I REALLY want to dedicate BUT...

[l3bekk]

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[the_fire_starter666]

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@... wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[l3bekk]

You make it sound like it so incredibly easy, it's not, and I'm not trying to hinder myself from dedicating or maintaining some kind of negative mindset, I am trying. I'm just trying to be careful and smart about it. Yes in a way I need to stop second guessing and "just do it" but I KNOW That due to some circumstances I just can't simply do things only because of the household I live in and don't want to get caught doing anything satanic. I know I said somewhere that I'm not afraid anymore, so therefore I WANT to dedicate and my mindset is on satanism, my emotions and mindset is in favor on going forward, but in the physical reality, I have to be careful in the way I go about it, devoted nosy xian mother, sisters always invading my space, so I have to find more convenient times to do do such things. I have to always becareful, my mom found my candles that I've hidden away in my room and told me that she hoped that I know that the colors are associated with haitian voodoo, my dad almost without asking, picked up my black book and I had to quickly avert his interest away from it. I don't think you understand, I'm not trying to second guess anything, I just want to be real careful about how I go about with satanism and really want to do it. I agree it's not satan to make it easier or harder, but my mental attitude, but truth is I've already made it a mission to become a dedicated satanists and I have to let it sink in deeply that most of the things I have to discover on my own in my own efforts. Satan only comes in when there is something that I have no complete control over or just can't handle, I understand, sorry for that. I just feel like, knowing the type of people I live with and circumstances that I know I can't just do it like that, if I dedicate in my room at night in the closet or whatever, how do I know my sister is not listening? Or wakes up iand sees me? my closet doesnt even have a door anymore and is a bit crowded. She is a light sleeper and often have problems sleeping so sometimes she wakes up a couple times during the night. On my bed? Out of the question she will see me. Dedicate in the bathroom? I really can't unless I want someone to walk in on me? Kitchen? Same thing. It's the circumstances that are stopping me, not me. I have to wait for appropriate times to do it, such as if my mom goes off to church or goes somewhere and my dad is at work, I can freely use her room, and my sisters just simply stays in the room because they just do that, I can do it, but sometimes this doesn't always happen, like I said, you don't understand the circumstances I'm in and that my mindset is set on dedicating and satanism.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_fire_starter666" <the_fire_starter666@... wrote:

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@ wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[the_fire_starter666]

Oh believe me, it's really easy. You are just making it hard with your thinking and weird conditions you place upon the ritual. First of all, sure if your house is too crowded, why not do it in your astral temple temporarily???It's just as the same. See, that's a weird condition you put up, if you really want to do the ritual then you'll have no problem doing it astrally. One thing I know people who want to really do something, they don't put conditions in it nor do they try to do perfectly.

You can also go somewhere outside and do it. Then you can wait until everyone leaves and do the ritual then, but that means you shouldn't worry about it until you do the ritual. That's what you're doing, you're worrying needlessly and thinking too much about the ritual. If you can do the ritual now, do it. If you can't, you can't really do anything about it until the opportunity comes so why worry and think about it all the time when you can do more productive things?? For sure, if you think about the ritual too much, not only it will not come sooner, but most likely you'll never do it at all. When I did my dedication ritual 6 years ago I too was living with my parents and I knew I had to do it when they left. I didn't think about the ritual at all in the meanwhile, so more to make an entire post about this in the groups. When the time came and my parents left, I just did it without second thought.

Then there's the other problem that if you trying to be too careful, your parents obviously can sense that there's something weird with you or that you're hiding something and you'll probably do some mistake. ESPECIALLY parents are notorious in doing this.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@... wrote:


