Funny Story!

[demonicvanguard]

The "Piss" that keeps on giving! Ave All! Many times Father affords us a few laughs at the xiatian chimpanzees and this was one of those moments so I thought I would share it with you guys. Being I'm into my middle thirties I began running a couple years ago. I do pretty well and I have entered several half marathons and I plan to do a full marathon in the spring. I live in the Midwest so running in the winter can prove to be somewhat difficult at times, but we have had some warmer weather this week so Tuesday night I decided to take an evening jog. Anyway I was about two miles from home when I had to really take a piss! And I mean really had to piss!! So I diverted from my normal route, which has a lot of residential traffic, and headed down a few side streets looking for a secluded place to relieve myself. After a few blocks I came upon a small baptist church that had a recessed porch/entry way and it just so happened that the porch light was either burnt out or it wasn't turned on. The dark secluded recess made a perfect place to do my business, for which I was grateful, and thus I proceeded to relieve myself all over the glass double doors. Now this is where it gets good! The next night (Wednesday) I was running my usual route back home and the city was doing some additional snow removal so I ended up cutting down the same back streets that I did the previous night. As I ran by the church, that I pissed on the night before, there was a bunch of people standing outside watching one guy, who must have been the pastor, trying to open the door. Now being the good-Satanist I am :- I stopped and asked if everything was all right? The man/pastor trying to open the door said: "It appears the doors are somehow frozen shut! I can't figure it out!?" I then responded by saying: "If I were you I would try pissing on it!" You would not believe the looks of horror I received from the sheeple standing outside! LOL! I finished the rest of my run laughing my arse off!!! (Disclaimer I want everyone to know that I did not set out to urinate on a church nor do I condone urinating or defecating in, on, or around churches (unless you really have to go!) I also want you to know that I'm not picking on the Baptists. I would have, without hesitation or discrimination, pissed on the doors had the church been a catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, <em>Presbyterian, or a synagogue or mosque. </em> Be well everyone and invoke something wonderful! <em>marcus</em>

 

[Matt1]

That is absolutely hilarious, I really can't stop laughing over this one, I am sure Father got a laugh out of it as well, probably eased a little of his stress!   Hail Father Satan, Matt   by the way, I sometimes respond from my personal email since this is where I have group info sent to, and sometimes I do it directly on the site, so Matt & Lindsey Lee is my personal email name is you see it (mattlindsey@...) but it's god.hater666@... when I am on the blog.  So if you see either, know it's me.   For all out there, feel free to add my yahoo to your IM, I am anxious to get to know you all and learn from those who are experienced.  I especially want those who are knew to this to invite me for I would love to grow together with others, experiences of others can help!      

----- Original Message ----- From: demonicvanguard To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] Sent: Friday, January 15, 2010 8:17 PM Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Funny Story!
  The "Piss" that keeps on giving! Ave All! Many times Father affords us a few laughs at the xiatian chimpanzees and this was one of those moments so I thought I would share it with you guys. Being I'm into my middle thirties I began running a couple years ago. I do pretty well and I have entered several half marathons and I plan to do a full marathon in the spring. I live in the Midwest so running in the winter can prove to be somewhat difficult at times, but we have had some warmer weather this week so Tuesday night I decided to take an evening jog. Anyway I was about two miles from home when I had to really take a piss! And I mean really had to piss!! So I diverted from my normal route, which has a lot of residential traffic, and headed down a few side streets looking for a secluded place to relieve myself. After a few blocks I came upon a small baptist church that had a recessed porch/entry way and it just so happened that the porch light was either burnt out or it wasn't turned on. The dark secluded recess made a perfect place to do my business, for which I was grateful, and thus I proceeded to relieve myself all over the glass double doors. Now this is where it gets good! The next night (Wednesday) I was running my usual route back home and the city was doing some additional snow removal so I ended up cutting down the same back streets that I did the previous night. As I ran by the church, that I pissed on the night before, there was a bunch of people standing outside watching one guy, who must have been the pastor, trying to open the door. Now being the good-Satanist I am :- I stopped and asked if everything was all right? The man/pastor trying to open the door said: "It appears the doors are somehow frozen shut! I can't figure it out!?" I then responded by saying: "If I were you I would try pissing on it!" You would not believe the looks of horror I received from the sheeple standing outside! LOL! I finished the rest of my run laughing my arse off!!! (Disclaimer: ) I want everyone to know that I did not set out to urinate on a church nor do I condone urinating or defecating in, on, or around churches (unless you really have to go!) I also want you to know that I'm not picking on the Baptists. I would have, without hesitation or discrimination, pissed on the doors had the church been a catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, <em>Presbyterian, or a synagogue or mosque. </em> Be well everyone and invoke something wonderful! <em>marcus</em>

 

[Allison P]

Lol! Oh, that was funny! Too bad you didn't have a camera, to capture
the stunned, horrified looks. Thanks for the laugh, Brother! Hail
Father Satan!

