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Falling for broken, evil people. How to heal.

MercuryWisdom

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Feb 27, 2019
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Hey, brothers and sisters.
I wanted to talk and ask some help about something.

So, I didn't have the best childhood. Manipulative, arrogant, weak father. My mother is a good person but she is unfortunately a victim of a lot of issues caused by her life as well.

She used to be manipulative, controlling, paranoid, and obsessive. Although, my mother is the best person (strong, noble, hardworking, loving, caring.) I know she still has some issues she will have to deal with. She and my father had an awful relationship and marriage.

But that's not the point it might be some context.

Anyway, it recently have made itself obvious to me that I keep falling for broken, evil, narcisstic, sadistic, and cruel people.

They don't seem like it for me at first and I keep wanting to help them, save them, protect them, be there for them. And really just be a loving and great person. Which they exploit endlessly without even reciprocating it or feeling the need to. They might love bomb me at first to get me attached but once they know they own my heart they don't give two fucks.

The sad thing is I am always constantly traumatized by my people. And all the people around me. Friends, lovers, and family. I get badly backstabbed and sometimes I get serious PTSD.

I am a good person and I have always been to them and I always try to make them happy and better. I feel like I should be loved because I have so much good stuff going for me. But people keep breaking me and rejecting and slandering every good thing about me.

I feel like I can't be really loved no matter how good looking, ambitious, loving, caring, stylish, successful, poetic, intelligent I am. It doesn't matter how much I improve or succeed I just can't be loved it seems.

They like these traits at first and are so in awe and inspired and in love by them but once I open up they don't give two shit and will actually get envious and try to put me down and break me and hate everything good about me.

Love, intimacy, and sex are so crucial for me and my wellbeing. But I have been so deprived and sad because of it ever since my childhood.

It feels like sharing the karma of father Satan and people like Adolf Hitler. Where no matter how good, amazing, truthful, noble beyond belief and divine a person can be they just get called the baddest guy, the evilest of evil, an insane individual, the liar, etc.


I don't know what to do. If being good makes me "the devil" and being bad is not me, not my identity and I can't lie to myself. Then what can I really do to be happy?

To not be so lonely and alone like this... to stop being backstabbed and destroyed and my hands bitten and infected by the same persons I want to feed and nurture.

Also, how can I heal effectively? How can I overcome this undeserved karma..
 
mercury_wisdom said:
Hey, brothers and sisters.
I wanted to talk and ask some help about something.

So, I didn't have the best childhood. Manipulative, arrogant, weak father. My mother is a good person but she is unfortunately a victim of a lot of issues caused by her life as well.

She used to be manipulative, controlling, paranoid, and obsessive. Although, my mother is the best person (strong, noble, hardworking, loving, caring.) I know she still has some issues she will have to deal with. She and my father had an awful relationship and marriage.

But that's not the point it might be some context.

Anyway, it recently have made itself obvious to me that I keep falling for broken, evil, narcisstic, sadistic, and cruel people.

They don't seem like it for me at first and I keep wanting to help them, save them, protect them, be there for them. And really just be a loving and great person. Which they exploit endlessly without even reciprocating it or feeling the need to. They might love bomb me at first to get me attached but once they know they own my heart they don't give two fucks.

The sad thing is I am always constantly traumatized by my people. And all the people around me. Friends, lovers, and family. I get badly backstabbed and sometimes I get serious PTSD.

I am a good person and I have always been to them and I always try to make them happy and better. I feel like I should be loved because I have so much good stuff going for me. But people keep breaking me and rejecting and slandering every good thing about me.

I feel like I can't be really loved no matter how good looking, ambitious, loving, caring, stylish, successful, poetic, intelligent I am. It doesn't matter how much I improve or succeed I just can't be loved it seems.

They like these traits at first and are so in awe and inspired and in love by them but once I open up they don't give two shit and will actually get envious and try to put me down and break me and hate everything good about me.

