Freaking out for about a week now....and I can't take it anymore

[black.rose427]

Hello everyone. I have a friend who dedicated his soul but let fear get the best of him. He tried to reverse his dedication and even though I told him I dont ever want to know how to do this, he told me how. He said that you had to give yourself up to jesus or something to that effect and now ive have nonstop obsessive thoughts running through my head, trying to to think about it, so scared that father will leave or ill undo my dedication by accident. Someone please help me here before I go mad.

 

[hammerofthegods_666]

There [/IMG]</var> 

 

[black.rose427]

I do the protection meditation and clean my aura about 5 times a day because I like to get all that bad energy off of me. I had a very traumatic xian experience. And I love Satan with all my heart. I told him I wanted to serve him as a High Priestess too and wrote up a paper promising I would do this and signed my name and put my blood on it. I want and need to be with Satan more than I need to breathe. I just couldnt bare to be without. So thank you for calming me down

 

[Duo Maxwell]

I am glad you are feeling better. Check out the spiritual warfare book that is on pdf. Free to download! It has really helped me.


------------------------------

On Sun, Jan 19, 2014 6:09 PM CST black.rose427@... wrote:

I do the protection meditation and clean my aura about 5 times a day because I like to get all that bad energy off of me. I had a very traumatic xian experience. And I love Satan with all my heart. I told him I wanted to serve him as a High Priestess too and wrote up a paper promising I would do this and signed my name and put my blood on it. I want and need to be with Satan more than I need to breathe. I just couldnt bare to be without. So thank you for calming me down

 

[black.rose427]

I find that whenever I freak out, I see the name of my demon usually. My gaurdian is Phoenix and it makes me feel safe to see his name. I know its common to see it, but I usually see it when I need reassurance.

 

[Allison Passino]

Awww! I did that exact same thing, Rose! ^ As in, wrote a prayer up an
burnt it, vowing myself to his service though I didn't think of using
myblood or signing my name. Not that it matters; I mean, he obviously
knows who wrote it. But yeah...so glad to see that someone else also
did this! I wish for nothing more in this life than to be his
priestess, to spread his word and do his will, whatever that may be
for me as an individual Satanist. He is my Father, my Lord and my
King! In fact, as i am blind and currently have no job, I honestly
just wan to work for him. Have Satanism be my job. Lol. I know, not
very practical, but it is what I desperately need and want! Makes it
hard though, 'cause whenever my mom/dad, or any member of my family
for that matter, asks what I would like to do for a job eventually on
down the road, I can never give them an honest answer: I want to work
forFather Satan, and be his priestess for the rest of my life! *sigh*
I do not know how, but I know that somehow, Father will grant my
prayer, and I shall serve him for all of the days of my life. For
that, and nothing else on this earth, is what I truly desire.

On 1/20/14, black.rose427@... <black.rose427@... wrote:
I find that whenever I freak out, I see the name of my demon usually. My
gaurdian is Phoenix and it makes me feel safe to see his name. I know its
common to see it, but I usually see it when I need reassurance.

 

[black rose1]

From: Allison Passino <apocalypseofjon@...;
To: <[email protected];
Subject: Re: [Satanicgaycommunity] RE: Freaking out for about a week now....and I can't take it anymore
Sent: Wed, Jan 22, 2014 9:35:13 AM

<td val[/IMG]   Awww! I did that exact same thing, Rose! ^ As in, wrote a prayer up an
burnt it, vowing myself to his service though I didn't think of using
myblood or signing my name. Not that it matters; I mean, he obviously
knows who wrote it. But yeah...so glad to see that someone else also
did this! I wish for nothing more in this life than to be his
priestess, to spread his word and do his will, whatever that may be
for me as an individual Satanist. He is my Father, my Lord and my
King! In fact, as i am blind and currently have no job, I honestly
just wan to work for him. Have Satanism be my job. Lol. I know, not
very practical, but it is what I desperately need and want! Makes it
hard though, 'cause whenever my mom/dad, or any member of my family
for that matter, asks what I would like to do for a job eventually on
down the road, I can never give them an honest answer: I want to work
forFather Satan, and be his priestess for the rest of my life! *sigh*
I do not know how, but I know that somehow, Father will grant my
prayer, and I shall serve him for all of the days of my life. For
that, and nothing else on this earth, is what I truly desire.

