I should just give up? (please help)

[jenmarth13]

I feel like I don’t want to live anymore. I work on myself physically and spiritually, contribute to the community, do warfare everyday but it’s never enough. Satan just doesn’t care.

First of all, I’m 100% sure I’m not a Jew. If I die, and decide to stay on the astral and have my soul dissipate, would that be possible? I really don’t want to live another life with this.

I’m normally supportive of people who have this problem... but my situation cannot be solved with a meditation working!!! Long story short, last year I entered a relationship with an incubus (my biggest regret) and it failed. I was doing copious amounts of warfare, got attacked HORRIBLY and CONSTANTLY!!! Leaving me in the worst position I’ve been EVER! Needles to say my then incubus got fed up with me. He said he hated me and I knew it was over.

Fast forward to now, I’m crying and yelling at Satan and a god(s??) because I keep hearing them say “there’s nobody” “there’s nothing for you” “you will never [be with an incunis]” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It makes me angry and cry for hours.. I’m fed up.

All I wanted was to be with an incubus. But he left me permanently (I’ve... grown to hate him, as he hates me too.) Now I’ll never get a second chance with another incubus....it’s been a whole year and I hear nothing supportive at all. I only hear that I’m crazy and I’m a bitch...etc when I’m reallity I’m just severely lonely. It’s even on my birth chart how bad this loneliness gets.

I will NEVER accept a relationship with another human. No exceptions. I know it sounds stupid, but I won’t. Therefore, I’ve accepted I will never be in a relationship ever again. OBVIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE FOCUS IN SATANISM!!!! I know!!!!!! But knowing that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life (I give it another 3 years before I end it)

I get called pathetic, crazy worthless, useless....etc this is coming FROM THE GODS, not the enemy. So it must be true.. I have no support from any powers of hell. Meditation has become difficult and I can’t even do it properly... I’m just too fucking sad to put effort anymore...

I just really want to die. Do you all think I should? If I live, I’m going to be single and (currently a virgin, so celibate) for the rest of my life. This kills me inside. And the gods just... don’t give a fuck. They say I’m worthless. I’m in severe emotional and mental pain 24/7. And when they say “there’s nobody” to me, I loose it and start yelling at them and crying.

I’m just... idk what to do.

 

[Magus Immortalis]

When one advances in their soul, their life, does spiritual warfare and seeks a relationship with the gods and Satan, the enemy will attack. Daily. They see the chinks in our armor and take advantage of it. I believe this is what is happening to you. 
Don't stop advancing. Don't stop spiritual warfare. Don't stop seeking the gods and Satan. 
You will be attacked but you must become stronger. Control your emotions, keep yourself in check and don't let your emotions get the best of you, no matter what the enemy says. (This is where void meditation and ignoring the enemy comes in. It takes practice, but it pays off in the end.)
And yes, it IS the enemy, and NOT the gods of Hell, that are telling you these things.
Satan and the Powers of Hell are ethical beings. They are teachers of morality. If you are Gentile and are doing all the things you have written that you do, they do NOT hate you. They also would not say such mean, callous things.
I see my Guardians often and they have never, ever said such things to me. They are also positive, uplifting, to-the-point and super-clear about what you may be doing wrong but they are NEVER unkind. They may be stern and serious at times, though, if you are not doing what is expected of you.
As for your Incubus, that may take some time. He comes to you when he chooses to. Mine came when I was 7 years into spiritual Satanism as a dedicated spiritual Satanist, and I see and talk to him often now. I don't know when your Incubus will make his presence known but with all the annoying noise the enemy is making, and you're going along with what the enemy says to you (to get you to hate your Incubus, and in probably in time, Satan) it might be hard to hear and see him. Know that Satan heard your ritual in asking for an Incubus. 
Don't let the enemy win. They WANT you to stop or slow down your power meditations, they WANT you to hate your Incubus and Satan, so your energy levels will fall and you will feel worse, and they will continue their attacks and kick you when you're down, feeling lonely and utterly alone. That's their tactic. They feed off these negative emotions too that they instigate in you.
Hail Satan!Hail Marchosias!

On Wednesday, October 24, 2018, 11:08:49 a.m. EDT, jenmarth13@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected] wrote:

  I feel like I don’t want to live anymore. I work on myself physically and spiritually, contribute to the community, do warfare everyday but it’s never enough. Satan just doesn’t care.

First of all, I’m 100% sure I’m not a Jew. If I die, and decide to stay on the astral and have my soul dissipate, would that be possible? I really don’t want to live another life with this.

