dizzyness and more

[willemb14]

hello everyone,
I posted about this subject on the jos group before but it didnt go trough for some reason... but this might be a better place to ask.
i started satanism about 2/3 weeks ago, i have a burn out but its getting better and better now that i am meditating.  but after a week of meditating i started to get really dizzy and dissorientated for no reason, and this is not because some illness or to low bloodsugar. this held on for about 4/5 days. now my question was is this because of the sudden change in bioelectricity or is it something else?
and in the last week my emotions are somewhat out of controll sometimes, is this a good thing? cuz I never really felt anything in my past, and now my emotions can just suddenly make itseld known... sometimes a bit uncontrollable. 
I just wanted to share this and hear your opinions, maybe im just mad I dont know.Thank you for your patience and help.

 

[centralforce6661]

You have underlying unresolved burnout issues?

 

[willem b]

I have a burnout for nearly 2 years right now and I still dont know why I it happend to me. for years i couldnt really feel my own emotions and that is probably one of the reasons why i got a burnout, i was quite and never said no to anything. 
I have changed a lot since then mostly positive, and i did had moments that emotions like anger took over. but i could always handle the situations before. since i started maditating i have noticed a lot of positive changes, and one of em is that i have a better understanding of my emotions. the only thing is that i cant control my emotions sometimes now that i started meditating.
so since i started meditating my emotions can be uncontrollable at times and the dizzyness and dissorientation started. the dizzyness and dissorientation is almost gone right now finaly, but i almost know for sure that this didnt occure because i have a burnout. in the 2 years i never experienced it. and btw i did the dedication ritual not even a week after i came into contact with satanism so i dont think its because some entity wants to lead me astray.

Op zondag 28 januari 2:53 2018 schreef "ivyissexy69@... [SSHealth]" <[email protected] het volgende:


 

You have underlying unresolved burnout issues?

 

[centralforce6661]

Do you get the dizziness when you stand up?

Or does it just come randomly?

 

[cand.cru5h3r1]

with any transformation in nature there is such a phenomenon as nigredo, in which in order to gain new functionality something undergoes a process of loosing old functionality for a relatively short time.

if you are absolutely sure there is no problem, and this is only occurring after you have just begun meditations.

then it seems to me you are throwing yourself out of whack, changing the literal flow of your energy with power meditations.

this could mean that you are finally getting your energy moving again, maybe the awareness of the flow of something that was once stagnant within you is causing you to be nauseous.
like living on land and going out on a boat.
nothing is physically wrong with you, its just the new movement that the body is extremely sensitive too.

however you've got to use your intuition.
taking on meditation is no joke and if you already feel burnt out then you are adding onto your list of responsibilities with a meditation schedule.
this is actually a positive thing as power meditation will cure any lack of energy, and satans positive influence will make everything much easier.
but you have to know that just because your not being mentally pushed over the edge by all of your work you do, and any anxieties that you might be feeling.

does not mean that it wont manifest somewhere else, like the body for example.
in such a way that makes you want to sit down...and take a break
listen to yourself and youll be fine
im sure central force can give you the "medical" diagnosis of your problem 


ps (joke)
maybe im developing the ability to see the future, but i strongly sense that the kidneys may in fact be responsible.
hey and i bet there are some herbs you can order from across the planet that might do the trick

 

[cand.cru5h3r1]

also might i add that the emotions are ruled first and foremost by the soul. then the soul trigers the chemicals in the body to be released.
not the other way around, some of us here who have been abused or desensitized will regain full emotional capacity.
if not done automatically through meditation and yoga, then it can be done through workings to "free the soul"
http://eridu666.webs.com/Words-of-Power.htm 



the point is if your soul is full of dross, and all the sudden you start to purify and literally empower your soul.
you are going to start running properly again,like a car that was out of gas.
the speedometer isnt going up if there is no fuel in the tank and no pedals being pressed, in gear, etc..

 

[Taol]

What did you do prior to your burnout?

How do you feel towards yourself losing your emotions? (you dont have to answer that here)

I think you forced yourself away from something or people kept stepping over your boundaries, causing this problem.
You seem to think of yourself as a machine, but by reading all that you have on the JoS website you must have seen that you are not.

You are not a slave. You are not a servant to do someones bidding with low pay.
You are an individual that is not to be discredited, nor to be put down and taken for granted.

Even if you are sweet and willing to do everything, you must do it on your terms.

And this problem can go much further back than the last 2 years. Maybe you'll have to look as far back as your childhood.


Maybe this makes no sense to you and you may find me rude in saying this, but I have no intention of hurting you.

