jenmarth13
New member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2009
- Messages
- 0
I feel like I don’t want to live anymore. I work on myself physically and spiritually, contribute to the community, do warfare everyday but it’s never enough. Satan just doesn’t care.
First of all, I’m 100% sure I’m not a Jew. If I die, and decide to stay on the astral and have my soul dissipate, would that be possible? I really don’t want to live another life with this.
I’m normally supportive of people who have this problem... but my situation cannot be solved with a meditation working!!! Long story short, last year I entered a relationship with an incubus (my biggest regret) and it failed. I was doing copious amounts of warfare, got attacked HORRIBLY and CONSTANTLY!!! Leaving me in the worst position I’ve been EVER! Needles to say my then incubus got fed up with me. He said he hated me and I knew it was over.
Fast forward to now, I’m crying and yelling at Satan and a god(s??) because I keep hearing them say “there’s nobody” “there’s nothing for you” “you will never [be with an incunis]” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It makes me angry and cry for hours.. I’m fed up.
All I wanted was to be with an incubus. But he left me permanently (I’ve... grown to hate him, as he hates me too.) Now I’ll never get a second chance with another incubus....it’s been a whole year and I hear nothing supportive at all. I only hear that I’m crazy and I’m a bitch...etc when I’m reallity I’m just severely lonely. It’s even on my birth chart how bad this loneliness gets.
I will NEVER accept a relationship with another human. No exceptions. I know it sounds stupid, but I won’t. Therefore, I’ve accepted I will never be in a relationship ever again. OBVIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE FOCUS IN SATANISM!!!! I know!!!!!! But knowing that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life (I give it another 3 years before I end it)
I get called pathetic, crazy worthless, useless....etc this is coming FROM THE GODS, not the enemy. So it must be true.. I have no support from any powers of hell. Meditation has become difficult and I can’t even do it properly... I’m just too fucking sad to put effort anymore...
I just really want to die. Do you all think I should? If I live, I’m going to be single and (currently a virgin, so celibate) for the rest of my life. This kills me inside. And the gods just... don’t give a fuck. They say I’m worthless. I’m in severe emotional and mental pain 24/7. And when they say “there’s nobody” to me, I loose it and start yelling at them and crying.
I’m just... idk what to do.
First of all, I’m 100% sure I’m not a Jew. If I die, and decide to stay on the astral and have my soul dissipate, would that be possible? I really don’t want to live another life with this.
I’m normally supportive of people who have this problem... but my situation cannot be solved with a meditation working!!! Long story short, last year I entered a relationship with an incubus (my biggest regret) and it failed. I was doing copious amounts of warfare, got attacked HORRIBLY and CONSTANTLY!!! Leaving me in the worst position I’ve been EVER! Needles to say my then incubus got fed up with me. He said he hated me and I knew it was over.
Fast forward to now, I’m crying and yelling at Satan and a god(s??) because I keep hearing them say “there’s nobody” “there’s nothing for you” “you will never [be with an incunis]” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It makes me angry and cry for hours.. I’m fed up.
All I wanted was to be with an incubus. But he left me permanently (I’ve... grown to hate him, as he hates me too.) Now I’ll never get a second chance with another incubus....it’s been a whole year and I hear nothing supportive at all. I only hear that I’m crazy and I’m a bitch...etc when I’m reallity I’m just severely lonely. It’s even on my birth chart how bad this loneliness gets.
I will NEVER accept a relationship with another human. No exceptions. I know it sounds stupid, but I won’t. Therefore, I’ve accepted I will never be in a relationship ever again. OBVIOUSLY A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT THE FOCUS IN SATANISM!!!! I know!!!!!! But knowing that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life (I give it another 3 years before I end it)
I get called pathetic, crazy worthless, useless....etc this is coming FROM THE GODS, not the enemy. So it must be true.. I have no support from any powers of hell. Meditation has become difficult and I can’t even do it properly... I’m just too fucking sad to put effort anymore...
I just really want to die. Do you all think I should? If I live, I’m going to be single and (currently a virgin, so celibate) for the rest of my life. This kills me inside. And the gods just... don’t give a fuck. They say I’m worthless. I’m in severe emotional and mental pain 24/7. And when they say “there’s nobody” to me, I loose it and start yelling at them and crying.
I’m just... idk what to do.