Concern with entity/ies...(a bit long)

[Gearshift]

Hello everybody I'm here to discuss a possible interaction with a entity/ies. Pardon the length it's not everything but just trying to inform in case of my concern with myself.

-I have thought it was a figment of my imagination
-I have thought it was an enemy
-I have thought it was either a mental illness or a worsening of my mental illness(unfortunately a few years back I was diagnosed and though I take the lowest strength pills I haven't had any issues with it in years almost begs the question what happened to me.)
-I have thought that perhaps it's a irradiation echo it has been stated in the presence of beings of higher power once they leave there may be continuation of speech due to their energies.
-I have thought perhaps it's some sort of self-tantric effect which I'll discuss below
-There might be other issues but I can't seem to list any of them coming off the top of my head.

First let me state I'm personally in my own opinion nowhere near advanced to any level but a basic normal human level. In fact the amount of times I tried to perform mindfulness(or void as you guys call it), the amount of time I tried to learn trance, and the amount of time I've dealt with meditations on and off over the years is so limited that I feel literally nothing. It's gotten to the point I only meditate and very poorly at that simply because I have nothing better to do. Even then I still feel burnt out and not wanting to meditate. In fact to me meditation feels like I'm just using my imagination and doing something completely in my mind without feeling a damn thing on my mind, body, or soul. I've literally thought the only meditations are worth doing are physical meditation cause stationary position meditations don't do anything. It's just you performing imaginary things that do absolutely nothing. I will readily admit meditation no matter how simple whether it's mindfulness or cleaning or something simple to help your life is not just a burden but a chore. I literally feel grinded to the ground by the way I've been living and meditation doesn't help me in anyway almost makes me feel like a hypocrite being on these forums

FYI for future reference HEARING is the product of me receiving a mental thought voice not actually external ears or anything. In fact it makes me think I'm making these voices up due to some deep loneliness and lack of interaction with life

So like Shael said pardon my fearful and arrogant way of expressing myself. Hell I guess even my disrespectful anti-meditation sourness could be considered something to please pardon me for but it's just the way I feel in my life.

First nearing 16 years ago I dedicated perhaps too soon maybe I should have waited a few months. April 29th 2003, the very next day despite not doing the 4-crowns standard ritual. I performed a request to Satan for a succubus. Many people will probably be like brand new people who dedicated don't get a succubi/incubi you weren't even advanced in any way. Funny enough the only reason why I did it properly is because in the Yahoo forums at a recent time within a week at the date of 2003 someone asked about a proper way to request for one. And the reply was do not ask for any specific. First state a request for a monogamous or in this case and in mine poly-amorous, open relationship free from jealousy of others. Then ask for perfect for you but at the end of the day leave it up to Satan to find the perfect one for you. So simply perfect but let Bossman find the one. In fact funny enough the few succubus request threads that where in the yahoo forums were fraught with problems one guy wanted a 5'5", green eyed succubus and went detailed he got what he wanted but within a week he was noticing she wasn't the best for him. So he asked and they told him pretty much what this thread is. Basically ask Satan to tell the Succubus not to be with you and when you request for one simply state parameters poly, open or monog and then ask him for a perfect one for you but left unto his decision as to who is perfect for you.

Over the years I performed the Succubus request ritual a few times thinking perhaps it didn't work all of them were the same basically requesting in colorful terms my Lilith to my Satan so to speak. But I always said if I have one already don't send another this is just a understanding request. Kinda similar to when people wish to rededicate cause they felt their dedication didn't go right. Funny enough I have thought such things.

First one of the things that I do remember one time back then years ago and again felt in recent times sometime around December is a pineal cavern pressure. In fact it got to the point where I asked a question yes or no and yes for pineal pressure and no was no activity. Then the voice came in, the first time I heard it was ironically enough during my mental health crises years ago but once I left the hospital not only did I completely ignore the voice I never heard it again so I chalked it up to mental illness. Back in recent times a few months back when I heard the voice it's a female voice and states "Hello [My name] how are you?". Funny enough the name thing is weird she not only uses my first name but often as well states my full name. I asked her about it and she stated "Just as you respect us in fact over respect us we respect you that's why I state your full name".

At first I would state who is this and she states my succubus. I would then visualize Satan's sigil and ask him to send my succubus to me. Then she goes see I'm here. I asked her what she is and the voice replies "I'm a Satanic being of higher power, my Lord is Satan". I've never been fancy enough to believe an entities allegiance based on stating a name particularly of Satan I always felt like that is too easy so the entire time I always had hesitation. I told this voice exactly that and she said that is fine. In fact when I mentioned I wish not to hear you at all I feel this is wrong she goes [My First name] that is fine but remember this isn't going away if anything it'll grow.

One of the strangest things though is orgasms. For example if I'm alone I state "I want an orgasm" nothing happens. Once I call this entity she states her normal hello and then I say give me an orgasm. The next thing I know I take a deep breath, my eyes roll to the back of my head, and it gets to the point where I forget how to breathe sometimes with my breath being held for 15-20 seconds without discomfort. The funny part is when I ask for loud orgasms the same happens including vocalization without my control. Finally a few weeks ago I thought what about a mega orgasm for nearly 2 minute straight I was breathing deeply repeatedly, vocalizing, and even laughing uncontrollably shouting stop, stop, stop I can't take it anymore. Even after the event went away it took another good 3 minutes before the almost rubber band like sensation of my body went away and I was back to normal.

All of this sounds like fun and games but again begs the question if it's a byproduct of my craziness due to inconsistency of my mental soundness.

Another question that might be asked is has this entitiy helped you with meditation. She has stated it's not wise at your level to receive anything but she did tell me when performing white-gold and white-gold solar energy breath for aura of protection both normal and solar to hold the breath 3-5 seconds to acclimate the energy.

Now some people ask has this person divulged their name. I asked one time as the question popped in and she states her name is Diana she mentioned she is a red-headed succubus and mentioned she is considered Nordic but not in the stereotypical blonde. In fact funny enough I don't know how spirit sex works but one time I felt someone straddle me while I laid in bed for sleep and I even felt a wetness or had the sensation I was inside something wet. Despite not having a physical erection, she stated "Oh, that isn't me that is my friend Ursula". In fact I actually talked to this second entity and she spoke in a very strained manner and I asked why in the limited capacity that I have hearing her your speaking that way. And she replied cause "I'm riding you, fucking you".

Some people might ask how far have you gone with spirit sex. Funny enough even in the first night years ago I barely if ever fantasized during my time. Funny enough even at my young 12 years old when I would go to sleep the day would just collapse on me. In fact for MANY years I often wondered what the fuck am I doing with my day, is this life for me and for others.

Now funny enough a third entity popped in one time. I heard a male voice funny enough male voices are much harder to figure out than female voices. I asked him who is this and he goes this is Diana's incubus friend and lover of hers from time to time. I ask him his name and I cracked up cause I literally said to myself okay I'm losing it. He called himself Hank, I spent some time talking to this entity and he said "I'm not perfect for you but good enough that Diana wishes for you to express your bisexual nature". I told him I'm not into men and Diana is like you'd think so but you go both ways. Funny enough two sensations come from this entity one he sorta surrounds me so his astral body is around me or at the very least I feel like I'm inside someone and the second thing is despite the fact I feel nothing at all this entity does perform normal male on male activities with me so I do get a odd sensation a slight very slight asking myself why I keep feeling like a virile member is inside of me.

These are the three entities that unfortunately have interacted. At first I thought wonderful but then I said to myself this is getting crazy what has my mind done. So I began to ignore these entities. For example one of the last things Diana mentioned was Ursula and Hank can't stay much or long with you unlike me first they have their lives to live and second of all I'm your succubus so I don't mind spending a lot of time with you. I have told her your not my slave, she says she understands and despite living her own life has plenty of time to interact with me. Though I've had the understanding that she can't sometimes come one time telling me she'll try and be around me in 5 hours of my time cause she wants to exercise and meditate.

Another thing I did many years ago sometime pre-2007 or 2008 a Demon Friend webpage was available on the JoS. Right in the Demon page, so I actually perform the ritual several years ago probably two or three years ago requesting for a Demon friend. Much like the Succubus, I said I want the perfect Demon Friend but left completely to Satan to find such person. Never heard of the entity interacting with me in such manner and I have asked my Succubus and said simply yes I do have one cause you asked for one.

There is more to this story but it'll be really long.

Is this normal? or am I defined by the JoS as someone either mentally ill or perhaps being manipulated by entities that mean harm?

It reminds me of the W, P, & P ritual I performed the prayer and called out to Satan for the runic vibration and affirmation portions. And behind me floating in the air was a sensation of a REALLY tall person with these black shamanic clothing and whitish boots. And a short entity with burning eyes looking at me standing next to my desk. I know gargoyle entities work with the Gods didn't feel like a Grey even though I thought "Shit is this a Grey". After completing the ritual they left, they felt like normal background radiation nothing negative or anything just a neutral sensation like this is perfectly normal keep going and do the ritual.

So basically is this normal or should I just completely ignore these things? Is this a byproduct of my loneliness and living a lackluster life with pretty much non-existent socializing outside of my immediate family.

Also for the people who may have a succubus or incubus do they seem like a hindrance to real life relationships perhaps the whole energy exchange where a slight amount of energy is drained as a byproduct of their activities hurts your love/sexual prowess with women or men in the case of others or do they help in acquiring real life relationships. I will readily admit the game of love has not been kind to me ever growing up and the more I grow older the more I isolate myself and find myself dumbfounded at various lack of life and living it up.

I literally feel like not only have I given up on life but life gave up on me. Perhaps MANY years ago, perhaps even at young age where such negativity imprinted in me. Much like how my father would get annoyed at me saying "I hate school" or I hate this or however I reacted that made my parents worry that I'm kinda shutting the door on myself and affecting myself in the future. Perhaps all my "I hate school" growing up led a pattern of ignoring higher education which is something I wish I did consider over the years. I basically left the school system seeking a break from all the non-sense that went by. I mean I was in no way shape or form even thinking about my future nor anything even at a young age. It's like my parents mentioned to visit a psychologist cause a person who states "I'm the same person I was when I was 7 years old just with more information" is not according to them very positive in the head sounds more to them like something happened to me and I need help.

 

[Taol]

So first of all.. what exactly are you asking about here?

I didn't want to read it at first because 1) Long ass post and 2) sounded like you'd went on (whining) about your problems.

A summary of the post basicly is like this:
- You dedicated but didn't meditate (properly)
- asked for a succubus multiple times
- possibly mental illness with using of prescribed drugs
- ???
- Childhood 'hate school'

For the first one.. have you even tried mantras? Just relax. You know when you make a sound like ahh or oooh or uuu you can feel your body vibrating, I think that they mean that you should try to focus that vibration on a certain part of your body (as in the chakra meditation).
As for the 'static poses' I am sure you meant yoga.. No I didn't feel much either the first time I went through the motions. It took me a couple of days/weeks plus increasing the time I was in each pose.

No matter how low the dose those kinds of drugs do alter and change the mechanisms in your brain, sealing you off too. As psychiatric drugs are often based on psychedelics (ritalin in example).

Don't oversweat it that you were like that as a child. School is stupid, school is boring and I bet about every child in the western world thinks that. But, you know, as a child you don't have that perspective.
After some time being idle you get bored, simply. And then you start to learn about the true world around you a little better and you understand this.

We all come from some point and yes we have to go through shit from the past that gets brought up from the meditation but we all want to work hard and do better moving forward.
And this is what is the most important.
Heritage is important, but aside from this, it doesn't matter that much as what happened in the past (In other words, dont dwell on the past 24/7 and make it your future - aside from the flare-up sometimes which gets out through meditation, but that aside), what matters is that you learned from it, grew stronger, became a better person and move towards a brighter future.
Past things may 'shape' in some sort of way, that is undeniable, but with proper meditation and moving forward, I am sure all the problems that you've been through can be solved or at least worked out enough that they do not manifest in the future ever again. Which, yes, means, redefining things, opinions and such themselves.

I know that sometimes when people read what I say it sounds a lot like I am constantly contradicting myself, and I may go for the easiest said statements a lot, but they only tell one side of the story.. thats why the last alinea was so extensive.. I don't want to get across saying the wrong things..
Or sound like Im double talking on purpose..

