I am breaking down emotionally! JUDGEMENT or LESSON?!

[sasjons]

I have been really rock these past few days emotionally. My sister has been having 'panic attacks' but the doctor suggested it may be anemia. My father can't cope and now I have to look after him alone. My mother is an asshole and is nowhere to be found, shes no help at all.

Today I got caught eating in the hall of my new chatholic college (I know, Im at the enemy's mercy here) and it dragged out. She made such a big deal out of it and all of a sudden my heart just imploded. I tried to meditate but was completely unable to focus so I focused on the heart chakra (where the pain was coming from) and inhaled golden energy while thinking about my life and what kind of person I was (I was telling this to father) and I basically CRIED MY HEART OUT TO HIM!

I feel like I have lerned about myself a lot and I see how much I need to improve, spiritually and mentally. I read on the JoS that meditation can make your emotions go funny. MY EMOTIONS HAVE GONE WAY BEYOND FUNNY!

How can I control them?
How can I control my energy better? (I can already feel it strongly in a light trance)
Is this satan "whipping me into shape" or the enemy "breaking me down"?

 

[David1]

How can I control them?
How can I control my energy better? (I can already feel it strongly in a light trance)
Is this satan "whipping me into shape" or the enemy "breaking me down"?

Greetings. I can definitely see where your coming from; my emotions were "funny" as I progressed in my training. I think maybe all the extra stress you have been going through is amplifying it to a large degree! If you're strengthening yourself spiritually, all the other aspects of yourself that are tied to it (emotionally, mentally, physically) will be affected. I know this from experience, as my mom too is an ass. I thought of it like physical training. As you become stronger, you'll notice when you get an injury (stress) it's more dramatic as there is more to the physical self now. So, you take up yoga & stretch & explore your new found power. Like void meditating slows the mind & allows for deep trances for exploring the mind. As your body becomes stronger, you notice your more heavy handed- like slamming doors or breaking things rather easily. So you take time to assess what you have to better control yourself, like the energy meditating practice on the JOS meditating page for the bigger flow of energy you control. Practicing moving your energy all over your body will help to reign it.
As far as Father whipping you into shape, I don't know. I would really meditate hard in a deep trance on Father's energy & see if you recognize it around you. I don't think he'd cause you unnecessary stress & aggravation to make you evolve. He comes to us when we ask for help, but he doesn't have a whip.
Hope that helps!
Hail Enki!
-Dave

 

[donny grandstaff]

<td val[/IMG]Don't Satan looks After his own!!!! That's if your dedicated HAIL SATANS CHILDREN!!!!!
HAIL ANCIENT GODS OF OLD!!!!!!! HAIL SATAN!!!!

--- On Thu, 10/7/10, sasjons <sasjons@... wrote:

From: sasjons <sasjons@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] I am breaking down emotionally! JUDGEMENT or LESSON?!
To: [email protected]
Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 4:05 PM

  I have been really rock these past few days emotionally. My sister has been having 'panic attacks' but the doctor suggested it may be anemia. My father can't cope and now I have to look after him alone. My mother is an asshole and is nowhere to be found, shes no help at all.

Today I got caught eating in the hall of my new chatholic college (I know, Im at the enemy's mercy here) and it dragged out. She made such a big deal out of it and all of a sudden my heart just imploded. I tried to meditate but was completely unable to focus so I focused on the heart chakra (where the pain was coming from) and inhaled golden energy while thinking about my life and what kind of person I was (I was telling this to father) and I basically CRIED MY HEART OUT TO HIM!

I feel like I have lerned about myself a lot and I see how much I need to improve, spiritually and mentally. I read on the JoS that meditation can make your emotions go funny. MY EMOTIONS HAVE GONE WAY BEYOND FUNNY!

How can I control them?
How can I control my energy better? (I can already feel it strongly in a light trance)
Is this satan "whipping me into shape" or the enemy "breaking me down"?

[/TD]

 

[Allison P]

Yeah, Dave's right. Obviouslym, you're going through stressful things,
sonaturally you'll be in a bad way, and if you're working on yourself
it gets intensified. As for Father, he doesn't do weird mind fucks
like that; he'd never cause any of his dedicated ones such stress,
just to prove a point. Just do the best you can to learn from this, as
you said. This stage you're in won't last forever. hail Father Satan!

On 10/8/10, donny grandstaff <swapdragon@... wrote:
Don't Satan looks After his own!!!!
That's if your dedicated
HAIL SATANS CHILDREN!!!!!
HAIL ANCIENT GODS OF OLD!!!!!!!
HAIL SATAN!!!!