I’m normally supportive of people who have this problem... but my situation cannot be solved with a meditation working!!! Long story short, last year I entered a relationship with an incubus (my biggest regret) and it failed. I was doing copious amounts of warfare, got attacked HORRIBLY and CONSTANTLY!!! Leaving me in the worst position I’ve been EVER! Needles to say my then incubus got fed up with me. He said he hated me and I knew it was over.

Fast forward to now, I’m crying and yelling at Satan and a god(s??) because I keep hearing them say “there’s nobody” “there’s nothing for you” “you will never [be with an incunis]” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It makes me angry and cry for hours.. I’m fed up.

All I wanted was to be with an incubus. But he left me permanently (I’ve... grown to hate him, as he hates me too.) Now I’ll never get a second chance with another incubus....it’s been a whole year and I hear nothing supportive at all. I only hear that I’m crazy and I’m a bitch...etc when I’m reallity I’m just severely lonely. It’s even on my birth chart how bad this loneliness gets.

I will NEVER accept a relationship with another human. No exceptions. I know it sounds stupid, but I won’t. Therefore, I’ve accepted I will never be in a relationship ever again. OBVIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE FOCUS IN SATANISM!!!! I know!!!!!! But knowing that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life (I give it another 3 years before I end it)

I get called pathetic, crazy worthless, useless....etc this is coming FROM THE GODS, not the enemy. So it must be true.. I have no support from any powers of hell. Meditation has become difficult and I can’t even do it properly... I’m just too fucking sad to put effort anymore...

I just really want to die. Do you all think I should? If I live, I’m going to be single and (currently a virgin, so celibate) for the rest of my life. This kills me inside. And the gods just... don’t give a fuck. They say I’m worthless. I’m in severe emotional and mental pain 24/7. And when they say “there’s nobody” to me, I loose it and start yelling at them and crying.

I’m just... idk what to do.

 

[Magus Immortalis]

When one advances in their soul, their life, does spiritual warfare and seeks a relationship with the gods and Satan, the enemy will attack. Daily. They see the chinks in our armor and take advantage of it. I believe this is what is happening to you. 
Don't stop advancing. Don't stop spiritual warfare. Don't stop seeking the gods and Satan. 
You will be attacked but you must become stronger. Control your emotions, keep yourself in check and don't let your emotions get the best of you, no matter what the enemy says. (This is where void meditation and ignoring the enemy comes in. It takes practice, but it pays off in the end.)
And yes, it IS the enemy, and NOT the gods of Hell, that are telling you these things.
Satan and the Powers of Hell are ethical beings. They are teachers of morality. If you are Gentile and are doing all the things you have written that you do, they do NOT hate you. They also would not say such mean, callous things.
I see my Guardians often and they have never, ever said such things to me. They are also positive, uplifting, to-the-point and super-clear about what you may be doing wrong but they are NEVER unkind. They may be stern and serious at times, though, if you are not doing what is expected of you.
As for your Incubus, that may take some time. He comes to you when he chooses to. Mine came when I was 7 years into spiritual Satanism as a dedicated spiritual Satanist, and I see and talk to him often now. I don't know when your Incubus will make his presence known but with all the annoying noise the enemy is making, and you're going along with what the enemy says to you (to get you to hate your Incubus, and in probably in time, Satan) it might be hard to hear and see him. Know that Satan heard your ritual in asking for an Incubus. 
Don't let the enemy win. They WANT you to stop or slow down your power meditations, they WANT you to hate your Incubus and Satan, so your energy levels will fall and you will feel worse, and they will continue their attacks and kick you when you're down, feeling lonely and utterly alone. That's their tactic. They feed off these negative emotions too that they instigate in you.
Hail Satan!Hail Marchosias!

On Wednesday, October 24, 2018, 1:19:40 p.m. EDT, Magus Immortalis <magus.immortalis@... wrote:

When one advances in their soul, their life, does spiritual warfare and seeks a relationship with the gods and Satan, the enemy will attack. Daily. They see the chinks in our armor and take advantage of it. I believe this is what is happening to you. 
Don't stop advancing. Don't stop spiritual warfare. Don't stop seeking the gods and Satan. 
You will be attacked but you must become stronger. Control your emotions, keep yourself in check and don't let your emotions get the best of you, no matter what the enemy says. (This is where void meditation and ignoring the enemy comes in. It takes practice, but it pays off in the end.)
And yes, it IS the enemy, and NOT the gods of Hell, that are telling you these things.
Satan and the Powers of Hell are ethical beings. They are teachers of morality. If you are Gentile and are doing all the things you have written that you do, they do NOT hate you. They also would not say such mean, callous things.
I see my Guardians often and they have never, ever said such things to me. They are also positive, uplifting, to-the-point and super-clear about what you may be doing wrong but they are NEVER unkind. They may be stern and serious at times, though, if you are not doing what is expected of you.
As for your Incubus, that may take some time. He comes to you when he chooses to. Mine came when I was 7 years into spiritual Satanism as a dedicated spiritual Satanist, and I see and talk to him often now. I don't know when your Incubus will make his presence known but with all the annoying noise the enemy is making, and you're going along with what the enemy says to you (to get you to hate your Incubus, and in probably in time, Satan) it might be hard to hear and see him. Know that Satan heard your ritual in asking for an Incubus. 
Don't let the enemy win. They WANT you to stop or slow down your power meditations, they WANT you to hate your Incubus and Satan, so your energy levels will fall and you will feel worse, and they will continue their attacks and kick you when you're down, feeling lonely and utterly alone. That's their tactic. They feed off these negative emotions too that they instigate in you.
Hail Satan!Hail Marchosias!