Don't forget psychology talk is (mostly) bullocks. (Ey! I remembered that word .. maybe misspelled that though)

 

[Hps.mlimlal666]

Hi Gear,

You should have been working on freeing yourself from day one. Some people still remain the same, stuck with so little changes, is due not putting so much efforts and time to achieve something big. With drastic changes requires effort and time, this goes for spiritual and everything general in life. As for what your parents believe, you are in charge of that, you are what you want to be and this is up to you.
If you continue to dwell all this negative and just sit there continue to waste more years of your life in vain for nothing you will never grow. Do Rtr rituals, clean your aura daily, several times and use ball (gold energy) Hps Maxine wrote many times about this. IT does work. You can ask Gods to help you.
If you lack motivation, find a way to motivate yourself, this all means you 'll have to get work harder
Runes can help you, do daily positive affirmations. When the moon is right do banish ritual around your place, and start focus on yourself first.
Take care

 

[Rook]

perhaps being manipulated by entities that mean harm?

most likely

should I just completely ignore these things?

you should

there's a reason why you don't deal with entities when you're new, well 2 main reasons i can think of -
1. you don't know yourself,
2. you lack the mental control for it.

besides that a new SS should only be establishing a close relationship with Satan, he comes 1st at all times, even if you can't hear him you should just speak, in all relationships communication is very important.

btw weren't you there on catalinacata's post?

I left this link
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Undesirable.html

Dealing With Unwanted Entities[/url]"]Having a strong mind is of extreme importance in *any* dealings with the spirit world, being able to banish unwanted thoughts at will and having control over emotions. Any weaknesses can be exploited by an unwanted entity with more power. Being able to cut someone or something completely off, at will in one's mind is the first step in psychic self-defense. Unwanted entities feed off fear and our giving them our attention. It is important to focus our minds elsewhere and totally ignore unwanted or bothersome entities. Without a steady supply of psychic energy, nearly all will leave.

Dealing With Unwanted Entities[/url]"]Being adept at controlling thoughts, emotions, and minds is very important if you ever wish to invoke spirits as a medium and let them speak through you. You control the spirit; you are in charge, not the spirit. When I am finished invoking a spirit and letting it speak through me to others, I turn it off completely.

i honestly won't be surprised if it was just a gray pretending to be multiple entities, the enemy is extremely manipulative and deceptive.

i've noticed that with people most likely in the same case of Catalinacata they must have a strong Neptunian influence in their chart, Neptune can bring delusions, fantasy, deception and make one gullible,
they lack grounding, meaning malefic entities can't easily exploit these people, just from being gullible alone.
these people also tend to be isolated and live in their own fantasy world.
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/PlanetNeptune.html
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/NEPTUNE.html
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/RETROGRADE.html

I remember reading in the spiritual warfare manual, the there's a point where to progress you need to know yourself completely, Astrology is great for this, i study on my own but i've still gotten readings from cobra, it's always nice to know another perspective, and astrology is great for discerning yourself.

Is this a byproduct of my loneliness and living a lackluster life with pretty much non-existent socializing outside of my immediate family.
...
I literally feel like not only have I given up on life but life gave up on me.

See I've noticed this with the enemy, this has been my experience thus far, but it seems like people think the enemy comes in to do some kind of blitz attack and ruin you in an 'attack'.

but what I've noticed is that the enemy is patient, exploiting your weakness, insecurities and fears,
like water slipping into the cracks in a rock, slowly wearing it down, eventually over time the rock breaks.

the enemy for me tends to work in subtle and small ways, but consistently and relentlessly, overtime people break, but tbh, recently it seems the enemy has been getting desperate.

this is why it's important to know yourself 100% and to have good mental control and focus to detect and snuff out these harmful thoughts that undermine you, remember energy goes where the mind is focused.

Start meditating, take things slow and easy but most importantly consistently, relax and enjoy yourself as you try to ground yourself, find people to talk too, if you're isolated try to find an online community that has the same hobbies as you and just have fun,
don't give these entities any attention at all.

like i said before on catalinacata's post, stop worrying, ground yourself, worrying and being paranoid wears down the mind, and thinking that you're mental ill constantly is only going to make things worse.

 

[darkmonkey666]

Your sane. You probably have some gifts that people misunderstood and labeled you as. There is a difference between psychic getting harrassed and labeled and actual mental health things. In your case pills would actually do more harm than good. I think its been stated not to talk about Gods sex lives on here or with anyone else. I am not sure if you took it too far as this got posted so just remember that.

Anyways the thing is you need to start out slow with meditation the basics. Why not start the 40 day program. It seems like you are a pluto Saturn type of person. I dont know if I am right but you might get in patterns of thinking and obsess over it be hard to change them. You might also have too much earth and find it hard to get out of a routine. If you were advanced enough id say invoke fire but hell no not at your level lol. Maybe use the mantra for the sun square a few times each day if you dont want to do the square for 40 days or do the square. Empower your solar chakra you can use the sol rune or aum Rah took. The solar chakra if I am not wrong rules motivation. Do the final rtr too it helps get rid of curses. If you have free time. You CAN do it so meditate. Not to mention enjoy life and put thoughts of worry and doubt behind you be brave.

Maybe try a couple fire mantras on you but dont overdo it. Fire is passion motivation.

 

[darkmonkey666]

Oh and I dont know much on the succubus thing so I didnt say much on that. I wanted a physical partner for now and never thought of it but in the end I may end up going that direction I dont know.
Oh and you are at the beginning stages of being open maybe a little more than me. Your not losing it mentally. Good luck.

 

[Fuchs]

Do you feel drained after the spirit sex ? Do you use the orgasmic energy to advance ? (empowering chakras etc)

 

[Gearshift]

Okay thank you guys for the responses it ranges from possibly mental illness or enemy or to being natural open.

@ Darkmonkey666 I don't think Fire mantras are a good idea though not to disrespect. Funny enough my fire is my dominant element. Without revealing specific information these are my elements: Fire: 31.9%, Water: 25.6%, Earth: 24.8%, and Air: 17.7% according to the elemental calculator this is what my chart is made up of. A while back I did do some Akausha(Akashic) vibrations the affirmation was a bit long but if I had to come up with one it would be All of my elements are completely and eternally balanced and empowered in the most happiest, beneficial, and best way for me. That way the elements are both balanced and on top of that empowered. Not sure if past tense can be added to affirmations perhaps balancing and empowering would be most appropriate in present tense.

FYI I cannot stop taking the medication. I'm sorry but I'm not gonna want to deal with another schizophrenic, psychotic breakdown and fugue state whereby I go crazy again. For example back in 2012 when I experienced it a few hours before being arrested. I walked around the block, I went to the side of the block and I blacked out completely like a dream. When I awoke I was walking back to my house on the other side so for almost 10 minutes I was blacked out walking back to my house going around the back of the block.

I will readily admit I have never felt in any way, shape, or form open to the spiritual world. If I have I just chalk it up to normal perhaps normalizing and thinking of it in such a realistic effect doesn't make me surprised or anything my Pluto in Scorpio and aspects that does not surprise me even when negativity exists in the world.

As a kid sometime around the time my father came back in my life when I was 3 years old He took me to various spiritual places at times for example his favorite speaker for guided meditation was Mahraji(Prem Rawat)(Yes the same Prem that has been accused several times of inappropriate behavior and controversy)(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prem_Rawat). Not only have I heard this guy several times both live and my father has talked about him in his younger years obsessively but on top of that not just at the convention arena at one point was I inside and following along his guided meditation but another time I was outside the staircase area of the arena playing around in my 4 or 5 year old self and I felt irradiated by the energy release of the people inside. In fact I went crazy absorbing all this energy and to the best of my knowledge was really pumped up.

My father did study quite a bit back in his home country and in America when he came on spiritual stuff like chakras, eastern studies, and psychology. Now days he doesn't study any of that or whatever but he always seemed to like it enough to pursue it for a number of years. Thinking back I'm under the assumption he is someone with a lot of problems he may have been trying to find a solution to fix his problems or perhaps avoid responsibility and not be under such conditions. Like how some people want a magic solution to their problems. Perhaps even being a victim and or victimizer.

On top of that during my mental health crises I regained a memory of my time when my father was taking me to this spiritual place called Shorade(A derivative school of Japanese Reiki). One time while playing outside in the halls this memory popped in and I remembered when I was in the building and someone's energy was launched at me the irradiation of his projection. And I felt my manipura chakra area have a metallic warble effect that I felt this significant manipulation of my chakra or chakras.

The only other occult location I knew was a man who despite kinda mixing occult with a small amount of Christianity. He wasn't a bad person he had A LOT of books on the occult like for all the slight Christian stuff he talked very occultic. For example back when I was 5 years old I couldn't defecate so my parents took me to him and he lit several cups with fire and suctioned my back after 7 minutes of these cups on my back I told him to remove it I needed to use the bathroom. So I ran to the bathroom after he removed them and I went and relieved my bowels. He had a lot of books and if I remember correctly we'd go there somewhat often talk to him and I'd read some of his books but as to what I don't remember. In fact if I remember correctly he might have been responsible for me receiving my dog or contacting someone to acquire the dog I had back then.

I will readily admit my astrological chart has a strong plutonic/saturnian aspects and a prominent neptune at least for it's position. Plus being Pluto in Scorpio generation I'm sure that is an additional multiplier of myself. I can't say much cause HP Cobra already deleted some astrological information on another thread I posted. Do I wish for a Astro chart reading sure but I'm not into electronic payment systems and whatnot. Also I have found sites to read my aspects. And yes if your wondering I do have an intense personality that is tightly gripped to a negative degree so for all the intensity I have both Sun and Moon aspects with pluto. I have a tight grip on myself and my emotions due to Saturn and whatnot hell even my Mars is prominent and yet crushed as well. So I can definitely say if I was someone who was not damaged along the way. I would be a very prominent emotional person with a self intensity a capacity to use Saturn to my advantage and on top of that a prominent Mars aspect and basically wrap myself up to be a emotional person much more so than what men are usually are but not in a bad way in a good way.

It's best to say that I've had to swallow my self emotions, expressions and aspects down deep and pilled up and up and up. I'm a very mentally absorbed person always living in my mind just like when I was in school, living in my mind ignoring the world around me. Kinda like I'm just a spectator to life and not a direct influence on life. Very similar to how I was growing up playing video games. I simply just for the most part sat next to my friend and watched him play I never really played directly as much as I should have. Kinda funny even years later when I would play my own games it's always with a bubble of ignorance going am I playing correctly, what if i can do better, why do I play with my mind blank and not thinking just feeling and intuiting. Why is it that I can't play games correctly like other people and get stuck and defeated many times not even knowing how to play greatly. I guess I just feel like I said a spectator in life just sitting back and watching everyone else live it up.

Till the fact that I don't know how to remove this death grip of emotional control and restrain both to my emotions and my self. So I really don't know how to vomit out this negativity and clear myself and somehow to the best of my abilities return to my younger self before this swallowing and suppression and be who I should be. Hell I've even gotten to the point I stopped caring myself. Truly deep down inside I don't care about myself. I've literally had incidents where people state you injured yourself and I'm like whatever and they look at me weird like "How can you not care about yourself?", "Where is your self-love?".

Kinda like how I read on a aspect I have, that I need to discover my own way of being a man and not look up to other men and believe that's the way. I need to realize I can be a man in my own way and project a healthier attitude of being a man than other so-called men.

As for the succubus thing I apologize if I said something about her personal. I'm not trying to sound disrespectful to her but it's just a few simple things that may not be big foe'pas. Just to state what is going on during my time of this occurring.

BTW back in my mental health crisis occurring she did interact with me. In fact when I told her about she said that might as well keep an eye on you and play with you to lighten up your mental health problems. She told me she would routinely keep an eye on me and inform Satan at times about my condition. Judging from her expression I got the idea I became a concern to beings of higher power.

 

[Gearshift]

Do you feel drained after the spirit sex ? Do you use the orgasmic energy to advance ? (empowering chakras etc)

That is the thing I don't know. Truly have no idea what is going on by anything but my physical reality.

The only thing I can state is even till just a few months back when I would sleep 12-15 hours day. I often would wake up more tired than the previous day. In fact I remember a while back I stayed awake till 7:30 Am eating my breakfast and despite slight mental and physical fatigue it was way better than when I slept through the night. Recently I've been waking up earlier and not having issues as much as I would state with being too tired almost like sleeping less helped.

I do remember one time my succubus told me she can't spend the night with me and was busy so I said okay. The room felt eerily quite I woke up great. Is it possible that when she is with me she does things, maybe. It has been said these incubi/succubi beings do come at night and interact with you. Which I find funny because if the soul is tied to the body. Then don't I need an erection to interact with them? Isn't it a requirement for my soul to interact with hers?

As for orgasmic energy such as for example masturbating I try my best but no I don't know what to do. Honestly even reading the amount of years of information I read on other members including the JoS circulating the energy. Doesn't really help me out in any way. Have I tried my best to do some thing with it. Sure but it just feels very mentally annoying and fatiguing. I simply want to get off I don't want to think about spiritual stuff or anything dealing with my soul or dealing with a spell. I've pretty much gotten to the point where the only thing I do is visualize Satan's Grail sigil in electric blue and light it up in white-gold and tell him to take it. I even visualize him to the best of my ability grabbing the energy in the air in front of him. Sorta like Thanks for the energy.

