Jrvan
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2020
- Messages
- 2,006
By popular demand since I know this is such a hot topic. Most people want to be in love, but not everyone knows how, and sometimes even those who have experienced it have forgotten how to feel it again or even what made them feel it in the first place.
The truth is that you can fall in love with anyone. It helps if you have chemistry, compatible energies, astrology, a spark, and all. But you can probably fall in love with your dog if you try hard enough. That doesn’t mean you should, and it would probably be pretty awkward for the dog, but anyway. Love is about letting go. It’s getting lost in the moment. You let your walls come down, and all your defenses are put away. You give your heart to this person in front of you, and then watch as you allow them to do what they want with it. You have to give them the chance to hurt you, and trust that they won’t. If you don’t give your heart completely away and give the other person the chance to rip it into a million shreds, then you won’t experience love. Love is all or nothing. Love has no room for reservation. If you don’t allow for the possibility of pain (as well as pleasure), then you won’t allow the love to flow through because you’re protecting yourself from it.
That’s why so many people don’t allow themselves to experience love - because they are afraid of getting hurt. Sadly many people have been burned too many times. They can’t bring themselves to trust people with their heart anymore. It’s tragic. These people will not be experiencing the beautiful feeling of love until they can trust someone enough to let go again. There’s a reason they call it “falling” in love because it’s really just like that - like freefalling. It’s taking the ultimate chance with your heart. Maybe you could say love is for gamblers especially in this jewed up society.
That all being said… you still shouldn’t just let yourself fall in love recklessly with a stranger or anyone you don’t know that well. That’s kind of the whole reason why we date people first. The dating phase of relationships is for getting to know the person. Obviously you wouldn’t want a deep relationship with someone who has no interest in getting to know you as a person, and is only interested in getting into your pants. Love can wait until you have gone through the screening phase and the proper selection process to know if someone is actually good for you or not. You have to know you can trust someone before you can make a judgement on whether or not to trust them with your heart.
Love is not about control. Love is about lack of control. You don’t know what’s going to happen, and you don’t care. All that matters is the moment in that internal space where you exist and your partner exists with you. The control part comes before the love part, as previously stated. I guess in a way you have to prepare for love beforehand. Kind of like preparing for a ceremonial ritual. You create the conditions so that you can safely fall in love without getting hurt. And then you dive into the deep knowing that you don’t have to worry about getting scraped on sharp rocks.
You also have to trust yourself as much as the other person. You have to trust that you will be able to handle it if you do get hurt. Believe in your strength, and that you will be okay. Don’t be like the young boys and girls who are scaredy cats and too afraid to talk to the opposite sex. They’re too scared to take a chance. Love is all about vulnerability. You can find great strength in being vulnerable after you have gotten used to it. It’s only uncomfortable at first. Like swimming - at first the water is bloody cold, but then your body acclimates and you feel warm. In my experience, it’s also like wearing a tank top for the first time. I was scared to do it in public because I wasn’t confident with my body, and I thought people would look at me, laugh, make fun of me, whatever. I found out that people don’t give a crap. I got used to it. Now I love experimenting and doing new things that make me feel vulnerable. It’s exciting. It’s kind of like men hide behind their stereotypical “man” clothing in society the same way that some women hide behind makeup (not all, it really depends on the reasons for using makeup). People don’t want to put themselves on the line, but that’s exactly the sort of bravery that leads to people feeling stronger and more GENUINELY confident. Who do you think is more confident in themselves - the man who wears a t-shirt, leather jacket, boots, and jeans and feels safe and comfortable only in that clothing as if it’s a suit of armor protecting him - or the man who can wear anything no matter how vulnerable it is and feels safe in his own skin, and then wears a leather jacket and pants even more confidently than the other man? You want to get to the point where you don’t need the armor to feel confident, and the armor is just the tool that offers extra protection. Otherwise it’s only the armor that has the confidence, and not you. It’s the same with love. You have to be willing to put yourself in that vulnerable position without your walls protecting you from getting hurt.
