you need / want, and work on whittling it down over a period of a few months. If you’re not paying for rent it shouldn’t be too difficult.

Why are you comparing yourself to other members? So what if they have had experiences that you haven’t? Who cares? Perhaps you have had experiences and you just didn’t realize it?

How great do you think you’ll have it materially if the enemy achieves total victory? Better to do an RTR a day and at least help us keep them at bay.
 
My life sucks too but I feel that if I left it would be worse and not only for me.
 
TopoftheAbyss said:
My life sucks too but I feel that if I left it would be worse and not only for me.
Well we do get attacked, but also I think people set unrealistic expectations for themselves when they get on this path. Thinking it’s a quick fix like a genie. To want to leave makes no sense, life won’t get easier. And probably the attacks won’t stop, because they don’t want you to come back. It’s all mentality. People with sour attitudes won’t make it anywhere in life. I mean it’s just reality, whether you’re on this path or not shitty stuff happens. Whatever, make peace, then move on if you can’t turn into something positive.

Literally nothing can take me down because my attitude won’t let it. I’m strong like bull. And at the end of the day this is the mindset some here need to move towards. Change doesn’t happen over night. But we need goals and things moving us in the right direction.

People get melancholic when things are bad thinking it’s only happening to them and their life sucks. But it’s not true. We all go through things. Realize that and when things happen, vent it, resolve it, and move on. And ABOVE ALL make moves in life. Sitting down on your couch eating a sandwich isn’t going to get anyone a better life. Take action, use the abilities were shown on this path, stay consistent, have self belief and have winz. No one here should have an awful life. Makes no sense. We have guidance from the most advanced beings. It’s silly.

(And I’m not directing this just to you btw. But to all who get caught in the negative mindset trap)
 
Sun said:
... I only own 2 pairs of pants and like 5 shirts and that's all I have. I don't have a home for myself, im just living with a family member right now...

I know everyone here will say "stay strong", "never give up", and so on. Thas is obvious and you seem already knowing that.
Fact is, your affirmation sounds very Neptunian to me, aldo Neptune recently seems popping out more than Saturn for ptoblems on here.

I think you consciously fighted for improvement, but unconsciously you may have some programming (low self- value, Neptune/Pisces influence) that is constantly smashing down your life.
Meditating for empowering i.e. the Aura, without proper affirmations, may direct Energies toward this programming, if any.

So it's not always "your fault" as "stay strong" might seems suggesting. There could be some short-circuit in your Mind preventing your efforts from manifesting. That is not your fault.

No offence to anyone, but the "push harder" mentality may work when you are blindly looking for power in your early 20s?
What if a rooted hang up pops out from a Chakra later on and takes control unresolved?

My feeling is introspection is needed.
Costant Meditation and Workings are obviously to be done daily, you seem knowing this.
But, taking time to ask your Mind where to fix issues, and possibly self-Hypnosis to reprogram life attitude for the better, is my suggestion.
 
Sun said:
So, I don't know where to start with this one. I want to say that I love you guys and I hope you all find happiness in life. I cant really seem to find any myself. Its really been a strange and awesome journey on this path but ive always felt unaccepted for some reason and Its slowly eaten away at me over the years and im starting to get to a very critical point where I have to make changes to my life or die.
Believe me, I wish I could just lay down and die, but that'll only make things worse for me.
I noticed that nothing in my life has improved at all since I came to Satan and tried working for him and tried to improve my life with my own powers, but I guess that wasn't enough.
Im taking a break from the forums for a while, and all the spiritual warfare. My life isn't anywhere near close to where I want it to be and Its killing me inside and its causing a feeling of unfulfillment or something like that I guess you could say.
The years have been going by so fast and I feel like I missed out on a lot of happy things from my teenage years. Im going on 25 and im a complete wreck on almost all levels and I tried to fix most of the bad things, but I didn't have any luck at it.
Theres a very bad and deep seeded jealousy that ive developed over the years, I cant really ignore it anymore. I keep seeing some of you guys here talking about having experiences with demons and spiritual things but Ive never had any such experiences. I guess the gods really don't care about me. Maybe im a fuckin jew, who knows. I don't know where my family is from, and maybe that's why the gods never seem to want to talk with me or anything.
Im so sick of feeling to depressed and weak all the time. Im nearly homeless and I want some fuckin money. I keep doing these so called 'money spells' and trying my best at them, but I cant ever seem to get anything from them. Even my guardian demon supposedly has expertise with helping someone with money issues, but I can never seem to get any fuckin response out of any of the gods, so screw this. I guess I'll have to sit and be in a constant state of meditation from now on if I have any hope of having a happy future. For fucks sake I only own 2 pairs of pants and like 5 shirts and that's all I have. I don't have a home for myself, im just living with a family member right now.