--- On Thu, 10/7/10, sasjons <sasjons@... wrote:


From: sasjons <sasjons@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] I am breaking down emotionally! JUDGEMENT or
LESSON?!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 4:05 PM






I have been really rock these past few days emotionally. My sister has been
having 'panic attacks' but the doctor suggested it may be anemia. My father
can't cope and now I have to look after him alone. My mother is an asshole
and is nowhere to be found, shes no help at all.

Today I got caught eating in the hall of my new chatholic college (I know,
Im at the enemy's mercy here) and it dragged out. She made such a big deal
out of it and all of a sudden my heart just imploded. I tried to meditate
but was completely unable to focus so I focused on the heart chakra (where
the pain was coming from) and inhaled golden energy while thinking about my
life and what kind of person I was (I was telling this to father) and I
basically CRIED MY HEART OUT TO HIM!

I feel like I have lerned about myself a lot and I see how much I need to
improve, spiritually and mentally. I read on the JoS that meditation can
make your emotions go funny. MY EMOTIONS HAVE GONE WAY BEYOND FUNNY!

How can I control them?
How can I control my energy better? (I can already feel it strongly in a
light trance)
Is this satan "whipping me into shape" or the enemy "breaking me down"?

 

[sasjons]

Thanks very much for your posts.

I have been doing the meditation from father satan. When I do this I feel amazingly calm and cool, and my third eye goes off like a buzzer. It feels like nothing I have ever felt. I have tried sendin energy to different chakras and parts of the body (like the hands - and when I do it almost paralyses it and starts to pulse). I have even shifted energy from my left side of my brain to my right (it felt really awkward and the crown chakra felt really active).

The more I read on the JoS it seems to appear that the nordics finally see me as a threat and are now trying to induce a depressive state on my, without father's help and my will, it would have been unbareable. I feel really low sometimes and this depletes me of energy. Im body building too so the changes in my physical self aren't helping either!

I can't get in a deep trance (though I have mistaken many trances for deep ones -they were that intense) because I don't have any privacy. There is always background noise somewhere -though I do my best to drown it out (and I do a pretty good job of manipulating energy in med to light trances).

Satan has been so good to be, he has lifted me up from my previous depressive state and has helped me get up in the morning! I always meet a bus to get to college on time (and since I get allowance based on attendance and punctuallity this is VERY IMPORTANT TO ME!) I thank him and can't wait to do my first ritual to father - I have already dedicated to father.

Plus I have had what I believe to be contact from my GD using a flickering flame method I designed (using ideas from many brothers and sisters).

HAIL SATANAAAAAA!
HAIL MY GUARDIAN DEMON!!
HAIL THE MIGHTY GODS OF DUAT!!!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "david" <sevenpointedvox@... wrote:


How can I control them?
How can I control my energy better? (I can already feel it strongly in a light trance)
Is this satan "whipping me into shape" or the enemy "breaking me down"?

Greetings. I can definitely see where your coming from; my emotions were "funny" as I progressed in my training. I think maybe all the extra stress you have been going through is amplifying it to a large degree! If you're strengthening yourself spiritually, all the other aspects of yourself that are tied to it (emotionally, mentally, physically) will be affected. I know this from experience, as my mom too is an ass. I thought of it like physical training. As you become stronger, you'll notice when you get an injury (stress) it's more dramatic as there is more to the physical self now. So, you take up yoga & stretch & explore your new found power. Like void meditating slows the mind & allows for deep trances for exploring the mind. As your body becomes stronger, you notice your more heavy handed- like slamming doors or breaking things rather easily. So you take time to assess what you have to better control yourself, like the energy meditating practice on the JOS meditating page for the bigger flow of energy you control. Practicing moving your energy all over your body will help to reign it.
As far as Father whipping you into shape, I don't know. I would really meditate hard in a deep trance on Father's energy & see if you recognize it around you. I don't think he'd cause you unnecessary stress & aggravation to make you evolve. He comes to us when we ask for help, but he doesn't have a whip.
Hope that helps!
Hail Enki!
-Dave

 

[Jason Stephens]

well we all deal with different things and how we deal and react to them is either our issue or problem for us to deal with but sometimes we struggle and need some OTHER support, physical things,"I say", things we can see helps us and reashures us that things are going to be allright

From: Allison P <apocalypseofjon@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sat, October 9, 2010 1:51:06 PM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] I am breaking down emotionally! JUDGEMENT or LESSON?!

  Yeah, Dave's right. Obviouslym, you're going through stressful things,
sonaturally you'll be in a bad way, and if you're working on yourself
it gets intensified. As for Father, he doesn't do weird mind fucks
like that; he'd never cause any of his dedicated ones such stress,
just to prove a point. Just do the best you can to learn from this, as
you said. This stage you're in won't last forever. hail Father Satan!