But other than that I really don't feel like I deeply and intuitively understand empowerment of my own self or coming up with a affirmation just in time due to the energy. Like I said I simply want to get off if my energy goes somewhere well then it goes somewhere. I don't know.

 

[Rook]

Okay thank you guys for the responses it ranges from possibly mental illness or enemy or to being natural open.

Literally no one here said you were mentally ill.

In fact when I told her about she said that might as well keep an eye on you and play with you to lighten up your mental health problems. She told me she would routinely keep an eye on me and inform Satan at times about my condition. Judging from her expression I got the idea I became a concern to beings of higher power.

Umm you did read AT LEAST the front page of JOS right?
you know specifically the part where it said:

We work directly with Satan. We believe each and every person who is willing and respectful can have a personal relationship with Satan. There are no mediators in Spiritual Satanism; the Ministry is here only for guidance and support.

There're no mediators in SS, Satan doesn't need someone to relay info to him, no one comes between you and Satan, he knows you inside out at all times.
whatever you're talking to, is deceiving and manipulating you,
ignore it completely, don't even sympathize with it.

also learn to summarize

 

[Taol]

FYI I cannot stop taking the medication. I'm sorry but I'm not gonna want to deal with another schizophrenic, psychotic breakdown and fugue state whereby I go crazy again. For example back in 2012 when I experienced it a few hours before being arrested. I walked around the block, I went to the side of the block and I blacked out completely like a dream. When I awoke I was walking back to my house on the other side so for almost 10 minutes I was blacked out walking back to my house going around the back of the block.

I will readily admit I have never felt in any way, shape, or form open to the spiritual world. <<Read below = These are spiritual experiences ..>>

...his favorite speaker for guided meditation was Mahraji(Prem Rawat)(Yes the same Prem that has been accused several times of inappropriate behavior and controversy)(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prem_Rawat). Not only have I heard this guy several times both live and my father has talked about him in his younger years obsessively but on top of that not just at the convention arena at one point was I inside and following along his guided meditation but another time I was outside the staircase area of the arena playing around in my 4 or 5 year old self and I felt irradiated by the energy release of the people inside. In fact I went crazy absorbing all this energy and to the best of my knowledge was really pumped up.

...

On top of that during my mental health crises I regained a memory of my time when my father was taking me to this spiritual place called Shorade(A derivative school of Japanese Reiki). One time while playing outside in the halls this memory popped in and I remembered when I was in the building and someone's energy was launched at me the irradiation of his projection. And I felt my manipura chakra area have a metallic warble effect that I felt this significant manipulation of my chakra or chakras.

...

... I have a tight grip on myself and my emotions due to Saturn and whatnot hell even my Mars is prominent and yet crushed as well. So I can definitely say if I was someone who was not damaged along the way. I would be a very prominent emotional person with a self intensity a capacity to use Saturn to my advantage and on top of that a prominent Mars aspect and basically wrap myself up to be a emotional person much more so than what men are usually are but not in a bad way in a good way.

It's best to say that I've had to swallow my self emotions, expressions and aspects down deep and pilled up and up and up. I'm a very mentally absorbed person always living in my mind just like when I was in school, living in my mind ignoring the world around me. Kinda like I'm just a spectator to life and not a direct influence on life. Very similar to how I was growing up playing video games. I simply just for the most part sat next to my friend and watched him play I never really played directly as much as I should have. Kinda funny even years later when I would play my own games it's always with a bubble of ignorance going am I playing correctly, what if i can do better, why do I play with my mind blank and not thinking just feeling and intuiting. Why is it that I can't play games correctly like other people and get stuck and defeated many times not even knowing how to play greatly.

Till the fact that I don't know how to remove this death grip of emotional control and restrain both to my emotions and my self. So I really don't know how to vomit out this negativity and clear myself and somehow to the best of my abilities return to my younger self before this swallowing and suppression and be who I should be.
...

Kinda like how I read on a aspect I have, that I need to discover my own way of being a man and not look up to other men and believe that's the way. I need to realize I can be a man in my own way and project a healthier attitude of being a man than other so-called men.

I seriously needed to shorten the post, but look at the highlighted parts anyway. If random people blast you with negative energy this a spiritual attack.

If you're not doing so already, really do the Final RTR and the cleaning aura thing HPS maxine wrote about and everyone keeps repeating to do these together. Maybe you need to do the latter twice a day.
Its also said that the mantra Suryae works to kick out curses and increases your energy. You could try adding that one into your routine.

The fact that you do feel tired with stuff around does make me think that there may be energy leeched off you.
In case of recieving energy of any kind there is a chance that links are formed and those can drain your energy. There is a page on specific detaching on the Meditation section, but I'd rather recommend that you look up the method HP Hoodedcobra wrote about on page 50/51 of his PDF (Satans Library).

Here you are speaking about the mental illness part but to me it just sounds like you're some kind of total airhead detached from the world.
But.. isn't this also known to happen to people that go overboard with spiritual practices and then have a harder time to get back to the here and now?
How about physical exercise? Im not talking about yoga here, does that help you at all to feel a bit more grounded and a bit more in control? To let off some steam maybe following kick boxing lessons (Im just saying something)

Actually I kind of understand what you mean there.. and as such I want to say this. You may feel frustrated and want to tear it all open, kill people and tear every limb off them if you went full out.. but..
For some reason you can't.
The first question would be, are you ready to do so in the first place?

I wanted to but I wasn't.

Sometimes there are too many things going on and there needs to be some space to be created to access what needs to be worked with at that time.
You could try doing a freeing the soul working though for a minor problem or Lydia's healing from psychological damage..

When things are too much to cope with.. the mind seeks a way out. Memories get repressed. Your vision on life gets stuck or on loop. You end up in a literal hellhole and whatever anyone says you won't believe them. (This is an example of depression here) Your feelings go numb or stuck on the same thing and at some point all the crap becomes so overbearing that all you can do is hurt yourself in some way. Even if when you are calmed down you wouldn't want to do that at all.

And I am sorry that all I can say to that is that it takes time. And cleaning. And if you play a ton of games because of that, if you can't face more than that right now, then that is good too. But keep doing the cleaning. Keep doing the aop. Keep doing an RTR here and there. Just keep going and don't give up. Over some time the problem will get lighter, some of the (trivial) things will clear up, you will get the space that you need to address what you need to eventually face at that point.
Spending just a few minutes with yourself -no distractions- can be very good too.

As for the 'cant feel' part.. I bet you do listen to music. Have you ever listened to specific melodies? How did they make you feel?
Classic music? Maybe Beethovens ? .. what was it? Spring? Summer? Something like that. Or maybe you like to listen to Heavy Metal.. Or.. music with a ton of beats like.. nightcore styles of music xD. Or more rythmic types..
Or more earthy pagan types of music.. lol

A lot of emotion can be invoked or expressed through music. If you are depressed and you listen to a lot of depressive music you can say, I am expressiong my depression, but you can in the same time also invoke the depressive feelings and negative affirmations that come through the music.
I am not saying that sad music doesn't have a place, I am saying to listen to those with moderation.

K this next thing may be a bit over the top but you can try dancing too. Try to feel what the music is like through your body. Maybe you go hardstyle jumping or something. Or do all kinds of random karate kicks or do something more like the 8 brokates or end up doing a ton of spins and pirouettes or maybe you're more of a gentleman and end up doing something more traditional like a quickstep or salsa or tango (though I don't think you can do the tango solo very well but you get the idea).

Some people express themselves through painting or other crafts, like making something out of clay, but I think, that the best way to adress it can be through what appeals to you most.

 

[Gearshift]

...

Yes of course I read the front page. I've been at this game nearing 16 years now.

From reading the page. Mediators is meant in a physical concept. If it where spiritual they'd put that as well. I mean your basically making it sound like Satan is an omni-giga-super-being that does not need information relayed to him. Almost makes it sound like since he knows don't worry. If he knew why would people pray(telepathic) messages to inform him of something. Like for example say there is a crazed person who may cause harm and someone prays to Satan. Are you Rook implying that he knows of that already and doesn't need information and even if he knew it may or may not happen where the person creates an issue. After all the Earth isn't under our sides control. The surface world is very much a battleground.

...

First T.A.O.L. the incident with arena and my manipura chakra happened sometime around when I was 4 or 5. To my knowledge it wasn't negative just a metallic warble feel. And basically going crazy feeling peoples energies.

No I hate music. In fact I pretty much listen to the same bands just some songs. I don't even bother listening to entire albums just a few songs that I seem to may like. But deep down inside I really hate music. Sometimes I may put on the radio and listen to classic rock but most of the time I drive without any music at all. Just mindful of my driving. Classical music forget about it the few times I had to listen to it, it just either makes me sad and depressed or for the most part it just pisses me off. Overall I find classical music just very anger inducing.

Last year I did Lydia's 88 Vynn vibration on a specific date some Pisces date, the affirmation felt a bit weird lacking eternal but non-the less at least I stuck through for 40 days was gonna do 90 but the 88 vibrations got to me in spending nearing 20 minutes. Also found it a bit strange she mentioned "ways" rather than "way" but I guess she was just being mindful of other paths that can help direct the energy.

I have been doing Munka since January 6th, I failed to do it once or twice so on the 26th I'll stop and carry on the 27th Moon in Aquarius freeing the soul. And hopefully stick with it forever it literally takes 10 minutes for the 63 vibrations; or 9 into the chakras per centerline chakra as per Lydia's munka working. I kinda prefer it cause someone mentioned all this karma comes out and everyday something negative pops up. I guess I'd rather do a brute force release rather than a shallow dive of 108 munka in general to the whole body.

While I have done a few physical exercises like pushups and whatnot helped at least gain enough strength for headstand. Honestly I hate exercising even as a kid I neglected my body. I have read exercise is good for my Neptunian position and aspect. The only form of exercise I do is walking around my house each day I spend anywhere from as little as combined two hours to as much as combined 6 hours walking around either in my house or just walking around back and forth in my room.

Honestly I have nothing that appeals to me most. When I was a kid I did go to an art school or at least a trial period. And looking back then it's like "What artistic talent". I mean what I barely can draw and write kinda like the joke my teachers would say often "Chicken scratch handwriting". The only thing that appeals to me most being honest is sex. And considering how I live and don't go out or anything it's like "What sex".

It's like my time reading up on the JoS back all those 16 years ago. I actually came because of the sex. At first interest in lucid dreaming and astral projection as well as other spiritual things. But honestly once I read the succubus/incubus page it really spoke to me. So I joined up simply for sex. Funny enough in Yahoo and ProPhP I pretty much ran into at least one other person stating the same thing. They pretty much just came for the sex. In fact it happened another time with someone else though I can't remember exactly how many people said the same thing perhaps less than 5.

One last thing T.A.O.L. you state those things as spiritual experiences but to me it's not even anything special. When I began to read this website the expectation was that if your doing it right don't be surprised if things happen. Now how can I feel something if nothing is felt. For example yes I had the third eye pressure. Or sensation on my forehead but it's nothing special. It's like for example only in recent times can I feel the vibration in say the center of my brain. But nothing activates or anything. I simply do the vibration, program the energy, and will the energy in. I know it takes time but I will admit I do have a Saturn aspect that makes me think why I'm wasting my time when there are more important things to do. It's a very clockwork aspect that can be deemed negative as you feel like time is slipping by and you grow more depressed thinking what can be done better with my time.

 

[Rook]

Yes of course I read the front page. I've been at this game nearing 16 years now.

Noted, however if that was the case you'd have known the entity you're speaking to was full of BS, and you wouldn't have had this problem to begin with.

From reading the page. Mediators is meant in a physical concept. If it where spiritual they'd put that as well.

No it's not, if it was they'd have stated that it was a physical concept.
if it was a physical concept, guess what, the enemy would pretend to be a meditator and many people would have been fucked over.

I mean your basically making it sound like Satan is an omni-giga-super-being that does not need information relayed to him.

You've got somewhat impertinent wording, however he is the most powerful being ever known to mankind, his power is incomprehensable to us.
"There is no place in the universe that knows not my presence."
-The Al Jilwah

Almost makes it sound like since he knows don't worry.

It really doesn't feel like you read at all,
"Unlike other religions, Satanism exposes us to many different experiences, so that we may become strong, knowledgeable, independent, and confident in our own abilities. Outsiders who have little or no experience with the astral are completely at the mercy of any entities they may encounter, because of a lack of knowledge, preparation, and experience."
- Dealing with unwanted entities.
+ all the stuff i said in my intial post here.

If he knew why would people pray(telepathic) messages to inform him of something. Like for example say there is a crazed person who may cause harm and someone prays to Satan. Are you Rook implying that he knows of that already and doesn't need information and even if he knew it may or may not happen where the person creates an issue.