You make it sound like it so incredibly easy, it's not, and I'm not trying to hinder myself from dedicating or maintaining some kind of negative mindset, I am trying. I'm just trying to be careful and smart about it. Yes in a way I need to stop second guessing and "just do it" but I KNOW That due to some circumstances I just can't simply do things only because of the household I live in and don't want to get caught doing anything satanic. I know I said somewhere that I'm not afraid anymore, so therefore I WANT to dedicate and my mindset is on satanism, my emotions and mindset is in favor on going forward, but in the physical reality, I have to be careful in the way I go about it, devoted nosy xian mother, sisters always invading my space, so I have to find more convenient times to do do such things. I have to always becareful, my mom found my candles that I've hidden away in my room and told me that she hoped that I know that the colors are associated with haitian voodoo, my dad almost without asking, picked up my black book and I had to quickly avert his interest away from it. I don't think you understand, I'm not trying to second guess anything, I just want to be real careful about how I go about with satanism and really want to do it. I agree it's not satan to make it easier or harder, but my mental attitude, but truth is I've already made it a mission to become a dedicated satanists and I have to let it sink in deeply that most of the things I have to discover on my own in my own efforts. Satan only comes in when there is something that I have no complete control over or just can't handle, I understand, sorry for that. I just feel like, knowing the type of people I live with and circumstances that I know I can't just do it like that, if I dedicate in my room at night in the closet or whatever, how do I know my sister is not listening? Or wakes up iand sees me? my closet doesnt even have a door anymore and is a bit crowded. She is a light sleeper and often have problems sleeping so sometimes she wakes up a couple times during the night. On my bed? Out of the question she will see me. Dedicate in the bathroom? I really can't unless I want someone to walk in on me? Kitchen? Same thing. It's the circumstances that are stopping me, not me. I have to wait for appropriate times to do it, such as if my mom goes off to church or goes somewhere and my dad is at work, I can freely use her room, and my sisters just simply stays in the room because they just do that, I can do it, but sometimes this doesn't always happen, like I said, you don't understand the circumstances I'm in and that my mindset is set on dedicating and satanism.
--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_fire_starter666" <the_fire_starter666@ wrote:

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@ wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[Don Danko]

Dedicate, build an aura of protection around yourself that also has programming to safely allow you space from your snoopy family. And don't leave an evidence trail around your house.  Most of this is simply your stream of  fear based consciousness that is undermining you from action. You will have to figure this out. Ask Satan and Hell for help with it. How hard is to get a card some paper and a sharp object? Find a place do the dedication then chuck the candle. Don't leave ritual items around then, don't even have any. And focus on meditations programs which you can read online just delete your history or use another computer. It leaves no physical evidence. Ritual items are nothing but symbols of cosmology of creation, anyway its no big deal. People should evolve out of the prop based mind set. And leave it for Wiccans. Your physical being is the ritual chamber and your daily ritual, power meditations which empower the light of the soul.
From: l3bekk <l3bekk@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2013 1:37:55 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I REALLY want to dedicate BUT...
 
You make it sound like it so incredibly easy, it's not, and I'm not trying to hinder myself from dedicating or maintaining some kind of negative mindset, I am trying. I'm just trying to be careful and smart about it. Yes in a way I need to stop second guessing and "just do it" but I KNOW That due to some circumstances I just can't simply do things only because of the household I live in and don't want to get caught doing anything satanic. I know I said somewhere that I'm not afraid anymore, so therefore I WANT to dedicate and my mindset is on satanism, my emotions and mindset is in favor on going forward, but in the physical reality, I have to be careful in the way I go about it, devoted nosy xian mother, sisters always invading my space, so I have to find more convenient times to do do such things. I have to always becareful, my mom found my candles that I've hidden away in my room and told me that she hoped that I know that the colors are associated with haitian voodoo, my dad almost without asking, picked up my black book and I had to quickly avert his interest away from it. I don't think you understand, I'm not trying to second guess anything, I just want to be real careful about how I go about with satanism and really want to do it. I agree it's not satan to make it easier or harder, but my mental attitude, but truth is I've already made it a mission to become a dedicated satanists and I have to let it sink in deeply that most of the things I have to discover on my own in my own efforts. Satan only comes in when there is something that I have no complete control over or just can't handle, I understand, sorry for that. I just feel like, knowing the type of people I live with and circumstances that I know I can't just do it like that, if I dedicate in my room at night in the closet or whatever, how do I know my sister is not listening? Or wakes up iand sees me? my closet doesnt even have a door anymore and is a bit crowded. She is a light sleeper and often have problems sleeping so sometimes she wakes up a couple times during the night. On my bed? Out of the question she will see me. Dedicate in the bathroom? I really can't unless I want someone to walk in on me? Kitchen? Same thing. It's the circumstances that are stopping me, not me. I have to wait for appropriate times to do it, such as if my mom goes off to church or goes somewhere and my dad is at work, I can freely use her room, and my sisters just simply stays in the room because they just do that, I can do it, but sometimes this doesn't always happen, like I said, you don't understand the circumstances I'm in and that my mindset is set on dedicating and satanism.