I don't know why im talking about these things, theres no point in going on about things Nobody really cares. Its just a fuckin topic to read so everyone else can say 'Im glad im not him'
I feel really hurt. My life was a shithole of sadness the day I turned to Satanism and it still is today.
And please don't reply with all of this 'man up' bullshit because ive already tried to fix my issues by myself, but I cant. I hate life and I keep having horrible thoughts of murder and bloody images, maybe its some kind of attack, or maybe ive finally lost it.
I don't want this topic to sound so hateful and negative, but I needed to get some things out, because it helps me cope a little to know that other people actually understand what I go through.
All im saying is that Im taking a break from all of this because Its not helping my life out in the slightest bit. I cant fight for Satan when im busy fighting for a chance at life. No positive energy sent from the gods will help make me feel better because by the end of the day im still stuck in a same position and it never changes and its always been like that. I feel trapped and stuck and I don't know what to do anymore. Im in a constant hair-tearing-out panic. Sorry for all the negative and bad topics ive made in the past. I was just always in bad situations at the time and I needed people to talk to.


I understand. Cobra has given me advice on this as well. I thought being a Satanist meant being perfect like statue.

Sex could brings jews or diseases or christian energy. Fuck the mundanes! Everyone is an enemy. When the Gods get here, i will be perfect Aryan that never gave to any temptation.

I woke up and did void all day. 20 rituals. 5 hours of chanting. Here I am ready Lord Satan. No play, I am a soldier that works and never compromises in the slightest.

Well the Human mind can't really do that. So you end up snapping. I am realizing now, because of how much effort it takes me to do something thats like cheating.

Super strict on diet. So im like cringe, you... Can eat this piece of dark chocolate, it has stevia. Nein! Why not a glass of red wine? Sacrilege! Maybe talk to someone in public and be nice to them. Pulls knife out, dont make me cut my own throat you traitorous swine.

Then im like hmmmmm. Cobra may have a point here. Lol.

I have to fight myself to relax and have fun. Now im realizing why the mind keeps failing. Its like fuck you man im out. Get back to your post! Sticks its tongue out.

Whereas like theres pictures of Himmler with scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other. Chillin at a get together. Without a six pack...

So im trying to learn this too. Were all in it together.
 
I think I have that situation HP.Cobra mentioned a few posts before escapism and whatnot. The difference is Sun is 25 and I'm 29.

For example for a long time early in JoS back in mid-2000s(2003ish area) I was always on the assumption that meditation is like a drug to eliminate your issues. But I never knew meditation was so about being in your body. Even to this day I still feel like meditation is a burden on my life. I try and be mindful but it always leaves me going why do I feel my body so much, why does my body hurt so much, why is my mind not quiet, etc.etc.

As for power meditation I don't think it ever worked once. As for RTRs, I'm not sure if they work or not. People post things but how do we know it's from a spiritual effect and not a natural effect of reality. It's like AoP, I do it but does it even work at all, what am I doing. How can I a person not spiritually inclined affect the spiritual.

All it feels like is just thinking and using your imagination like playing pretend and nothing real is occurring.

Ever since yom kippur and even a bit before I felt like dialing down my meditations. Lately the only thing I do is a bit of void and one or two power meditations and that is it.

I can't ever say that being a Satanist has helped me. In fact according to one member of my family who I told him I'm in a spiritual religion but didn't say Satanism. He stated if it doesn't work and is creating issues than it's probably not worth it.

I wish it could work. In fact I guess my issues are that spirituality isn't fun. I don't feel enjoyable meditating and the fun stuff like say astral projection as an example are not even there for me it's way to difficult to do it.

I'm kinda on the same boat as Sun. I feel like a hypocrite being on these forums and posting more than once I've contemplated quitting the forums and just fading out maybe in some future meditation could work or at least help. Right now I just want to live happy and be happy unfortunately I'm not. It's just SS;DD: Same shit, different day.
 
Could it be that your feelings of unworthiness and undeservedness are twisting your perception and blocking you from feelings the Gods and from seeing the signs they leave for you to exit this undesirable situation? I feel like you lack self-acceptance and this is distorting your perception and preventing you from experiencing any result.

