Eric13 said:
NakedPluto said:
Brother you
can have both at the same time. The one doesn't exclude the other one but make you incapable of of judgement of reality. There's a fine line between psychic ability and insanity. Once broke the fine line, it is a mess...
Yeah, I mean, that was the exact point I was making.
You know what’s even stranger, but in a good way, is every since I begun this conversation on this thread, I’ve been noticing improvements in this situation like nothing before. It’s getting very much better. Still slow and steady, but Blitzkreig was right, I need to play the long game. Whatever this thing is, must be very powerful and I crave the day to understand what it fully is. It isn’t totally in my mind and imagination. There’s reality to it.
I have a close SS friend and he said to me something I needed to hear. He said, you’ve tried so many things and just because they didn’t work instantly, you assumed it wasn’t working, but it is. You have to keep going. The main point is all the things I’m doing are working. I just have to keep going.
Thank you everyone who gave thoughtful advice. I appreciate it and not just simply saying I was crazy. It’s been three years dealing with it. Who knows how much longer it’ll be, but I feel confident I’ll over come it. Both the mental and real aspects of this. I’m glad I finally broke down and discussed this on here, even though, of course I was ready for the onslaught of your a schizophrenic theories, which are kind of ignorant theories. Just because this situation is beyond the scope of most people’s experiences doesn’t nullify it.
I think the one big clue we have here is that this entity, whether it is foreign or self-created, has been attacking you for 3 years despite calls for help from the Gods. Even further, you did receive help from the Gods, which shows that they are aware of the problem and put effort to solve it.
This leads me to believe that the problem is more self-created.
Remember that it is entirely possible for self-created entities, both good and bad, to feel fully real. The big clue here is that if this was a separate entity, the Gods would simply smash it into a million pieces. Actually, the fact that the entity is so powerful would be more of a reason for them to smash it, because it might be too hard for you to do it alone.
But, how do you help someone who has unwittingly recreated their attacker? You have to wait until they can realize it on their own. When you begged for relief, the Gods likely slowed or delayed the problem, but it was just a matter of time before it was created again and the attacks restarted.
My evidence for this is when GITM suffered psychic attacks, it turned out they were self-created. That doesn't meant he was a lunatic or crazy or whatever, it just meant he had to regulate himself to stop this from happening. The Gods couldn't help him because he was doing it to himself.
The attacks that both you and GITM experience were real because you created it yourself. It is based on your own power. This also explains why banishing and protections did nothing, for both you and him. Just because the attack is real does not mean it must come from a foreign source.
PLEASE READ:
GITM:
The reason why the gods could not help me or get rid of the nightmares, the malevolent energies, the 'psychic attacks', the reason why so much horrible shit would spiral out of control for me, why I had struggled so severely to see clarity, why so much 'noise' on the astral and in my head was going on all the time, it was all my own doing. My heart chakra (which rules over all connections) tied so strongly to my own imagination and thoughts in living in my head from those habits feeding such a strong connective tie, that it was like a doorway in my own head letting through bad influences from the heart chakra and fears to which I would then unwittingly manifest and give power with my own mind. It blind sided me in creating false interactions, false communications and false beliefs...
Bottom of this thread: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=45837&p=211887#p211887
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I am not saying you suffer from the exact issue with the heart chakra, but I just want you to see the example and patterns here.
Suffering from this sort of thing does not mean you are retarded or crazy or anything. HPHC described it as a mental issue, because that is what it is. It is overall an issue with how your psychic energy is regulated. It does not mean you are a babbling, raving hobo on the street.
Rather, it is a testament to your own strength and power that you were able to deal with those for so long. So don't think people think less of you or are trying to push you away or anything. HPHC and others were trying to point out the issue so you could fix it; they weren't trying to make you feel bad or rejected.
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I know reading this might upset you in some way, but it would not do you any good if I just held my words.
I think you might have some reservations about this being self-created reflecting negatively on you. You have to realize that this is not an admission of failure or should make you feel like worse of a person. It is similar to being humble, not that you are bragging, but if the problem is self-created you have to accept this to fix it.
I just think the biggest clue you have is that the Gods did not "stop" the entity. If it has been going on for 3 years, surely they would've "come around" to help such a serious problem, right? I think you felt similarly where you mention how it seems nobody else is dealing with this. This is correct because the Gods would not leave someone dealing with an actual foreign entity like this. However, you are also not the only person to have self-attacked themselves.
Like HPHC said, you will end up going through the whole checklist of banishing rituals, protection, and whatever else is used for dealing with foreign threats, until you realize nothing working. This is because it is not truly a foreign threat.
Nobody says that someone like GITM is not strong or helpful or good to have around just because he suffered from something like this. In the same way, nobody will think less of you for this. You will always be part of JOS.
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Another way of thinking about this, is that you did try everything you could, for as long as possible (3 years!). Surely it is time to try another strategy. If the 1st option, which was attacking the entity, did not yield fruit, then you must try another option. In this case, it is checking your own energy flow and connections to make sure you are not inadvertently fueling the entity.
You mentioned that you felt certain chakras being affected, so it would make sense to look at these chakras and follow the energy flow. Make sure they are balanced, stable, without any blockages or inadvertent linkages. It might not be immediately evident. You should make a checklist and try to meditate on all parts of yourself to see where the problem might lie.
As for self-healing workings, what affirmations were you using in the past?
Change it specifically so that the energy is fixing anything about you that would result in self-created attacks. This could be a problem with grounding and the base chakra, it could be a problem with perception. It could be a problem with the neural connections of the brain. Whatever it may be, you should program this energy to target that and resolve it.
It might also make sense to look at the thread that GITM was writing in, as well as his part threads where he talks about the problem. This might give some insight into how to deal with this yourself.
Also check your natal chart and see if you have any earth imbalances, or anything else that may relate.
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Good luck and stay strong!