--- [/IMG][email protected], "the_fire_starter666" <the_fire_starter666@... wrote:

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.

--- [/IMG][email protected], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@ wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[Shannon Outlaw]

I love the way you talk HP Don. nicely said.




------------------------------

On Sun, Aug 11, 2013 3:17 PM PDT Don Danko wrote:

Dedicate, build an aura of protection around yourself that also has programming to safely allow you space from your snoopy family. And don't leave an evidence trail around your house.
 
Most of this is simply your stream of  fear based consciousness that is undermining you from action. You will have to figure this out. Ask Satan and Hell for help with it. How hard is to get a card some paper and a sharp object? Find a place do the dedication then chuck the candle. Don't leave ritual items around then, don't even have any. And focus on meditations programs which you can read online just delete your history or use another computer. It leaves no physical evidence.
 
Ritual items are nothing but symbols of cosmology of creation, anyway its no big deal. People should evolve out of the prop based mind set. And leave it for Wiccans. Your physical being is the ritual chamber and your daily ritual, power meditations which empower the light of the soul.


________________________________
From: l3bekk <l3bekk@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2013 1:37:55 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I REALLY want to dedicate BUT...

 


You make it sound like it so incredibly easy, it's not, and I'm not trying to hinder myself from dedicating or maintaining some kind of negative mindset, I am trying. I'm just trying to be careful and smart about it. Yes in a way I need to stop second guessing and "just do it" but I KNOW That due to some circumstances I just can't simply do things only because of the household I live in and don't want to get caught doing anything satanic. I know I said somewhere that I'm not afraid anymore, so therefore I WANT to dedicate and my mindset is on satanism, my emotions and mindset is in favor on going forward, but in the physical reality, I have to be careful in the way I go about it, devoted nosy xian mother, sisters always invading my space, so I have to find more convenient times to do do such things. I have to always becareful, my mom found my candles that I've hidden away in my room and told me that she hoped that I know that the colors are associated
with haitian voodoo, my dad almost without asking, picked up my black book and I had to quickly avert his interest away from it. I don't think you understand, I'm not trying to second guess anything, I just want to be real careful about how I go about with satanism and really want to do it. I agree it's not satan to make it easier or harder, but my mental attitude, but truth is I've already made it a mission to become a dedicated satanists and I have to let it sink in deeply that most of the things I have to discover on my own in my own efforts. Satan only comes in when there is something that I have no complete control over or just can't handle, I understand, sorry for that. I just feel like, knowing the type of people I live with and circumstances that I know I can't just do it like that, if I dedicate in my room at night in the closet or whatever, how do I know my sister is not listening? Or wakes up iand sees me? my closet doesnt even have a door
anymore and is a bit crowded. She is a light sleeper and often have problems sleeping so sometimes she wakes up a couple times during the night. On my bed? Out of the question she will see me. Dedicate in the bathroom? I really can't unless I want someone to walk in on me? Kitchen? Same thing. It's the circumstances that are stopping me, not me. I have to wait for appropriate times to do it, such as if my mom goes off to church or goes somewhere and my dad is at work, I can freely use her room, and my sisters just simply stays in the room because they just do that, I can do it, but sometimes this doesn't always happen, like I said, you don't understand the circumstances I'm in and that my mindset is set on dedicating and satanism.
--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_fire_starter666" <the_fire_starter666@... wrote:

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@ wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[l3bekk]

OMG... I'm not scared to do it at all anymore...I've said that.. I have no fear or doubts about dedicating. And I do have all the materials.... I just need to find the right time to do it, ill do the aura of protection, and I don't carelessly leave my satanic items around just so you all would know... I was just wondering if you all could give me some suggestions... I don't like that I'm being told that I'm afraid and careless, I know I'm not, the only problem is I live in a home that is usually a full house , I no longer have the house to myself since my mom lost her job and my sis didn't go off to college. Thank you Don, I will ask Satan for help. But really I'm not afraid, that is not what stopping me, but since I have the tendency to word out what I mean vaguely and get misunderstood, I won't post anymore about dedication until I've successfully done it, I WILL DO IT, and I'm so focused on and looking forward to it. Your last paragraph I will definitely need to bear in mind because I haven't really thought about it like that so I thank you for that as well.

Lagrèl Satan!!!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@... wrote:


I love the way you talk HP Don. nicely said.