On Wednesday, October 24, 2018, 11:08:49 a.m. EDT, jenmarth13@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected] wrote:

  I feel like I don’t want to live anymore. I work on myself physically and spiritually, contribute to the community, do warfare everyday but it’s never enough. Satan just doesn’t care.

First of all, I’m 100% sure I’m not a Jew. If I die, and decide to stay on the astral and have my soul dissipate, would that be possible? I really don’t want to live another life with this.

I’m normally supportive of people who have this problem... but my situation cannot be solved with a meditation working!!! Long story short, last year I entered a relationship with an incubus (my biggest regret) and it failed. I was doing copious amounts of warfare, got attacked HORRIBLY and CONSTANTLY!!! Leaving me in the worst position I’ve been EVER! Needles to say my then incubus got fed up with me. He said he hated me and I knew it was over.

Fast forward to now, I’m crying and yelling at Satan and a god(s??) because I keep hearing them say “there’s nobody” “there’s nothing for you” “you will never [be with an incunis]” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It makes me angry and cry for hours.. I’m fed up.

All I wanted was to be with an incubus. But he left me permanently (I’ve... grown to hate him, as he hates me too.) Now I’ll never get a second chance with another incubus....it’s been a whole year and I hear nothing supportive at all. I only hear that I’m crazy and I’m a bitch...etc when I’m reallity I’m just severely lonely. It’s even on my birth chart how bad this loneliness gets.

I will NEVER accept a relationship with another human. No exceptions. I know it sounds stupid, but I won’t. Therefore, I’ve accepted I will never be in a relationship ever again. OBVIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE FOCUS IN SATANISM!!!! I know!!!!!! But knowing that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life (I give it another 3 years before I end it)

I get called pathetic, crazy worthless, useless....etc this is coming FROM THE GODS, not the enemy. So it must be true.. I have no support from any powers of hell. Meditation has become difficult and I can’t even do it properly... I’m just too fucking sad to put effort anymore...

I just really want to die. Do you all think I should? If I live, I’m going to be single and (currently a virgin, so celibate) for the rest of my life. This kills me inside. And the gods just... don’t give a fuck. They say I’m worthless. I’m in severe emotional and mental pain 24/7. And when they say “there’s nobody” to me, I loose it and start yelling at them and crying.

I’m just... idk what to do.

 

[vahswplhvsc4357o4irdmlulgj4pifhsbojb2jzg]

CALM DOWN. It's ONLY the enemy doing this to you!

Father Satan DOES care. He would NEVER harm you, only the enemy would!

You need to do a banishment ritual and do lots of void meditation as well as flame meditation!

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... shing.html

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ation.html

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ation.html

Your Incubus has not left you, but you really need to get everything under control,otherwise, the enemy is going to keep on tormenting you.

Dying is NEVER an option!

 

[[email protected]]

I doubt Father is taunting you. You said that you were being constantly attacked. Which leads me to believe that you are still being attacked. Not only that, but if you were doing a lot of warfare then you surely would've gotten what you deserved.

I do absolutely nothing for Father due to my current situation, he still helps me and he cares about us. We all have one thing in common, we all come from a bad place. I know what it's like to have a mental scar. . .I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Father. That's why I am skeptical it's him. But stay strong.

Killing yourself will solve nothing. You will be doomed to repeat the same tragedy. The best you can do is stand your ground and show you're a force to be reckoned with. Whether if it is Father or not that is putting you down, let no one's opinion take you down.