 

[willem b]

well let me start from the beginning I will try to be as honest as possible.
As a kid I have always been bullied (I think this happend because i have always stuttert, I dont stutter as much as I did back then but I still stutter sometimes.), Because I have always been bullied I was always on my own and I tried to block myself off to the real world. The bulling was not only verbaly but also physicly,  I always wanted to good and well nothing good came to me but well that is something from the past, It doesnt affect me really when I think back.
As a kid I had a headache regulary this was when I was about 4 years old, because of the headaches I blocked out my own taugths and combined with the bullying that made me block myself of from my feelings I became really insecure and quiet. I never talked, I never taugth about anything, I never felt anything, I did put myself on the side line and just did what others wanted from me. 
when I was 16 I started to work as a apprentice line machaninc.... after 2 years I started talking more but I stil put myself on the second place. My coleagues walked over me and because I couldnt say no to anything I did everything they asked me to do, in the end I was the one working while my coleagues didnt do anything. I couldnt feel my feelings so I just went with it, after a while I started to get agitated and had the feeling I couldnt handle anything anymore. This was the when I got a burnout thats about 2 years ago now.
After I stopped working for a while (about a week) I got a lot of trouble with my employer, Im not going into specifics about this cuz it will take a while and it doesnt really matter what exactly happend. I still work for them because they have to pay me till I am sick for 2 years after wards they can fire me so I have no finacial problems right now. But because of everything that happend between me and my employer I got mentaly stronger because I had to fight back.... again not going into specifics. 
And then we arive at the present, I am not the shy boy anymore that puts himself on the second place, If there is something on my mind I say so, if i dont want to do a specific thing i wont..........But everything that happend as a kid shaped me, thats not somehting i can easely redo with some meditations. Suppresing my emotions made me numb, I am slowly understanding and feeling my emotions sometimes they are almost out of control but I dont think thats nacesarely a bad thing. with the meditations I am learing how to use and control my taugths and thats going alrigth.
I have some spyciatric help that took over a year to get -_- but that doesnt really help me at all, I got some medicine's to help me control my emotions and whever else its good for, I used these meds for 2 months and well I really hate meds but I tried to use em and i noticed that those meds just suppress my emotions while I need to understand my emotions and learn how to get in harmony with them. So i quit with the meds that is around the same time I started with satanism. a week and a half after i started satanism i started experiencing dizzyness and that came random troughout the day for about a week if not longer. 
Apart from the negative things I have experienced some possitive things as well since i started meditating like,  concentration, better understanding of my feelings...well cant really say its better but they are more active right now, i feel more rested and so on, And one big thing is well for years I couldnt enjoy anything sexualy (I dont mean intercourse but doing it myself) it took freaking hours and i didnt feel anything. A week after the dedication I had a certain dream and after wards no problems anymore. 
I wanted to say more but I forgot about it but this is plenty of information i think.Thank you for your time and intrests
And sorry for the engrish im not a native english speaker.


Op woensdag 31 januari 15:01 2018 schreef "taolvanswd@... [SSHealth]" <[email protected] het volgende:


  What did you do prior to your burnout?

How do you feel towards yourself losing your emotions? (you dont have to answer that here)

I think you forced yourself away from something or people kept stepping over your boundaries, causing this problem.
You seem to think of yourself as a machine, but by reading all that you have on the JoS website you must have seen that you are not.

You are not a slave. You are not a servant to do someones bidding with low pay.
You are an individual that is not to be discredited, nor to be put down and taken for granted.

Even if you are sweet and willing to do everything, you must do it on your terms.

And this problem can go much further back than the last 2 years. Maybe you'll have to look as far back as your childhood.

Maybe this makes no sense to you and you may find me rude in saying this, but I have no intention of hurting you.

 

[Taol]

That certainly was a long message. I think your english is fine by the way. Its well understandable and that is more that I can say of some other people.

When people put you through an overload of negative things, emotionally, physically, mentally, that causes stress.
People think kids dont have stress but they do actually in some cases.

If need be you can try lydia's psychological healing with wunyo (posted on the main group) and also freeing the soul workings.

Have you taken a look at your natal chart? Dont post those kind of details here though, we may have some .. watching.

*hug* because I think you need one

Even incorporating the speaking up mechanisms take some time to become natural and balanced.

I do not think that there is much more I can say here as I think you can figure quite a bit of it out by yourself.

But I do wonder and you dont need to reply this to me, answering it for yourself might be more important.
Do you remember what caused your headaches in the first place? Maybe you said but I dont remember reading it; what was going on or what changed around the time you got them?

Maybe a better question. Do you still have headaches now?