Yes, I Rook, am implying that.

The Commandments of Satan[/url] "]"I EXERCISE DOMINION OVER ALL CREATURES AND OVER THE AFFAIRS OF ALL WHO ARE UNDER THE PROTECTION OF MY IMAGE. I AM EVER PRESENT TO HELP ALL WHO TRUST IN ME AND CALL UPON ME IN TIME OF NEED."
Satan is always true to his word. Many of us are well aware of how our lives were straightened out after we made a commitment to Satan. He snaps us into line, guides us, and directs us to what we need to do to be focused and happy. When we dedicate our souls to him, we are always under his protection and he is always there for us. Satan has always been there for me. There were times when I was having problems and Father Satan came to me before I even had to ask and helped me out. It is very important to trust in Father Satan. He works with every one of us to establish trust. He is honest, truthful, and consistent and he keeps his word. He meets us more than half way.

I too have had this happen to me, they're times were i'm faced with a problem but i've had the knowledge of it find it's way to me ahead of time,
knowing and understanding the problem is the 1st step to solving it,
Satan and your GD will guide you if you seek it out, but like one of the quotes i said before, we come INDEPENDENT and confident in our own abilities, Satan and our GD aren't here to hold our hand and make us dependent on them.

After all the Earth isn't under our sides control. The surface world is very much a battleground.

"There is a positive and negative side to all things to keep them in balance --
to keep the Universe going. There are awful and terrible things that must happen,
destructive deathly things, and there are good and miraculous things that must
happen full of life and creative construction. It seems this would come to each
randomly and it seems thus it should continue this way for eternity. This is not
true. And this is the essence of Who I Am. "
- excerpt from Spiritual Warfare Message from Satan
Now you've said you're 'at this game nearing 16 years now' so i suppose that means you're considered knowledgeable about all if not most of what is written on JOS?
if so then i suppose it's irrelevant for me to point these things out to you then.

 

[Fuchs]

Do you feel drained after the spirit sex ? Do you use the orgasmic energy to advance ? (empowering chakras etc)

That is the thing I don't know. Truly have no idea what is going on by anything but my physical reality.

The only thing I can state is even till just a few months back when I would sleep 12-15 hours day. I often would wake up more tired than the previous day. In fact I remember a while back I stayed awake till 7:30 Am eating my breakfast and despite slight mental and physical fatigue it was way better than when I slept through the night. Recently I've been waking up earlier and not having issues as much as I would state with being too tired almost like sleeping less helped.

I do remember one time my succubus told me she can't spend the night with me and was busy so I said okay. The room felt eerily quite I woke up great. Is it possible that when she is with me she does things, maybe. It has been said these incubi/succubi beings do come at night and interact with you. Which I find funny because if the soul is tied to the body. Then don't I need an erection to interact with them? Isn't it a requirement for my soul to interact with hers?

As for orgasmic energy such as for example masturbating I try my best but no I don't know what to do. Honestly even reading the amount of years of information I read on other members including the JoS circulating the energy. Doesn't really help me out in any way. Have I tried my best to do some thing with it. Sure but it just feels very mentally annoying and fatiguing. I simply want to get off I don't want to think about spiritual stuff or anything dealing with my soul or dealing with a spell. I've pretty much gotten to the point where the only thing I do is visualize Satan's Grail sigil in electric blue and light it up in white-gold and tell him to take it. I even visualize him to the best of my ability grabbing the energy in the air in front of him. Sorta like Thanks for the energy.

But other than that I really don't feel like I deeply and intuitively understand empowerment of my own self or coming up with a affirmation just in time due to the energy. Like I said I simply want to get off if my energy goes somewhere well then it goes somewhere. I don't know.

using orgasmic energy is easy. just concentrate on your genital/energy around try to suck it up to the chakra you want to empower. for exampel:
Affirm : I´m using this orgasmic energy to open my first chakra, fully, stable , permanent, in a positive and healthy way for me. x 9 times.

There are technikes to separate orgasm from getting off. so you could have as much orgasm you want.
Look for the book mantak chia the multiorgasmik men.

I did try the advice from the entity to hold the energy 3-5 sec. it helped a lot well the meditation time expandet from 20 min to 40 but well it was a good experiance.
I don´t know if enemy entitys also give sometimes good advice.

sleeping 12-15 hours a day is a sign of depression/ low energy. how often do you masturbate and gett off per weak?
with most things in life to much is not good. to less also. try to use the energy as i did discreabe above.

start the 40 day programm don´t scip a day. if you do, do it double the day after.
I once did 4,5 hours aop because i was 1 week away :lol: . it was not a pleasant experience. it trains you to not scip .

for your aop you can use motivatet in the affirmation. it helps also.

 

[Gearshift]

...

Rook..Rook....Rook of course you should point these things out to me. But in all honestly your to a degree reading too much into it. I understand what you mean don't get me wrong but when your someone like me. It gets to the point where religion and spirituality start to become a joke. I mean your talking to a person that if somehow they were an active person properly meditating from the start properly and it worked. I'd probably not even be on these forums communicating because I'd be at least on some reasonable level advanced enough to not need these forums.

Look Rook your talking to a person with A LOT of problems. Your talking to person who's hardly if ever enjoyed their life. Your talking to a person who is completely sick and fucking tired of the same shit every day. Rook your talking to a person who is so utterly burnt out in life and in all activities. That it surprises me I even emit emotions or emit any desire to do something.

On some level Rook and this is gonna sound like I'm bashing you but in a friendly manner. Your basically taking things like the bible. I mean I've had my moments where I thought is the JoS just as some anti-JoS groups are an electronic-cult. Funny enough I did over the years spend time researching anti-JoS groups and I never found any of their assessments true. The only one I found interesting is one of them believed that we are reverse Xtians because some people take the word of the website as God and become addicted to it. I mean hell I dedicated not even two weeks into finding the website back when I was 12 years old.

Rook your talking to a person who only entered this website because 1) Aside from fun spiritual activities like astral projection, 2) Succubus or sexual activities I have had a sexual mindset probably since I was a toddler probably around 3 or 4 maybe 5 years old, 3) Despite my neo-nazism growing up watching a lot of History Channel and reading the Internet like visiting Axis History forums, I liked the JoS promotion of Nazism. In fact it took me a long time to appreciate the proper Nazism and not my hate filled neo-nazism that I had in my mind. I mean hell sometimes I do have my moments of weakness and fall back to my neo-nazi moods.

So basically I joined JoS because 1) Fun, 2) Sex, 3) Nazism. If it weren't for the Blacksun website I'd probably ignore the JoS and probably come to the realization religion and spirituality are non-sense or simply that religion is a curse on spirituality and dogmatic aspects of religion ruin the original freedom aspect of spirituality and it's originality.

...

All of that is nice and all Multiple-Orgasm. But guess what I've been reading all of that since I about the time I got the internet. Hell I remember spending quite a lot of time researching Jelqing back when I reached 11 years old. The arabian act of penile stretches to grow your member longer.

Hell it's probably one of the reasons all this research I did that I found luckily for me, TOTSE; or the Temple of the Screaming Eagles. Funny enough not even like two years after finding and reading this website it went offline. They just posted well the end days are coming TOTSE is shutting down after this date. Thanks for the ride guys.

Multiple-orgasm training and this and that is just too strenuous. I just want to get off, I'm not the right person to practice these things. I've done all these things like edging and whatnot and it just doesn't work for me. It literally doesn't make me feel better or enjoy better or anything. I simply want to get off, I don't want to go through an ordeal of manipulating myself for hours and just achieve an orgasm that may or may not be better.

Wait Fuchs 20 minutes to 40 minutes for a basic aura of protection. What are you talking about?. All I do is breathe in say 6 or 7 breaths, then hold my exhale, state in my mind the affirmation, then take a breath do that 3 times for 3 affirmations, then visualize my aura brighten up to increase the light. It takes less than two minutes. How can you spend 20 to 40 minutes protecting yourself if your not doing Runic or Sanskirt(Surya/Raum) protection. Hell even with the basic both white-gold and solar white-gold energies it barely reaches 4 minutes. On the 40-day guide it states aura of protection time period of less than a few minutes so a total of AC/AP/VM/Meditations at about less than 15 minutes.

 

[Taol]

...

First T.A.O.L. the incident with arena and my manipura chakra happened sometime around when I was 4 or 5. To my knowledge it wasn't negative just a metallic warble feel. And basically going crazy feeling peoples energies. [1]

No I hate music. In fact I pretty much listen to the same bands just some songs. I don't even bother listening to entire albums just a few songs that I seem to may like. But deep down inside I really hate music. Sometimes I may put on the radio and listen to classic rock but most of the time I drive without any music at all. Just mindful of my driving. Classical music forget about it the few times I had to listen to it, it just either makes me sad and depressed or for the most part it just pisses me off. Overall I find classical music just very anger inducing.[2]

Last year I did Lydia's 88 Vynn vibration on a specific date some Pisces date, the affirmation felt a bit weird lacking eternal but non-the less at least I stuck through for 40 days was gonna do 90 but the 88 vibrations got to me in spending nearing 20 minutes. Also found it a bit strange she mentioned "ways" rather than "way" but I guess she was just being mindful of other paths that can help direct the energy.

I have been doing Munka since January 6th, I failed to do it once or twice so on the 26th I'll stop and carry on the 27th Moon in Aquarius freeing the soul. And hopefully stick with it forever it literally takes 10 minutes for the 63 vibrations; or 9 into the chakras per centerline chakra as per Lydia's munka working. I kinda prefer it cause someone mentioned all this karma comes out and everyday something negative pops up. I guess I'd rather do a brute force release rather than a shallow dive of 108 munka in general to the whole body. [3]

While I have done a few physical exercises like pushups and whatnot helped at least gain enough strength for headstand. Honestly I hate exercising even as a kid I neglected my body. I have read exercise is good for my Neptunian position and aspect. The only form of exercise I do is walking around my house each day I spend anywhere from as little as combined two hours to as much as combined 6 hours walking around either in my house or just walking around back and forth in my room.

Honestly I have nothing that appeals to me most. When I was a kid I did go to an art school or at least a trial period. And looking back then it's like "What artistic talent". I mean what I barely can draw and write kinda like the joke my teachers would say often "Chicken scratch handwriting". The only thing that appeals to me most being honest is sex. And considering how I live and don't go out or anything it's like "What sex".

It's like my time reading up on the JoS back all those 16 years ago. I actually came because of the sex. At first interest in lucid dreaming and astral projection as well as other spiritual things. But honestly once I read the succubus/incubus page it really spoke to me. So I joined up simply for sex. Funny enough in Yahoo and ProPhP I pretty much ran into at least one other person stating the same thing. They pretty much just came for the sex. In fact it happened another time with someone else though I can't remember exactly how many people said the same thing perhaps less than 5. [4]

One last thing T.A.O.L. you state those things as spiritual experiences but to me it's not even anything special. When I began to read this website the expectation was that if your doing it right don't be surprised if things happen. Now how can I feel something if nothing is felt. For example yes I had the third eye pressure. Or sensation on my forehead but it's nothing special. It's like for example only in recent times can I feel the vibration in say the center of my brain. But nothing activates or anything. I simply do the vibration, program the energy, and will the energy in. I know it takes time but I will admit I do have a Saturn aspect that makes me think why I'm wasting my time when there are more important things to do. It's a very clockwork aspect that can be deemed negative as you feel like time is slipping by and you grow more depressed thinking what can be done better with my time. [5]

First, when I read this, I may have misunderstood a few things, and there are a few other things that I'd like to say too. I numbered the parts so it'd be easier for me to reply.

1) Feeling (a lot of) peoples energy at once is rough to handle. I can understand that you say you felt like going crazy. Do you still have that today?
Exchanging energies can leave links (hence why I said do the detaching). People may be draining you, even if it was a long time ago, and this defeats the purpose of your meditation as the energy that you did raise could be drained away, but can also affect you in ways that you may not realize.

2) How come you hate music? Also.. it's been mentioned that the classical music had gained some corruption in them and that it may be unnatural. This was from the time Hitler was around back before the second World War.
And a lot of music nowadays may have some corruption or negative vibe in them...

3) 20 minutes is not a whole lot though to be honest.. but if you have other meditations it can be quite a bit.
Oh! do you also do the cleaning of the chakras that HPS maxine posted about earlier this year? She said visualize light above one chakra only (say crown in example) and then move the light through the chakra from the widest part to the point at least 5 times and push the dirt out (it more or less went like that). She also said you could do that up to 25 times for one chakra too. And then move on to the next so 6th if you're working top to bottom.