Love, intimacy, and sex are so crucial for me and my wellbeing. But I have been so deprived and sad because of it ever since my childhood.

It feels like sharing the karma of father Satan and people like Adolf Hitler. Where no matter how good, amazing, truthful, noble beyond belief and divine a person can be they just get called the baddest guy, the evilest of evil, an insane individual, the liar, etc.


I don't know what to do. If being good makes me "the devil" and being bad is not me, not my identity and I can't lie to myself. Then what can I really do to be happy?

To not be so lonely and alone like this... to stop being backstabbed and destroyed and my hands bitten and infected by the same persons I want to feed and nurture.

Also, how can I heal effectively? How can I overcome this undeserved karma..

I'm very sorry you have ahd to go through this. I relate strongly to your struggles, as nearly every friendship, parental relation, and my relationships with lovers has been very toxic and not good whatsoever.

My entire life I've had to settle for less. And seemingly by fate I've always ended up in circumstances that left me partially dependent on those around me, or led to people in my life being very dependent on me.

Toxic situations can break a person amd are very trying depending on the severity of the circumstances.

My advice to you is do a freeing the soul working in regards to love and relationships and see if this helps.

Look towards also studying astrology and finding compatibility with future partners and love interests using knowledge of astrology.

Lastly, know that you are not alone in this. Some times we are dealt very cruel cards by fate and our past life karma that can make certain aspects of our life a nightmare from time to time.

Know that in time things can be better and stay positive. Detach as you are able to from bad friendships, and any other sort of relations you feel that have been toxic. But be sure to judge this accordingly and in a just manner, as when emotions were involved it can sometimes be hard to see thing correctly when we have been so wronged throughout our lives.

Good luck and may you be free of these circumstances that bring you such pain. We are here for you and you always have a family under Satan and the Gods.

The Gods are there for you as well. Be open to signs if you ask for guidance. It can come in various ways.
 
Ok, so here is the meditation:
Begin at the waning part of a full moon [from the full to the new phase], a full Satanic rosary should be said, vibrating the word 'MUNKA' 108 times. YOU MUST DO THIS FOR FORTY DAYS STRAIGHT WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS IN THE DAYS! This is pronounced 'MMUUUUUU-NNNN-YAH-KAH.' I can't put in the Sanskrit lettering here as the yahoo does not support this font. The 'N' is like the Spanish Enyay. The above example for the pronunciation is 100% correct and works wonders.


When you are finished with the vibration, you need to do your affirmation for 9 times. 9 is the number of endings for workings like this.

For example: Engulf yourself in white-gold light like the sun and affirm:
"I am totally and completely free from [whatever is binding or hindering you]."


https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Words-of-Power.html
 
serpentwalker666 said:
mercury_wisdom said:
Hey, brothers and sisters.
I wanted to talk and ask some help about something.

So, I didn't have the best childhood. Manipulative, arrogant, weak father. My mother is a good person but she is unfortunately a victim of a lot of issues caused by her life as well.

She used to be manipulative, controlling, paranoid, and obsessive. Although, my mother is the best person (strong, noble, hardworking, loving, caring.) I know she still has some issues she will have to deal with. She and my father had an awful relationship and marriage.

But that's not the point it might be some context.

Anyway, it recently have made itself obvious to me that I keep falling for broken, evil, narcisstic, sadistic, and cruel people.

They don't seem like it for me at first and I keep wanting to help them, save them, protect them, be there for them. And really just be a loving and great person. Which they exploit endlessly without even reciprocating it or feeling the need to. They might love bomb me at first to get me attached but once they know they own my heart they don't give two fucks.

The sad thing is I am always constantly traumatized by my people. And all the people around me. Friends, lovers, and family. I get badly backstabbed and sometimes I get serious PTSD.

I am a good person and I have always been to them and I always try to make them happy and better. I feel like I should be loved because I have so much good stuff going for me. But people keep breaking me and rejecting and slandering every good thing about me.