In addition to what others suggested (a balanced focus betwen the material and the spiritual), can I suggest a freeing the soul working to help you accept yourself. Give it a try. It seems like you feel you got nothing much to lose, so spending 5-10 minutes a day on this wouldn't be a problem, right?

9x Munka or Oss or Ur in your soul.
Then affirm with intent: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling life." x8/9

Add a daily affirmation for when you wake up and when you go to bed. "I accept myself fully. I overcome any shame and self-blame. I'm worthy and I deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life". (for 5 to 15 minutes).
 
Seem's like you are going through a bad transit or an enemy attack or both. Either way, you are a soldier of Satan and that makes you important like all of the Brother's and Sister's here. So prove your self worthy and make the God's proud about you.
My life used to suck, even now it's not easy but it was a well learned lesson for me cause it maked me strong. I am getting stronger and stronger and Satan was always there for me, His presence is so powerfull, BUT i have work hard ! So get on your feet man, you are here and you have opportunities that most of people would only wish and dream. Greatness comes only with hard work.
I trully wish you the best, take care of yourself and be strong.
 
I've been through a similar path as you are now. One thing I've learned that's essential for positive change in your life is your mindset. If you continue to focus on the negatives and have high standards of how life 'should' be and how your spiritual experiences 'should' be, you'll always be depressed, let down, lonely, and filled with inadequacy.

That has taken me a while to get through and thoroughly understand. I'm still dealing with thoughts of inadequacy, but because I let go of high expectations and impatience at results, as well as actually acknowledging my role in what problems affflicted me, things are much better!

Right now YOU are your own worst enemy, and you have to make a conscious effort to see yourself as you are and make improvements firstly to your mindset.

Another thing, after I first dedicated I also had hellish visions flash before my eyes. They were of how I could die at any given time in whatever place I was currently in. They consumed me, it felt like. What's helped me is to focus on better things. For me, that was the Gods and Spiritual Satanism in general. Usually thinking of a Gods sigil, image, name, etc would make the visions disperse immediately. But they did come back. So you just do it again and again and again until eventually, you no longer recieve those visions.

Also, regarding depression. What's helped me (along with conscious effort to change for the better) is to do a daily Runic working with Wunjo! Focus your thoughts on banishing the depression, think of happiness and joys.

But of course, whatever advice anyone here shares with you will mean nothing if you don't actually apply it to yourself.
 
Get your astrology checked out and work from there. Also it seems your belief about yourself is negative and you don't want to change this. For magic to work you have to love yourself, trust yourself and KNOW you are worthy and deserving and have faith in yourself. Otherwise the consciousness mind and subconsciousness are at odds against each other the subconsciousness mind blocks the working because its programmed for the negative and so the working fail its the same as trying to get a radio station but another one is overlapping its static.

Its best not to give up doing the Final RTR daily as its making your situation better to do such. Work with pranayama and positive affirmations but feel the affirmation while declaring it. Pranayama is powerful and a quick and fast way to bring your energy up and not be depressed. Keep your AOP strong daily as well.
 
Gear88 said:
I think I have that situation HP.Cobra mentioned a few posts before escapism and whatnot. The difference is Sun is 25 and I'm 29.

For example for a long time early in JoS back in mid-2000s(2003ish area) I was always on the assumption that meditation is like a drug to eliminate your issues. But I never knew meditation was so about being in your body. Even to this day I still feel like meditation is a burden on my life. I try and be mindful but it always leaves me going why do I feel my body so much, why does my body hurt so much, why is my mind not quiet, etc.etc.

As for power meditation I don't think it ever worked once. As for RTRs, I'm not sure if they work or not. People post things but how do we know it's from a spiritual effect and not a natural effect of reality. It's like AoP, I do it but does it even work at all, what am I doing. How can I a person not spiritually inclined affect the spiritual.

All it feels like is just thinking and using your imagination like playing pretend and nothing real is occurring.

Ever since yom kippur and even a bit before I felt like dialing down my meditations. Lately the only thing I do is a bit of void and one or two power meditations and that is it.

I can't ever say that being a Satanist has helped me. In fact according to one member of my family who I told him I'm in a spiritual religion but didn't say Satanism. He stated if it doesn't work and is creating issues than it's probably not worth it.

I wish it could work. In fact I guess my issues are that spirituality isn't fun. I don't feel enjoyable meditating and the fun stuff like say astral projection as an example are not even there for me it's way to difficult to do it.