 

[jenmarth13]

Thanks magus! It’s really great your GD has been so supportive. None of the interactions with the gods that I have were positive. They’ve just been cruel. Granted i deserve it... it goes like this

I wake up to “there’s nobody”..etc
I cry, get angry, cuss and yell because that’s just uncalled for. And chances are i wasn’t even thinking/dreaming of relationships...
they deem that disrespectful, thus treating me like dirt
I cry more, the despair of being single forever takes hold as I hear them say “there’s/you’re nobody” and I cry and tell them to stop or I get angry and cuss at them
they deem that disrespectful and treat me like dirt

...etc
Even when I y’all to them about it I hear “I don’t care”
IT WASNT ALWAYS LIKE THIS. A year ago I would have NEVER talked back to/cusses at a god!!!!! Everything has just escalated to this. I have tried so many times in the past to be respectful and to understand them. I’ve done so many working to do
So... and they were always just.. rude.




Like, all I want is support. I still want to be with an incubus. But they told me a while ago that “nobody wants me” and “they’ll never accept me” yes it’s them that said it, not the enemy. I would say ask Satan as proof..cause it’s true, but there aren’t mediators here.

I guarantee it’s 10000000% over with the incubus. We don’t even talk anymore. And I seear on everything precious to me that he(or at least one Satanic god) hates me. I swear!!!! They’ve said it so many times. Ive had the enemy tell me shit and It’s not the same.

I am NOT going to stop doing warfare, or helping out when I can. But I know no matter how much I do for Satan, I’ll never be with an incubus again. Satan confirmed this to me.
I know deep down I’ll never be happy with another human (I don’t hate humanity obviously, I just wouldn’t be happy with another person) and it’s even hinted in my birth chart that an incubus might suit me better. But alas... it’s not going a happen.

I just can’t cope with this anymore.. I’ve developed this “it doesn’t matter since I’m not gonna be with an incubus anyway” mentality regarding my life and such. It just hurts, and nobody cares. Like my whole life...with this pain. It’s a whole lot to take in and it’s killing me slowly. I’ve ruined my changes of being with any incubus permanently.

As I type this I hear “nobody wants you” ...thanks I guess. I guess I didn’t hear it the last 40 times today.

 

[jenmarth13]

With the incubus situation, I’ve grown bitter, sad and angry that he didn’t stick with me through the roughest times. I was at my worst...I had never, in all my years of being dedicated been attacked so badly. I mean it was every night, no sleep, wake up do a heck load of rtrs in the middle of the night (sometimes twice) and banishing rituals, horrible dreams, being felt like I was being sucked in by something, getting harrased by things trying to hurt me in my sleep who would get mad if I said Satan’s name, the screeching...ughhh it. Was. Not. Easy. Sometimes I would pass out from sleep without completely getting rid of it all.

I have trouble seeing that it was entirely my fault.. there were other minor problems too, but they would have been solved if he would of been patient with me.

I was going to do better, especially if he would have stayed. But he didn’t love me. :/ so that left a scar. I have no feelings for him anymore at all. But his actions left a deep impact.

I just wanted a long healthy relationship with an incubus... not this mess.

Sorry for the rant. I just gotta get this off my chest.

 

[mirela_14]

First of all, how do you know that those are our Gods talking to you? How exactly do you know it's not the Enemy?

Our Gods would *never* do that. Father Satan would *never* do that. He cares for all of us. And he loves us. Including you.

How do you know that Incubus was of Father Satan and not a spirit of the enemies? Did you ask for him from Father Satan?

A very easy method to verify if a spirit or Demon is of Father Satan is to make them swear their allegiance to Him.

I'm not yet advanced enough to talk to any of our Gods, but I feel it. There's no way any of Them or Father Satan would say any of those things.

Those are the enemies. There's absolutely no doubt there. They're playing with your mind and your insecurities.

You've said that you used to constantly get attacked by them. How do you know that they're not pretending to be our Gods?

Father Satan is not disappointed in you. He wants us all to reach our potential. He wouldn't be helping us right now to escape the chains of the enemy if that wasn't the case.

You need to be strong. Suicide might be tempting - and wishing to fully disappear - but you might deeply regret it later.

Maybe do a banishing ritual. Talk to Father Satan. You know deep inside that the powers of Hell do care for you.

Don't give up on the meditation.

And no, a relationship shouldn't be your focus right now. Be it with a human or a spiritual lover. You need to get rid of the enemy first.

Ignore them. You're strong and you're worthy of Father Satan's love. They take advantage of your low self-esteem and take the form of our Gods to mess with you.

They want you to give up.

Be strong and have faith. They feed on attention, after all.

But you have to believe that Father Satan and our Gods would never do that. And I'm sure you know it deep inside.

You're not a failure.

And failing doesn't define you. We all fail from time to time. But we have to get up and try again.

The fact that they attack you so much proves how worthy you are and how much they want to get rid of you.

Take pride in who you are and don't give up on your advancement.

I wish you good luck.

Hail Father Satan!