I feel like I can't be really loved no matter how good looking, ambitious, loving, caring, stylish, successful, poetic, intelligent I am. It doesn't matter how much I improve or succeed I just can't be loved it seems.

They like these traits at first and are so in awe and inspired and in love by them but once I open up they don't give two shit and will actually get envious and try to put me down and break me and hate everything good about me.

Love, intimacy, and sex are so crucial for me and my wellbeing. But I have been so deprived and sad because of it ever since my childhood.

It feels like sharing the karma of father Satan and people like Adolf Hitler. Where no matter how good, amazing, truthful, noble beyond belief and divine a person can be they just get called the baddest guy, the evilest of evil, an insane individual, the liar, etc.


I don't know what to do. If being good makes me "the devil" and being bad is not me, not my identity and I can't lie to myself. Then what can I really do to be happy?

To not be so lonely and alone like this... to stop being backstabbed and destroyed and my hands bitten and infected by the same persons I want to feed and nurture.

Also, how can I heal effectively? How can I overcome this undeserved karma..

I'm very sorry you have ahd to go through this. I relate strongly to your struggles, as nearly every friendship, parental relation, and my relationships with lovers has been very toxic and not good whatsoever.

My entire life I've had to settle for less. And seemingly by fate I've always ended up in circumstances that left me partially dependent on those around me, or led to people in my life being very dependent on me.

Toxic situations can break a person amd are very trying depending on the severity of the circumstances.

My advice to you is do a freeing the soul working in regards to love and relationships and see if this helps.

Look towards also studying astrology and finding compatibility with future partners and love interests using knowledge of astrology.

Lastly, know that you are not alone in this. Some times we are dealt very cruel cards by fate and our past life karma that can make certain aspects of our life a nightmare from time to time.

Know that in time things can be better and stay positive. Detach as you are able to from bad friendships, and any other sort of relations you feel that have been toxic. But be sure to judge this accordingly and in a just manner, as when emotions were involved it can sometimes be hard to see thing correctly when we have been so wronged throughout our lives.

Good luck and may you be free of these circumstances that bring you such pain. We are here for you and you always have a family under Satan and the Gods.

The Gods are there for you as well. Be open to signs if you ask for guidance. It can come in various ways.
Thank you very much for your kind words and advice brother.

I hope you feel better too.
 
mercury_wisdom said:

As Henu described, a freeing working is needing to fully remove any negativity here. However, this can be painful to go through, as this may entail going through the entirety of the pain, depending on your affirmation.

Feeling actually unsafe is related to the moon, whereas feeling romantically unloved relates to Venus. The moon relates to love from the family, but this is not romantic intimacy.

What you could do now is use Wunjo to simply increase your happiness, as this extends over many social spheres. This is kind of like an indirect solution to aid your mental state, without having to directly confront any trauma just yet.

Any new relationships need to be facilitated not by your existing karma, but through Gebo or Venus energy, which will do a better job at attracting a positive relationship, than what your soul's energy is currently "seeking", if that makes sense.

Gebo can also be used to restore harmony to existing relationships, which can avoid some degree of negative manifestations. However, on a permanent basis, you will want to eventually clear out at least the worst of these upsets with a freeing working.

Perhaps you can spend 40 days on Wunjo, then 40-80 days with Munka. At this point, you can use Gebo to permanently attract and maintain a healthy relationship, and this can be extended out long enough to remove the rest of the remaining negative karma, whilst also attracting a positive relationship for you.

The above is something that is not too long, but will give a solid step in the right direction. It may be naive to think that just 40 days of Munka is enough to clear out all the karma, but doing the above should help enough to where anything does not manifest as badly as it previously has been for you.
 
Blitzkreig [JG said:
" post_id=437991 time=1682113519 user_id=21286]
mercury_wisdom said:

As Henu described, a freeing working is needing to fully remove any negativity here. However, this can be painful to go through, as this may entail going through the entirety of the pain, depending on your affirmation.