On 1/16/10, Matt <mattlindsey@... wrote:
That is absolutely hilarious, I really can't stop laughing over this one, I
am sure Father got a laugh out of it as well, probably eased a little of his
stress!

Hail Father Satan,
Matt

by the way, I sometimes respond from my personal email since this is where I
have group info sent to, and sometimes I do it directly on the site, so Matt
& Lindsey Lee is my personal email name is you see it
(mattlindsey@...) but it's god.hater666@... when I am on the
blog. So if you see either, know it's me.

For all out there, feel free to add my yahoo to your IM, I am anxious to get
to know you all and learn from those who are experienced. I especially want
those who are knew to this to invite me for I would love to grow together
with others, experiences of others can help!



----- Original Message -----
From: demonicvanguard
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, January 15, 2010 8:17 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Funny Story!




The "Piss" that keeps on giving!

Ave All!

Many times Father affords us a few laughs at the xiatian chimpanzees and
this was one of those moments so I thought I would share it with you guys.
Being I'm into my middle thirties I began running a couple years ago. I do
pretty well and I have entered several half marathons and I plan to do a
full marathon in the spring. I live in the Midwest so running in the winter
can prove to be somewhat difficult at times, but we have had some warmer
weather this week so Tuesday night I decided to take an evening jog. Anyway
I was about two miles from home when I had to really take a piss! And I mean
really had to piss!! So I diverted from my normal route, which has a lot of
residential traffic, and headed down a few side streets looking for a
secluded place to relieve myself. After a few blocks I came upon a small
baptist church that had a recessed porch/entry way and it just so happened
that the porch light was either burnt out or it wasn't turned on. The dark
secluded recess made a perfect place to do my business, for which I was
grateful, and thus I proceeded to relieve myself all over the glass double
doors.

Now this is where it gets good!

The next night (Wednesday) I was running my usual route back home and the
city was doing some additional snow removal so I ended up cutting down the
same back streets that I did the previous night. As I ran by the church,
that I pissed on the night before, there was a bunch of people standing
outside watching one guy, who must have been the pastor, trying to open the
door. Now being the good-Satanist I am :- I stopped and asked if everything
was all right? The man/pastor trying to open the door said: "It appears the
doors are somehow frozen shut! I can't figure it out!?" I then responded by
saying: "If I were you I would try pissing on it!" You would not believe the
looks of horror I received from the sheeple standing outside! LOL! I
finished the rest of my run laughing my arse off!!!

(Disclaimer I want everyone to know that I did not set out to urinate on
a church nor do I condone urinating or defecating in, on, or around churches
(unless you really have to go!) I also want you to know that I'm not picking
on the Baptists. I would have, without hesitation or discrimination, pissed
on the doors had the church been a catholic, Lutheran, Methodist,
Presbyterian, or a synagogue or mosque.

Be well everyone and invoke something wonderful!

marcus

 

[Frank Mutitu]

 

[william northam]

lol that's funny...Just out of couriosity if he would've peed on it would it of melted it?

On Sat, Jan 16, 2010 at 2:49 PM, Frank Mutitu <yakuzapimpin@... wrote:

 

 

[thefurtheststar]

This absolutely made my day! I remember some time ago a friend and myself did something a little similar but not as random though. Ours was more of a prank in our neighborhood during the xmas holiday.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Matt" <mattlindsey@... wrote:

That is absolutely hilarious, I really can't stop laughing over this one, I am sure Father got a laugh out of it as well, probably eased a little of his stress!

Hail Father Satan,
Matt

by the way, I sometimes respond from my personal email since this is where I have group info sent to, and sometimes I do it directly on the site, so Matt & Lindsey Lee is my personal email name is you see it (mattlindsey@...) but it's god.hater666@... when I am on the blog. So if you see either, know it's me.

For all out there, feel free to add my yahoo to your IM, I am anxious to get to know you all and learn from those who are experienced. I especially want those who are knew to this to invite me for I would love to grow together with others, experiences of others can help!



----- Original Message -----
From: demonicvanguard
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, January 15, 2010 8:17 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Funny Story!




The "Piss" that keeps on giving!

Ave All!