 

[Magus Immortalis]

Jenmarth13, I suggest you stop and to carefully read everyone's replies to you. Why do you keep believing your Incubus does not love you, when he might? Why do you keep playing into the enemy's plans to let them emotionally manipulate you?
It sounds and looks like you are just ranting and not reading people's responses. I know you have to get this off your chest but please consider my, and everyone else's replies. Satan and the Demons of Hell DO care for and love you. But you have to stop running with your emotions.
Hail Satan!Hail Marchosias!

On Wednesday, October 24, 2018, 6:42:54 p.m. EDT, donotfearthetruth@... [JoyofSatan666] <[email protected] wrote:

  CALM DOWN. It's ONLY the enemy doing this to you!

Father Satan DOES care. He would NEVER harm you, only the enemy would!

You need to do a banishment ritual and do lots of void meditation as well as flame meditation!

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... shing.html

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ation.html

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ation.html

Your Incubus has not left you, but you really need to get everything under control,otherwise, the enemy is going to keep on tormenting you.

Dying is NEVER an option!

 

[vahswplhvsc4357o4irdmlulgj4pifhsbojb2jzg]

I think you probably don't have an Incubus, being not that open and stuff,the enemy can taunt you and stuff.

 

[jenmarth13]

I AM reading the replies.. I knew nobody would understand. Look... we ended it a year ago in June or July. I know for a fact he does NOT love me anymore. I’m 100% sure he’s with someone else. I don’t know how to stress it to you guys enough...

It’s really ended. it’s not the enemy! I swear! Ask Satan yourselves if it’s possible for an incubus to leave you! It is! It even says so on the JoS page. I’m not even joking or trolling!!!


You guys, please.... I’m not some beginner noob. My astral senses are open enough. I know what I’ve seen and heard. I’ve talked to Satan DIRECTLY about it. (I’ve used blue Satanic energy/done formal rituals...etc) There is no incubus with me...

Gosh this hurts so much! I know he sees this now. You guys just can’t fathom an incubus would leave somebody..I don’t have any words anymore. You guys just aren’t going to believe me. Ask Satan yourselves.. I implore you.

 

[Tara Lambert]

There is a very knowledgeable person trying to help you here. Why are you arguing with them? Can you not entertain the possibility that your perception of what is going on with you is skewed? Because people that ask for help, and then argue with others that are doing their best to help and have a lot more experience in this than they do - really don't want help. Do you really want help?
Gotta lose that chip on your shoulder and LISTEN. It IS the enemy. They've got your head so twisted around you can't see forward any more. Listen to the advice you are being given. Just stop talking in your head for a minute and listen. You just said yourself it really ramped up when you were doing rotors in the middle of the night sleepless. Think about that. You are confused. Seriously. The only one that can change this is YOU so take control instead of collapsing in self pity.

Skickat från min iPhone

 

[jenmarth13]

You all have been so kind in your replies, so thank you all so much.But I have so much proof that it IS our gods saying and doing these things to me. But I’m sure you’re tired of hearing it. All the proof and instances I’ve had would be too much to type anyway.

I know to control my emotions and such. But it still deeply hurts that no one understands. I’m back at square one.

 

[diexell4]

Its the fcking enemy who treats you like dirt of course you should try to treat ´the gods respectful , BUT EVEN if you would say to one of our gods fck you or you are stupid or stuff and haven't your emotions under control they would still talk nicely to you, because they know your situation. This ARE NOT the gods also try the invocation to satan to get rid of this beings. Say this : <em>In the Name of Satan, Ruler of the Earth, True God, Almighty and Ineffable, Who hast created man to reflect in Thine own image and likeness, I invite the Forces of Darkness to bestow their infernal power upon me. Open the Gates of Hell to come forth to greet me as your Brother/Sister and friend.</em>Deliver me O Mighty Satan from all past error and delusion, fill me with truth, wisdom and understanding, keep me strong in my faith and service, that I may abide always in Thee with Praise, Honor and Glory be given Thee forever and ever.<em>
</em><em>After you said this your hole room gets filled with satanic blue fire and the enemy will go away, even the satanic blue fire goes into you. </em><em>
</em><em>And one question are you dedicated ?</em><em>
</em>

 

[shade00013]

If your finding it hard to meditate for the purpose of defence such as with ALGIZ(this has helped me a lot) then just burn some white sage and/or ring a sing bowl before the meditation… this helps a lot to diffuse the situation! Also the gems Shungite, Tektite, Black Tourmaline and Amethyst also aid with protection when your out in the open!

Shungite aids with sucking out negative energy from your soul and doing damage to negative entities.

Tektite causes your soul to vibrate shaking off alien influences.

Black Tourmaline both cleanses and erects a barrier around the self.

Amethyst helps to calm the mind and protect the mind while making you more aware of the deceptions of the enemy.