------------------------------
On Sun, Aug 11, 2013 3:17 PM PDT Don Danko wrote:

Dedicate, build an aura of protection around yourself that also has programming to safely allow you space from your snoopy family. And don't leave an evidence trail around your house.
 
Most of this is simply your stream of  fear based consciousness that is undermining you from action. You will have to figure this out. Ask Satan and Hell for help with it. How hard is to get a card some paper and a sharp object? Find a place do the dedication then chuck the candle. Don't leave ritual items around then, don't even have any. And focus on meditations programs which you can read online just delete your history or use another computer. It leaves no physical evidence.
 
Ritual items are nothing but symbols of cosmology of creation, anyway its no big deal. People should evolve out of the prop based mind set. And leave it for Wiccans. Your physical being is the ritual chamber and your daily ritual, power meditations which empower the light of the soul.


________________________________
From: l3bekk <l3bekk@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2013 1:37:55 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I REALLY want to dedicate BUT...

 


You make it sound like it so incredibly easy, it's not, and I'm not trying to hinder myself from dedicating or maintaining some kind of negative mindset, I am trying. I'm just trying to be careful and smart about it. Yes in a way I need to stop second guessing and "just do it" but I KNOW That due to some circumstances I just can't simply do things only because of the household I live in and don't want to get caught doing anything satanic. I know I said somewhere that I'm not afraid anymore, so therefore I WANT to dedicate and my mindset is on satanism, my emotions and mindset is in favor on going forward, but in the physical reality, I have to be careful in the way I go about it, devoted nosy xian mother, sisters always invading my space, so I have to find more convenient times to do do such things. I have to always becareful, my mom found my candles that I've hidden away in my room and told me that she hoped that I know that the colors are associated
with haitian voodoo, my dad almost without asking, picked up my black book and I had to quickly avert his interest away from it. I don't think you understand, I'm not trying to second guess anything, I just want to be real careful about how I go about with satanism and really want to do it. I agree it's not satan to make it easier or harder, but my mental attitude, but truth is I've already made it a mission to become a dedicated satanists and I have to let it sink in deeply that most of the things I have to discover on my own in my own efforts. Satan only comes in when there is something that I have no complete control over or just can't handle, I understand, sorry for that. I just feel like, knowing the type of people I live with and circumstances that I know I can't just do it like that, if I dedicate in my room at night in the closet or whatever, how do I know my sister is not listening? Or wakes up iand sees me? my closet doesnt even have a door
anymore and is a bit crowded. She is a light sleeper and often have problems sleeping so sometimes she wakes up a couple times during the night. On my bed? Out of the question she will see me. Dedicate in the bathroom? I really can't unless I want someone to walk in on me? Kitchen? Same thing. It's the circumstances that are stopping me, not me. I have to wait for appropriate times to do it, such as if my mom goes off to church or goes somewhere and my dad is at work, I can freely use her room, and my sisters just simply stays in the room because they just do that, I can do it, but sometimes this doesn't always happen, like I said, you don't understand the circumstances I'm in and that my mindset is set on dedicating and satanism.
--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_fire_starter666" <the_fire_starter666@ wrote:

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@ wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[Allison P]

Um, bekk, can't you, like get away somewheres? I mean, to do the
ritual? You can do it out of doors, away from all of your xian family.
surely there is some place in your town where you can be somewhat
alone, at least for a while and not have your family walk in on you.

On 8/11/13, l3bekk <l3bekk@... wrote:
OMG... I'm not scared to do it at all anymore...I've said that.. I have no
fear or doubts about dedicating. And I do have all the materials.... I just
need to find the right time to do it, ill do the aura of protection, and I
don't carelessly leave my satanic items around just so you all would know...
I was just wondering if you all could give me some suggestions... I don't
like that I'm being told that I'm afraid and careless, I know I'm not, the
only problem is I live in a home that is usually a full house , I no longer
have the house to myself since my mom lost her job and my sis didn't go off
to college. Thank you Don, I will ask Satan for help. But really I'm not
afraid, that is not what stopping me, but since I have the tendency to word
out what I mean vaguely and get misunderstood, I won't post anymore about
dedication until I've successfully done it, I WILL DO IT, and I'm so focused
on and looking forward to it. Your last paragraph I will definitely need to
bear in mind because I haven't really thought about it like that so I thank
you for that as well.

Lagrèl Satan!!!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@... wrote:


I love the way you talk HP Don. nicely said.