Feeling actually unsafe is related to the moon, whereas feeling romantically unloved relates to Venus. The moon relates to love from the family, but this is not romantic intimacy.

What you could do now is use Wunjo to simply increase your happiness, as this extends over many social spheres. This is kind of like an indirect solution to aid your mental state, without having to directly confront any trauma just yet.

Any new relationships need to be facilitated not by your existing karma, but through Gebo or Venus energy, which will do a better job at attracting a positive relationship, than what your soul's energy is currently "seeking", if that makes sense.

Gebo can also be used to restore harmony to existing relationships, which can avoid some degree of negative manifestations. However, on a permanent basis, you will want to eventually clear out at least the worst of these upsets with a freeing working.

Perhaps you can spend 40 days on Wunjo, then 40-80 days with Munka. At this point, you can use Gebo to permanently attract and maintain a healthy relationship, and this can be extended out long enough to remove the rest of the remaining negative karma, whilst also attracting a positive relationship for you.

The above is something that is not too long, but will give a solid step in the right direction. It may be naive to think that just 40 days of Munka is enough to clear out all the karma, but doing the above should help enough to where anything does not manifest as badly as it previously has been for you.
Hey, brother thank you.
I was looking forward to your reply.

I did want to and felt ready to finally do a freeing the soul working. (Although I am slightly afraid of the pain and backlash that I will have to face as I am feeling kind of sensitive. But I think it's about time.)

I just have no idea which area to target. Is it past traumas from friends, or relationships, or family, or cutting ties with toxic people I used to know and detaching. I am not sure really. Maybe I can email you for more detailed info about this?

I have been currently doing 40 days for sowilo and nauthiz to help strengthen my resolve and also a spiritual sun square which I am almost done with.

I am also having troubles regarding sexuality and stuff and will have to do a working for it too it seems.
 
mercury_wisdom said:
Hey, brother thank you.
I was looking forward to your reply.

I did want to and felt ready to finally do a freeing the soul working. (Although I am slightly afraid of the pain and backlash that I will have to face as I am feeling kind of sensitive. But I think it's about time.)

I just have no idea which area to target. Is it past traumas from friends, or relationships, or family, or cutting ties with toxic people I used to know and detaching. I am not sure really. Maybe I can email you for more detailed info about this?

I have been currently doing 40 days for sowilo and nauthiz to help strengthen my resolve and also a spiritual sun square which I am almost done with.

I am also having troubles regarding sexuality and stuff and will have to do a working for it too it seems.

Restoring happiness with family and friends may be easier to do, but they may not always provide as deep of a connection as a romantic lover.

Wunjo extends across all social spheres, but this can also make it unspecific. I wouldn't use it specifically for love, for example. Similar with Munka, you can program it in a way like "This energy has permanently removed any karmic obstacles to my social, family, or love life, in the best way for me." x9

The above would focus on whichever obstacles are hurting you the most, but it works between all the possible connections you can have to other people. This extends towards sexual issues that may arise from a fear of intimacy.

Sexual issues coming from porn are a bit different. In this case, the arousal pathways are incorrectly "wired". Also similar to this can be feelings of low energy. Low Mars energy, as a result of fatigue or current poor health, will sap your ability to be aroused.

Both of the above cases can be helped by using Mars energy to stimulate yourself before a sexual encounter. In the case of premature ejaculation, you would want to use a calming energy instead, and also focus on breathing exercises. Focusing on the exhale can help a man delay excessive stimulation, for example.

Mars will be in Leo soon and this can be used to increase sexual performance.

---------------------

Yes, toxic people should be cut, as it is not your responsibility to change them. If this person was close to you, however, then you can make one remaining effort to tell them how you feel, and that the relationship is close to its end.

This can be very difficult, but they need to know how you feel. If you are passive, this does not mean you are at fault for their abuse, but you also need to enforce "justice" by making it clear that you are hurt. Invoke Mars or Solar energy for confidence and call or text them.

If they are unable to fix their behavior, then block them and detach from them, as otherwise they will just drag you down.