On 10/8/10, donny grandstaff <swapdragon@... wrote:
Don't Satan looks After his own!!!!
That's if your dedicated
HAIL SATANS CHILDREN!!!!!
HAIL ANCIENT GODS OF OLD!!!!!!!
HAIL SATAN!!!!

--- On Thu, 10/7/10, sasjons <sasjons@... wrote:


From: sasjons <sasjons@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] I am breaking down emotionally! JUDGEMENT or
LESSON?!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, October 7, 2010, 4:05 PM






I have been really rock these past few days emotionally. My sister has been
having 'panic attacks' but the doctor suggested it may be anemia. My father
can't cope and now I have to look after him alone. My mother is an asshole
and is nowhere to be found, shes no help at all.

Today I got caught eating in the hall of my new chatholic college (I know,
Im at the enemy's mercy here) and it dragged out. She made such a big deal
out of it and all of a sudden my heart just imploded. I tried to meditate
but was completely unable to focus so I focused on the heart chakra (where
the pain was coming from) and inhaled golden energy while thinking about my
life and what kind of person I was (I was telling this to father) and I
basically CRIED MY HEART OUT TO HIM!

I feel like I have lerned about myself a lot and I see how much I need to
improve, spiritually and mentally. I read on the JoS that meditation can
make your emotions go funny. MY EMOTIONS HAVE GONE WAY BEYOND FUNNY!

How can I control them?
How can I control my energy better? (I can already feel it strongly in a
light trance)
Is this satan "whipping me into shape" or the enemy "breaking me down"?

 

[morticia]

glad to hear ur doing good. whos ur gd if u dont mind me asking? just curious.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "sasjons" <sasjons@... wrote:

Thanks very much for your posts.

I have been doing the meditation from father satan. When I do this I feel amazingly calm and cool, and my third eye goes off like a buzzer. It feels like nothing I have ever felt. I have tried sendin energy to different chakras and parts of the body (like the hands - and when I do it almost paralyses it and starts to pulse). I have even shifted energy from my left side of my brain to my right (it felt really awkward and the crown chakra felt really active).

The more I read on the JoS it seems to appear that the nordics finally see me as a threat and are now trying to induce a depressive state on my, without father's help and my will, it would have been unbareable. I feel really low sometimes and this depletes me of energy. Im body building too so the changes in my physical self aren't helping either!

I can't get in a deep trance (though I have mistaken many trances for deep ones -they were that intense) because I don't have any privacy. There is always background noise somewhere -though I do my best to drown it out (and I do a pretty good job of manipulating energy in med to light trances).

Satan has been so good to be, he has lifted me up from my previous depressive state and has helped me get up in the morning! I always meet a bus to get to college on time (and since I get allowance based on attendance and punctuallity this is VERY IMPORTANT TO ME!) I thank him and can't wait to do my first ritual to father - I have already dedicated to father.

Plus I have had what I believe to be contact from my GD using a flickering flame method I designed (using ideas from many brothers and sisters).

HAIL SATANAAAAAA!
HAIL MY GUARDIAN DEMON!!
HAIL THE MIGHTY GODS OF DUAT!!!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "david" <sevenpointedvox@ wrote:


How can I control them?
How can I control my energy better? (I can already feel it strongly in a light trance)
Is this satan "whipping me into shape" or the enemy "breaking me down"?

Greetings. I can definitely see where your coming from; my emotions were "funny" as I progressed in my training. I think maybe all the extra stress you have been going through is amplifying it to a large degree! If you're strengthening yourself spiritually, all the other aspects of yourself that are tied to it (emotionally, mentally, physically) will be affected. I know this from experience, as my mom too is an ass. I thought of it like physical training. As you become stronger, you'll notice when you get an injury (stress) it's more dramatic as there is more to the physical self now. So, you take up yoga & stretch & explore your new found power. Like void meditating slows the mind & allows for deep trances for exploring the mind. As your body becomes stronger, you notice your more heavy handed- like slamming doors or breaking things rather easily. So you take time to assess what you have to better control yourself, like the energy meditating practice on the JOS meditating page for the bigger flow of energy you control. Practicing moving your energy all over your body will help to reign it.
As far as Father whipping you into shape, I don't know. I would really meditate hard in a deep trance on Father's energy & see if you recognize it around you. I don't think he'd cause you unnecessary stress & aggravation to make you evolve. He comes to us when we ask for help, but he doesn't have a whip.
Hope that helps!
Hail Enki!
-Dave