I feel like a disgrace

[Lighoftruth]

I believe I'm a disgrace


I have been dedicated for just over 5 years and I haven't accomplished much and I'm absolutely ashamed at myself and feel like a failure and a disgrace at this point in time. I know I can be much better, but at the moment I need to open up so I can move on and get things going. Things like meditation and coming to Satan have always gone quite well and smooth, I'm not advanced that much but meditation goes good, I believe I've meditated and served before, in a past life, and was involved in the German military possibly(I've had a flashback dream of some military experience). But as of now it feels like I'm stuck in some lazy vacation I can't seem to pull myself out of. It's been up and down with my involvement, and unfortunately I hate to say it I've been up and down on RTR's and meditations, although I've done them before, but I've strayed too far and need to get back on. I feel like I'm lazy, unmotivated, and like I can't bring myself to meditate in front of my girlfriend of almost 5 years, she's about to dedicate too and happy I'm to say she's just about the perfect woman I could ever have in my life. I feel like I have some anxiety or blockage when involving myself in Satanism in front of others, most particularly meditation and vibrating different meditations. I've brought others in Spiritual Satanism but have an issue where it's quite hard to bring myself to meditate in front of others who I know are supportive, probably social anxiety. I'm not really begging for help but more of a vent and advice to get on it and get it back so I can continue to advance. I have everything I could want, I have a well paying job, freedom to go where I want whenever I want. I have lots of skills in the trades and am very good at what I do. I have a lot of nice firearms so I'm always prepared for whatever event may call for my rifle but none of the material items fill the void that calls for Satan, and the wonderful energy and knowledge He brings and feel absolutely ashamed of my performance and feel like I've taken advantage of knowledge and my freedoms so many have lost their lives for in the past and I hate myself for that. So I'm asking that Satan, the Gods, and my Guardian Demon to not leave me for I am coming back and will make you all proud. I suppose that is all. Hail Satan

 

[Aquarius]

Don't despise yourself, despise your weaknesses and negative attributes.
Your problem is just about getting it done, you just literally have to get over your mental barriers and meditate.

 

[Alexandros Iowno [JG]]

You may disgrace these blockage, which they are and exist simply because of the enemy.

You can break free from this, by simply doing an effort of will and discipline and by targeting a cleansing working on a Sabbath and also Returning Curses.

Your position in life favors for more success, having this opportunity is also extremely rare in the world and lifetime. Do not be so harsh on yourself while you do not act on it, rather take a total relaxed stance and act on it.

The mind has a reason to make from nothing, something. Likewise, it can be from something, nothing. Which to you this has to be from lethargy to something, and from negative self blame to nothing.

Just as a rifle needs cleaning and care, or any other thing in this world, some levels of existence needs cleaning and care as well.

Re-read today the whole JoS, pick two favorite meditations and do them and then do what is necessary to propel yourself in a full satisfied SS. Good luck

 

[Lighoftruth]

You may disgrace these blockage, which they are and exist simply because of the enemy.

You can break free from this, by simply doing an effort of will and discipline and by targeting a cleansing working on a Sabbath and also Returning Curses.

Your position in life favors for more success, having this opportunity is also extremely rare in the world and lifetime. Do not be so harsh on yourself while you do not act on it, rather take a total relaxed stance and act on it.

The mind has a reason to make from nothing, something. Likewise, it can be from something, nothing. Which to you this has to be from lethargy to something, and from negative self blame to nothing.

Just as a rifle needs cleaning and care, or any other thing in this world, some levels of existence needs cleaning and care as well.

Re-read today the whole JoS, pick two favorite meditations and do them and then do what is necessary to propel yourself in a full satisfied SS. Good luck

Very well said. Thank you, I really appreciate the advice.

 

[xlnt]

I can't bring myself to meditate in front of my girlfriend of almost 5 years, she's about to dedicate too and happy I'm to say she's just about the perfect woman I could ever have in my life.

That does not sound very disgraceful :roll: . You should split up the text more into pieces the next time.
Perhaps re-read the Joy of Satan website to get renewed insight into why you should meditate, do RTR's etc. I've gone back to it sometimes for that purpose.

 

[Jack]

You've achieved more than most people here materially speaking. So you are already a winner in a way. Now you can start your meditation journey. There's no point in life when it's too late. You need to have the will and enact on it my friend.

 

[Demonic]

I believe I'm a disgrace


......

The problem starts here. When you start negative self talking you become more of it,more negative,it adds more negatives and makes it even harder to do things. It also does not mean that you completely ignore the fact that you are negative and believe yourself to be entirely positive even when there are negatives present.

YOU BECOME WHAT YOU CONSUME.
To explain it more clearly, if you listen to sad songs, or watching depressing movies and videos mostly or any stuff you consuming mentally that drags you down, you will attract the same in life. A weak mind sub-consciously accepts the negativity repeated over and over again,then it manifests in life.

Keep a mindset of "yes there are negatives present what has happened has happened but i m overcoming them and making a better life for me in every way possible" in a nutshell accept what has happened and affirm to yourself no more of this is happening anymore.

You got this. You know this is the right path and you know what to do. Start with 40 day meditation program.
You may add SATANAS X 9 with something like "In a positive and healthy way for me i m now really motivated, dedicated and consistent to do my meditations". Adding this to 40 day program will help you stay consistent.
Ask Gods to guide you.

 

[yoanna666]

I believe I'm a disgrace


I have been dedicated for just over 5 years and I haven't accomplished much and I'm absolutely ashamed at myself and feel like a failure and a disgrace at this point in time. I know I can be much better, but at the moment I need to open up so I can move on and get things going. Things like meditation and coming to Satan have always gone quite well and smooth, I'm not advanced that much but meditation goes good, I believe I've meditated and served before, in a past life, and was involved in the German military possibly(I've had a flashback dream of some military experience). But as of now it feels like I'm stuck in some lazy vacation I can't seem to pull myself out of. It's been up and down with my involvement, and unfortunately I hate to say it I've been up and down on RTR's and meditations, although I've done them before, but I've strayed too far and need to get back on. I feel like I'm lazy, unmotivated, and like I can't bring myself to meditate in front of my girlfriend of almost 5 years, she's about to dedicate too and happy I'm to say she's just about the perfect woman I could ever have in my life. I feel like I have some anxiety or blockage when involving myself in Satanism in front of others, most particularly meditation and vibrating different meditations. I've brought others in Spiritual Satanism but have an issue where it's quite hard to bring myself to meditate in front of others who I know are supportive, probably social anxiety. I'm not really begging for help but more of a vent and advice to get on it and get it back so I can continue to advance. I have everything I could want, I have a well paying job, freedom to go where I want whenever I want. I have lots of skills in the trades and am very good at what I do. I have a lot of nice firearms so I'm always prepared for whatever event may call for my rifle but none of the material items fill the void that calls for Satan, and the wonderful energy and knowledge He brings and feel absolutely ashamed of my performance and feel like I've taken advantage of knowledge and my freedoms so many have lost their lives for in the past and I hate myself for that. So I'm asking that Satan, the Gods, and my Guardian Demon to not leave me for I am coming back and will make you all proud. I suppose that is all. Hail Satan

I understand how you feel, kinda going through similar situation rn. If you need somebody to talk to I am here and I'm sure other members are willing to help as well. The first thing you should know is that you're not alone even if you feel like that, there are many people who go through same stuff and I know it's difficult but hang on : ' ) it will be better I'm sure. Try to look at things from a positive side