I'm kinda on the same boat as Sun. I feel like a hypocrite being on these forums and posting more than once I've contemplated quitting the forums and just fading out maybe in some future meditation could work or at least help. Right now I just want to live happy and be happy unfortunately I'm not. It's just SS;DD: Same shit, different day.


Have you chanted in your chakras? For years it felt like imagination, till end of 2012 we learned to chant into the chakras. Thats when it became real to me.

Burning heat. Energy. Physical thick magnetic energy where the chakras are. I was blown away.

Then it tried doing alot. Doing the watchtowers in many reps. King and queen. Raum. Head stand Hard TH. I couldnt believe the power and how real it is.

That was a huge shift. Then our first RTR came out in 2014. We did like 2 that year for one time. 2015 we started doing them everyday once a day. I have done the RTRs from beginning to now. ALOT of power.

Now? No the final RTR produces very little one would feel. Their power is destroyed. Final RTR was good first 3 months it was out.

I could feel blocks blasting out of my nadis. Ebbing out of my feet. Very physical. Half way through the ritual was so over stimulating I didnt know if I could finish it.

So now things are little different yeah. You need your life first. Meditation can be 30 mins to an hour a day
 
I will be brutally honest with you now. I know you for some time now and all I see is that you are getting nowhere and for a good reason.

You are literally waste of our time and energy most likely. We all tried to be nice to you and to support you and to give you advices all this fucking time but all you done is to toss it all away and to continue with your bullshit and drama.


Idk how much patience we all need to have for a likes as you who come here and act like a spoiled brats throwing wild demands all the time and who never bother to properly understand anything or anyone. Brain errors all the way, huge ego, toxicity and negativity overload that never goes away. Those who always want it all over the night and they all gotta do it on a wrong way, pushing like crazy same shit over and over again expecting different results and never bothering to try something else, and then blame everybody for fails, be mad and jealous at everyone all the time! Ah ofc why to really listen to others and study more, maybe just pretend that you do it all and that you get it, but in reality lot of people aren't really trying to fix anything and they are just finding more ways to screw themselves so they have more reasons to make drama and then leave. Giving up on meditations all the time, staying here for even a decades but expecting it all while failing and giving up and not learning anything.

Ah but the Gods will fix it all! I never really tried to stay consistent with meditations for few years and to properly work on my issues but HOW DARE THE GODS IGNORE ME AND NOT FIX THIS FOR ME! Maybe if I wait for 20 years and never fix anything it will be all good since they will come and somehow everything will be perfect.

*insert childish voice*- Oh nobody cares for me! This world is so rotten! I will just kill myself now and everybody will feel sorry for me. Meditations are crap, workings are crap, nothing ever works. Everything must be perfect in my life so I start really meditating and to be serious about it all. I will always turn my head away from the truth too and will act like a victim even when I am not -

Likee...ummmm..how big brain errors you actually have on a daily basis it's crazy. People literally care about you and always did, people are trying to help you, Gods too. I'm sure they did tried to reach you at least a bit and to give you some boost since you actually started working on some things, but you gotta give up all the time.

It's said and explained tons of times already some things needs patience and for you to learn things, meditations and workings in most cases are here to help us slowly to fix some issues, not to fix it all over the night. You must work a lot more and to put consciouss effort into fixing your life, to learn about yourself and about the world you live in, to help your workings too by creating more opportunities in material realm, not to just sit, chant some mantras and to expect money to come to you in your doorstep just like that. It might work for some more experienced people and for those who have naturaly gifts for that but usually you have to find some sort of a job.

I told you you should find a job but you said it's impossible for you to find any. How is it more possible to have enough money via streaming soon? You need and expect money now. People need years to start getting enough money out of it and they often need a side job while streaming. You really don't know what it all will bring you, it's nice to have a dreams but you really should find at least a side job like others do. And add the fact that you should advance and learn more about yourself or you will be repeating same mistakes over and over again and it might all fail. You need to be more positive but not blind, you usually keep ignoring some things. Main issue is how you often aren't honest with yourself and you actually look really lazy not gonna lie. So idk...for a reason you are getting nowhere.




You are paranoid all the time too. Some random people talk random stuff there and you just appear from nowhere saying they attacked you and shit. You are so negative and paranoid that you can't think straight. Whatever happens in your life, your mind turns it into something dangerous and bad for you. You can't see properly because of it at all. I said nice things to you and I really was honest but you accused me of lying. Oh you just know I am lying and I actually I'm faking and pretending all the time. I really meant it you fucking retard. But fine, your brain will reset soon most likely so you will start thinking same bullshit again. You just can't fix your issues like that, you are stuck.