Another big thing that prevents love is that a lot of men are trained by society to be out of touch with their emotions and how they feel about things, to be out of touch with the feminine side of themselves. Men have to open themselves up to that in order to embrace this completely if they ever want to truly experience love, which most men claim they do want to do. Some women could also stand to meet their men in the middle with the masculine side of taking care of things too (and this is important because men want the masculine side of things to be acknowledged and appreciated as well), but that’s a separate topic completely. This is about love. How can anyone expect to experience love if they aren’t even open to their own emotions and the feminine side of things? Don’t worry about what society or your guy friends will think of you. Don’t worry about the judgement of others. All that matters is getting to know this side of life, getting your chance to live it and feel it. Letting go in order to experience the great ocean of the unknown. Any real man with an adventurous side should love the sound of that. Love is an adventure. It’s crazy, wild, and unknown - you never know what’s going to happen. And you get to relax your male side for a change because there’s no need to control it. Whatever happens, happens. Besides, the ones who laugh at you and make fun of you will eventually be the same ones getting jealous of you, and wanting what you have.
Putting your heart on the line isn’t easy… especially when you have been hurt before. But it is so worth it when you find someone who is worth your trust, and who proves to you every single day that they won’t hurt you, and shows you how precious you are and how much you mean to them.
Men naturally want to do that. They love doing things for their women to make them happy and please them, and they love it when those efforts are noticed. It always makes a man feel good when his woman tells him how much she appreciates him and all the things big and small that he does for her.
It goes the other way as well. It will melt a woman’s heart if a man tells her how much he appreciates her role in his life, and is able to put it into words and notice how she has affected and changed his life. Letting her know what you know intuitively - that you wouldn’t be who you are and where you are in life without her. Although as a man you need to first learn how to appreciate the feminine within yourself before you can appreciate it in your woman.
This is one of the first songs I shared with Tabby. It’s by a xian rock band which is an annoying fact, but I believe it captures the essence of what I tried to write here very well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0YvWQNWEJA
I hope this helps people who are confused, lost, or don’t know how to open themselves up. You can always do it and feel love again no matter how crushed you are. It just takes time to heal, and then you will be okay again to try again. You just have to be brave and willing to take a chance again. Each time you get your heart broken, you learn something from the experience, and you will have the wisdom to know better what to look out for with others in the future. The warning signs become more clear and easy to read. You must also always remember that not all people are the same, and somewhere out there is someone who is right for you, and they are worth betting your heart on.
Now that I have finished writing this lovely little guidebook, I have only one piece of advice to give to you: Never give your heart to a jew. I know that should be obvious and go without saying, but seriously… just don’t do it. :lol:
Good luck to all the Romeos and Juliets out there. You can do it if you try.
The truth is that you can fall in love with anyone. It helps if you have chemistry, compatible energies, astrology, a spark, and all. But you can probably fall in love with your dog if you try hard enough. That doesn’t mean you should, and it would probably be pretty awkward for the dog, but anyway. Love is about letting go. It’s getting lost in the moment. You let your walls come down, and all your defenses are put away. You give your heart to this person in front of you, and then watch as you allow them to do what they want with it. You have to give them the chance to hurt you, and trust that they won’t. If you don’t give your heart completely away and give the other person the chance to rip it into a million shreds, then you won’t experience love. Love is all or nothing. Love has no room for reservation. If you don’t allow for the possibility of pain (as well as pleasure), then you won’t allow the love to flow through because you’re protecting yourself from it.
That’s why so many people don’t allow themselves to experience love - because they are afraid of getting hurt. Sadly many people have been burned too many times. They can’t bring themselves to trust people with their heart anymore. It’s tragic. These people will not be experiencing the beautiful feeling of love until they can trust someone enough to let go again. There’s a reason they call it “falling” in love because it’s really just like that - like freefalling. It’s taking the ultimate chance with your heart. Maybe you could say love is for gamblers especially in this jewed up society.
That all being said… you still shouldn’t just let yourself fall in love recklessly with a stranger or anyone you don’t know that well. That’s kind of the whole reason why we date people first. The dating phase of relationships is for getting to know the person. Obviously you wouldn’t want a deep relationship with someone who has no interest in getting to know you as a person, and is only interested in getting into your pants. Love can wait until you have gone through the screening phase and the proper selection process to know if someone is actually good for you or not. You have to know you can trust someone before you can make a judgement on whether or not to trust them with your heart.
Love is not about control. Love is about lack of control. You don’t know what’s going to happen, and you don’t care. All that matters is the moment in that internal space where you exist and your partner exists with you. The control part comes before the love part, as previously stated. I guess in a way you have to prepare for love beforehand. Kind of like preparing for a ceremonial ritual. You create the conditions so that you can safely fall in love without getting hurt. And then you dive into the deep knowing that you don’t have to worry about getting scraped on sharp rocks.
