StrivingBlitz
New member
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2021
- Messages
- 9
Hey... let me get straigt to the point with a quick summary. I will probably write later more in detail or email hphc.
Sorry for not writing in the beginner question thread but its a serious problem, I fcked up bad and I'm desperate to get fast answers from higher members.
About me, I seaked for truth with a pure heart since I got out of the teen phase. After discovering how much shit goes on in this world and that everything is upside down, it took still quite a while to flip the last coin, jewsus. Took me sooo long to recognize that I forgot to flip this last obvious coin.... Anyway, I was never religious, just a family which throws hard and many "blesssing".
Unfortunatly after I started to grasp what the foundation of this universe is and how it works. Vibrations, duality, how our will functions etc. psychodelics crossed my way. So I followed my nature and tried to dive deep in my psyche. Anyway I will talk later more about the shit I've done but for now lets make it quick. (I will not promote this shit, everyone who found JoS should stay with it, you dont need anything else)
Before JoS I tried to get a succubus with the "letter method" from the web. Just 1 for ever and not a harem.
Tried to interact, saw swirling colors, felt the entity. (still never meditated before but the whole proces with "it" was like meditating and started advancing).
Interacted everytime on lsd. I knew I had to control my will, I thought I did, in reality I didnt..
After a while it started to feel like it is more than one? So I thought it was strange but I wanted to progress.
One day I discovered trance by intuition, didnt had any knowledge from JoS, the falling sensation felt just right so I focused upon it and fell into the deeeeepest pit and that all while having the intention to let "her" connect with me.
Now I know it was the enemy but not back then and here lies the problem..So first time in trance, deepist pit, with the enemy.. haha.. I know...
First, I blacked out? Than my consciousness came back up from a HUGE and deep pain like a truck entering my brain. My body moved from the pain, upper half sliding down from the bed, hanging head down like a towel. Dont know how long or fast. But I remember correctly that I saw this whole situation.. from an observer perspective? I got angry, snapped and "woke up" in the position I said before.
The next days I woke up from unreal nightmares. One stuck particular, I levitated straight like a candle and something draged me infront of my mirror and chocked me. But I could only see myself levitating paralysed. I tried to scream I BANISH YOU but I couldnt open my mouth. In panic I tried again and again while each time more letters slip my mouth and finally I wake up with a scream I BASNISH YOU. In others I just got called Satans cunt etc. will not go into them.
To add:
I kept the last intact piece from the burned letter (dont know why)
While I was interacting with this thing I maybe was too creative mith my visualization lol, tried to visualize the whole thing infront of me in 3d space with open eyes.. did I created a thoughtform? Probably not but I gave this thing definitive too much energy.
Somewhere in between I found JoS but didnt looked into it further (stupid me).
I had enough and started studying JoS. Dedication, was about 2 months ago. Right before the dedication I layed the piece from the letter on a paper drew a circle and vibrated a banishing mantra a few times and putted it on top of my closet.
After dedication I felt like a donkey who finally found the oasis after a journay which lasted as long as I can think straight :lol:
And swore to our Father to abandon these fcking drugs and I did.
No nightmares anymore.
I do every day the standard mediations, I opened my chakras, I can easily inhale energy with my whole body do ha yoga.
I actually feel I advance a bit too fast.. my head feels a bit too much under pressure. Sometimes after or while a good long mediation the light before my 3rd eye starts to flicker like someone is turning the light on and off in highspeed (I hope thats not bad).
I felt awesome these 2 months, so it came again into my mind to do the succubus ritual but this time with the real one lol.
So I did it.. My first ritual after the dedication, the energy felt awesome.
I was 3 nights with her so far, didnt felt strange.. I think? Just a bit ptsd but blocked these thoughts instantly out lol.
Around 4am suddenly I wake up spooked and paralyzed, while the body feels under heavy pressure, panicking, shouting for our Father but my mouth doesnt move, next shout few letters, next shout SATAN, everything ended instantly.
The feeling... nooo not again, and this time it was an even heavier feeling. This upcoming day I tried to not tune my mind into my new wife.
(maybe Father didnt granted my wish because I'm not ready enough? did I fed the last 3 days again the enemy?)
Did more protection and cleaning this day. Next night, again.... I wake up paralyzed, this time I was instantly ready, but the pressure on my body was WAY higher, this absolut cold high pressure... I try to move some finger, body parts, while withstanding this disgusting pressure, feeling like a rusty robot I managed to turn my head to burn this fcker with blue flames,
but everything I "see" I like a confused vortex or so pointing at me. I think it looked like that, I couldnt really see it. And while turning my head at it the pressure got higher and higher AND additionaly I heard like storm wind blasting at me extremly loud. I was not ready for this. It was the first time that I actually heard something but I didnt worked on my clairaudience. And SOO loud blasting at me with high pressure on my body, all that happened just in few seconds. I couldnt stand it... I had to call again for Father.. (everytime I didnt felt really awake, was my consciousness at these times at my female astral part? would like to know)
After that I started instantly to clean me and the room with blue flames but I still felt his presence, so I had to tune my head to Father to get rid of the cold presence but everytime I stoped thinking about Satan I felt under attack. Everytime when I turned my focus at this fcker to burn it, the pressure and cold kicked in. We need to cut the attention but I havet o give it in order to burn it :? I noticed that the pressure got higher when I focused the paper on my closet. What can I do with it?
So yeah... since eng is not my naitive language, the text took too long and its already night. While I type I feel this fcker around me... I'm exhausted... pls help me.
