I failed as a Satanist

[Aletheia]

I'm a young woman and I need some advices, I know I should read the website before and all but I need to talk to someone.
My life is been tough since I can remember, I never had a family or anything but I always fought.
A year ago I discovered Satanism.
I did the dedication, but for the wrong reasons, I didn't know the real satanism, I believed that becoming satanist would have cancelled all of my problems. And instead my problems have multiplied. I thought that through meditation, exercises and everything else, I could have changed my disastrous life. But I failed. And now I feel worst than ever and don't know what to do. Why is this hard for me to meditate and advance just like everyone else?
And also, now my landlord kicked me out so I will soon be homeless and without money. I can't even work because I'm mentally ill.
I don't think I'll kill myself bc im too afraid that my next life will be worse than this, even if I don't think there's something worse than being homeless and abused all your life.
I'm young and miserable and I feel like even Satan is disgusted by me.

 

[Sundara]

You’re only one year in, and it sounds like you have a lot of shit stacked up within you from going through so much. Life is really hard right now for everyone even as well, also saturn went retrograde. Meditation can cause things to be worse sometimes because it’s a cleansing process. But since you’re one year in you might not have deprogrammed your mind fully either. Try to stop negative thoughts and expectations, work to let go of your past, start waking up every morning and saying (and meaning it) today is going to be a good day. Something good is going to happen today. Make it a reality. Don’t give up. It’ll end. Satanism isn’t an instant miraculous cure all over night but if you put your mind to it and keep doing it there’s no way it won’t meet you in the middle.

 

[Rational Satanist]

I did the dedication, but for the wrong reasons, I didn't know the real satanism, I believed that becoming satanist would have cancelled all of my problems. And instead my problems have multiplied. I thought that through meditation, exercises and everything else, I could have changed my disastrous life. But I failed. And now I feel worst than ever and don't know what to do. Why is this hard for me to meditate and advance just like everyone else?

I'll give you my explanation, which isn't hard to figure out. Since you have many problems, it's hard to focus on empowering your soul, because the problems keep coming up when you meditate. You feel anxious, depressed or whatever else and these feelings keep coming up and prevent you from focusing and empowering yourself. You also have lots of negative beliefs about yourself that keep sabotaging your life and making it worse.

Many people come to Satanism when they have serious problems and are looking for a fix. And they get disappointed when they see that they won't be fixed instantly. It may seem heartless and cruel when I tell them that Spiritual Satanism will work better for you when you join when are doing fine in your life, so you will focus easily at the time you are happy, you will empower your soul easily and when the time comes that problems come into your life they will hit you less hard than if your soul were weak, or you may not have them at all. Empowering your soul in Spiritual Satanism works better as a prevention than a fix. But see, what happens is most people when they are happy they rarely think about Spiritual Satanism. They will think "I'm doing great, why should I need a religion in my life?". And they will come back if their life takes a turn and start having problems. You see, the best way to go on that is quite counterintuitive for most people. They do the opposite of what should be done.

But you can still do something about it. Create a mental safe place for your meditation and magick work. Visualize yourself in the most beautiful place you can think for a while and tell yourself "I'm now entering a safe place where I have no problems or worries and I'm free to focus on my meditations". And in general forget your problems and try to visualize your perfect self every time you can. Focus more on things you want than problems. You may ask me "am I not deceiving myself this way, when I feel good while I have problems?". Not at all. Your improvement of your life, new ideas and solutions can only come from your happy state or a state of acceptance. They can't come when you feel sad and anxious about your problems.

And also, now my landlord kicked me out so I will soon be homeless and without money. I can't even work because I'm mentally ill.
I don't think I'll kill myself bc im too afraid that my next life will be worse than this, even if I don't think there's something worse than being homeless and abused all your life.
I'm young and miserable and I feel like even Satan is disgusted by me.

Why should Satan be disgusted with your problems? The normal response a superior being would have is to be compassionate. I feel you are more likely projecting the way you feel about yourself to Satan. Yes, you have many problems, but don't beat yourself down because of them. They are not your fault.

 

[956GOD]

I'm a young woman and I need some advices, I know I should read the website before and all but I need to talk to someone.
My life is been tough since I can remember, I never had a family or anything but I always fought.
A year ago I discovered Satanism.
I did the dedication, but for the wrong reasons, I didn't know the real satanism, I believed that becoming satanist would have cancelled all of my problems. And instead my problems have multiplied. I thought that through meditation, exercises and everything else, I could have changed my disastrous life. But I failed. And now I feel worst than ever and don't know what to do. Why is this hard for me to meditate and advance just like everyone else?
And also, now my landlord kicked me out so I will soon be homeless and without money. I can't even work because I'm mentally ill.
I don't think I'll kill myself bc im too afraid that my next life will be worse than this, even if I don't think there's something worse than being homeless and abused all your life.
I'm young and miserable and I feel like even Satan is disgusted by me.