I know how you feel!
My stubborn and prideful nature makes it impossible to ask for aid with attacks… but because of that I have been forced to learn the hard way… also…

ALGIZ for protect
THURISAZ for courage
ANSUZ for letting go

And… as much as I’m gonna get hate for this… number 1 rule of survival! “You come first!… not the cause!”
I think… for now a least… maybe just put these RTR’s on pause until you can sort youself out and buff up them defences then come back to them!

HAIL your own immortal soul!

 

[R B]

First,the powers of Hell are ethical beings and they would never display such kind of behaviour.I'm also not inclined to believe you're incubus was a real Demon. Second,Satan does care. Psychic attacks from the enemy are a tough obstacle on our path,especially when we're new.I've also been in much worse situations and struggled with the thoughts that I'm an outcast,in every single way. Suicidal thoughts were constantly in my head. And that was just the beginning.But I never gave up on Satan,and He never gave up on me. I'd ask you to sit down,take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Think about nothing. Keep breathing slowly and when you're calm,think about Satan.Visualize His sigil and focus on feeling.You can open your heart to Him and tell Him everything that's bothering you.It's good to pour your heart out to someone,and who better than Satan. Also,clean your soul and aura thoroughly and put an aura of protection on yourself everyday. Think positively and focus on Satan. If the negative thoughts keep coming back just call Satan's name in your head as this might deter any enemy spirits responsible.Give the enemy minimal attention.All the best. And thanks for opening up,if you would have kept bottling up it could have turned out worse.

On Wednesday, October 24, 2018, jenmarth13@... [JoyofSatan666] <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

  I feel like I don’t want to live anymore. I work on myself physically and spiritually, contribute to the community, do warfare everyday but it’s never enough.. Satan just doesn’t care.

First of all, I’m 100% sure I’m not a Jew. If I die, and decide to stay on the astral and have my soul dissipate, would that be possible? I really don’t want to live another life with this.

I’m normally supportive of people who have this problem... but my situation cannot be solved with a meditation working!!! Long story short, last year I entered a relationship with an incubus (my biggest regret) and it failed. I was doing copious amounts of warfare, got attacked HORRIBLY and CONSTANTLY!!! Leaving me in the worst position I’ve been EVER! Needles to say my then incubus got fed up with me. He said he hated me and I knew it was over.

Fast forward to now, I’m crying and yelling at Satan and a god(s??) because I keep hearing them say “there’s nobody” “there’s nothing for you” “you will never [be with an incunis]” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It makes me angry and cry for hours.. I’m fed up.

All I wanted was to be with an incubus.. But he left me permanently (I’ve... grown to hate him, as he hates me too.) Now I’ll never get a second chance with another incubus.....it’s been a whole year and I hear nothing supportive at all. I only hear that I’m crazy and I’m a bitch...etc when I’m reallity I’m just severely lonely. It’s even on my birth chart how bad this loneliness gets.

I will NEVER accept a relationship with another human. No exceptions. I know it sounds stupid, but I won’t. Therefore, I’ve accepted I will never be in a relationship ever again. OBVIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE FOCUS IN SATANISM!!!! I know!!!!!! But knowing that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life (I give it another 3 years before I end it)

I get called pathetic, crazy worthless, useless....etc this is coming FROM THE GODS, not the enemy. So it must be true.. I have no support from any powers of hell. Meditation has become difficult and I can’t even do it properly... I’m just too fucking sad to put effort anymore...

I just really want to die. Do you all think I should? If I live, I’m going to be single and (currently a virgin, so celibate) for the rest of my life. This kills me inside. And the gods just... don’t give a fuck.. They say I’m worthless. I’m in severe emotional and mental pain 24/7. And when they say “there’s nobody” to me, I loose it and start yelling at them and crying.

I’m just... idk what to do.

 

[R B]

Also,it's pretty obvious to what lengths the enemy will go to smear shit on Satan's name. Take a look at the Bible,the old grimoires,the Qur'an and all that other enemy literature out there. The enemy is keen on destroying our relationship with the powers of Hell,even if it takes impersonation. None of those beings doing all that nasty stuff to you would claim allegiance to Satan. Some things are just facts;DEMONS ARE ETHICAL BEINGS.For the enemy to conquer the world,they played foul. They used murder,torture,fear and lies. Upto today,the powers of Hell use fair play to reestablish the old world.Satan hasn't threatened anyone.He comes to us,teaches us the truth and gives us the option of whether to follow Him or not.We are few but faithful.Heck He even sometimes has us sit down and read through endless historical records just to show us the truth. From the very beginning upto today, the powers of Hell have displayed proper ethics;as for the enemy,one only needs to read the Torah to see who cheats to win.