Hail Satan!
Sorry for not writing in the beginner question thread but its a serious problem, I fcked up bad and I'm desperate to get fast answers from higher members.
About me, I seaked for truth with a pure heart since I got out of the teen phase. After discovering how much shit goes on in this world and that everything is upside down, it took still quite a while to flip the last coin, jewsus. Took me sooo long to recognize that I forgot to flip this last obvious coin.... Anyway, I was never religious, just a family which throws hard and many "blesssing".
Unfortunatly after I started to grasp what the foundation of this universe is and how it works. Vibrations, duality, how our will functions etc. psychodelics crossed my way. So I followed my nature and tried to dive deep in my psyche. Anyway I will talk later more about the shit I've done but for now lets make it quick. (I will not promote this shit, everyone who found JoS should stay with it, you dont need anything else)
Before JoS I tried to get a succubus with the "letter method" from the web. Just 1 for ever and not a harem.
Tried to interact, saw swirling colors, felt the entity. (still never meditated before but the whole proces with "it" was like meditating and started advancing).
Interacted everytime on lsd. I knew I had to control my will, I thought I did, in reality I didnt..
After a while it started to feel like it is more than one? So I thought it was strange but I wanted to progress.
One day I discovered trance by intuition, didnt had any knowledge from JoS, the falling sensation felt just right so I focused upon it and fell into the deeeeepest pit and that all while having the intention to let "her" connect with me.
Now I know it was the enemy but not back then and here lies the problem..So first time in trance, deepist pit, with the enemy.. haha.. I know...
First, I blacked out? Than my consciousness came back up from a HUGE and deep pain like a truck entering my brain. My body moved from the pain, upper half sliding down from the bed, hanging head down like a towel. Dont know how long or fast. But I remember correctly that I saw this whole situation.. from an observer perspective? I got angry, snapped and "woke up" in the position I said before.
The next days I woke up from unreal nightmares. One stuck particular, I levitated straight like a candle and something draged me infront of my mirror and chocked me. But I could only see myself levitating paralysed. I tried to scream I BANISH YOU but I couldnt open my mouth. In panic I tried again and again while each time more letters slip my mouth and finally I wake up with a scream I BASNISH YOU. In others I just got called Satans cunt etc. will not go into them.
To add:
I kept the last intact piece from the burned letter (dont know why)
While I was interacting with this thing I maybe was too creative mith my visualization lol, tried to visualize the whole thing infront of me in 3d space with open eyes.. did I created a thoughtform? Probably not but I gave this thing definitive too much energy.
Somewhere in between I found JoS but didnt looked into it further (stupid me).
I had enough and started studying JoS. Dedication, was about 2 months ago. Right before the dedication I layed the piece from the letter on a paper drew a circle and vibrated a banishing mantra a few times and putted it on top of my closet.
After dedication I felt like a donkey who finally found the oasis after a journay which lasted as long as I can think straight :lol:
And swore to our Father to abandon these fcking drugs and I did.
No nightmares anymore.
I do every day the standard mediations, I opened my chakras, I can easily inhale energy with my whole body do ha yoga.
I actually feel I advance a bit too fast.. my head feels a bit too much under pressure. Sometimes after or while a good long mediation the light before my 3rd eye starts to flicker like someone is turning the light on and off in highspeed (I hope thats not bad).
I felt awesome these 2 months, so it came again into my mind to do the succubus ritual but this time with the real one lol.
So I did it.. My first ritual after the dedication, the energy felt awesome.
I was 3 nights with her so far, didnt felt strange.. I think? Just a bit ptsd but blocked these thoughts instantly out lol.
Around 4am suddenly I wake up spooked and paralyzed, while the body feels under heavy pressure, panicking, shouting for our Father but my mouth doesnt move, next shout few letters, next shout SATAN, everything ended instantly.
The feeling... nooo not again, and this time it was an even heavier feeling. This upcoming day I tried to not tune my mind into my new wife.
(maybe Father didnt granted my wish because I'm not ready enough? did I fed the last 3 days again the enemy?)
Did more protection and cleaning this day. Next night, again.... I wake up paralyzed, this time I was instantly ready, but the pressure on my body was WAY higher, this absolut cold high pressure... I try to move some finger, body parts, while withstanding this disgusting pressure, feeling like a rusty robot I managed to turn my head to burn this fcker with blue flames,
but everything I "see" I like a confused vortex or so pointing at me. I think it looked like that, I couldnt really see it. And while turning my head at it the pressure got higher and higher AND additionaly I heard like storm wind blasting at me extremly loud. I was not ready for this. It was the first time that I actually heard something but I didnt worked on my clairaudience. And SOO loud blasting at me with high pressure on my body, all that happened just in few seconds. I couldnt stand it... I had to call again for Father.. (everytime I didnt felt really awake, was my consciousness at these times at my female astral part? would like to know)
After that I started instantly to clean me and the room with blue flames but I still felt his presence, so I had to tune my head to Father to get rid of the cold presence but everytime I stoped thinking about Satan I felt under attack. Everytime when I turned my focus at this fcker to burn it, the pressure and cold kicked in. We need to cut the attention but I havet o give it in order to burn it :? I noticed that the pressure got higher when I focused the paper on my closet. What can I do with it?
So yeah... since eng is not my naitive language, the text took too long and its already night. While I type I feel this fcker around me... I'm exhausted... pls help me.
Hail Satan!