4) Heh.. I don't like running. But I had to ran frequently for school and then when I didn't for a week or so my body craved it. Probably just the exercise though.
Aside from your interest in sex, do you have any hobbies?
To be honest.. most boys handwriting is absolute trash. Im not even kidding. It is soo sooo bad and hard to read.. And then of course they carry this on in adulthood.. There were classes actually meant to learn us write properly lol.
Don't feel bad about that lol.

Art can be in many forms and many ways you know. It doesn't just have to be drawing. (Though I guess drawing/painting and music are the most well known ones).

5) If some things are already somewhat normal to you you don't look up from them immediately. It's like you try to do something and then expect to be a Firebender from day one. Though it may not be bad to strive to reach a level similar to that lol. Though I guess.. bending elements like that may be more typical of telekinesis but.. whatever.

Maybe you just need to add a bit more active elements to your meditation.. have you just done.. visualizing exercises? maybe.. just an example here.. but you could try working on going into a light trance and then lets say.. use the technique of the foundation meditation but focus it on a single point only, lets say.. like making a small type of ball with it, and then moving it through you, from one hand through your arm and shoulders, arm to the other hand. Afterwards you could just program the energy to do something positive for you.
Just one thing though.. after trances you need to move around (and eat) and get grounded again.

===
K so here is what I wanted to say. And they're basicly two things.

The first one you probably won't like reading this, but ill say it anyway.
When you take that medication.. your body gets used to it over time. And because it responds less and less to that dose (same is what happens to addicted people) the dose is increased. After some time they may decide to switch you onto a different substance altogether.
Those drugs, can also tie down how you feel. Flatten your emotions. That is one thing. The other is, that some of the psychiatric drugs (same goes for weed just saying) can INDUCE psychosis. You may not have been having that in the first place, but somehow ended up with it later on.
I understand where you are coming from and I am not saying to get rid of your medication.. but rather than relying on something external to keep you in your place.. shouldn't you maybe try to work and improve on yourself to a point where you could slowly chip away the medication and then be able to be in control of yourself as a natural person without any fcked up substance?
I think also to get the info you need for that, you probably should go ask Satan yourself.

The other is.. well.. I wanted to share something about a friend that I had. I'll call her Sol for this post. Name chosen is a bit ironic though just saying.
I'd been friends with her for a while when she told me that she was struggling with going out in the sun. Sol told me that she'd been hallucinating whenever she went outside in the sun for too long. At some point we started talking about spiritual stuff too. Pendulums and such.
I hadn't seen or spoken to her in a while and I knew that she had been taken to a youth psychiatric hospital kind of place. Sometimes I went to visit her on weekends that she was home, at first, but after some time I kind of lost the contact with her.
A couple of years later, we ended up talking again and decided to hang out with her at Sols place. I could tell she had changed. Weather or not it was due to the medication or other, I didn't know. She told me a few things about what had been going on in the meantime but she seemed very closed off.. We spoke of a few things that I'd not mention here for the sake of keeping the story short..
But then we tried reading pictures, or photo's rather. Some times I noticed that she'd get a bit paranoid and lost herself in what she was doing. Sol had already told me that there were some things that she was struggling with, voices in her head and such that I knew were not there before.
Because of her paranoia probably she kept going on more into the new agey stuff and angel prayers and the like because she felt like it gave her some peace.
I wasn't able to keep in contact with her after that, but I still hope that Sol finds the way out of that situation.

What I mean by this example is.. that even if you are dabbling with stuff.. you need to be clear-headed. Control over your mind is so important.
When there are psychic experiences and fantasy that could intermix you really need to learn the difference between the two. And this also goes for control over your emotions in that you shouldn't let a thought spiral out of control like.. 'Im failing.. oh crap.. I can't do this.. yada yada' and then getting stuck in a place out of fear or other emotional distress.
This is very dangerous as SS too when you are increasing your energies as well. Don't panik. Niet piekeren. Don't worry or puzzle till your head gets stuck on an infinite loop. It is okay to overthink things though.. to get a different perspective if that is needed.. but it stops at that.
It may be easy for me to say all this, and not really understood by others, and I may still make plenty of mistakes myself regarding this, but it is important.

I am at a loss for saying what could exactly be a fake experience entirely compared to talking to your mind.. and it could very well differ for anyone. We all come here at different levels of openness and one way of interacting may not go exactly the same for everyone even if they have the tendency to interact in that particular way.

 

[Rook]

<summary>
i've got a lot of problems, so my life sucks.
i just came to get a succubus and have sex, couldn't care about the rest except the nazi stuff.

well you should have said that sooner, so i'd know you're not serious at all.
Yes you obviously have problems, and you're obviously not going to solve any at this point.

See, i'm not sure exactly sure what you mean by 'taking things like the bible' i'm going to assume it's because i'm knowledgeable about the things written on JOS, thing is most xians don't know much about the bible at all, in fact they're like you, ignorant of what it actually is, as you're ignorant of what's on the JOS.

Assuming you read anything i posted before, as i pointed out that everything you said were basically BS.
besides that remember, when i said the 1st step to solving problems is knowing and understanding it?
See i helped you understand the problem by making you more knowledgeable about it(assuming you read it), but you gave me a sob story.
Let me tell you something, everyone has problems bro, especially SS, the path of an SS is not easy as most other people have it.

You pointed out that you wanted astral sex etc, thing is, i'm sure you know you need to have your senses open for that to work, and i'm sure you tried to do this.
I'm also sure you know that our enemies don't want us to advance and they're going to try everything to stop us, other's who're not dedicated end up in a lot of shit as they have no protection from our enemies, and they're taken for a wild ride in dreamland deluding themselves, you're rather close to dreamland if not there already.
SS however are protected by Satan, so we can advance without being destroyed by the enemy.

I left links for a reason, in hopes that you'd click it and read what's there, but it's obvious you're not interested as you're here to dream about sex, this is why you have problems, in the last link i previously left, this is the 1st thing it said right after the title -

[Concerning those who only care about themselves and see Satanism as a religion only for the self and disregard Satan]
"They are of no importance to me."
-Satan

 

[Taol]

...

Actually.. I think getting a chart reading may actually benefit you..

There was something I hadn't said but.. I was wondering about something that bothered me and I asked a fellow SS about it and she asked if I had done anything catharic about it yet and if not she suggested to do so in a ritual to Satan, asking for help in overcoming any issues..
I thought I may as well add that here in case you need to do the same.

 

[Gearshift]

...

Actually.. I think getting a chart reading may actually benefit you..

There was something I hadn't said but.. I was wondering about something that bothered me and I asked a fellow SS about it and she asked if I had done anything catharic about it yet and if not she suggested to do so in a ritual to Satan, asking for help in overcoming any issues..
I thought I may as well add that here in case you need to do the same.

I don't have any form of electronic capacity to pay for that nor do I want to. Cause I think it's just a waste of money. Not that I don't believe in astrology just what's it gonna tell me that I already wasted well over a decade nearing two decade not enjoying my life.

Yeah sure I get a reading Cobra is unavailable but Lydia is. Okay sure wonderful but how do I know it's right. There is literally thousands of astrologers with different things. I mean it's not that I'm trying to be a disrespectful asshole it's just at what point do we know it's the supposed King of Kings astrological chart. I mean we don't have beings of higher power and books from other worlds deciding the situation with astrology. We have basically the kaballah of people learning things either from rumors, hidden books, or destroyed or semi-destroyed works. Basically like anything really we had to research and process stuff. Funny enough it's a spiritual thing that has been HEAVILY corrupted and destroyed to the point it's coveted by the Jews like in Spain back before the expulsion reading Chaldean books on spiritual stuff much like astrology.

Assuming you read anything i posted before, as i pointed out that everything you said were basically BS.
besides that remember, when i said the 1st step to solving problems is knowing and understanding it?
See i helped you understand the problem by making you more knowledgeable about it(assuming you read it), but you gave me a sob story.
Let me tell you something, everyone has problems bro, especially SS, the path of an SS is not easy as most other people have it.

You pointed out that you wanted astral sex etc, thing is, i'm sure you know you need to have your senses open for that to work, and i'm sure you tried to do this.
I'm also sure you know that our enemies don't want us to advance and they're going to try everything to stop us, other's who're not dedicated end up in a lot of shit as they have no protection from our enemies, and they're taken for a wild ride in dreamland deluding themselves, you're rather close to dreamland if not there already.
SS however are protected by Satan, so we can advance without being destroyed by the enemy.

I left links for a reason, in hopes that you'd click it and read what's there, but it's obvious you're not interested as you're here to dream about sex, this is why you have problems, in the last link i previously left, this is the 1st thing it said right after the title -

[Concerning those who only care about themselves and see Satanism as a religion only for the self and disregard Satan]
"They are of no importance to me."
-Satan

So Rook what your trying to state is that it is wrong for a person to join Spiritual Satanism. That I should have never entered this religion in any, way, shape or form. Because being 12 years old at the time and being the way that I am is wrong. That it gets to the point I grew up wrong because I'm some sort of crazy, delusional person who should never be in any religion or form of spirituality.

In fact funny enough about two years later in 2004 I told my friend about this, I felt comfortable in him knowing. I told him to study everything. He spent a few days researching around and after that asked me to join so I handed him my Black Candle. And dedicated, ironically enough his family left for a restaurant for that day strangely as his family never leaves the house they just up and left and left him alone in the house. Funny enough he grew up just like me I met him in pre-kindergarten I sat down next to him looked him in the eyes and said Hi, My name is this, would you like to be my friend. He replies Hi, my name is so and so, and yes I'd like to be your friend. Even though we had our time apart growing up he pretty much grew up much like me. The only difference is he doesn't have a mental illness and other things that make him who he is. For example he pretty much grew up with the same statement why is the Axis the bad guys they seem too cool. As one video game I played with stated Style > Substance(Style over substance). It's just like when playing all those years ago Call of Duty or Wolfenstein Enemy Territory axis wins so much times people simply play Axis all the time and ironically enough 70-90% of victories in the game are Axis wins. I always grew up suspicious that these guys aren't these evil bad guys from Jewlywood and whatnot. In fact I relished in all these things for years watching just about every day History Channel and researching stuff on the internet. Funny enough my friend was a big Medal of Honor fan and that also helped him understand his attraction to Axis powers.

Are you implying that it is wrong of me to introduce him to something? To lift him out of the negativity of neo-nazism and negativity of the world. Are you implying that I ruined his life by introducing him to something better?

Are you Rook implying I should have remained my hate filled killer mentality neo-nazi self and never bothered with the Joy of Satan ministries and it's O.G. Nazism. That I should have remained an evil person with a lot of hate always thinking about killing people and murdering people and sex and WW2 and alternative scenarios of Axis victory. Are you implying like Queen states in Bohemian Rhapsody "Is this just life or is this just fantasy?"

Rook are you implying that my existence in this organization both towards the political and spiritual arm of it is non-existent and that even my dedication is not even a real binding contract?

It's much like one of my astrological aspects that states pretty much with your astrological aspect the only thing you should do is enjoy your life just live it up as for whatever things you did in your past life or lives is to rectify the mistakes of living in a South Node Leo(Royal or high level individual) and continuing a path of over-control and whatnot pretty much one of the reasons for my Saturn aspect. Basically it states take it easy, live it up, and enjoy life cause it's short and is gonna end.

It's funny Rook your last statement Concerning themselves. What else am I to concern myself with that statement to me seems very perplexing and Biblical. The sheer fact is if we don't care about ourselves how will we care for others. This self-love and self-improvement coexist, your basically stating that I need to somehow help a being of higher power or beings that somehow a mere mortal can help them out. For example December 23 is Satan's Birthday, how can I even give something to a being a of higher power who literally has done it all and is in possession of vast material and spiritual wealth. Basically it's gotten to the point where sometimes I doubt a being of higher power helps people just to do one rtr. I've heard of it someone states let me summon this demon and let me do 1 RTR.

In fact funny enough back then right up till 2013 just about before 2014 we had our monthly and bi-monthly rituals. Enochian rituals and even a few blood sacrifice rituals by staining runic images along with vibration. Funny enough the only ones that did it are people who literally live self-independent and (love and care about themselves) enough to purchase and perform rituals. It's funny it wasn't till RTRs back in 2014 with 42 N.o.G, that people en masse started to perform it everyday or at least a few times per week if they felt overwhelmed or burnt out.

And besides how am I disregarding Satan. For all intents and purposes the amount of times I bothered Satan growing up and spending time in school just talking and praying and whatnot is absurd. I'm actually surprised he didn't black magic me being annoying and disrespectful. I can just imagine him striking me down with a curse for all the years I've bothered him during my school days and after leaving high school and living in my house. Honestly I think the last time I even bothered to visualize Satan's sigil and talk to him about some problem is pretty much nearing two years ago and even then it feels wrong to bother him and I think the problem sounds delusional but in my mind it's correct.

