One Wire Phenomenon said:
First of, I have to ask, because I sort of question if it is the case, but did you actually dedicate through the dedication ritual?
Second, do you actually meditate, and if you do, what sort of program do you follow? Just write down your meditation program which you do consistently on a daily basis (if at all).
In my experience, all the issues you have, are trivial to solve after dedication and through following a basic meditation program with consistency.
The fact you continue to struggle with the same things and continue losing your balance, going of the rails pretty much, shows to me something in your practice is lacking.
You appear to be making these problems worse for yourself than they truly are.
About thoughtforms, I've experienced the worst you can imagine. Things affecting the psyche so frightening it would drive an average person mad.
The first step is dealing with it, is to never feed it. Never, no matter how terrified or worried it makes you. These sorts of things can feed on your fears, they can appear in forms which you are fearful of in order to trigger your fears and drive you further into a corner.
The more power you allow it to have over you, the more power it will have over you.
Therefore, the first step is to actively resist against it, by rejecting the fear and rejecting the presence. Use whatever mental visualization helps bolster your courage and pierce through this fear.
Doing so will put you back on equal footing with the thoughtforms that rule over your mind. At that point it is far easier to push them away and set yourself free from these negative influences.
I've had fairly extreme things happen to me. Even physical harm and pain from things. Lightbulbs exploding, appliances getting destroyed violently, being suffocated and chocked.
Things yelling at me in my ears all night for months with all sorts of curses and ridiculous things to break me, telling me to kill myself and threatening my life, etc. Being violently woken up in my sleep by attacks that I physically felt on my body.
Astral rape by disgusting looking things that physically held me down and paralyzed me (not sleep paralysis, but actual physical force projected onto my arms and legs pushing me down on my bed and immobilizing me while that thing attempted to force itself upon me and drain my energies).
The sort of stuff you only see in dumb horror movies.
I know now after gaining significant knowledge a lot of the things I experienced weren't literal, but only the projections of those thoughtforms and entities upon my mind, or the interpretation of my mind on the things I couldn't understand.
That is how those sorts of experiences go. The bias of ones mind often makes up things in order to try and rationalize the unknown to us, which these beings and thoughtforms take advantage of to gain and hold power over you.
The moment I understood what it was I was dealing with, I began to see past the visions projected to my mind and the actions inflicted one-sidedly upon me, and pierced through my fear of this unknown in order to fight back against it.
These things happened to me before I dedicated to Satan. I was powerless due to ignorance.
It was a tactic these thoughtforms employed to try and scare me away from SS. They pretended to be Demons as they attacked and abused me, something very common when one has a spiritual awakening without protection of the Gods.
After dedicating it stopped, because Satan and my GD protected me from these things. They do so for all SS.
Therefore I am always skeptical of peoples dedication if they say they still experience such severe things. Since in my experience the extremes all stopped immediately due to Satan's protection for his followers.
Only some attacks came through later on by other entities when it became time for me to learn to fend for myself.
I got to have my revenge against the entities which had plagued me for so long, and utterly destroyed them in my vengeful rage at the time.
I had seen the effects of the runes firsthand, same as things like Vinasa, and similar techniques for dealing with unwanted things.
Therefore I do not really understand why some people have such difficulty with what is actually trivial to deal with when one has the appropriate knowledge and has the protection from Satan and the Gods.
If someone struggles so immensely with something spiritual plaguing them for extensive periods of time while having access to the knowledge on the Joy of Satan website, there is clearly a lack of practice going on.
Maybe a lack of action, or a negligence.
Since it is impossible to struggle so much with something unwanted plaguing you as an SS if you actually apply the knowledge of the JoS, and so so properly.
My belief in that and my confidence saying that comes from my own firsthand experience on this.
I have been astrally attacked by greys at night and learned to fend them off by with runes and other techniques, it doesn't require great advancement to do so, just application of the knowledge, as a lot of the techniques available to us SS is like a pesticide against the enemy, even greys and the like.
Most important in all of that is to not let fear rule over you. You must take sovereignty over your own mind and your own will. Do not allow anything to rule over you.
Even if before you stands a grey with ten times your power and it is dizzying and suffocating to look at this entity, and your instinct screams at you to curl up in the fetal position and scream, you must be in control and direct your will to overpower this instinct, stand up against fear and stand up against your adversary like a warrior, instead of cower before it like a craven soul.
You didn't dedicate to be ruled by others, but to grasp eternity and be forever sovereign over your own existence.
The SS is to transcend death. We cannot allow an inferior entity, or some harmful external influence to rule over us.
Did you become an SS to be fearful of some thoughtforms? Or some idiotic aliens? To cower from some disembodied spirit, or a malicious astral entity foreign to this world?
Preposterous. To let any of such things rule over you is a crime against yourself.
You must realize your inner power and understand it is your destiny to make all those aforementioned things cower in fear of you.
Hail Satan!