On Wednesday, October 24, 2018, jenmarth13@... [JoyofSatan666] <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

  Thanks magus! It’s really great your GD has been so supportive. None of the interactions with the gods that I have were positive. They’ve just been cruel. Granted i deserve it... it goes like this

I wake up to “there’s nobody”..etc
I cry, get angry, cuss and yell because that’s just uncalled for. And chances are i wasn’t even thinking/dreaming of relationships....
they deem that disrespectful, thus treating me like dirt
I cry more, the despair of being single forever takes hold as I hear them say “there’s/you’re nobody” and I cry and tell them to stop or I get angry and cuss at them
they deem that disrespectful and treat me like dirt
.....etc
Even when I y’all to them about it I hear “I don’t care”
IT WASNT ALWAYS LIKE THIS. A year ago I would have NEVER talked back to/cusses at a god!!!!! Everything has just escalated to this. I have tried so many times in the past to be respectful and to understand them. I’ve done so many working to do
So... and they were always just.. rude..

Like, all I want is support. I still want to be with an incubus. But they told me a while ago that “nobody wants me” and “they’ll never accept me” yes it’s them that said it, not the enemy. I would say ask Satan as proof..cause it’s true, but there aren’t mediators here.

I guarantee it’s 10000000% over with the incubus. We don’t even talk anymore.. And I seear on everything precious to me that he(or at least one Satanic god) hates me. I swear!!!! They’ve said it so many times. Ive had the enemy tell me shit and It’s not the same.

I am NOT going to stop doing warfare, or helping out when I can. But I know no matter how much I do for Satan, I’ll never be with an incubus again. Satan confirmed this to me.
I know deep down I’ll never be happy with another human (I don’t hate humanity obviously, I just wouldn’t be happy with another person) and it’s even hinted in my birth chart that an incubus might suit me better. But alas... it’s not going a happen.

I just can’t cope with this anymore.. I’ve developed this “it doesn’t matter since I’m not gonna be with an incubus anyway” mentality regarding my life and such. It just hurts, and nobody cares. Like my whole life...with this pain. It’s a whole lot to take in and it’s killing me slowly. I’ve ruined my changes of being with any incubus permanently.

As I type this I hear “nobody wants you” ...thanks I guess. I guess I didn’t hear it the last 40 times today.

 

[[email protected]]

Hey, Zel here. Nice to meet ya.
I get what you're saying. I hear our Gods speak this way about other Mages at times....I happen to be quite close with Father (at least, he visits and manifests almost 3x a week to me on avg). Let me tell you why: You believe this truly within yourself.
Now, I know it sounds harsh and uncharacteristic of the wonderful and powerfully kind beings we claim loyalty to, but get this... They show us our own selves. If you projection these feelings and accept it, then what other material does Satan have to go off of? If we truly believe our self to not be worth it, he's not gonna argue with us. Free will and all, you know?
We've gotta find a way to break your cycle. "There is always a way to do another thing", as He puts it.

So maybe there really is nobody for you, but maybe you don't even need it? What if this loneliness in your natal chart empowers you? I've found that such is similarly true in my own case, although thanks to my guardians, I am never truly alone. I have quite the opposite issue these days lol
Use their words l, whatever they are, to gain strength and empower yourself in spite of it all. Father didn't raise no quitter. You've got far more in you, I know it to be true. Hail Satan

 

[deepak raj1]

Know what can i do for joining. through your side i recived e-mail but i don't understant what is it . where i could begin or not ? 

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

On Fri, 2 Nov 2018 at 9:34 pm, uczwx333tplihijjuv3vhnga7l6na3lvlhleajd7@... [JoyofSatan666]<[email protected] wrote:   Hey, Zel here. Nice to meet ya.
I get what you're saying. I hear our Gods speak this way about other Mages at times....I happen to be quite close with Father (at least, he visits and manifests almost 3x a week to me on avg). Let me tell you why: You believe this truly within yourself.
Now, I know it sounds harsh and uncharacteristic of the wonderful and powerfully kind beings we claim loyalty to, but get this... They show us our own selves. If you projection these feelings and accept it, then what other material does Satan have to go off of? If we truly believe our self to not be worth it, he's not gonna argue with us. Free will and all, you know?
We've gotta find a way to break your cycle. "There is always a way to do another thing", as He puts it..