Oh but how you can work on your issues when your life isn't perfect?! Oh I feel so sorry for you! Well, you know, if your life is perfect you wouldn't even had anything special to work on. Sooooo many spoiled brats come here and they just gotta wait for perfect situation to start advancing and to fight for Satan. You make your life perfect, you aren't waiting for it to become the way you want.

-SATAN GOTTA REACH OUT TO ME SINCE I AM SO IMPORTANT. EVERYTHING IS REVOLVING AROUND ME!-

No. You come here and you reach out for Satan. Why would he give a crap for a newbie who is also really immature and who is actually rude. You said you were rude to the Gods? Who knows what all you said to them because you didn't had all your demands fullfiled.

When I was new and even now sometimes I struggle, there are tough times. I often would be so busy and tired, I would faint sometimes from exhaustion. Life sometimes was so rough and nasty. I had no privacy at all sometimes. I couldn't properly even rest or do anything I actually want. My body and soul would hurt from all the crap sometimes. Things were far from perfect and it gave me even more determination to work on my issues. When I struggled and problem would appear I would become really angry and determined, I would hit the wall with all my strength and watch the blood appearing on my fist. I would say to myself - I must fucking fix this. I will fucking fix this! - Oh I'm so crazy, I know. I'm crazy for Satan. I'm crazy for advancing myself in every fucking way.

When it was hard I still stayed with Satan.

I was grateful to be on His side, to fight and advance, and to feel His presence at least a little bit sometimes and I got rewarded for that all.

If you can't stay with Satan even when it's hard then you really didn't found yourself here. If you can't stay consistent with meditations because somethings is off about your life sometimes then this is not place for you. This is not a place for weaklings, spoiled brats and losers. You either know what you want here or you don't, you are here for a long enough so you should figured it all out and matured enough to at least fix few basic issues without stopping your meditations and making drama. We here actually love to work on ourselves even when it's hard and we want to be happy.
 
Stormblood said:
9x Munka or Oss or Ur in your soul.
Then affirm with intent: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling life." x8/9

Add a daily affirmation for when you wake up and when you go to bed. "I accept myself fully. I overcome any shame and self-blame. I'm worthy and I deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life". (for 5 to 15 minutes).

Thanks I'll try it out, although I've always been under the assumption since we aren't spiritually advanced beings that workings like this require high rep blasting to overcome issues. I've always been under the assumption things only work with high reps and that low reps should be avoided as it produces little to no results.

Are you sure such low reps does something? I know Lydia mentioned a short while back high reps aren't necessary always, lower reps with intensity can work wonders.

I think I'll try a Gothic Ansus version x9 with your affirmation. I might consider your affirmation pre and post sleep. Thanks stormblood.

SSwombat said:
I always give a big sigh of exasperation when I hear this type of post, not because I don't care, but because it is the classic "I tried it and it didn't work" cop-out. What the problem is, is that these people really don't understand what Spiritual Satanism is when they get into it; they don't do the necessary study, and it makes you wonder, was their dedication to Satan really genuine and sincere in the first place?

I do perfectly understand the situation. In fact thanks to the JoS it corrected me a long line of Neo-National Socialism that I had thought was the correct way of NS.

But unfortunately we don't live in an NS world and I've literally have no use for spiritual knowledge or ideas.

At the end of the day SS/NS becomes just a mental curiosity of an era whereby I'm fascinated by but it's completely useless now days. All I see is people going out and enjoying their lives. What does spirituality do to help?

I know I have to go out there but I genuinely have no desire to leave my house.

"I tried it and it didn't work" isn't a cop-out it's a serious thing perhaps for some members who dedicated just recently but as someone who has been at it since 2003(16 years) now it's really crushing my soul. So what can I say it doesn't work.

I dedicated, if my dedication is invalid it's probably because the Gods saw me and then said "This guy is never going to go anywhere; Why should we let them". After all they have all the visual future insight, why allow someone to dedicate that has no conviction to advance.

In my opinion it's not a cop out and perhaps it's more of a sign of how degenerated humanity is.
 
Indeed, perhaps you do need a break.
But from what i see here your biggest problem is you.