So Rook your basically in your assessment much like the Ayylmao(Grey) meme in mars where a group of Greys hold a sign saying "Yankee Go home". Your basically stating Gear88 go to hell and stop being in this religion and organization because your a worthless piece of shit, untermensch that doesn't know anything and doesn't want to know anything and much like Shael said you speak with fearfulness and arrogance. So basically that makes you even worse and pathetic and on top of that your stating that your not even dedicated or anything your just a crazy, delusional piece of shit that is stuck in a loop and doesn't know how to fix or do anything right and much like when a yiddish word popped up in dictionary.com a few months back when I was studying an affirmation word and I read the word thinking it's some German word. If I had to state the word you'd call me a schilmazel(A bungling inept fool with unremitting bad luck).

So basically the clear and present message I'm receiving and your trying to state is Gear88 just drop it and find something else cause your a waste of internet bandwidth and a waste of Satanist/Nazi.

In other words you were wrong growing up, you were wrong finding the JoS, and you all these years nearing your 16th anniversary were wrong. In fact your entire weltanschaang and entire mental make up, perhaps even your mind, body, and soul are wrong. Much like how the Germans shouted Juden rausch, Juden rausch, Juden rausch, rausch, rausch. Your basically stating it for me Gear88 out, Gear88 out, Gear88 out, out, out.

 

[Fuchs]

Wait Fuchs 20 minutes to 40 minutes for a basic aura of protection. What are you talking about?. All I do is breathe in say 6 or 7 breaths, then hold my exhale, state in my mind the affirmation, then take a breath do that 3 times for 3 affirmations, then visualize my aura brighten up to increase the light. It takes less than two minutes. How can you spend 20 to 40 minutes protecting yourself if your not doing Runic or Sanskirt(Surya/Raum) protection. Hell even with the basic both white-gold and solar white-gold energies it barely reaches 4 minutes. On the 40-day guide it states aura of protection time period of less than a few minutes so a total of AC/AP/VM/Meditations at about less than 15 minutes.

I do something similar to this
https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=13421&p=52330&hilit=advanced+aop#p52330

I think you have much knowlege, but lack the practice. if you would have meditated 20% of the time you used to write in the forums, you would´t need to write 80% of the stuff you write/ask.

 

[Rook]

So Rook what your trying to state is that it is wrong for a person to join Spiritual Satanism

lmao do show where i'm trying to state that or did you dream this?
from the looks of it, the rest of your little sob story novel here is filled with BS and honestly i couldn't be assed to read it, it's ironic that you couldn't read a short sermon on how to fix ur shit, but you sure can write a lot for others to read,

and for some guy who states he has a lot of problems you sure got a lot of time to write these novels, perhaps you should be working on those problems, no?
after all, they're your problems not mines lol.

anyway, you're a waste of time for me, and my time has value so i'll just put it elsewhere, write me another novel, i could care less .

 

[Gearshift]

I think you have much knowlege, but lack the practice. if you would have meditated 20% of the time you used to write in the forums, you would´t need to write 80% of the stuff you write/ask.

It's funny I pretty much ran into both of VoiceofEnki's post before anyone posted anything back when she posted. I said interesting. But...

1. Later on like someone doubted that it came from Astarte saying how much is this from a being of higher power and how much is this from homebrewing. During the second thread she posted making improvements to it. Kinda reminds me of the whole Vovim Baughie situation creating Astarte's Elemental Aura of Protection. That he stated came from Astarte.

and

2. Quite a few people stated they spent too long with this meditation.

I'm not trying to doubt in fact I too used VoiceofEnki's and Lydia's affirmation the whole "I am at all times physically, mentally, and spiritually...etc.etc." and it was okay perhaps it helped perhaps not who knows. Lydia praised it for being a damn good affirmation. Did I modify it several times in fact I put it through three or four revisions before sticking to one I liked.

Alright Fuchs 20%, lack of practice. Yeah your absolutely right.

But here's the thing do you know how long I would spend hours thinking about meditations over the years. For all intents and purposes I could make myself sound like those Yogis and Rishis in India farting out new meditations with absolutely no concrete occult science behind it. For example I respect heavily no matter how corrupted they may be people who meditate especially people who do mindfulness and can tame the monkey mind. I respect those without who can astral/etheric project like one person on the Spanish(Enki) forums mentioning his pre-Satanic days reaching the area of beings of higher power and raising his sword at Astarte because she said she is a demon.

Madame17's post. https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=17679&p=74935#p74935. Could there be doubt in being a fake story just one post and whatnot in perfect Spanish. Sure but I felt compelled to reply wondering about astral projection despite encountering websites on Astral/Etheric projection what almost two decades ago 17-18-19 years ago. Kinda reminds me of a person that found the JoyofSatan because he astral projected encountered a Demoness and she told him to be open minded. After diving back down and researching he dedicated.

For example my favorite meditation which I always state should only be done perhaps MUCH later on. Is MerKaBa it literally takes about two minutes to perform it. When I first performed MerKaBa sometime in 2004 at 14, it drove me crazy. For example I had mental health incident from it on two separate occasions combined with spinning my chakras to the speed of light.

To this day I have no idea what MerKaBa and Advanced Chakra spinning did to me. In fact back then I did MerKaBa only for a few days before dropping and stopping the freak out I was occurring. I returned to MerKaBa YEARS later and even never bothered to affirm the energy. In fact the only reason why I'm on these forums today is because about two nearing 3 years ago I got sick and tired of not advancing and pretty much stuck to MerKaBa and chakra spinning to the speed of light. Did I do RTRs from time to time I mean yes I did hell I remember doing the final Curse/Bless Israel RTR with runic vibrations of Isa and Hagl towards Israel, the very last time HP Cobra even told us to perform RTR and runic blasts against them nearing 2016 give or take probably sometime in nearing late 2015.

It's funny MerKaBa everyone who's posted on it states it's a badass meditation. From former ProPHP, Yahoo, and Current A-Forums. And yet I never felt a damn thing.

Again it begs the question if simply closing your eyes performing the meditation does anything. I'm still in beta with light natural alpha state emission with eyes closed. But apparently not even the mighty MerKaBa can make me feel anything. Or if I'm simply playing in my own little world called imagination.

It's funny Fuchs you mention the 20-to-40 minute time period of protection. Lydia has mentioned about an hour of auras or protection for her. Well here is the thing at least from what I know we should spend roughly 40 days building this protection perhaps not 80 but 90, ten more days. After that it is permanently imbued in the soul.

Okay your done imbuing 40 maybe 90 days passed. And THEN what? It's the same thing with the 40 day guide or the 6 month guide. You do it and THEN WHAT?. For example some people pop in state they opened themselves up to the astral and interact with demons and they are helped kinda begs the question if they are. I remember a person on Abovetopsecrets(ATS) stating they did a similar meditation to the JoS one the Toe vibration they vibrate Toe on the third eye.

Funny enough he said by the third or fourth day he opened himself up to spiritual world so much. That upon going to his bed he noticed a tail on the bed. He touched it and out popped sparks and electricity on top of seeing other astral creatures. He freaked out and was like how do I turn this off. Funny thing is he reiterated what one astral projector on Reddit said don't mess with this stuff it's not meant for humans.

Again it all goes back to the factor that humans are woefully en masse unprepared for this stuff. I can already see if true that the Gods returning with a big ass headache. It's already been said by them some humans are so closed off spiritually the Gods can't help them not even if they use their most advanced spiritual practices on them like laying them on the Pyramid and pumping Orion energy into their Pineal gland and making them explode in spiritual Ecstasy. In fact aside from people delving too far into enemy stuff and people not feeding their souls. It gets to the point of why do the Gods even bother with this solar system. Back then about 200,000 years ago according to Aldric Strickland's assessment video 3 life giving planets Earth, Mars, and Phaeton wonderful not even a stone throws away from each other. But now this solar system has been shat on so viciously it begs the question why bother.

The fact that Maxine stated the Gods require perhaps a year to ten years to inform everyone and on top of that 150-200 years to stabilize the environment. And on top of that perhaps in my personal assessment another few centuries to clear the world. It really begs the question how much time are the Gods gonna spend helping this colloquially termed in sci-fi stories and movies "Backwoods planet".

lmao do show where i'm trying to state that or did you dream this?
from the looks of it, the rest of your little sob story novel here is filled with BS and honestly i couldn't be assed to read it, it's ironic that you couldn't read a short sermon on how to fix ur shit, but you sure can write a lot for others to read,

and for some guy who states he has a lot of problems you sure got a lot of time to write these novels, perhaps you should be working on those problems, no?
after all, they're your problems not mines lol.

anyway, you're a waste of time for me, and my time has value so i'll just put it elsewhere, write me another novel, i could care less .

Oh why thank you Rook for the message really appreciate never knew talking about issues was such an issue.

So someone who never talked about their problems even being told by people to talk about their problem and go to a psychologist or group therapy or find some friends or something. Is wrong?

That perhaps it's wrong. That's a problem a crime. So now when I do need help that I should just do like what I've been doing for the past 23-25 years swallow the problem down and move on and continue the repression, suppression, and depression. And just simply not bother anyone because no one is gonna help you, you can't help yourself, and on top of that your just a burden on everyone's lives.

Okay Rook like Hank Hill said "No YOU DA man". Thank you very much.

 

[Taol]

...

Actually.. I think getting a chart reading may actually benefit you..

There was something I hadn't said but.. I was wondering about something that bothered me and I asked a fellow SS about it and she asked if I had done anything catharic about it yet and if not she suggested to do so in a ritual to Satan, asking for help in overcoming any issues..
I thought I may as well add that here in case you need to do the same.

I don't have any form of electronic capacity to pay for that nor do I want to. Cause I think it's just a waste of money. Not that I don't believe in astrology just what's it gonna tell me that I already wasted well over a decade nearing two decade not enjoying my life.

Yeah sure I get a reading Cobra is unavailable but Lydia is. Okay sure wonderful but how do I know it's right. There is literally thousands of astrologers with different things. I mean it's not that I'm trying to be a disrespectful asshole it's just at what point do we know it's the supposed King of Kings astrological chart. I mean we don't have beings of higher power and books from other worlds deciding the situation with astrology. We have basically the kaballah of people learning things either from rumors, hidden books, or destroyed or semi-destroyed works. Basically like anything really we had to research and process stuff. Funny enough it's a spiritual thing that has been HEAVILY corrupted and destroyed to the point it's coveted by the Jews like in Spain back before the expulsion reading Chaldean books on spiritual stuff much like astrology.

K you know what. How are you even getting your paycheck if you're not having a bank account? Its easy nowadays to get such a thing too. its called PayPal.

I think at this point you're just trying to make excuses. Yes your life sucks we get it. But you're not serious about this either. You've been here longer than me by your own wording. Can you then really be whining about all your problems and that your life sucks and what not?
Many people have tried to be kind to you and help you. But at this point you are the one that needs to pull his head out of his arse and get to work.
You can bind people that harm you. Detach from the ones you don't want to see back. Free your soul from your flippin Saturn influences and other bad stuff that may be expressed in your natal chart.

I know that whatever I am saying now is not nice, but you're either going to do this or you're wasting our time.

Right now if you were to ask me you're not even half-assing things, you're doing worse than that. Get Serious.

As for Lydia and Hp HC666 they're acknowledged astrologers, but you made it sound like anyone else would do the same perfect job even if its just a flippin computer generated reply that costs you 500 dollar to even get in the first place.

That said, I am done posting on this thread here too.

What you do from here, is up to you.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

from the looks of it, the rest of your little sob story novel here is filled with BS and honestly i couldn't be assed to read it, it's ironic that you couldn't read a short sermon on how to fix ur shit, but you sure can write a lot for others to read,

You aren't missing much it's really disgusting. An extremely manic, broken, confused, insane mess of screaming with a lot of "ARE YOU, ROOK, SAYING THAT I'M TOO FUCKED UP TO BE HERE AND I SHOULD LEAVE? ARE YOU SAYING GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU ARE TOO INSANE AND BROKEN TO BE HERE? WELL LOOK HERE, ROOK, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW INSANE AND FUCKED UP I AM DOES THIS MEAN, ROOK, THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HERE, ROOK?"

...

I don't think I ever said this about anyone, but yeah looks like you shouldn't be here. All Satanist souls are connected together, we don't need incurable broken poison shit dragging down the rest of the Satanist collective soul. Around 20 years of being a "dedicated Satanist" and this is what you are? Never bothering to grow or improve in any way in any of that time, constantly poisoning and breaking yourself down worse with your maniacally broken mindset. Some people just can't be fixed and some of them don't even want to be fixed. If you have never had any intention of trying to grow or improve in any way then why are you even here? Because the rest of the family doesn't need to be dragged down by it. You have done probably the most disrespectful thing possible without even realizing it, you have connected yourself into the soul of Satan and all of Satan's family, and have done NOTHING OF ANY WORTH to be any kind of benefit or positive influence, nothing but a disgusting burden. You dedicated to Satan and expect him to carry you as you sit there shitting your pants (metaphorically, at least I hope) and screaming. So honestly why are you here? You don't even want to be here. Satan is disgusted by you how you currently are and wants nothing to do with you. If you're here only as a burden to the rest of the shared soul, not unlike a spiritual cancer, then why are you here?