Check it out. I come from a prevelent family.. I became famous in my area.. rgv texas.. and now I doing stable in terms of my financial situation. But check it out, look at what it cost. My loml got pregnant and aids and became a druggie. I wanted to marry this woman. I had to let her go. My great grandma just died. My brother became a pain killer drug addict at 28 still living off new and my mom and he steals from us. My dad and I have a ok relationship.. we see each other weekly… and my mom is a single mom supporting my loser brother. He sleeps all day. But guess what.. I prevailed, I’m famous, got political power to expand satanism till it’s my time to die, and I’m doing a very good job. Just like jfk would say, “ask what not Satan can do for you, but ask Satan what you can do for Satan”. He shall bless you if you truly want to help him. Life is tuff, I got betrayed by best freinds, my own brother last year sent me to jail for $, but Satan provided and now I tower over my loser brother. Keep the faith.. I’ve expirenced death in my family, betrayal by the loml, she got pregnant by my friend, and just because you get $, fame, and political power don’t make it easy. I take 5 hour naps, get online to monitor global politics around the globe. I work hard. And I stay humble. I shall work for Satan till he no longer needs me. Stay strong my friend.

 

[Hornet666]

I'm a young woman and I need some advices, I know I should read the website before and all but I need to talk to someone.
My life is been tough since I can remember, I never had a family or anything but I always fought.
A year ago I discovered Satanism.
I did the dedication, but for the wrong reasons, I didn't know the real satanism, I believed that becoming satanist would have cancelled all of my problems. And instead my problems have multiplied. I thought that through meditation, exercises and everything else, I could have changed my disastrous life. But I failed. And now I feel worst than ever and don't know what to do. Why is this hard for me to meditate and advance just like everyone else?
And also, now my landlord kicked me out so I will soon be homeless and without money. I can't even work because I'm mentally ill.
I don't think I'll kill myself bc im too afraid that my next life will be worse than this, even if I don't think there's something worse than being homeless and abused all your life.
I'm young and miserable and I feel like even Satan is disgusted by me.

Can you describe what meditations you are doing in your routine? I noticed that you didn't mention cleaning your aura and returning curses. Do you participate in spiritual warfare?

 

[Aquarius]

It doesn't matter if you fall, it matters if you don't stand up again, in that case you can say you failed, if you stand up then in no way have you failed. That's perseverance.

 

[Eric13]

I’ve definitely been in your shoes. Meditations do work, but you have to be thoughtful with how, which ones you do and how much.

In your case you have unfortunate things happening so that means a major focus needs to be cleansing and protection. For cleansing VISUDDHI works wonders. SURYAE, the sun mantra is great for protection. I highly recommend you make a routine out of cleansing your chakras, aura and soul daily and keep building up your aura of protection. As well, keep with the daily rtr schedule and clean afterwords too.

Next, you need to ask the gods for guidance out of these tough situations and remain open. You can’t have a defeatist mentality which is common with people who have struggled a lot. They tend to have this mental block where they have a hard time accepting they can succeed or have any thing good come their way. But it isn’t true so be open and believe you can get out of these problematic situations because you can.

As I said, seek the gods for guidance and then really meditate and think about your options, and ways out and then you have to jump on these things and work hard and you’ll get out. Also pay mind to planetary transits. I went through a lot of this stuff for the last year, and doing what I advised, I’m doing much much better. Better than I have in a long while. You certainly can do it too. It does take work though.

Cleanse, protect, ask for guidance from the gods, be open and work hard= wins

 

[Jack]

I've been thinking about this situation that most Satanists go through and I think the reason for all this is karma coming up as your soul starts to open up.

This Filth needs to be cleaned first before you go further. In the beginning years ,I would have recommended my beginner self to do multiple Freeing the Souo workings and Spiritual Sun Workings to deal with Negative Effects of the Natal Saturn.

Once the filth has been cleaned ,I would go further onto more advanced medications.

 

[Henu the Great]

Time and time again it's the same old same. It's not bullshit when people tell over and over the same thing. Clean your ass off, and void meditate a lot. The basics, foundation so to speak, for the future.

 

[Hp. Hoodedcobra666]

You certainly did not fail as a Satanist, you are just undergoing a difficult period based on past mistakes, that can be fixed in the future. Do not lose hope, and start working to make things better one step at a time.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

Don't be afraid to apply to every social aid program available to you. There is no shame in this; you are a Satanist and will no doubt be back on your feet and even stronger very soon.

Satan and the Gods are not mad at you. As others said, try to tune into them for advice. Listen to what sort of thoughts pop into your head. They will guide you appropriately, but you have to open up to them to make it easier for them. On a similar note, do not be afraid to come to us here for help.