Re-iteration and dwelling on your problems only make them worse i'm sure you know this already as belief is a powerful thing.
It's easy for people with a negative mindset to spiral out of control, because they make things worse for themselves then that re-affirms their negativity making it even more worse.
If you want to change, you first have to change your perception on things do not dwell on your problems but instead be optimistic and know that things will get better, indeed i have been suicidal many times before coming to SS and even once after becoming SS.
I can understand how it's hard is to do anything or move when things are so hopeless, just remember stagnation leads to death and it's not like a quick death either, it's a slow and painful descent.

Do not doubt yourself, and do not doubt the gods, how are they supposed to help you when you doubt them?
you want them to help you, yet by doubting them you're working against them in this way.
Believe in yourself and the gods, know that they'll help you and that they'll succeed in it.

so yes, take a step back and relax, after all how are you supposed to help others when you can't even help yourself.
Also don't worry about 'time' yes i know it feels like you wasted a lot of time, however there is always 'time', your future lives will also benefit from the work you put into this one.
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Control.html
 
Stormblood said:
Could it be that your feelings of unworthiness and undeservedness are twisting your perception and blocking you from feelings the Gods and from seeing the signs they leave for you to exit this undesirable situation? I feel like you lack self-acceptance and this is distorting your perception and preventing you from experiencing any result.
I was thinking the same thing.
 
Gear88 said:
Stormblood said:
9x Munka or Oss or Ur in your soul.
Then affirm with intent: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling life." x8/9

Add a daily affirmation for when you wake up and when you go to bed. "I accept myself fully. I overcome any shame and self-blame. I'm worthy and I deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life". (for 5 to 15 minutes).

Thanks I'll try it out, although I've always been under the assumption since we aren't spiritually advanced beings that workings like this require high rep blasting to overcome issues. I've always been under the assumption things only work with high reps and that low reps should be avoided as it produces little to no results.

Are you sure such low reps does something? I know Lydia mentioned a short while back high reps aren't necessary always, lower reps with intensity can work wonders.

I think I'll try a Gothic Ansus version x9 with your affirmation. I might consider your affirmation pre and post sleep. Thanks stormblood.

Low reps is better than doing nothing. Believing is half the deal. If you doubt it, it'll never work. High or low reps.

For reps, they need to be done slowing. For vibrating mantras, one goes with the humming breath. The focus, unlike when you do breathing exercises without mantras, is on the exhalation. You really need to draw out the power of each mantras by extending the length of its vibration, without straining. That's where the power of mantras lies. Mantra is vibrating words if power, so it applies to all words of power regardless of whether they are Sanskrit, Sumerian, Enochian or Futhark.


If you want to do more, do it. The important thing is to be consistent in your effort. Pick a number and go with it everyday until the results come. Don't set any time limit. It may take a few days, it may take 40, 80, 90, more. It doesn't matter. The focus is to accomplish your goal, not how long it will take.

Little by little you also need to change your mindset and behaviour. The working will be a nudge toward that but it's ultimately you that have to follow through. If your depression and helplessness start fading but you keep behaving like someone depressed and helpless. Any feelings you're overcoming will come back.

If you break your leg and you go without walking and sometimes using a stick to help you for a period, limiting your movements, after your leg is healed you can't keep behaving the same way a disabled man would. You need to start behaving again like a man who can walk and start being as active as you were before breaking your leg.
 
Gear88 said:
Stormblood said:
9x Munka or Oss or Ur in your soul.
Then affirm with intent: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling life." x8/9

Add a daily affirmation for when you wake up and when you go to bed. "I accept myself fully. I overcome any shame and self-blame. I'm worthy and I deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life". (for 5 to 15 minutes).

Thanks I'll try it out, although I've always been under the assumption since we aren't spiritually advanced beings that workings like this require high rep blasting to overcome issues. I've always been under the assumption things only work with high reps and that low reps should be avoided as it produces little to no results.

Are you sure such low reps does something? I know Lydia mentioned a short while back high reps aren't necessary always, lower reps with intensity can work wonders.

I think I'll try a Gothic Ansus version x9 with your affirmation. I might consider your affirmation pre and post sleep. Thanks stormblood.

SSwombat said:
I always give a big sigh of exasperation when I hear this type of post, not because I don't care, but because it is the classic "I tried it and it didn't work" cop-out. What the problem is, is that these people really don't understand what Spiritual Satanism is when they get into it; they don't do the necessary study, and it makes you wonder, was their dedication to Satan really genuine and sincere in the first place?

