Can you be really kind?And a goody goody two shoes?And belong to satan?I got into satanism by believing jesus was a thought form.
Calm down, I perceive from your words, you feel internal desperation.
With all of your different account names since you called yourself Ghost Kid, you have never been serious.
As we all have advised you many times, you need to actually put in the effort and actually be Satanist. Work on the Power Meditations, work on improving and strengthening your soul, work with the Gods, and work towards growing to become a greater person.
Imp lover, I did not follow your actions in the forum, but I assume what OI argedco lucifitas says.
What I think, is you - may - have a full throttle internal confusion, with different pulses into your unconscious mind, mostly deriving from xianity.
I know twhat it mean "desperately seeking acceptance" by experience, I know what it means being a reward-seeking machine, for some reasons, That I slowly fixed.
I think, you are doing the same, if you swing from xianity to Satanism, you will never stay in the middle of them, but you will first or late fall in the middle pit of nothingness.
There's probably an internal "voice" - or pulse - in your mind trying to keep you far from Satan. This may be desperate in seeking acceptance, and always feeling unworthy and not good enough to be SS.
This is all from the enemy and xianity. Xianity is infact an entire program, called "religion", based of NOT being worth and always feeling "wrong". This is done with the story of the "original sin", for which every man is "wrong", "born defective", etc. There is nothing of this sort in Satanism; each of us is OK except the jews, and Satan do not blame us for our errors or problems, rather He encourages us to fix them and overcome fears.
If you think Satan does not like you, simply perform a short Ritual and respectfully ask Him : "Do you like me"?
The answers will speak for themselves.