In regards to karma, this can attract people which hurt us, as well as give us fears of intimacy, either from past lives or this life. This can be difficult as it may induce a person to adopt self-defense behaviors, and I have definitely been there myself in this way. The problem is that this stops the free-flow of energy which defines love.

By removing negative karma in any of our relationships, this can change existing behaviors with people, as well as change our future so that we no longer attract this from others.

Yes, this process can be difficult as you may feel negative sensations, but it is also mitigated by cleaning of the upper chakras. After feelings of karmic pain, you will feel much better afterwards. The fear of pain will stop feeling so strong, and you will feel able to relax more.
 
mercury_wisdom said:
You could try rituals of the Gods.

That of Abrasax to free you from negative connections and influences.

Even if you interact with people, you will hardly be influenced at all.

The ritual for Andras can protect you from the unjust, and people will think twice before being evil.

Valefor ritual to heal all wounds and traumas.

This ritual combo should make you detached to a good level where people pay respect and do not allow themselves to do certain things.

Try it.
 
Vira_ said:
mercury_wisdom said:
You could try rituals of the Gods.

That of Abrasax to free you from negative connections and influences.

Even if you interact with people, you will hardly be influenced at all.

The ritual for Andras can protect you from the unjust, and people will think twice before being evil.

Valefor ritual to heal all wounds and traumas.

This ritual combo should make you detached to a good level where people pay respect and do not allow themselves to do certain things.

Try it.
Good idea. Thanks.
 
Abyssos said:
Over two thirds of men around the world are in your shoes. Your experience is the common experience of men, and has been for centuries, if not millennia. It's going to take an overwhelming amount of effort to change these circumstances, and even then, there are uncomfortable facts in all this that are too morbid to type about, speak about, or think about. These infohazards will have to be buried and covered up in the future. I think I just realized why Friedrich Nietzche spoke positively about forgetfulness.

And everything you describe is due to the toxic jewish ideology with which they have poisoned the minds of the masses for centuries such as feminism and machismo to keep men and women divided and then turn the tables on them with things like MGTOW and the like to continue perpetuating the kosher poison.

That's another reason why I refuse to have a non-spiritual Andrapod partner because it's the only way I can someday find someone who is totally free of the jewish poison.
 
Wotanwarrior said:
Abyssos said:
Over two thirds of men around the world are in your shoes. Your experience is the common experience of men, and has been for centuries, if not millennia. It's going to take an overwhelming amount of effort to change these circumstances, and even then, there are uncomfortable facts in all this that are too morbid to type about, speak about, or think about. These infohazards will have to be buried and covered up in the future. I think I just realized why Friedrich Nietzche spoke positively about forgetfulness.

And everything you describe is due to the toxic jewish ideology with which they have poisoned the minds of the masses for centuries such as feminism and machismo to keep men and women divided and then turn the tables on them with things like MGTOW and the like to continue perpetuating the kosher poison.

That's another reason why I refuse to have a non-spiritual Andrapod partner because it's the only way I can someday find someone who is totally free of the jewish poison.

We have to stay positive and fight for the world we want to come that will get rid of all this. We can't give up. People have been brainwashed into becoming lazy, blaming the opposite sex for everything, and wanting the best of anything for nothing. Nothing worth it whatever it may be will come to someone for nothing. It has to be worked for. The West specifically is programmed to want to relax in luxury and comfort in all things while avoiding all things difficult or uncomfortable, whether it be with how and what to eat, how to heal, how to face oneself with one's own shortcomings, or the necessary "growing pains" that come with bettering oneself as a whole.

If one examines the above it will be no wonder that relationships do not often last long, or that most people only want to get off and leave, regardless even if it is at the expense of the other person they use, or end the relationship over the drop of a hat or constantly fear to "miss something better."

Do difficult things. Put good sources of stress on yourself like exercise, self-examination, and courage to examine hard truths. Taking responsibility is the relief of all victimization and suffering.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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