confused

[Russ]

march last year i started dedicating to Satan, i started doing 40 days program and 60 days program I'd spend my whole day practicing, meditating and doing yoga and i know that im advancing quickly.

and then by December i had 13 hour job at a shitty restaurant so i didn't have time to practice but whenever I'm free id practice. by January i quit my job and then a few weeks later i got close to my neighbor who is around my age and we became "friends" as soon as he wake up he'd come over to my room to hang out and smoke vape ( but it turns out that he was just using my room to smoke because he is not allowed to smoke yet and use me to buy things from vape shop because he is not allowed and I'm friends with the shop's owner) so i didn't have time to practice i tried telling him that i need some time(to practice) but it didn't worked out, so after a few month's i completely stopped practicing.

and now, the thought of "i think i should practice again, i should start doing 40 days program again" followed by "what if satanism is not really real? and i just wasted my time practicing" comes to my mind every now and then.

i don't know what to do, every time that i think of starting to practice again I'd think of finding a job instead and then I'd spend my whole day surfing on the internet hoping someone will hire me in a real estate company ( i really want to be a real estate agent), or I'd think of "it's too late now", "satanism might not be real" or "i dont have time for that". i am running away from our house by November because I'll turn 18 that's why i spend my whole day surfing the internet finding a job.

pls i need your opinion, i have no one to talk to.

 

[Henu the Great]

You were basically distracted to lose your footing on the Path. You are free to choose what you do, but being consistent with the Path will bring spiritual advancement along with success in the physical not matched by other methods.

 

[GoldenxChild1]

I have been a dedicated SS since 2017 but I took me a while to become truly consistent with meditation and yoga. I lost my footing as well time after time. I beat myself up knowing that it was self inflicted. However, when I was going through that storm I also had doubts like yourself; nevertheless, I remained on the path and I've never been in a better place in body and soul in my life. You need to fail to succeed, i.e., I hit such a low in 2018-2019 that without that experience I wouldn't realize how far I've developed. Satan is a good father, he's the Father I never had. It's okay to have doubts but I implore you to keep advancing, this is a path of true beauty.

 

[Nazista lunar]

"he'd come over to my room to hang out and smoke vape ( but it turns out that he was just using my room to smoke because he is not allowed to smoke yet and use me to buy things from vape shop because he is not allowed and I'm friends with the shop's owner) so i didn't have time to practice i tried telling him that i need some time(to practice) but it didn't worked out, so after a few month's i completely stopped practicing."

Having dumb friends makes you dumber. Your neighbor is the problem.

 

[Bonedust]

and then by December i had 13 hour job at a shitty restaurant so i didn't have time to practice but whenever I'm free id practice. by January i quit my job and then a few weeks later i got close to my neighbor who is around my age and we became "friends" as soon as he wake up he'd come over to my room to hang out and smoke vape ( but it turns out that he was just using my room to smoke because he is not allowed to smoke yet and use me to buy things from vape shop because he is not allowed and I'm friends with the shop's owner) so i didn't have time to practice i tried telling him that i need some time(to practice) but it didn't worked out, so after a few month's i completely stopped practicing.

You need to set boundaries with your friends and let no one interfere with your privacy (especially concerning advancement, but I am going to assume your friends don't know about this). Be stern and clear about this, they need to respect your space. If you MUST explain why and you don't think telling them about your spirituality is going to help long term (as in attracting unwanted attention) just tell them you take yoga, meditation and mantras very seriously as it calms your mind and body and NEED the alone time to do it. They don't need to know your spiritual inclinations or be given a timetable to enter your room, its not their place to tell you how long you should be meditating either. They are free to hide elsewhere to consume their vices.

and now, the thought of "i think i should practice again, i should start doing 40 days program again" followed by "what if satanism is not really real? and i just wasted my time practicing" comes to my mind every now and then.

Maybe its easier for me to believe because I have been exposed to the astral a few years before your current age. But I can tell you with certainty, even without my dreams / astral moments, that my experiences say demons do exist, Satan does exist. I've had physical interactions in the form of signs appearing, sometimes due to what i was thinking, or what i was doing. Satanism is very real and the time you spend cultivating yourself through it is akin to watering a great tree; sometimes it takes a long time to sprout its sapling! You simply don't want to miss a day and keep a rhythm going.

i don't know what to do, every time that i think of starting to practice again I'd think of finding a job instead and then I'd spend my whole day surfing on the internet hoping someone will hire me in a real estate company ( i really want to be a real estate agent), or I'd think of "it's too late now", "satanism might not be real" or "i dont have time for that". i am running away from our house by November because I'll turn 18 that's why i spend my whole day surfing the internet finding a job.

pls i need your opinion, i have no one to talk to.

