MercuryWisdom
Well-known member
Hey brothers and sisters of Satan.
So ever since I started college I've been feeling extremely unproductive. I also have difficulty being productive because of college which feels and takes the time of a full-time job.
During the vacation before college started I was intensely productive and proactive. I worked out three times a week, went swimming another 3 days, I was advancing a bunch and had my kundalini activated then, I was reading and listening to audiobooks, I was making a bunch of money and getting satisfied clients. I didn't watch much porn. I was happy...
Now ever since I started my college which legitmitaly takes all of my day and makes me more exhausted than an intense gym weight lifting session because of having to commute for 2 hours.
Currently, I am addicted to the shittiest and unsatisfying porn (my biggest problem), I have no energy, I eat the most unhealthy food, I am gaining weight fast, I feel sluggish, I don't get any work done, I want to workout but I don't. I tried to start during college but I eventually got incosistent and failed, my aura and chakras are extremely filthy and I feel dirty, I feel in such a low mental and emotional state.
I still do my meditations and spiritual essentials but other than my daily meditations I am not being consistent with anything else.
Now since I am a guy that ties his happiness with his productivity.. I feel largely unhappy and unsatisfied. I feel low and I am starting to hate myself.
On the other side I did get good grades at college which I am happy with. I want to do even better. But I want to be productive in life as a whole in all my passions. Not only college..
Now I am sure these are my problems and for now I am just venting. Because some people will give me advice to do workings.. Believe me I tried doing some workings but only failed to be consistent and didn't get anywhere. So, I can't do workings. I tried even to do a 10-minute working but also failed..
I feel so bad and awful. I really hate this solar return year of mine. Ever since my birthday came and I had nothing but shit.
Hail Satan..
So ever since I started college I've been feeling extremely unproductive. I also have difficulty being productive because of college which feels and takes the time of a full-time job.
During the vacation before college started I was intensely productive and proactive. I worked out three times a week, went swimming another 3 days, I was advancing a bunch and had my kundalini activated then, I was reading and listening to audiobooks, I was making a bunch of money and getting satisfied clients. I didn't watch much porn. I was happy...
Now ever since I started my college which legitmitaly takes all of my day and makes me more exhausted than an intense gym weight lifting session because of having to commute for 2 hours.
Currently, I am addicted to the shittiest and unsatisfying porn (my biggest problem), I have no energy, I eat the most unhealthy food, I am gaining weight fast, I feel sluggish, I don't get any work done, I want to workout but I don't. I tried to start during college but I eventually got incosistent and failed, my aura and chakras are extremely filthy and I feel dirty, I feel in such a low mental and emotional state.
I still do my meditations and spiritual essentials but other than my daily meditations I am not being consistent with anything else.
Now since I am a guy that ties his happiness with his productivity.. I feel largely unhappy and unsatisfied. I feel low and I am starting to hate myself.
On the other side I did get good grades at college which I am happy with. I want to do even better. But I want to be productive in life as a whole in all my passions. Not only college..
Now I am sure these are my problems and for now I am just venting. Because some people will give me advice to do workings.. Believe me I tried doing some workings but only failed to be consistent and didn't get anywhere. So, I can't do workings. I tried even to do a 10-minute working but also failed..
I feel so bad and awful. I really hate this solar return year of mine. Ever since my birthday came and I had nothing but shit.
Hail Satan..