I've seen people like you turn themselves around and eventually get on track to grow into good people and good souls who are on the path of success. But only because they actually wanted to succeed and grow and they were ready to work hard for it. I've also seen people like you who have continued to just be broken shit who have withered away down to nothing and disappeared. You can pick which of these paths you want to be on, but if you want to choose the first one you have to work hard for it. And with around 20 years of doing absolutely nothing but shitting into your own head with a self destructive mindset it doesn't look like you even want to try. Satanism is a difficult path but it's a path for the strong. And if you're too weak to do it, then good riddance fuck off we don't need you dragging us down anyway. Or you can prove me wrong by actually working to finally be something other than a burden and finally make your soul into a benefit to the rest of the family. Because currently Satan doesn't care about you or like you at all how you are. You have to earn it by creating your own self worth by fixing yourself.

 

[Gearshift]

Okay guys. Thank you! for the positive feed back.

I guess in the end I was right all along that perhaps all those 16 years ago I should have never done this entire dedication or anything. I guess in the end it just created problems. Same thing with my friend I was concerned about telling him I've emailed him over the years 4 times that I feel responsible for his life not going well due to the dedication. He always states I never did wrong just simply shit happens.

For those of you who wish for me to fix my problems. I never wanted to fix my problems because I never knew what problems I had. I never knew being a person with problems who never bothered another person even when I have spoken limited times about my problems it's always very hidden and limited to express myself. I usually get into the situation where I tell the person "See this is why I don't speak to anyone nor bother anyone with my problems".

The path that I choose is not to have problems. I don't understand why I would want problems never even as kid did I ever intend to want nor desire problems. So how is that I have problems.

Your absolutely right Ol Argedco Luciftan I never wanted to fix my problems. Because like I said what problems. If I do have problems a million problems come out. It's why I got interested in meditation and magic perhaps it could solve something.

You guys state the bad guy, the loser, the anchor. I state no idea what you mean.

This precisely why I never even bothered joining the forums ever. Even in the old ProPhP forums it was only 8 months before closure that I felt like joining and even then after deliberating for two weeks I didn't even bother. Every time I post something problem it's like sure I might not have practical experience but logically I can assume things or understand information I've stored in my mind. I guess I just learned the lesson that people do not want my information. That at least someone who can help others but not help themselves is a crime.

So again Thanks guys.

 

[Hp. Hoodedcobra666]

People don't want to hear 80 pages long spiels and incoherence, really evil of them, and of course, it's their fault you can't put your brain within context.

Nobody has to pay for the sins of your own eternal mind looping, and people do not have to sucker in your weaknesses and doubts disguised as "Questions" which last literally eternally, and repeat themselves in endless logical loops, which you have no desire to even fix. This is called being a blockhead. Being a blockhead harms you but it doesn't have to harm others, nor they have to like it.

People tried to help you, but you do not help yourself.

Lastly, for our own 'questions' and our own 'comments' that have no end, there is a thing called a diary. This is a forum for conversation, not a diary. You can write your personal issues that are unsolvable or eternal loops in said diary if you need to express them. Normally, these fry people who do not think in said loops and the reactions on this thread are totally normal and to be expected.

 

[Brdredr]

People don't want to hear 80 pages long spiels and incoherence, really evil of them, and of course, it's their fault you can't put your brain within context.

Nobody has to pay for the sins of your own eternal mind looping, and people do not have to sucker in your weaknesses and doubts disguised as "Questions" which last literally eternally, and repeat themselves in endless logical loops, which you have no desire to even fix. This is called being a blockhead. Being a blockhead harms you but it doesn't have to harm others, nor they have to like it.

>This is called being a blockhead.

Do I get to call him "Charlie Brown" now?

 

[Rook]

from the looks of it, the rest of your little sob story novel here is filled with BS and honestly i couldn't be assed to read it, it's ironic that you couldn't read a short sermon on how to fix ur shit, but you sure can write a lot for others to read,

You aren't missing much it's really disgusting. An extremely manic, broken, confused, insane mess of screaming with a lot of "ARE YOU, ROOK, SAYING THAT I'M TOO FUCKED UP TO BE HERE AND I SHOULD LEAVE? ARE YOU SAYING GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU ARE TOO INSANE AND BROKEN TO BE HERE? WELL LOOK HERE, ROOK, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW INSANE AND FUCKED UP I AM DOES THIS MEAN, ROOK, THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HERE, ROOK?"

lmao :lol:

 

[Gearshift]

People don't want to hear 80 pages long spiels and incoherence, really evil of them, and of course, it's their fault you can't put your brain within context.

Nobody has to pay for the sins of your own eternal mind looping, and people do not have to sucker in your weaknesses and doubts disguised as "Questions" which last literally eternally, and repeat themselves in endless logical loops, which you have no desire to even fix. This is called being a blockhead. Being a blockhead harms you but it doesn't have to harm others, nor they have to like it.

People tried to help you, but you do not help yourself.

Lastly, for our own 'questions' and our own 'comments' that have no end, there is a thing called a diary. This is a forum for conversation, not a diary. You can write your personal issues that are unsolvable or eternal loops in said diary if you need to express them. Normally, these fry people who do not think in said loops and the reactions on this thread are totally normal and to be expected.

No idea why the word blockhead would be used towards me usually it sounds like an association some sort of stereotypical jock mentality someone who doesn't use their brain a lot, in fact the definition of it is simply a stupid person. This is how I am normally I mean if you think what I wrote is some spiel you should see some of the emails me and my friend would type up. We pretty much would clock in at about 30-to-an hour to type it up and to read it I mean pretty much at least 10 minutes reading just a quarter of it, I mean some emails would take like 20 minutes just to read. And 30-to-an Hour combined with research and copy pasting website information and teaching things to my friend. In some cases I'd take an extra hour on top of that. And that is multiple emails a day sometimes 4 or 5 long ones per day going back and forth.

No idea how or why it can fry a person. Kinda strange I guess a lot people here aren't exposed to the internet; strange begs the question how they even found the JoS and don't perform in-depth questioning like I do. You should see some of the posts I would put on tech sites dealing anywhere from mechanical keyboards, solid state drives, CRT vs LCD and just nearly in recent times high refresh rate LCDs, as well as mice and mousepads. Kinda funny you should see some of the research and information I cross-forum-posted about mice DPI and mice technologies and as well as Mousepads.

Anyways, before changing your message turning into ganged mentality of "Let me throw my gasoline in the fire". You changed your post.

Overthinking the Succubus thing. In your previous iteration of your forum post before you changed or deleted your prior response

About a month ago I visualized Satan's sigil asked him to send my succubus in case it's an enemy. Well I heard the same hello and whatnot and then after chatting a bit to the best of my capacity. I felt something touch my heart. I said so I guess this is what you did back in 2012. She replied Yes you remember. I told her so you can kill me. She replies If it were that easy we'd just kill anyone who was against us it doesn't work that way even the enemy knows this. I then started feeling happy I asked her if she is causing that she said Yes. So I said can you make me happier then I felt myself become happier even feeling like my heart was expanding and on top of that I smiled which is strange cause I don't smile much it happened against my will.

So if I'm overthinking it why was I told either mental illness, enemy, or natural openness. How can I alone cause some sort of spiritual orgasm to occur from me when only I contact this entity does it. I'm not some self-tantra master that can generate an orgasm out of pure mental will and spiritual prowess.

How then do you explain this entity. I've even visualize electric blue flames and vibrated Vinasa at least 9 times, in one case I did it much more then vibrated the name backwards (Diana)/(Anaid), then You are no more. The voice replies she I'm still here.

In fact at one point in time I simply decided to find my old folder and perform the original banishing ritual found on the JoS before the 2008-2009 redux. I pulled out the sigils of Flauros and Orobas, performed the 4-crowns Standard in my own limited way, then burnt a paper requesting a banishing at my house with the old banish ritual demons. Still nothing she just said See nothing they are around. I said are they mad at me for doing the old ritual. Then I heard hmm no.

So then what is this?

Only reason I posted this was because of Catacalin94 thread dealing with his own entity or possible mind problems.

I always said to myself never post on the forums it's completely stupid eventually you'll find your answer. The underlying problem is it rarely if ever happened and even then out pop more questions. So I guess the moral of the story is posting on the forums is something a blockhead, like you said, posts because they have questions and questions are wrong. Or in my case convoluted because it's wrong to explain myself better.

 

[HPS Lydia]

from the looks of it, the rest of your little sob story novel here is filled with BS and honestly i couldn't be assed to read it, it's ironic that you couldn't read a short sermon on how to fix ur shit, but you sure can write a lot for others to read,

You aren't missing much it's really disgusting. An extremely manic, broken, confused, insane mess of screaming with a lot of "ARE YOU, ROOK, SAYING THAT I'M TOO FUCKED UP TO BE HERE AND I SHOULD LEAVE? ARE YOU SAYING GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU ARE TOO INSANE AND BROKEN TO BE HERE? WELL LOOK HERE, ROOK, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW INSANE AND FUCKED UP I AM DOES THIS MEAN, ROOK, THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HERE, ROOK?"

lmao :lol:

I was thinking the exact same thing Rook wrote, and also got a laugh at Ol argedco luciftias's reply :lol:

This guy Gear is on heavy medication did he say? For schizophrenia? And hates music and exercise... I only skimmed a few posts. Gear, you need to do daily affirmations to change your mindset, life is meant to be enjoyed, or at least have something enjoyable in it. A person who dislikes music is an empty shell of a person. It's going to take you a while, so less essays and more meditation.

 

[Egon]

IMO he doesn't sound like a delusional person (at least he had enough enough self-awareness to question it), he just seem like a super anxious overreactive person who needs to chill out.

You aren't missing much it's really disgusting. An extremely manic, broken, confused, insane mess of screaming with a lot of "ARE YOU, ROOK, SAYING THAT I'M TOO FUCKED UP TO BE HERE AND I SHOULD LEAVE? ARE YOU SAYING GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU ARE TOO INSANE AND BROKEN TO BE HERE? WELL LOOK HERE, ROOK, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW INSANE AND FUCKED UP I AM DOES THIS MEAN, ROOK, THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HERE, ROOK?"

lmao :lol:

I was thinking the exact same thing Rook wrote, and also got a laugh at Ol argedco luciftias's reply :lol:

This guy Gear is on heavy medication did he say? For schizophrenia? And hates music and exercise... I only skimmed a few posts. Gear, you need to do daily affirmations to change your mindset, life is meant to be enjoyed, or at least have something enjoyable in it. A person who dislikes music is an empty shell of a person. It's going to take you a while, so less essays and more meditation.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

...

I think Gear88 actually has a good point about a lot of "music" that is horrible, and unfortunately he just hasn't found the good music yet. Most of the "modern music" like almost everything they play on the radio is 100% fake and discusting. Made by a computer algorithm by some big company, all the songs sound absolutely identical and robotic, lyrics from some insane reptile mind trying to act human (the music producer/writer). All the stuff on the radio is like this, mass-produced goyim shit full of subliminals made to brainwash and you can just feel when listening that it's not healthy. Like that grey plastic "cheese" in a can that they fill with orange dye so it doesn't look so disgusting, basically the audio version of that.

And a lot of classical music is bad too. I think Gear88 said something like a lot of classical music just makes him anxious, I agree with that I felt it too. A lot of the classical music was sponsored by the rich people (many of them not exactly human) who specifically requested to throw away the entire history of Musical Science and just make up whatever random shit that's new and conpletely different. So there's a very unnatural feeling to a lot of it, there aren't exactly natural patterns or rhythms, things don't exactly connect through the song in any logical or natural way. Basically just a mess of random disjointed sounds. So it is a very anxious thing to listen to, or for a more angry person it could easily be an angry thing to listen to.

You just have to find the good real music that comes from a gentile soul. Something you can connect to in a real way, based on the natural subconscious sound patterns of the universe. Not some alien reptile nonsense. Real music is getting hard to find if you aren't looking for it, they don't promote it because it doesn't make them any shekels or brainwash any goys. But there is real music in the world still just have to find it.

 

[Gearshift]

This guy Gear is on heavy medication did he say? For schizophrenia? And hates music and exercise... I only skimmed a few posts. Gear, you need to do daily affirmations to change your mindset, life is meant to be enjoyed, or at least have something enjoyable in it. A person who dislikes music is an empty shell of a person. It's going to take you a while, so less essays and more meditation.