Because you are trying to do all of either working a job or meditating in one huge sitting, when it should be incorporating spiritual advancement into your daily routine (job or no job).

Look at the 40 days program as an introduction to setting up a daily routine "forever". That is to say, instead of spending the entire day for each of the 40 days straight-up endlessly practicing; you need to set a balance for yourself. Without that balance OF COURSE jobs are going to wreck it all apart. That means balancing the time you spend meditating with hobbies, chores and jobs you might be required to attend to / be interested in (i.e. what you want in life). As well as balancing RTR's / Group Rituals with how much you can clean yourself afterwards.

Here's an example I follow:
Void Meditation, Foundation, Aura of Protection, Clean Chakras, Spin Chakras and Returning Curses are all done twice a day. Everything else can be adjusted and placed wherever you want because they only need to be done once a day. What "everything else" is depends on what you need. Some recommended examples include : practicing trance, hatha and kunda yoga, FRTR, personal workings and group rituals.


Example routine 1
Mornings
---Void Meditation -> Foundation -> Aura of Protection -> Clean Chakras -> Spin Chakras -> Returning Curses part 1
---Some of "everything else" here.
Midday
---Hobbies, Job Searching, Chores, etc
Nights
---Void Meditation -> Foundation -> Aura of Protection -> Clean Chakras -> Spin Chakras
---Most of "everything else" here.
---Returning curses part 2

Example routine 2
Mornings
---Void Mediation -> Foundation -> Aura of Protection -> Clean Chakras -> Spin Chakras
---All of "everything else" here.
---Returning Curses part 2
Midday
---Hobbies, Job Searching, Chores, etc
Nights
---Void Meditation -> Foundation -> Aura of Protection -> Clean Chakras -> Spin Chakras -> Returning curses part 1


Example routine 3
Mornings
---Void Meditation -> Foundation -> Aura of Protection -> Clean Chakras -> Spin Chakras -> Returning curses part 1
Midday
---Hobbies, Job Searching, Chores, etc
Nights
---Void Mediation -> Foundation -> Aura of Protection -> Clean Chakras -> Spin Chakras
---All of "everything else" here.
---Returning Curses part 2


Making a checklist of activities to do will help you develop habits like above. Especially when you feel you have to swap to another routine set due to some technicality (for example: relatives visiting and ''demanding'' you be present at dinner in the middle of your night meditation cycle).

I also want to emphasize since you are in a turbulent time that starting small with the basics might be right up your alley. As you progress: add the rest that you need into "everything else". The basics for me take about an hour a day (in total), it will probably be less for you, but the rest of "everything else" can vary greatly in added time; the FRTR set we are having to do daily can run you 20 to 30 minutes for example.

Hope this helps you as I spent a large amount of time catering this reply for you.

 

[Ara666]

...

Sounds like the enemy is preventing you from practicing your meditations... And the fact that you're a beginner makes you an easy target for them.

Right now the enemy is rejoicing by making you fail. That's what they do. It's the enemy.

That situation with your neighbor doesn't seem to help either. It's almost as if he's using you just so he can buy whatever he wants at this vape shop. Just be careful with this, so that it doesn't become a toxic friendship.

My best advice to you would be to define your priorities and organize yourself. Let's say if you don't have a job and you have to pay rent, I'd say find a job first. You could do that during the day, and in the evening you can meditate. It doesn't take very long to clean your aura for example. The first meditations provided in the 40 days programs are easy to do, but then again, you'll have to adapt them according to your situation. Don't be in a rush with this and don't be too hard on yourself. Once you start meditating again, you'll have to stay consistent. HPS Maxine said in many sermons, that if you suddenly stop your meditations, you can become depressed, because your mind, body and soul have to adjust to the meditations.

Satanism is very real, so you're not wasting your time. You're on the right path. It's just the enemy distracting you and sending you negative thoughts. Clean your aura often. You'll see things clearly.