So maybe there really is nobody for you, but maybe you don't even need it? What if this loneliness in your natal chart empowers you? I've found that such is similarly true in my own case, although thanks to my guardians, I am never truly alone. I have quite the opposite issue these days lol
Use their words l, whatever they are, to gain strength and empower yourself in spite of it all. Father didn't raise no quitter. You've got far more in you, I know it to be true. Hail Satan

 

[Mikel Batsard]

Well, forgive me for not having the time to read this thread in full, but I've had a past with suicidal tendencies..If you're still "kicking" there's got to be some purpose in your life. Personally, I wouldn't consider ending my life prematurely unless I was in a gunfight for some reason, about to be bombarded or held captive and only had one bullet left. But I don't foresee anything of that nature happening in my life. I truly don't see suicide as a "cowards" way out, unless there was something said person could have done for themselves to get out of that situation.I hold firm that the spirit needs a body to experience things in this world to advance further, and ending it all prematurely; your soul doesn't advance enough to carry on in what is past this great "veil" we are experiencing.Just my two cents, I try not to use words such as "hope", but hopefully someone has already helped you better in response than I have with mine. I just know what I said in the first two sentences has really helped me over the years.. For metaphorical purposes, if you think of your "purpose", or potential as a seed that can be sprouted, it could just as easily be crushed beneath your foot (Though, through much pain if you Invision your potential as a macadamia nut, ouch!).One route just takes a lot more time, thus a lot more effort on your part, but ultimately you're the one to deem your own worth in this life that none of us can remember "asking for" ?May as well make the most of what you've got.

All I wanted was to be with an incubus. But he left me permanently (I’ve... grown to hate him, as he hates me too.) Now I’ll never get a second chance with another incubus....it’s been a whole year and I hear nothing supportive at all. I only hear that I’m crazy and I’m a bitch...etc when I’m reallity I’m just severely lonely. It’s even on my birth chart how bad this loneliness gets.

I will NEVER accept a relationship with another human. No exceptions. I know it sounds stupid, but I won’t. Therefore, I’ve accepted I will never be in a relationship ever again. OBVIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE FOCUS IN SATANISM!!!! I know!!!!!! But knowing that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life (I give it another 3 years before I end it)

I get called pathetic, crazy worthless, useless....etc this is coming FROM THE GODS, not the enemy.. So it must be true.. I have no support from any powers of hell. Meditation has become difficult and I can’t even do it properly... I’m just too fucking sad to put effort anymore...

I just really want to die. Do you all think I should? If I live, I’m going to be single and (currently a virgin, so celibate) for the rest of my life. This kills me inside. And the gods just... don’t give a fuck. They say I’m worthless. I’m in severe emotional and mental pain 24/7. And when they say “there’s nobody” to me, I loose it and start yelling at them and crying.

I’m just... idk what to do.

On Oct 24, 2018 10:11 AM, "jenmarth13@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

  I feel like I don’t want to live anymore. I work on myself physically and spiritually, contribute to the community, do warfare everyday but it’s never enough. Satan just doesn’t care.

First of all, I’m 100% sure I’m not a Jew. If I die, and decide to stay on the astral and have my soul dissipate, would that be possible? I really don’t want to live another life with this.

I’m normally supportive of people who have this problem... but my situation cannot be solved with a meditation working!!! Long story short, last year I entered a relationship with an incubus (my biggest regret) and it failed. I was doing copious amounts of warfare, got attacked HORRIBLY and CONSTANTLY!!! Leaving me in the worst position I’ve been EVER! Needles to say my then incubus got fed up with me. He said he hated me and I knew it was over.

Fast forward to now, I’m crying and yelling at Satan and a god(s??) because I keep hearing them say “there’s nobody” “there’s nothing for you” “you will never [be with an incunis]” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It makes me angry and cry for hours.. I’m fed up.

All I wanted was to be with an incubus. But he left me permanently (I’ve... grown to hate him, as he hates me too.) Now I’ll never get a second chance with another incubus....it’s been a whole year and I hear nothing supportive at all. I only hear that I’m crazy and I’m a bitch...etc when I’m reallity I’m just severely lonely. It’s even on my birth chart how bad this loneliness gets.

I will NEVER accept a relationship with another human. No exceptions. I know it sounds stupid, but I won’t. Therefore, I’ve accepted I will never be in a relationship ever again. OBVIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE FOCUS IN SATANISM!!!! I know!!!!!! But knowing that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life (I give it another 3 years before I end it)

I get called pathetic, crazy worthless, useless....etc this is coming FROM THE GODS, not the enemy. So it must be true.. I have no support from any powers of hell. Meditation has become difficult and I can’t even do it properly... I’m just too fucking sad to put effort anymore...

I just really want to die. Do you all think I should? If I live, I’m going to be single and (currently a virgin, so celibate) for the rest of my life. This kills me inside. And the gods just... don’t give a fuck. They say I’m worthless. I’m in severe emotional and mental pain 24/7. And when they say “there’s nobody” to me, I loose it and start yelling at them and crying.

I’m just... idk what to do.