That's funny Lydia, heavy medication when did I say heavy medication. I only take 5MG of Fluphenazine and 2mg of Benztropine, other than that never had another schizophrenic-psychotic fugue-state breakdown only achieved 4 of them. It's funny you make me sound like a crazy person. Okay I have my craziness so what pretty much everyone does. Our Moon, our astrological chart, our lives it adds up. As an astrologer you should realize the planets induce certain aspects to such nature like say the Moon or Neptune.

It's funny you state my hatred of music. Yes I hate music so what? never bothered with it growing up. I was never the pre-teen/teenager to get into music, it's a waste of time and a waste money searching and buying things. Either way I'm not an outdoorsy person never felt like JUST going to the mall and searching for music. In fact I never even care much to do what others did.

The only music I listen to or bands I should say is a few songs from White Zombie/Rob Zombie, a few slipknot songs, Spin me right round(from the Quake 3 Spin video best version of D.O.A. spin me), some Billy Idol, a few 1980s metal band songs, some classic rock IF I feel like turning on the radio, some songs from Pantera. Pretty much I MAY listen to something as long as it's not craprock scream bullshit and they play well and sound okay. Other than that music has no place in my life. Never liked it, it's my decision not sure why I MUST like music. Lydia you kinda sound like you MUST like music or ELSE.

I pretty much spent 45 minutes typing up an email sometime in 2017 or 2018 to my friend about the music I like with individual songs and stating bands. And it got to the point he stated the type of music you like is, mainstream music, it's not a bad thing you simply like what others en masse may like but you have specific taste to certain things, which differ from others mainstream taste.

As for exercise well so what I don't like exercise. It's completely overwhelming finding a basic routine there's just so much basic stuff. Spending time warming up, performing exercises, performing cool down, showering, changing clothes etc.etc. it gets old real fast. I mean hell I remember back in 5th grade portables when I looked to my right, looked to my left, looked straight and said to myself in my mind "I need a new body". Even as a kid I felt like I needed a new body. Even now I feel like I need a new body. I don't like exercising nor do it, so what? That's also another Lydia special of you MUST like exercise or ELSE.

See Lydia since your making me sound like a crazy person people are gonna think I'm crazy like your medication joke. It's funny a nearly 16 year old veteran who not only dedicated not even two weeks into finding the JoS back in April of 2003 and spent their entire time contemplating and researching stuff is being told I'm wrong that no Gear88 your crazy. Never knew liking Satanism and Nazism is deemed crazy. For example I have a real desire to learn in depth the National Socialist economic system have I delved into it sure a bit but it's never enough and for many people they wish to learn about it to improve the fore-bearer of mankind, the economy which is something MANY people wish to fix. Perhaps that'll attract more people, some people just aren't interested in the spirituality/religion if they are it's simply to understand what true Nazism is. Like if they discover it's Satanism and research it they just state okay well it's better than that damnable Bible Judeo-bolshevism or better than the so-called Aryan Christos myth pumped by Neo-Nazis or Judeo-Bolshevik enclave Nazis.

Not everyone is capable of being in spirituality-religion some people just want physical force. Spiritual warfare is nice and all and having pools of spiritual rituals in the air and beings of higher power pushing and pulling the wheel is nice. But remember like Cobra said there are over 350 million Jews around the world and growing, look at how they run it, on top of nearly 9 billion other idiots living a life of YOLO. Kabalistic support is nice and all I'm sure the occult centers in Germany however hidden aided a lot, I'm sure whatever mass rituals they did helped. But remember there were people PHYSICALLY present fighting for whatever bits of freedom where available to help the future. Not to deny spiritual warfare or RTRs or anything since I do them. But it gets to the point were a physical presence is needed. Some just wish to be physical and not just spiritual purely. And yes I know your gonna state the Exit the Jewtrix video and the sermon from a while back, Exit the Jewtrix: Menachem Scheerson's Kaballah support with the story of reading the Torah. And also the sermon of the 10 Rishis using spiritual warfare and weapons to pre-destroy the 10 nation army from destroying the one nation they were against. In other words in both cases they were defeated before defeat came due to losing the spiritual imprint force. Much like how the enemy gained a foothold in the past due to the vast psychic field they employed to ruse us into our own defeat. ASIDE from physical rain of nuclear and plasma-thermal strikes upon our most spiritual of places.

 

[Fuchs]

....

How about this suggestion you post here your daily chedule. (no big ass text )

and everyday you did your meditation you write what did go good or bad but you do them regardles what ever. :idea:

I will personal look every day if you did.

Besides this remember, only if you raise your kundalini in this lifetime you will take your memories to the next life, without all your reading was in vain.

aside from helping others with information in the forums. I did see that you did help some people good. So the 16 years were not completly wasted.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

only if you raise your kundalini in this lifetime you will take your memories to the next life, without all your reading was in vain.

This isn't really true. I've never raised my kundalini before but I still have very clear memories from my "past lives". Especially the one right before this one, I remember the whole continuation from that lifetime, through when I died and what it felt like, through when I was in Duat for a while, and talking with the gods in planning this next (now current) lifetime, then my soul being sent here back to earth in this body. When I was a young child I didn't remember but the memories all came back as I grew up. I remembered all this vividly during my childhood before I learned anything about Satanism. So he can still remember a lot of things from now in the next generation. And if he doesn't directly remember, it would still be much easier to learn next time when he already learned it before.

 

[HPS Lydia]

@Gear- I made the briefest of comments, and you replied with a long essay again. I've noticed you doing this quite a lot, thinking something is more than what it actually is. Your focus is off/askew, or perhaps your elemental balance (no air perhaps, or too much earth?).

It's like you can't just observe and take only what matters. I only skimmed your reply, as there is no need to get too deep into anything here. I'm trying to give constructive criticism so you can fix this.

I did not make a "medication joke", I was mentioning it as people on medications for mental illness tend to get a bit "empty shell" and have no passions (dislike of music and exercise, etc). This is a fact, which is why I mentioned what I did. I did not realize I had to thoroughly explain it to you though, and I'm surprised you thought it was some sort of "joke"....

I won't be checking back as I don't have much time for the forums.

 

[Gearshift]

@Gear- I made the briefest of comments, and you replied with a long essay again. I've noticed you doing this quite a lot, thinking something is more than what it actually is. Your focus is off/askew, or perhaps your elemental balance (no air perhaps, or too much earth?).

It's like you can't just observe and take only what matters. I only skimmed your reply, as there is no need to get too deep into anything here. I'm trying to give constructive criticism so you can fix this.

I did not make a "medication joke", I was mentioning it as people on medications for mental illness tend to get a bit "empty shell" and have no passions (dislike of music and exercise, etc). This is a fact, which is why I mentioned what I did. I did not realize I had to thoroughly explain it to you though, and I'm surprised you thought it was some sort of "joke"....

I won't be checking back as I don't have much time for the forums.

Hmm without stating anything on my astrological chart I mentioned to Darkmoney666 my elemental percentage.

(Not sure how much I should trust this site with elemental percentage but it sounds okay)

@ Darkmonkey666 I don't think Fire mantras are a good idea though not to disrespect. Funny enough my fire is my dominant element. Without revealing specific information these are my elements: Fire: 31.9%, Water: 25.6%, Earth: 24.8%, and Air: 17.7% according to the elemental calculator this is what my chart is made up of. A while back I did do some Akausha(Akashic) vibrations the affirmation was a bit long but if I had to come up with one it would be All of my elements are completely and eternally balanced and empowered in the most happiest, beneficial, and best way for me. That way the elements are both balanced and on top of that empowered. Not sure if past tense can be added to affirmations perhaps balancing and empowering would be most appropriate in present tense.

I'm sure some might state to keep it at "balanced or balancing" don't focus the affirmation on empowering as well.

Could have added healthiest I guess Argedco might state do it cause the elements have their prominent nature with the soundness of mind, body, and soul in question when interacting with your body. Happiest, beneficial, and best may stem the tide a bit but healthiest would make it work more softly on your self ensuring a healthy effect.

Funny enough I do remember years ago breathing in 7 breaths of the elements and holding them writing down in a paper. Did in particular one time Air and I was driving like a maniac don't worry no accident. So I'd really not like to repeat anything with the elements. In fact I felt fired up rather than nervous or anything. I guess the nervous effect produced a fire like response in me. And yes if your wondering I didn't use affirmations so bad of me in making the energy delve negatively.

If akasha helps I'd be nice to know how many breaths I should do besides baseline 11 at Akasha page? And on top of that if I should vibrate Akasha or Akausha vibrations to further pump the akashic energy?

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

I recommend Akasha or Akashaum. It turns into whatever element is needed so it fills you with all 5 of the elements in a healthy balanced safe way. Start with 11 then wait 24 hours then you can do a bigger number. Working with elements can be harder because there's a big chance you won't feel it when you're doing the mantras for them, and then every bit you did all hits you all at once hours later. But with Akasha it's not really uncomfortable like the other elements could easily be.

 

[Gearshift]

I recommend Akasha or Akashaum. It turns into whatever element is needed so it fills you with all 5 of the elements in a healthy balanced safe way. Start with 11 then wait 24 hours then you can do a bigger number. Working with elements can be harder because there's a big chance you won't feel it when you're doing the mantras for them, and then every bit you did all hits you all at once hours later. But with Akasha it's not really uncomfortable like the other elements could easily be.

Akashaum? that is a new one to me. I thought it was simply Akasha or Akausha. I suppose you did some research of Frawley's work, correct?

Mind describing what the end aum does in this case? Surely it's not as simple as stating Ether(Akash)/Gold in the works(Au)/Binding point the soul(M). If I'm not mistaken on my definition of Sanskrit properties.

BTW Argedco and others I'll restart my meditations, RTR, and protection on the 18th luckily the Esbat is Vocless and on top of that the final waxing date before Pink Moon. So hopefully the returning curses gets a boost like it states best on waxing moon phases.

I may consider retrying the 40-day guide chakra section some other time I hate to ignore the Chakras but at least SOME meditation is being done by me. I'll focus on Cleaning/Protection/Void/Spin/Yogic/Alternate Nostril/Hatha/K-yoga and stick to some Akashic from you guys.

Finally one last subject Argedco is it okay to pump a affirmation on these akashic vibrations or is akasha a self-directing affirmationless energy. I guess to simplify it does it stick to the soul and work on it's own without help.

1. I ask because you mention balancing effect but wouldn't an affirmation help as well? And if so just to be clear in past tense balanced or present tense balancing?

2. Would you care to rapport if adding healthiest to the affirmation dealing with Akasha would be best? or my affirmation below is fine?

(All of my elements are completely and eternally balanced/balancing and empowered/empowering in the most happiest, beneficial, and best way for me. Healthiest? Yay or nay?)

3. And my last question is should I try adding empowered/empowering to the affirmation? Or should it be stricken and simply left to balance?

I suppose it couldn't hurt to fortify but I can see why it would be bad to a degree.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

...

Gear88 I'm sorry for some of the things I said to you I think some of it went too far. The enemy loves to try to curse people here to make them fight, and I think it was one of their holidays recently where they tried to make a big curse. I'm pretty sure the only times I was ever in a fight with anyone here is during enemy holidays, then a few days later I go back to normal. And I'm also not used to Aries Sun energy like the sun square I'm doing and I don't think I like it but I think it will make the Sun in my soul stronger then when it gets back to Leo or Virgo I can change the energy back to how I like it. I'm happy to see you are on the right track now.

I just sometimes add Aum to the end of Akasha to make Akashaum, I don't think frawley ever mentioned it. The Aum at the end makes a further focusing into myself. Like reflecting the energy more inward and upward.

I never heard of Akausha but it just doesn't look right to me. Kind of looks like the k*ke word yehoshua. Based on what I know about Bija/seed mantras, it looks like they put the Au in the wrong spot. Seed mantras are kind of like legos you can stick all different blocks together to make a bigger one, but Akausha looks wrong. They changed the word in the middle of the word which created a completely different word that looks like it isn't Akasha anymore. When if you add a little part onto the end to direct the focus of the energy, it isn't changing the root of the word. It's like how you can add prefixes and suffixes to words to add extra direction. Like you can run somewhere, or you can be running right now. But if you try to say runingn or rningun or something like that it doesn't make any sense anymore because you completely change the root of the word.

I think it's always good to do an affirmation but it doesn't need to be complicated. If the affirmation is too long or complicated it scatters the energy and doesn't work as good. I don't think you need to add healthiest with this one because Akasha is already a healthy thing, but you could if you want to make your body healthier. You could say empowers but then what specifically is it empowering? You have to be specific if you're going to say something like that.