------------------------------
On Sun, Aug 11, 2013 3:17 PM PDT Don Danko wrote:

Dedicate, build an aura of protection around yourself that also has
programming to safely allow you space from your snoopy family. And don't
leave an evidence trail around your house.

Most of this is simply your stream of  fear based consciousness that is
undermining you from action. You will have to figure this out. Ask Satan
and Hell for help with it. How hard is to get a card some paper and a
sharp object? Find a place do the dedication then chuck the candle.
Don't leave ritual items around then, don't even have any. And focus on
meditations programs which you can read online just delete your history
or use another computer. It leaves no physical evidence.

Ritual items are nothing but symbols of cosmology of creation, anyway its
no big deal. People should evolve out of the prop based mind set. And
leave it for Wiccans. Your physical being is the ritual chamber and your
daily ritual, power meditations which empower the light of the soul.


________________________________
From: l3bekk <l3bekk@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2013 1:37:55 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I REALLY want to dedicate BUT...




You make it sound like it so incredibly easy, it's not, and I'm not
trying to hinder myself from dedicating or maintaining some kind of
negative mindset, I am trying. I'm just trying to be careful and smart
about it. Yes in a way I need to stop second guessing and "just do it"
but I KNOW That due to some circumstances I just can't simply do things
only because of the household I live in and don't want to get caught
doing anything satanic. I know I said somewhere that I'm not afraid
anymore, so therefore I WANT to dedicate and my mindset is on satanism,
my emotions and mindset is in favor on going forward, but in the
physical reality, I have to be careful in the way I go about it, devoted
nosy xian mother, sisters always invading my space, so I have to find
more convenient times to do do such things. I have to always becareful,
my mom found my candles that I've hidden away in my room and told me
that she hoped that I know that the colors are associated
with haitian voodoo, my dad almost without asking, picked up my black
book and I had to quickly avert his interest away from it. I don't think
you understand, I'm not trying to second guess anything, I just want to
be real careful about how I go about with satanism and really want to do
it. I agree it's not satan to make it easier or harder, but my mental
attitude, but truth is I've already made it a mission to become a
dedicated satanists and I have to let it sink in deeply that most of the
things I have to discover on my own in my own efforts. Satan only comes
in when there is something that I have no complete control over or just
can't handle, I understand, sorry for that. I just feel like, knowing
the type of people I live with and circumstances that I know I can't
just do it like that, if I dedicate in my room at night in the closet or
whatever, how do I know my sister is not listening? Or wakes up iand
sees me? my closet doesnt even have a door
anymore and is a bit crowded. She is a light sleeper and often have
problems sleeping so sometimes she wakes up a couple times during the
night. On my bed? Out of the question she will see me. Dedicate in the
bathroom? I really can't unless I want someone to walk in on me?
Kitchen? Same thing. It's the circumstances that are stopping me, not
me. I have to wait for appropriate times to do it, such as if my mom
goes off to church or goes somewhere and my dad is at work, I can freely
use her room, and my sisters just simply stays in the room because they
just do that, I can do it, but sometimes this doesn't always happen,
like I said, you don't understand the circumstances I'm in and that my
mindset is set on dedicating and satanism.
--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_fire_starter666"
<the_fire_starter666@ wrote:

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with
dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are
thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a
decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to
do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void
meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present
and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or
harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do
to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on
your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and
just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and
keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the
solutions.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@ wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate
because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very
strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all
I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water
because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another
reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the
enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication
everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to
dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time
now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like
the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do
ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood
out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on
the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really
really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a
blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife,
I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I
just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually
behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past
and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me
now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my
mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them
to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen
on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I
had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want
to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and
making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true
god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be.
I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next
attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I
will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[call_me_something_else]

If he ever writes a book, I hope I can afford to buy it.

Hail Father Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@... wrote:


I love the way you talk HP Don. nicely said.




------------------------------
On Sun, Aug 11, 2013 3:17 PM PDT Don Danko wrote:

Dedicate, build an aura of protection around yourself that also has programming to safely allow you space from your snoopy family. And don't leave an evidence trail around your house.
 
Most of this is simply your stream of  fear based consciousness that is undermining you from action. You will have to figure this out. Ask Satan and Hell for help with it. How hard is to get a card some paper and a sharp object? Find a place do the dedication then chuck the candle. Don't leave ritual items around then, don't even have any. And focus on meditations programs which you can read online just delete your history or use another computer. It leaves no physical evidence.
 
