I’m not sure what to do?????

[Budtron1980]

I am starting to open chakras are try to. Lately I’ve come to the realization I really hate myself for choices I made and being no where near where I want to be in life. I’m talking hate it want to bash my face in hate it. I still take suboxone I still take Zoloft. I’m not making much progress spiritually and personally I work 6 days a week at a job that doesn’t pay much and overworks you…. My girlfriend that I love is obese I’m not attracted to her but love her. I don’t have any friends anymore. I try to meditate daily but always struggle too. And deep down I feel I deserve sooo much more. Not trying to be vain or selfish but I know I’m sexy by society standards I know I should be happier I just know it. Sorry to vent on the grand scale of things it’s nothing at all a spec in the atmosphere but it effects me alot. Any advice why am I so full of hate and resentment????

 

[Power of Justice [JG]]

I am starting to open chakras are try to. Lately I’ve come to the realization I really hate myself for choices I made and being no where near where I want to be in life. I’m talking hate it want to bash my face in hate it. I still take suboxone I still take Zoloft. I’m not making much progress spiritually and personally I work 6 days a week at a job that doesn’t pay much and overworks you…. My girlfriend that I love is obese I’m not attracted to her but love her. I don’t have any friends anymore. I try to meditate daily but always struggle too. And deep down I feel I deserve sooo much more. Not trying to be vain or selfish but I know I’m sexy by society standards I know I should be happier I just know it. Sorry to vent on the grand scale of things it’s nothing at all a spec in the atmosphere but it effects me alot. Any advice why am I so full of hate and resentment????

I think it's normal to feel that way upon the realization that you could have been on top of the world but you chose to play video games instead or something. The question is, what do you do with these feelings now? Do you destroy yourself? Do you channel your hatred to improve out of your situation?

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

Feel angry all you want, but know that hitting yourself or something like that won't change your life, questioning yourself won't change your life.
Spiritual advancement is like that, don't get your hopes up with 1 or 5 years of Satanism, things are built up little by little.
Advancement can be saved and it takes time, but not your wealth. Focus on solving your material life and then meditate a lot.
First by gaining free time or doing something else that is your priority now.

 

[Kood]

You probably can't help but feel that way. It's painful but things won't change just because you cry about it. The only thing for you to do is to continue trying to advance. Since you're suffering, I would recommend focusing more on cleaning and reprogramming yourself for more positivity like in the freeing the soul working.

Just know that the negativity will likely persist, but the only way is to keep fighting and cleaning your soul. There really isn't any fast way out of it. It's an unfortunately slow and deliberate process, but hopefully with time, you will be able to change your life for the better.

Self hatred will also make you weaker so learn to deal with this. The negative energy from self hatred is like cursing oneself and makes the self weaker when it gets out of hand. Try to forgive yourself but also maintain a balance of self discipline so you make progress.

 

[SapphireDragon]

I'd like to address the part about your girlfriend. You said you love her but her
obesity is an issue, so why not eat better yourself and involve her in healthy activities, inspire her to lose weight!

If you want your life to get better you have to open the doorways of positive changes within yourself then gradually everything around you will start to follow.

Part of this path is being open up to reflect within yourself as you get closer to the Gods and their ways. And as your life spiritually changes for the better you realize the physical must change.

Your partner should be on the same page as you, or open to being. If they don't want to change their lives in positive ways you may need to find someone who will or you won't be able to connect to them or find happiness in your life with them.

But, that doesn't mean give up or leave her yet! If you love her don't give up on her. Tell her that you both need to get healthier, take her out hiking and walking with you, maybe to the gym, or yoga, etc. Just involve them in healthy practices that you're doing as well then see where it goes and if she follows through with you good!!

You have a lot of physical work to do with yourself along with the spiritual. For a balanced and healthy life both the physical and spiritual need to be equally matched at a positive level in your life.

You can't focus on one and ignore the other. That's how humanity has reached this low level to start with. This is why when you get closer to the Gods and open your soul up to them you start realizing things within your life that you were previously blind to.

You've awakened to what must change, what needs your attention in your life now and you must be willing to make these changes to go forward.

That's the next step and you're not going to get there saying oh poor pitiful me, but by saying this old me has to go to make way for the new me.

Good luck, just don't get stuck hating your life, instead focus all of that energy on changing your life and growing, moving forward.

Hail Satan!!