Don't stop meditating, and don't feel bad. Keep persevering and you will be successful. You will be fine. Good luck!

 

[Rook]

I'm a young woman and I need some advices, I know I should read the website before and all but I need to talk to someone.
My life is been tough since I can remember, I never had a family or anything but I always fought.
A year ago I discovered Satanism.
I did the dedication, but for the wrong reasons, I didn't know the real satanism, I believed that becoming satanist would have cancelled all of my problems. And instead my problems have multiplied. I thought that through meditation, exercises and everything else, I could have changed my disastrous life. But I failed. And now I feel worst than ever and don't know what to do. Why is this hard for me to meditate and advance just like everyone else?
And also, now my landlord kicked me out so I will soon be homeless and without money. I can't even work because I'm mentally ill.
I don't think I'll kill myself bc im too afraid that my next life will be worse than this, even if I don't think there's something worse than being homeless and abused all your life.
I'm young and miserable and I feel like even Satan is disgusted by me.

Hmm interesting.

Seem normal to me, also good to know that you've always fought back

"I thought that through meditation, exercises and everything else, I could have changed my disastrous life."
understand that change is chaotic in nature, when life's friction increases like this, it's ususally a sign of change.
most of the time change requires one to come out of their comfortzone, in other words your life can get ruffled up a bit, just keep pushing through it, if you wish to accomplish the change you seek.

take your time to sort your problems out, try not to tackle all at once, you may get overwhelmed, also don't worry about them.
Overcoming Obstacles

Establishing Control[/url]" ]Worry does nothing to change a problem. It drains energy and can cause serious health problems.

also if you're mentally ill you could receive welfare.

"I'm young and miserable and I feel like even Satan is disgusted by me."
well that's just your assumption, you just need to keep pushing through life.

since you're new i'd give you some tips that worked for me, start doing an Aura of protection, i'd also work on the lower 3 chakras, as the lower chakras tend to help with grounding and overall health.

when i was new, i'd get a lot of pain near my crotch close to the genitals, and the following days i'd feel very weak, and sometimes when i did vibrations my teeth would hurt, working on cleaning and empowering my base chakra solved this.
i am not sure if my base chakra was getting attacked or something, who knows, but sometimes an exaggeration of a problem could be a sign that such problem needs attention and to be worked on.

Another thing, my life had also gotten very chaotic as well when i was new, as to be expected as new perspectives and experiences where coming into my life, a bit too fast, but i handled it,
my life is now way better than how it was before

 

[Jack]

I'm a young woman and I need some advices, I know I should read the website before and all but I need to talk to someone.
My life is been tough since I can remember, I never had a family or anything but I always fought.
A year ago I discovered Satanism.
I did the dedication, but for the wrong reasons, I didn't know the real satanism, I believed that becoming satanist would have cancelled all of my problems. And instead my problems have multiplied. I thought that through meditation, exercises and everything else, I could have changed my disastrous life. But I failed. And now I feel worst than ever and don't know what to do. Why is this hard for me to meditate and advance just like everyone else?
And also, now my landlord kicked me out so I will soon be homeless and without money. I can't even work because I'm mentally ill.
I don't think I'll kill myself bc im too afraid that my next life will be worse than this, even if I don't think there's something worse than being homeless and abused all your life.
I'm young and miserable and I feel like even Satan is disgusted by me.

Hmm interesting.

Seem normal to me, also good to know that you've always fought back

"I thought that through meditation, exercises and everything else, I could have changed my disastrous life."
understand that change is chaotic in nature, when life's friction increases like this, it's ususally a sign of change.
most of the time change requires one to come out of their comfortzone, in other words your life can get ruffled up a bit, just keep pushing through it, if you wish to accomplish the change you seek.

take your time to sort your problems out, try not to tackle all at once, you may get overwhelmed, also don't worry about them.
Overcoming Obstacles

Establishing Control[/url]" ]Worry does nothing to change a problem. It drains energy and can cause serious health problems.

also if you're mentally ill you could receive welfare.

"I'm young and miserable and I feel like even Satan is disgusted by me."
well that's just your assumption, you just need to keep pushing through life.

since you're new i'd give you some tips that worked for me, start doing an Aura of protection, i'd also work on the lower 3 chakras, as the lower chakras tend to help with grounding and overall health.

when i was new, i'd get a lot of pain near my crotch close to the genitals, and the following days i'd feel very weak, and sometimes when i did vibrations my teeth would hurt, working on cleaning and empowering my base chakra solved this.
i am not sure if my base chakra was getting attacked or something, who knows, but sometimes an exaggeration of a problem could be a sign that such problem needs attention and to be worked on.

Another thing, my life had also gotten very chaotic as well when i was new, as to be expected as new perspectives and experiences where coming into my life, a bit too fast, but i handled it,
my life is now way better than how it was before

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