I Feel shameful

[Osiris]

I joined JOS years ago but I was never consistent enough. I made nearly none progress. I know this is my human flaws. I was anxious all the time. I buried myself in the past, of what I lost. I'm so afraid that I let father Satan and my GD down. Maybe I did. I am afraid that it is late for me to start over again. I am afraid that I fail again like I did before. I feel so shameful.

I am now starting over again. I don't know how long for this time.

 

[Fuchs]

I joined JOS years ago but I was never consistent enough. I made nearly none progress. I know this is my human flaws. I was anxious all the time. I buried myself in the past, of what I lost. I'm so afraid that I let father Satan and my GD down. Maybe I did. I am afraid that it is late for me to start over again. I am afraid that I fail again like I did before. I feel so shameful.

I am now starting over again. I don't know how long for this time.

Be proud off every day you are consistent, if you slack one day do double the next day.

 

[Dahaarkan]

Satan isn't watching you 24/7 measuring how long it takes you to do things. Perhaps the reason you didn't follow through before is because you pressured yourself to go at a pace that isn't your own.

You need to learn to let go of this anxiety, because nobody is watching or judging you. This is your path and you must walk it at a pace that is comfortable and consistent for you.

 

[Weasel]

Once i always apologize to Satan each time i wasn't able to meditate and so on until one day i heard a strong voice mentally coming like a thunder telling me ''don't apologize to me but to yourself!''.
Satan will not get mad at you for not meditating, he has better things to do and he understand that we have many obstacles against us (the jewish curses, our minds which has been programmed against meditation, doing it for the first time in a long time etc), after all the only one who has to lose for not meditating is yourself.

 

[xlnt]

I joined JOS years ago but I was never consistent enough. I made nearly none progress. I know this is my human flaws. I was anxious all the time. I buried myself in the past, of what I lost. I'm so afraid that I let father Satan and my GD down. Maybe I did. I am afraid that it is late for me to start over again. I am afraid that I fail again like I did before. I feel so shameful.

I am now starting over again. I don't know how long for this time.

I'm the one who is supposed to feel ashamed around here I guess :roll:
But you definetly should not.
Instead you should feel lucky that you have found the Truth, that 99% of unfortunate people in this world still haven't.
Neither do many even seem to want to - being under the spell of xianity and other vile programs.

It's just a matter of applying the helpful knowledge of the JoS now for you, which is never to late to do yet again.
Go on now with meditations, asanas, RTRs and Good Luck!

 

[BlackOnyx8 [JG]]

In order to progress in anything in life, you need consistency. You are already aware of your own flaws and weaknesses and that is one of the most important steps. Start small and build from there. It is never late. Every day is a new chance to improve and become a better person than the one you were the day before. Do not feel shameful. I know it's hard if you failed many times, but take joy in the fact that even though you failed that many times, you never gave up and you are now trying another time. Everyone fails, everyone was weak at some point, what matters is what you do after you fail.

Change your mindset - instead of being uncertain of how long you will go without failure, be certain that whatever happens you won't give up despite failure. You need to be consistent long enough for your workings to become permanent. If you do fail, learn from your mistakes, be aware of what went wrong, why things happened the way they did and do it differently next time. Let go of the past, learn from it but do not stay there. Focus in the future, focus in what you want to become and work everyday towards your goals.

Start with the 40-day program, it is easy and teaches you discipline. Clean your aura and your chakras with solar energies. Do workings with the sowilo rune, or solar squares, work on your solar chakra. This will help you get rid of anxiety and be more confident in yourself. Work with the Nauthiz rune to build discipline and endurance.

If you can, get into Astrology and learn how to read your birth chart, this will help you figure out why things happen the way they do and what you can do about it, sometimes these events are karmic but you can avoid them.

 

[Shemsu]

I joined JOS years ago but I was never consistent enough. I made nearly none progress. I know this is my human flaws. I was anxious all the time. I buried myself in the past, of what I lost. I'm so afraid that I let father Satan and my GD down. Maybe I did. I am afraid that it is late for me to start over again. I am afraid that I fail again like I did before. I feel so shameful.

I am now starting over again. I don't know how long for this time.

Relax friend, start feeling good about yourself and let go of guilt. I know it's easier said than done but it can be achieved. Strengthen your will and resolve. I'm pretty sure you haven't been nearly as bad as I have. Everything was offered to me from early childhood on a plater, a million chances to do what's right and I threw it all away. From being nearly dead, suicidal and a failure in almost every way imaginable, here I am thriving and slowly but surely progressing in the light of Satan. You can shine and be great trust me. Even if you fall again just keep pushing on. Find the strength of Satan that runs in your blood.

 

[Wilson Percival Higgsbury]

As many have pointed, it's your own path. Satan will guide you but it's your own path. Never feel like you did it wrong, when you don't meditate you still grow as a person. The fact you are aware of the importance of it, shows you have come far. You are doing well.

 

[NinRick]

I joined JOS years ago but I was never consistent enough. I made nearly none progress. I know this is my human flaws. I was anxious all the time. I buried myself in the past, of what I lost. I'm so afraid that I let father Satan and my GD down. Maybe I did. I am afraid that it is late for me to start over again. I am afraid that I fail again like I did before. I feel so shameful.

I am now starting over again. I don't know how long for this time.

If you catch yourself and start to advance consistently, the Demons won’t be disappointed in you.

 

[NPC#67]

You should be not being consistent meditating is our biggest sin here, work on your discipline. Don't be afraid you will fail just do better this time.

 

[xlnt]

You should be not being consistent meditating is our biggest sin here, work on your discipline. Don't be afraid you will fail just do better this time.

It's the biggest sin to not be consistent in meditation, but he should not be afraid to fail? :roll:
No "sins" here, but hopefully OP will meditate more consistently now, for his own sake.
As I understand things; the main thing Satan does not tolerate is injustice,
Jews and those consciously working for them and their injustice.

 

[muriceias]

Have a routine that you can keep. Recognise and respect your limits. The most important is being consistent and not how much you do in the day. Discipline is built with time. You cannot rush. Im sure you can make it if you are patient with yourself. You may doubt your potential capacity now because you didnt attained it yet but I am sure you can. It is better to do 1 repetition of a mantra and 3 afirmations to each chakra for a day and keep it for at least 40 days than doing 50 repetitions on each chakra plus cleaning plus aura protection plus rtr plus yoga plus etc and failing before 40 days. I gave an extreme example here from where you can build and increase your routine with time. I dont know how hard is for you to keep a routine. Rtr, cleaning, protection and yoga are also important. You should add them as soon as you are able to keep.

It is important to have a time for yourself. A time with no restrictions where you can just follow the flow. Do what you want to do. Including doing nothing and just chill. Feel yourself. Doesnt matter if you are feeling irritated because your neighbour on its free will is listening to a very loud music showing a bad taste for it. Or if after some moment you neighbour's house is suddenly hit by a lightining and disable the sound device giving you relief. Feel your emotions the most intensely you can. Care and listen to youself the most you can. Be it painful or pleasing. Dont supress them. If you neglect the negative you will also supress the positive. Try to be positive and open as opportunities come to you. You are already realised in your level. Enjoy it.