One Wire Phenomenon
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2020
- Messages
- 2,148
i really didn't believe in true love or like love stuff like in the movies but i feel missing without this person i feel empty and like nothing matters. i dont know how to describe it. I feel we really are meant to be together and im not talking only from a lustful perspective im talking about a deep deep deep connection i have with her that extends deep into the astral. Doesn't matter what i do like i forget about her for a while and started feeling strong like I don't need her and im over her. i had this self confident thoughts and feelings that felt relieving but tonight i felt her again on the Astral i saw her going outside looking at the moon and it was like we were both thinking of eachother at the same time. I could feel it strongly. It makes me so sad an unacceptable that im not with her and it was never meant to end like it did. We were supposed to marry and have a children
Im hopeless... I have nothing absolutely nothing if i dont have her the happyness i have is an illusion i see it now.I don't know if i have any meaning in life even if i am of Satan. i Just really feel i want to not exist if i cannot be with her. Strangely the past couple of weeks i have had a dislike towards woman or let me rather say i didn't feel the need to have sex with them or be around them. My masterbating routine has changed aswell and if i had to choose a woman or masterbating i would choose masterbating. She always said i will try to look for her in others but i won't find her. She said one day she will leave and i wont see her forever she's gone. She was my true drive in life and i fucked it up thanks to circumstances and Jewish bullshit. My connection with her will carry through to my next life and i will feel sad and will be missing this person without even knowing her. I will be lonely again. I feel i want to not exist at all and not be born again. I don't want my soul to be used as a energy battery for a discusting alien thats already the case. im fucked either way.
Please don't reply its not a real question its just me expressing something i cannot beat even if i try.
Im just taking each day as it comes. I hate the people i work with and i hate the same bullshit everyday of my life. I litterly do it for four things and thats to make my mom happy, to earn money to donate to JoS and so that i dont have to go back to that fucking farm and live with that creature thing i call grandma and of course i need to eat and stuff. There is no further meaning to my life.
My life is empty without my drive....
Im hopeless... I have nothing absolutely nothing if i dont have her the happyness i have is an illusion i see it now.I don't know if i have any meaning in life even if i am of Satan. i Just really feel i want to not exist if i cannot be with her. Strangely the past couple of weeks i have had a dislike towards woman or let me rather say i didn't feel the need to have sex with them or be around them. My masterbating routine has changed aswell and if i had to choose a woman or masterbating i would choose masterbating. She always said i will try to look for her in others but i won't find her. She said one day she will leave and i wont see her forever she's gone. She was my true drive in life and i fucked it up thanks to circumstances and Jewish bullshit. My connection with her will carry through to my next life and i will feel sad and will be missing this person without even knowing her. I will be lonely again. I feel i want to not exist at all and not be born again. I don't want my soul to be used as a energy battery for a discusting alien thats already the case. im fucked either way.
Please don't reply its not a real question its just me expressing something i cannot beat even if i try.
Im just taking each day as it comes. I hate the people i work with and i hate the same bullshit everyday of my life. I litterly do it for four things and thats to make my mom happy, to earn money to donate to JoS and so that i dont have to go back to that fucking farm and live with that creature thing i call grandma and of course i need to eat and stuff. There is no further meaning to my life.
My life is empty without my drive....