You also have to trust yourself as much as the other person. You have to trust that you will be able to handle it if you do get hurt. Believe in your strength, and that you will be okay. Don’t be like the young boys and girls who are scaredy cats and too afraid to talk to the opposite sex. They’re too scared to take a chance. Love is all about vulnerability. You can find great strength in being vulnerable after you have gotten used to it. It’s only uncomfortable at first. Like swimming - at first the water is bloody cold, but then your body acclimates and you feel warm. In my experience, it’s also like wearing a tank top for the first time. I was scared to do it in public because I wasn’t confident with my body, and I thought people would look at me, laugh, make fun of me, whatever. I found out that people don’t give a crap. I got used to it. Now I love experimenting and doing new things that make me feel vulnerable. It’s exciting. It’s kind of like men hide behind their stereotypical “man” clothing in society the same way that some women hide behind makeup (not all, it really depends on the reasons for using makeup). People don’t want to put themselves on the line, but that’s exactly the sort of bravery that leads to people feeling stronger and more GENUINELY confident. Who do you think is more confident in themselves - the man who wears a t-shirt, leather jacket, boots, and jeans and feels safe and comfortable only in that clothing as if it’s a suit of armor protecting him - or the man who can wear anything no matter how vulnerable it is and feels safe in his own skin, and then wears a leather jacket and pants even more confidently than the other man? You want to get to the point where you don’t need the armor to feel confident, and the armor is just the tool that offers extra protection. Otherwise it’s only the armor that has the confidence, and not you. It’s the same with love. You have to be willing to put yourself in that vulnerable position without your walls protecting you from getting hurt.
Another big thing that prevents love is that a lot of men are trained by society to be out of touch with their emotions and how they feel about things, to be out of touch with the feminine side of themselves. Men have to open themselves up to that in order to embrace this completely if they ever want to truly experience love, which most men claim they do want to do. Some women could also stand to meet their men in the middle with the masculine side of taking care of things too (and this is important because men want the masculine side of things to be acknowledged and appreciated as well), but that’s a separate topic completely. This is about love. How can anyone expect to experience love if they aren’t even open to their own emotions and the feminine side of things? Don’t worry about what society or your guy friends will think of you. Don’t worry about the judgement of others. All that matters is getting to know this side of life, getting your chance to live it and feel it. Letting go in order to experience the great ocean of the unknown. Any real man with an adventurous side should love the sound of that. Love is an adventure. It’s crazy, wild, and unknown - you never know what’s going to happen. And you get to relax your male side for a change because there’s no need to control it. Whatever happens, happens. Besides, the ones who laugh at you and make fun of you will eventually be the same ones getting jealous of you, and wanting what you have.
Putting your heart on the line isn’t easy… especially when you have been hurt before. But it is so worth it when you find someone who is worth your trust, and who proves to you every single day that they won’t hurt you, and shows you how precious you are and how much you mean to them.
Men naturally want to do that. They love doing things for their women to make them happy and please them, and they love it when those efforts are noticed. It always makes a man feel good when his woman tells him how much she appreciates him and all the things big and small that he does for her.
It goes the other way as well. It will melt a woman’s heart if a man tells her how much he appreciates her role in his life, and is able to put it into words and notice how she has affected and changed his life. Letting her know what you know intuitively - that you wouldn’t be who you are and where you are in life without her. Although as a man you need to first learn how to appreciate the feminine within yourself before you can appreciate it in your woman.
This is one of the first songs I shared with Tabby. It’s by a xian rock band which is an annoying fact, but I believe it captures the essence of what I tried to write here very well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0YvWQNWEJA
I hope this helps people who are confused, lost, or don’t know how to open themselves up. You can always do it and feel love again no matter how crushed you are. It just takes time to heal, and then you will be okay again to try again. You just have to be brave and willing to take a chance again. Each time you get your heart broken, you learn something from the experience, and you will have the wisdom to know better what to look out for with others in the future. The warning signs become more clear and easy to read. You must also always remember that not all people are the same, and somewhere out there is someone who is right for you, and they are worth betting your heart on.
Now that I have finished writing this lovely little guidebook, I have only one piece of advice to give to you: Never give your heart to a jew. I know that should be obvious and go without saying, but seriously… just don’t do it. :lol:
Good luck to all the Romeos and Juliets out there. You can do it if you try.