I need some help.

[Sigtyr21]

Ok so this might sounds crazy to alot of you, I am very disappointed in myself for letting it happen. Something has been going on with me, I think someone or something is trying to make me forget or lose focus on my objectives and learning. I am currently incarcerated and am an odinest. I've read and experimented with most of edred thorssons books, Steven Flowers. I have galdurd daily for years on and off. About 4 years ago I came to a standstill. Idk what happened and I was raised Christian so all my false learning had me thinking that satanism is bad or evil and I did not connect it with odinism at first and everything that was happening I did not understand what was going on. Later on I realized from reading Kundalini book of living and dying masks of Odin and finally getting the nine doors to midgard curriculum I was able to put a bunch of stuff together one being somehow for some reason all the time I spent galduring ended up building a negative power for the murk runes rather than the bright runes. Everything I do seems to hit a brick wall. I joined the spiritual Satanist group on telegram but it's like every time I tried to get into anything I'd end up getting sidetracked forget what I learned or where I was or what I was doing or just get lazy or sloth like and I didn't understand why. I felt like somebody was trying to take over in my head in my mind change my memories change my thoughts what I believed to be right and wrong completely switched it was a lot more too than I'm probably forgetting the whole room would go like pressurized and then I would hear just one certain entity talking to me trying to communicate with me and other ones like flying around whatever Force they had around trying to yell nooo I thought that was maybe my sister that passed away. Thinking I was going to sell my soul or something I don't know thinking it was bad I don't know I was confused though. I finally found this website and read through most of the magical and ritual stuff and so much as revealed itself that makes me understand but I'm still confused with so much. Somebody help me understand thank you.

 

[WoadWarrior]

Firstly welcome brother,
Secondly we do not have a telegram group, any telegram group you are or have been a part of is not in any way affiliated with us and is more than likely a honeypot designed to destabilize your spiritually and regress your development, this is our main site: https://joyofsatan.org/ in it you will find everything you need to get the basics of Theology, Spirituality and the world around you.

It sounds to me you need to ground yourself, in order to emotionally stabilize I suggest Void meditation, you will find this under the meditation section of the Joy of Satanas and to start your real spiritual journey with this guide: https://satanslibrary.org/hp_hooded_cobra_40_day_meditation_program.pdf at some point you will want to dedicate your soul to Satan formally as only under his protection can you be safe from the sort of entities that will attack you like you experienced, these experiences will not go away the enemy is trying to destroy you mentally so that you do no spiritually develop, your natural talents make you a target, but once dedicated and on the meditation program you will be able to gain control over your life and develop real power.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

odinest

Read here:

Satanas Or Wodanaz – The Origins of Odin

satanism is bad or evil

Read here:

Spiritual Satanism

I did not connect it with odinism

Read here:

Teaching Real Odinism to the... (((Odinists)))

Teaching Real Odinism to the... (((Odinists))) : JoyofSatan666 The BIGGEST *LIE* about White religions is the spoken and judaic 'fact' that somehow, all White people didn't really practice spirituality, or that their spirituality was not legit or largely practiced, or things along these...

ancient-forums.com

getting the nine doors to midgard curriculum

I don't know what this stuff is, try to get a good spiritual status regardless of whatever weird curriculum you got who knows where:

The Ranks Of Humans, Demons & Gods

Soon, the most major task of updating the Joy of Satan Gods & Demons Section [will be renamed], will begin. Currently, the Joy of Satan Dedication Ritual has received the following updates: Prayer, FAQ expanded, visuals. The Dedication Ritual has been updated, to illustrate where you are going...

ancient-forums.com

joined the spiritual Satanist group on telegram

Read here:

Drama: JoS Is Not Responsible For External Drama - Remain SAFE [Updated]

Precisely. Also, everyone should keep in mind that the forums are open and people can share anything with the SS community. Generally 99/100 trolls or those who have ill will, will try to sell people a story on why it's necessary for things to happen outside the JoS and away from the eyes of...

ancient-forums.com

I'd end up getting sidetracked forget what I learned or where I was or what I was doing or just get lazy or sloth like and I didn't understand why.

Read here:

For Those Who are New to Spiritual Satanism

change my thoughts

Read here:

FREE THOUGHT

And here:

Thinking for Yourself

Thinking I was going to sell my soul

Read this reply:

I am selling my soul

I am selling my soul, I am already going to hell so I don't give a fuck I give to Satan my soul in exchange to get revenge and massacre my enemies, to be alone in the world and isolated and alone from every person, to get a really high power and moneys. When I go to hell I don't want to suffer...

ancient-forums.com

 

[Viego]

Stay away of any groups that are not directed by Jos and its Clergy, those can be very dangerous and it's not to play with, keep your identity secret and safe , you've got all the information's that you need in here on the forum.

I also recommend reading this: https://satanisgod.org/NoMediators.html