Help with a personal dilemma.

[May Flower]

This will be rather long, and will likely be confusing, so feel free to skip on this if you don't have the time.

I've gone back and forth between committing to Satanism, and not over the years. I've done the 40 day empowerment program 4 times now, but only during / upon the most recent attempt, has it really felt as if I can stick to it this time. From reading around on the forums, it's likely that the rtr's that I have done, have freed me more than I realize. I have trouble separating my thoughts from what I can only guess is attempts at telepathic communication. I try to never ask anyone to help me with my problems, and only visualize Satan's sigil, and let him know where I feel I am failing / need assistance.

Many years ago I had done a formal ritual for a succubus. I cannot remember what all I had said or requested at the time. I always go back to what I remember reading on the site, that all rituals done are real, and binding, but when I did it before, I was in a similar position. I had just finished the 40 day program, and was so lonely. However, I was not engaging in warfare back then. I had no real sensitivity to anything, now I have sensitivity, but don't know how to interpret it.

Over the last month or so, I've been fantasizing as if a succubus is with me, as would be the normal course to take, as said on the site. When I stimulate myself thinking of her, and reach completion I feel elated some days, and get an energy buzz near the base of my skull when I think about her. Then some days I can't seem to connect with her, and stimulate myself, 'by myself'. I end up feeling as if I had failed her, or myself in some way. Then I try to just shrug it off, continue with my day and try again later. I don't know if I actually have a succubus, if I'm fooling myself, if I'm manifesting an illusion to take comfort in, or how to feel about what I'm intending and attempting to manifest.

Should I do another ritual requesting for a succubus? Or should I continue to attempt at fantasizing, until a physical manifestation is present? I don't know how to proceed with this, and would like for someone with more experience to point out my errors in thought related to spiritual development. Also before I get the obligatory 'just go and date' No. I want to be with someone that can help me advance, as well as show me love, and how to love. I don't see a succubus as just a sex object, I want her to be a significant part of my life, and make her proud, show her what I've done, where I've grown and for her to show me what to work on next, to have a shared interest in my development so we can be well and truly together one day.

Thank you for your time.

 

[Henu the Great]

Should I do another ritual requesting for a succubus? Or should I continue to attempt at fantasizing, until a physical manifestation is present? I don't know how to proceed with this, and would like for someone with more experience to point out my errors in thought related to spiritual development. Also before I get the obligatory 'just go and date' No. I want to be with someone that can help me advance, as well as show me love, and how to love. I don't see a succubus as just a sex object, I want her to be a significant part of my life, and make her proud, show her what I've done, where I've grown and for her to show me what to work on next, to have a shared interest in my development so we can be well and truly together one day.

You have done a ritual, and that should be enough. Your intention is such as you look forward to the meeting. Gods must be aware of that.

Please note that the meeting is not physical, but psychic. You can feel physical things, but the manifestation is through astral.

I would suggest to keep doing what you do and do not give up. Clean the soul and empower accordingly.

At some point when you look to do more meditations look for the beginner section at the JoS meditation page and add clairvoyance and clairaudience to your daily routine.

 

[May Flower]

Thanks again. This was what I needed to hear. I saw your reply that same morning you posted, but couldn't get to making a reply. I think more than anything I needed to write that out just to help me weed out some insecurities. I was rather distraught, crying as I wrote the thing, so I apologize if it was hard to make sense of most of it. I just wanted to attempt at giving an accurate representation of my current level, and internal confliction.

 

[Henu the Great]

Thanks again. This was what I needed to hear. I saw your reply that same morning you posted, but couldn't get to making a reply. I think more than anything I needed to write that out just to help me weed out some insecurities. I was rather distraught, crying as I wrote the thing, so I apologize if it was hard to make sense of most of it. I just wanted to attempt at giving an accurate representation of my current level, and internal confliction.

It's alright, just keep on going.

Progress is made by efforts. Sometimes it is easier and sometimes harder. Know well that your efforts count.

 

[May Flower]

It's alright, just keep on going.

Progress is made by efforts. Sometimes it is easier and sometimes harder. Know well that your efforts count.

I found something. A bit down the road, just in time, in proper measure. I was never ready for a Succubus. I couldn't even take care of myself. But I am in a relationship now. She is everything I asked for, and everything I needed. Despite my lacking effort throughout these years. I have done very little for Satan, and my Guardian. I'm addicted to weed again, and struggle to bring myself back into growth. I'm still aware of my Blessings, and trying to convince myself I deserve them. Thank you so much for listening. Hail Satan.

 

[Henu the Great]

I found something. A bit down the road, just in time, in proper measure. I was never ready for a Succubus. I couldn't even take care of myself. But I am in a relationship now. She is everything I asked for, and everything I needed. Despite my lacking effort throughout these years. I have done very little for Satan, and my Guardian. I'm addicted to weed again, and struggle to bring myself back into growth. I'm still aware of my Blessings, and trying to convince myself I deserve them. Thank you so much for listening. Hail Satan.

The community is always here to help.