On 1/20/14, black.rose427@... <black.rose427@... wrote:
I find that whenever I freak out, I see the name of my demon usually. My
gaurdian is Phoenix and it makes me feel safe to see his name. I know its
common to see it, but I usually see it when I need reassurance.

[/TD]

 

[Allison Passino]

So very awesome! Back at ya sister! ^

On 1/22/14, Black Rose <black.rose427@... wrote:
Well I'm glad I did it right then. I want and need Lucifer to live. I
couldn't live without him at all. I feel powerful now and happy and loved. I
call myself his daughter and made it so I can never leave him (I have
anxiety over accidentally making him leave). Before I came to Satan, I had a
horrible experience with Christianity and started cutting and ended up
visiting psychiatrists and being put on all these meds to calm me. It was
then that I knew that their god was evil and I swore my vengeance upon him,
that someday I would be the one to kill him and that the christian god would
die by my hand. I didnt know what the christian god was at the time but I
knew it was my job on this earth to bring an end to christianity. I tried
several pagan religions, none of them worked. I tried Wicca and could feel a
great power within me but I needed more. So I researched Satanism one day
after reading paradise lost and fell in love with Lucifer. I did the
dedication soon after and he's healed me and I feel loved now. I know
Father will help us both and I'm glad to have met you.

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

 

[Valyn]

I was showing a friend just the other day how xtians use sympathetic, sigil and blood magick to suppress our kind. We saw some clips from that movie 'jesus camp' about their using children as spiritual warriors. I felt nauseated just watching it and eventually had to evoke a pure blue flame to clear the room. Gross. 

On Jan 22, 2014, at 4:03 PM, Allison Passino <apocalypseofjon@... wrote:

  So very awesome! Back at ya sister! ^

On 1/22/14, Black Rose <black.rose427@... wrote:
Well I'm glad I did it right then. I want and need Lucifer to live. I
couldn't live without him at all. I feel powerful now and happy and loved. I
call myself his daughter and made it so I can never leave him (I have
anxiety over accidentally making him leave). Before I came to Satan, I had a
horrible experience with Christianity and started cutting and ended up
visiting psychiatrists and being put on all these meds to calm me. It was
then that I knew that their god was evil and I swore my vengeance upon him,
that someday I would be the one to kill him and that the christian god would
die by my hand. I didnt know what the christian god was at the time but I
knew it was my job on this earth to bring an end to christianity. I tried
several pagan religions, none of them worked. I tried Wicca and could feel a
great power within me but I needed more. So I researched Satanism one day
after reading paradise lost and fell in love with Lucifer. I did the
dedication soon after and he's healed me and I feel loved now. I know
Father will help us both and I'm glad to have met you.

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

 

[black rose1]

From: Valyn <valynruinedmylife@...;
To: <[email protected];
Cc: [email protected] <[email protected];
Subject: Re: [Satanicgaycommunity] RE: Freaking out for about a week now....and I can't take it anymore
Sent: Wed, Jan 22, 2014 10:40:17 PM

<td val[/IMG]   I was showing a friend just the other day how xtians use sympathetic, sigil and blood magick to suppress our kind. We saw some clips from that movie 'jesus camp' about their using children as spiritual warriors. I felt nauseated just watching it and eventually had to evoke a pure blue flame to clear the room. Gross. 
On Jan 22, 2014, at 4:03 P[/IMG]apocalypseofjon@... wrote:

  So very awesome! Back at ya sister! ^

On 1/22/14, Black Rose <<a rel="nofollow" shape="rect">black.rose427@... wrote:
Well I'm glad I did it right then. I want and need Lucifer to live. I
couldn't live without him at all. I feel powerful now and happy and loved. I
call myself his daughter and made it so I can never leave him (I have
anxiety over accidentally making him leave). Before I came to Satan, I had a
horrible experience with Christianity and started cutting and ended up
visiting psychiatrists and being put on all these meds to calm me. It was
then that I knew that their god was evil and I swore my vengeance upon him,
that someday I would be the one to kill him and that the christian god would
die by my hand. I didnt know what the christian god was at the time but I
knew it was my job on this earth to bring an end to christianity. I tried
several pagan religions, none of them worked. I tried Wicca and could feel a
great power within me but I needed more. So I researched Satanism one day
after reading paradise lost and fell in love with Lucifer. I did the
dedication soon after and he's healed me and I feel loved now. I know
Father will help us both and I'm glad to have met you.