Ritual items are nothing but symbols of cosmology of creation, anyway its no big deal. People should evolve out of the prop based mind set. And leave it for Wiccans. Your physical being is the ritual chamber and your daily ritual, power meditations which empower the light of the soul.


________________________________
From: l3bekk <l3bekk@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2013 1:37:55 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I REALLY want to dedicate BUT...

 


You make it sound like it so incredibly easy, it's not, and I'm not trying to hinder myself from dedicating or maintaining some kind of negative mindset, I am trying. I'm just trying to be careful and smart about it. Yes in a way I need to stop second guessing and "just do it" but I KNOW That due to some circumstances I just can't simply do things only because of the household I live in and don't want to get caught doing anything satanic. I know I said somewhere that I'm not afraid anymore, so therefore I WANT to dedicate and my mindset is on satanism, my emotions and mindset is in favor on going forward, but in the physical reality, I have to be careful in the way I go about it, devoted nosy xian mother, sisters always invading my space, so I have to find more convenient times to do do such things. I have to always becareful, my mom found my candles that I've hidden away in my room and told me that she hoped that I know that the colors are associated
with haitian voodoo, my dad almost without asking, picked up my black book and I had to quickly avert his interest away from it. I don't think you understand, I'm not trying to second guess anything, I just want to be real careful about how I go about with satanism and really want to do it. I agree it's not satan to make it easier or harder, but my mental attitude, but truth is I've already made it a mission to become a dedicated satanists and I have to let it sink in deeply that most of the things I have to discover on my own in my own efforts. Satan only comes in when there is something that I have no complete control over or just can't handle, I understand, sorry for that. I just feel like, knowing the type of people I live with and circumstances that I know I can't just do it like that, if I dedicate in my room at night in the closet or whatever, how do I know my sister is not listening? Or wakes up iand sees me? my closet doesnt even have a door
anymore and is a bit crowded. She is a light sleeper and often have problems sleeping so sometimes she wakes up a couple times during the night. On my bed? Out of the question she will see me. Dedicate in the bathroom? I really can't unless I want someone to walk in on me? Kitchen? Same thing. It's the circumstances that are stopping me, not me. I have to wait for appropriate times to do it, such as if my mom goes off to church or goes somewhere and my dad is at work, I can freely use her room, and my sisters just simply stays in the room because they just do that, I can do it, but sometimes this doesn't always happen, like I said, you don't understand the circumstances I'm in and that my mindset is set on dedicating and satanism.
--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_fire_starter666" <the_fire_starter666@ wrote:

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@ wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.

 

[hungryjohn59]

I've really got to thank all who posted on this thread.

Just this morning I posted a short message (not yet up) looking for answers to some similar problems. Although I am much older than most on here, I find myself going through a lot of the same privacy problems. Reading everyone's responses gave me some ideas.

Now to just find a way to make them work.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "call_me_something_else" <no.state@... wrote:

If he ever writes a book, I hope I can afford to buy it.

Hail Father Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@ wrote:


I love the way you talk HP Don. nicely said.




------------------------------
On Sun, Aug 11, 2013 3:17 PM PDT Don Danko wrote:

Dedicate, build an aura of protection around yourself that also has programming to safely allow you space from your snoopy family. And don't leave an evidence trail around your house.
 
Most of this is simply your stream of  fear based consciousness that is undermining you from action. You will have to figure this out. Ask Satan and Hell for help with it. How hard is to get a card some paper and a sharp object? Find a place do the dedication then chuck the candle. Don't leave ritual items around then, don't even have any. And focus on meditations programs which you can read online just delete your history or use another computer. It leaves no physical evidence.
 
Ritual items are nothing but symbols of cosmology of creation, anyway its no big deal. People should evolve out of the prop based mind set. And leave it for Wiccans. Your physical being is the ritual chamber and your daily ritual, power meditations which empower the light of the soul.


________________________________
From: l3bekk <l3bekk@
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2013 1:37:55 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I REALLY want to dedicate BUT...