I do perfectly understand the situation. In fact thanks to the JoS it corrected me a long line of Neo-National Socialism that I had thought was the correct way of NS.

But unfortunately we don't live in an NS world and I've literally have no use for spiritual knowledge or ideas.

At the end of the day SS/NS becomes just a mental curiosity of an era whereby I'm fascinated by but it's completely useless now days. All I see is people going out and enjoying their lives. What does spirituality do to help?

I know I have to go out there but I genuinely have no desire to leave my house.

"I tried it and it didn't work" isn't a cop-out it's a serious thing perhaps for some members who dedicated just recently but as someone who has been at it since 2003(16 years) now it's really crushing my soul. So what can I say it doesn't work.

I dedicated, if my dedication is invalid it's probably because the Gods saw me and then said "This guy is never going to go anywhere; Why should we let them". After all they have all the visual future insight, why allow someone to dedicate that has no conviction to advance.

In my opinion it's not a cop out and perhaps it's more of a sign of how degenerated humanity is.

Also make sure to ignore any Hate mail. I have seen you here for a while and I never thought of any problems with you. You dedicated your time and energy to us when you dont owe us shit.

Peoples minds are geared to attack weakness. Mine was always set to attack what was stronger then me. But many find solice in tearing others down the moment they wince.

You are stronger then this. You only become stronger from being broke down, never inflated up. In life its not about how hard you can hit but how hard you can get hit.

Right now an emergence has broken way in your life. Well...did you want to suffer on the same way you have been forever? Your mind screams for change.

You may Leave. But youll be back. For within stirs the same racial soul that calls us all to...our Creator.

Let loose to the change. Let it move and become anew. Beating yourself into submission and unhappiness never ends well.

Either way I shall see you again, Brother.
 
Ok to the Origional poster maybe stop doing too much at once. Try to mainly focus on the final Rtr for a few weeks maybe and aura of protection cleansing of course. That is taking a break kind of but when doing this take time to think about some stuff. This will benifit you in that there may be curses holding you back but it also won't be a huge thing where your meditating for hours.

I didn't want to partake in reading the whole of your post to be honest it sounds like you really are looking at things the wrong way. A little more optimism would help here. You may need to do some deprogramming from the enemy. I mean what else do you have but us or praising a Jew on a stick not taking any responsibility for anything yourself and being a slave or not believing in anything and sitting in front of a tube in your living room all day probably getting drunk or high. Then going out and talking about a bunch of supperficial stuff for a while. Then going home passing out and doing it again. If you work adding that into this.

Ok so you get my point stick with it. You can try the Jupiter or Sun Squares if you want. I'd do Jupiter soon if your going to do it at all cause it will be debilitated I think from early December to all of next year.

However man you have some time to think I won't be the one to tell you what to do no point in that. You either get this or you don't. Obviously we want you to advance.

The problem is you can meditate all you want do yoga all you want possibly even start to raise the Kundalini (and of course go insane or die due to your programming) but its not going to advance you very far if you are programmed by the enemy it will just empower the bad programming even more. You will probably quit for good.

So maybe on top of just the final Rtr and cleansing and protection use Munka each day to free yourself the affirmation I like is "I am completely and eternally free of all connections and influiences of the enemies of Satan now" or some affirmation like that. I personally had good luck with that one it was the same one used by Cobra awhile back in a another working he talked about. 9 is a good number.

Anyways its up to you be a loser or a warrior and a hero right now you sound like a loser so get over it and try to be a winner.

Also who says the God's didn't do anything for you. The thing is though with your programming you are probably blocked from realizing this too and you won't advance very far.

Anyways so the truth is you have to actually raise your vibration not just meditate etc. You can somewhat advance and be on a low vibration the enemy people do it all the time. You have to over come the programming I think is your problem. Be free. Also reading all of the various JOS sites helps in this too. Maybe listening to audeo sermons from various people on Satan's library.

Ok you know what to do now go do it you don't have to quit just tell the enemy fuck you and work to be free.
 
Gear88 said:
Stormblood said:
9x Munka or Oss or Ur in your soul.
Then affirm with intent: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling life." x8/9

Add a daily affirmation for when you wake up and when you go to bed. "I accept myself fully. I overcome any shame and self-blame. I'm worthy and I deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life". (for 5 to 15 minutes).

Thanks I'll try it out, although I've always been under the assumption since we aren't spiritually advanced beings that workings like this require high rep blasting to overcome issues. I've always been under the assumption things only work with high reps and that low reps should be avoided as it produces little to no results.