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

[/TD]

 

[black rose1]

From: Valyn <valynruinedmylife@...;
To: <[email protected];
Cc: [email protected] <[email protected];
Subject: Re: [Satanicgaycommunity] RE: Freaking out for about a week now....and I can't take it anymore
Sent: Wed, Jan 22, 2014 10:40:17 PM

<td val[/IMG]   I was showing a friend just the other day how xtians use sympathetic, sigil and blood magick to suppress our kind. We saw some clips from that movie 'jesus camp' about their using children as spiritual warriors. I felt nauseated just watching it and eventually had to evoke a pure blue flame to clear the room. Gross. 
On Jan 22, 2014, at 4:03 P[/IMG]apocalypseofjon@... wrote:

  So very awesome! Back at ya sister! ^

On 1/22/14, Black Rose <<a rel="nofollow" shape="rect">black.rose427@... wrote:
Well I'm glad I did it right then. I want and need Lucifer to live. I
couldn't live without him at all. I feel powerful now and happy and loved. I
call myself his daughter and made it so I can never leave him (I have
anxiety over accidentally making him leave). Before I came to Satan, I had a
horrible experience with Christianity and started cutting and ended up
visiting psychiatrists and being put on all these meds to calm me. It was
then that I knew that their god was evil and I swore my vengeance upon him,
that someday I would be the one to kill him and that the christian god would
die by my hand. I didnt know what the christian god was at the time but I
knew it was my job on this earth to bring an end to christianity. I tried
several pagan religions, none of them worked. I tried Wicca and could feel a
great power within me but I needed more. So I researched Satanism one day
after reading paradise lost and fell in love with Lucifer. I did the
dedication soon after and he's healed me and I feel loved now. I know
Father will help us both and I'm glad to have met you.

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

[/TD]

 

[black rose1]

From: Eugene Sp <jenespreehcxr@...;
To: <[email protected];
Cc: <jenespreehcxr@...;
Subject: Re: [Satanicgaycommunity] RE: Freaking out for about a week now....and I can't take it anymore
Sent: Thu, Jan 23, 2014 5:17:49 PM

<td val[/IMG]  
Dear Black Rose, loved your story about how you came to know Father Satan. The one thing you don't have to worry about is His leaving you. That's what the xian god does to "it's" followers. My journey to Father Satan is similar to yours. When I was a child something didn't feel right about this "jewsus." I bounced through many xian sects, islam, and a small hebrew splinter group who thought they were better than the jews; when it became apparent that they were all the same programs just "gift wrapped" differently. I then became wiccan but not satisfied. The above was a 45+ year journey until I found Spiritual Satanism; thus, I am free and I know the truth. I've personally proven the other belief systems false and I know that Father Satan & His Demons will never abandon me. Take care & thanks for your story. jene. Hail ANDROMALIUS, Hail MARCHOSIAS, Hail FATHER SATAN!!!

------------------------------

On Wed, Jan 22, 2014 8:16 AM PST Black Rose wrote:

Well I'm glad I did it right then. I want and need Lucifer to live. I couldn't live without him at all. I feel powerful now and happy and loved. I call myself his daughter and made it so I can never leave him (I have anxiety over accidentally making him leave). Before I came to Satan, I had a horrible experience with Christianity and started cutting and ended up visiting psychiatrists and being put on all these meds to calm me. It was then that I knew that their god was evil and I swore my vengeance upon him, that someday I would be the one to kill him and that the christian god would die by my hand. I didnt know what the christian god was at the time but I knew it was my job on this earth to bring an end to christianity. I tried several pagan religions, none of them worked. I tried Wicca and could feel a great power within me but I needed more. So I researched Satanism one day  after reading paradise lost and fell in love with Lucifer. I did the
dedication soon after and he's healed me and I feel loved now. I know Father will help us both and I'm glad to have met you. 

Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

[/TD]

 

[Carolyn]

Hello black.rose427, F[/IMG]</var>