 


You make it sound like it so incredibly easy, it's not, and I'm not trying to hinder myself from dedicating or maintaining some kind of negative mindset, I am trying. I'm just trying to be careful and smart about it. Yes in a way I need to stop second guessing and "just do it" but I KNOW That due to some circumstances I just can't simply do things only because of the household I live in and don't want to get caught doing anything satanic. I know I said somewhere that I'm not afraid anymore, so therefore I WANT to dedicate and my mindset is on satanism, my emotions and mindset is in favor on going forward, but in the physical reality, I have to be careful in the way I go about it, devoted nosy xian mother, sisters always invading my space, so I have to find more convenient times to do do such things. I have to always becareful, my mom found my candles that I've hidden away in my room and told me that she hoped that I know that the colors are associated
with haitian voodoo, my dad almost without asking, picked up my black book and I had to quickly avert his interest away from it. I don't think you understand, I'm not trying to second guess anything, I just want to be real careful about how I go about with satanism and really want to do it. I agree it's not satan to make it easier or harder, but my mental attitude, but truth is I've already made it a mission to become a dedicated satanists and I have to let it sink in deeply that most of the things I have to discover on my own in my own efforts. Satan only comes in when there is something that I have no complete control over or just can't handle, I understand, sorry for that. I just feel like, knowing the type of people I live with and circumstances that I know I can't just do it like that, if I dedicate in my room at night in the closet or whatever, how do I know my sister is not listening? Or wakes up iand sees me? my closet doesnt even have a door
anymore and is a bit crowded. She is a light sleeper and often have problems sleeping so sometimes she wakes up a couple times during the night. On my bed? Out of the question she will see me. Dedicate in the bathroom? I really can't unless I want someone to walk in on me? Kitchen? Same thing. It's the circumstances that are stopping me, not me. I have to wait for appropriate times to do it, such as if my mom goes off to church or goes somewhere and my dad is at work, I can freely use her room, and my sisters just simply stays in the room because they just do that, I can do it, but sometimes this doesn't always happen, like I said, you don't understand the circumstances I'm in and that my mindset is set on dedicating and satanism.
--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "the_fire_starter666" <the_fire_starter666@ wrote:

From what I read in your post, you really have no problems with dedicating and nothing stops you from doing that. It's just you are thinking too much about different things. Seriously, if you made a decision to dedicate, why keep second guessing it??If you decide NOT to do the dedication now, why keep worrying about it?? Some void meditation will help, it's better if you pay attention to the present and now instead of what may happen.

And I hope you realize it's not really Satan who makes it easier or harder to dedicate, but your own mental attitude. For things that we do to ourselves, we take responsibility. Just accept the fact that you on your own with your thinking make it easy or hard and stop thinking and just do it. It simply won't go away if you have the same thoughts and keep being undecided and focusing on the problems instead of the solutions.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "l3bekk" <l3bekk@ wrote:

I've been kind of doing meditations and all without being dedicate because I felt like I wasn't really ready and didn't feel like a very strong satanists. But now I'm coming to realize it isn't enough, all I'm doing now is not enough and I'm just sitting in boiling water because I'm probably pissing off the enemy which could be another reason why sometimes I get alot of emotional based attacks from the enemy.
It has come to a point where I literally think about dedication everyday and I'm up right now at 12:48 in the morning wanting to dedicate so bad, I've been thinking about it constantly for some time now, maybe a month. Initially I couldn't do it because I didn't like the thought of drawing my own blood. The first time I tried to do ritual I had a extremely hard time pricking my finger to draw blood out, I felt it prick a little but no blood.
It was really hard. Now, I don't even care, I read so much on the site and came to realize alot of things that I really really really want to dedicate, and if Im not able to get my hands on a blood lancet device, I'm eager enough to slit my finger with a knife, I love what satanism is about and want to fight against the enemy, I just hate the fact that I'm not dedicated yet and feel spiritually behind on where I could have or should have been.
Sometimes I wondered what religion I was affiliated in the past and who I was, past life regression is not even a priority for me now, I want to dedicate, and it's the only thing running through my mind 24/7. The only thing stopping me is my family, I don't want them to hear me or catch me while I'm doing the dedication, but I'm keen on always finding any opportunities to dedicate unlike before where I had opportunities but I let them slip because of mostly fear. I want to PHYSICALLY do the dedication so that I feel accomplished and making progress.
I'm not scared anymore though and realize that Satan is my true god and creator and that Satanism is the truth and where it is to be. I always ask that Satan could make it easier for me on my next attempt when I get the next chance/opportunity to dedicate and that I will not be hesitant and that enough blood will be drawn.

Hail Father Satan, Lord and Creator.