Are you sure such low reps does something? I know Lydia mentioned a short while back high reps aren't necessary always, lower reps with intensity can work wonders.

I think I'll try a Gothic Ansus version x9 with your affirmation. I might consider your affirmation pre and post sleep. Thanks stormblood.

SSwombat said:
I always give a big sigh of exasperation when I hear this type of post, not because I don't care, but because it is the classic "I tried it and it didn't work" cop-out. What the problem is, is that these people really don't understand what Spiritual Satanism is when they get into it; they don't do the necessary study, and it makes you wonder, was their dedication to Satan really genuine and sincere in the first place?

I do perfectly understand the situation. In fact thanks to the JoS it corrected me a long line of Neo-National Socialism that I had thought was the correct way of NS.

But unfortunately we don't live in an NS world and I've literally have no use for spiritual knowledge or ideas.

At the end of the day SS/NS becomes just a mental curiosity of an era whereby I'm fascinated by but it's completely useless now days. All I see is people going out and enjoying their lives. What does spirituality do to help?

I know I have to go out there but I genuinely have no desire to leave my house.

"I tried it and it didn't work" isn't a cop-out it's a serious thing perhaps for some members who dedicated just recently but as someone who has been at it since 2003(16 years) now it's really crushing my soul. So what can I say it doesn't work.

I dedicated, if my dedication is invalid it's probably because the Gods saw me and then said "This guy is never going to go anywhere; Why should we let them". After all they have all the visual future insight, why allow someone to dedicate that has no conviction to advance.

In my opinion it's not a cop out and perhaps it's more of a sign of how degenerated humanity is.
You tried and it didn’t work because you can’t stay consistent in this lifelong path, your 16 years don’t count anything if you can’t even sit down and meditate everyday for atleast 3 days in a row. You also have this negative mindset that is just setting you up for failure, constantly saying meditation isn’t fun and that others are having fun but you aren’t, being an SS doesen’t mean you don’t get to have fun. Being an SS isn’t just a mental curiosity, it’s a way of life, you just call it like that because you don’t have the will to actually do something and advance spiritually and mentally.
 
Gear88 said:
Stormblood said:
9x Munka or Oss or Ur in your soul.
Then affirm with intent: "I am now totally free to have a happy and fulfilling life." x8/9

Add a daily affirmation for when you wake up and when you go to bed. "I accept myself fully. I overcome any shame and self-blame. I'm worthy and I deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life". (for 5 to 15 minutes).

Thanks I'll try it out, although I've always been under the assumption since we aren't spiritually advanced beings that workings like this require high rep blasting to overcome issues. I've always been under the assumption things only work with high reps and that low reps should be avoided as it produces little to no results.

Are you sure such low reps does something? I know Lydia mentioned a short while back high reps aren't necessary always, lower reps with intensity can work wonders.

I think I'll try a Gothic Ansus version x9 with your affirmation. I might consider your affirmation pre and post sleep. Thanks stormblood.

SSwombat said:
I always give a big sigh of exasperation when I hear this type of post, not because I don't care, but because it is the classic "I tried it and it didn't work" cop-out. What the problem is, is that these people really don't understand what Spiritual Satanism is when they get into it; they don't do the necessary study, and it makes you wonder, was their dedication to Satan really genuine and sincere in the first place?

I do perfectly understand the situation. In fact thanks to the JoS it corrected me a long line of Neo-National Socialism that I had thought was the correct way of NS.

But unfortunately we don't live in an NS world and I've literally have no use for spiritual knowledge or ideas.

At the end of the day SS/NS becomes just a mental curiosity of an era whereby I'm fascinated by but it's completely useless now days. All I see is people going out and enjoying their lives. What does spirituality do to help?

I know I have to go out there but I genuinely have no desire to leave my house.

"I tried it and it didn't work" isn't a cop-out it's a serious thing perhaps for some members who dedicated just recently but as someone who has been at it since 2003(16 years) now it's really crushing my soul. So what can I say it doesn't work.

I dedicated, if my dedication is invalid it's probably because the Gods saw me and then said "This guy is never going to go anywhere; Why should we let them". After all they have all the visual future insight, why allow someone to dedicate that has no conviction to advance.

In my opinion it's not a cop out and perhaps it's more of a sign of how degenerated humanity is.
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=24851 This post came at the right time, perhaps it could make you understand better.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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