Many times Father affords us a few laughs at the xiatian chimpanzees and this was one of those moments so I thought I would share it with you guys. Being I'm into my middle thirties I began running a couple years ago. I do pretty well and I have entered several half marathons and I plan to do a full marathon in the spring. I live in the Midwest so running in the winter can prove to be somewhat difficult at times, but we have had some warmer weather this week so Tuesday night I decided to take an evening jog. Anyway I was about two miles from home when I had to really take a piss! And I mean really had to piss!! So I diverted from my normal route, which has a lot of residential traffic, and headed down a few side streets looking for a secluded place to relieve myself. After a few blocks I came upon a small baptist church that had a recessed porch/entry way and it just so happened that the porch light was either burnt out or it wasn't turned on. The dark secluded recess made a perfect place to do my business, for which I was grateful, and thus I proceeded to relieve myself all over the glass double doors.

Now this is where it gets good!

The next night (Wednesday) I was running my usual route back home and the city was doing some additional snow removal so I ended up cutting down the same back streets that I did the previous night. As I ran by the church, that I pissed on the night before, there was a bunch of people standing outside watching one guy, who must have been the pastor, trying to open the door. Now being the good-Satanist I am :- I stopped and asked if everything was all right? The man/pastor trying to open the door said: "It appears the doors are somehow frozen shut! I can't figure it out!?" I then responded by saying: "If I were you I would try pissing on it!" You would not believe the looks of horror I received from the sheeple standing outside! LOL! I finished the rest of my run laughing my arse off!!!

(Disclaimer I want everyone to know that I did not set out to urinate on a church nor do I condone urinating or defecating in, on, or around churches (unless you really have to go!) I also want you to know that I'm not picking on the Baptists. I would have, without hesitation or discrimination, pissed on the doors had the church been a catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, or a synagogue or mosque.

Be well everyone and invoke something wonderful!

marcus

 

[Stephen Venator]

That is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I'm half compelled to do the same thing. Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it!

From: thefurtheststar <thefurtheststar@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sun, January 17, 2010 1:05:04 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Funny Story!

  This absolutely made my day! I remember some time ago a friend and myself did something a little similar but not as random though. Ours was more of a prank in our neighborhood during the xmas holiday.

--- In JoyofSatan666@ yahoogroups. com, "Matt" <mattlindsey@ ... wrote:

That is absolutely hilarious, I really can't stop laughing over this one, I am sure Father got a laugh out of it as well, probably eased a little of his stress!

Hail Father Satan,
Matt

by the way, I sometimes respond from my personal email since this is where I have group info sent to, and sometimes I do it directly on the site, so Matt & Lindsey Lee is my personal email name is you see it (mattlindsey@ ...) but it's god.hater666@ .... when I am on the blog. So if you see either, know it's me.

For all out there, feel free to add my yahoo to your IM, I am anxious to get to know you all and learn from those who are experienced. I especially want those who are knew to this to invite me for I would love to grow together with others, experiences of others can help!



----- Original Message -----
From: demonicvanguard
To: JoyofSatan666@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Friday, January 15, 2010 8:17 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Funny Story!




The "Piss" that keeps on giving!

Ave All!

Many times Father affords us a few laughs at the xiatian chimpanzees and this was one of those moments so I thought I would share it with you guys. Being I'm into my middle thirties I began running a couple years ago. I do pretty well and I have entered several half marathons and I plan to do a full marathon in the spring. I live in the Midwest so running in the winter can prove to be somewhat difficult at times, but we have had some warmer weather this week so Tuesday night I decided to take an evening jog. Anyway I was about two miles from home when I had to really take a piss! And I mean really had to piss!! So I diverted from my normal route, which has a lot of residential traffic, and headed down a few side streets looking for a secluded place to relieve myself. After a few blocks I came upon a small baptist church that had a recessed porch/entry way and it just so happened that the porch light was either burnt out or it wasn't turned on. The dark secluded recess made a perfect place to do my business, for which I was grateful, and thus I proceeded to relieve myself all over the glass double doors.

Now this is where it gets good!

The next night (Wednesday) I was running my usual route back home and the city was doing some additional snow removal so I ended up cutting down the same back streets that I did the previous night. As I ran by the church, that I pissed on the night before, there was a bunch of people standing outside watching one guy, who must have been the pastor, trying to open the door. Now being the good-Satanist I am :- I stopped and asked if everything was all right? The man/pastor trying to open the door said: "It appears the doors are somehow frozen shut! I can't figure it out!?" I then responded by saying: "If I were you I would try pissing on it!" You would not believe the looks of horror I received from the sheeple standing outside! LOL! I finished the rest of my run laughing my arse off!!!

(Disclaimer: ) I want everyone to know that I did not set out to urinate on a church nor do I condone urinating or defecating in, on, or around churches (unless you really have to go!) I also want you to know that I'm not picking on the Baptists. I would have, without hesitation or discrimination, pissed on the doors had the church been a catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, or a synagogue or mosque.

Be well everyone and invoke something wonderful!

marcus