I just want to introduce myself, specifically, where I'm at spiritually. Here's my last 10 years in brief:
Age 21 I took drugs that I believe made me see what I months later figured was heaven or the spirit realm, studied some occult stuff, a meditation technique blew my mind and i decided to become homeless to find this non-physical plane of bliss. Mostly stayed in an abandoned chapel, also and with random strangers who came across me on my journeys. Gave away most of what I had and spent thousands on spiritual + religious books. Even went to UCT to study religion and Philosophy there for a term but didn't feel it was gona help much. Went thro a very 'crazy' couple of years (tho I felt sane for the first time in my life). I saw many, many correlations between the religions of the world + their holy books, but soooo much non-sense as well esp regarding stupid random rituals + boring pointless traditions + random morals to appease God/the Gods, and much confusion + contradiction it their theologies. Even spiritual books were so hazy + up in the clouds and just didn't satisfy my sense of what I was looking for. I stayed with a mentally + physically handicapped guy for sum years and stagnated quite a bit. Then became atheist (felt alive + happy like never before, lost all my puppy fat), fell in love with a guy on the internet in Durban who had some clear commitment issues tho (don't blame him I guess I did come accross as a bit nutty). He broke my heart so many times that in pain I ended up running back to the arms of religion (the church specifically, my native religion). Eventually married his friend who I thought was hot and had a couple christian t-shirts so I thought we'd live happy ever after in christian bliss. Turns out he was only into christ for a short time in the past and now just "believes in Jesus" but doesn't talk about nor apparently think about his beliefs ever. He happens to be a brilliant husband and dad to our little one year old but has quite a disgust in my obsession with spiritual truth. I realized about 6 months back that christianity seems at the end of the day actually pretty spiritually dead, live had become empty + borring as "hell"
, and that the answers I sought with so much sacrifice in the past are NOT to be found there. I prayed for guidance/inspiration. Felt a desire to read up on how + why the religions of the world r so messed up. This was helping but didn't know where this was leading. I considered becoming atheist again but just couldn't, its a joyfully free way to go but there's a definite sense of pointlessness and meaninglessness to life in it. In atheism, spirit, anything u cannot perceive with ur 5 senses, is not real. Ur left pretty helpless + hopeless in the face of reality believing death is the end and life is just trying to fit as much happiness as u can into it before u die and its all over forever. So atheism just wasn't gona work either. I figured, as much as its against everything iv been taught, pretty much always, I wanted to start investigating Satanism. Since Jesus' name of supposed truth in fact comes with so much corruption and rubbish and hypocricy and lies and arrogance and contradiction and all round bull shit, perhaps Satan's name, that's supposed to represent Lies, in fact brings truth and sanity and sense and meaning and fulfillment in this upside down messed up world. And indeed so far iv learned SO much and am still learning every day esp from websites like joyofsatan.com There does seem to be, however, some nonsense out there, like LeVeyan Satanism who don't even believe Satan is an actual being. What u must google apparently is "spiritual satanism" to avoid the philosophical, opinionated man made stuff out there.
Well I havnt made my contract with Satan (yet?) but the more I learn about true Satanism the less uncertain I become. Being able to write with other Satanists I think will help a lot so this email group seems like a great idea to me. Thanks everyone
I'd like to say Hail Satan but it still seems a bit strange to me. Guess it just takes time, + enlightenment of course, right?Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!
From: "Light Yagami tapapakiastinseira@... [JoyofSatan666]" <
[email protected] Sender: [email protected] Date: Tue, 9 Dec 2014 22:27:00 +0000 (UTC)
To: [email protected]<
[email protected]ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: Σχετ: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Coming Trouble?
Hey @antonia, yes we saw your message.
Στις 3:56 μ.μ. Τρίτη, 9 Δεκεμβρίου 2014, ο/η "antoniaekuhn@... [JoyofSatan666]" <
[email protected] έγραψε:
Hi, I'm new to email groups, not sure how it works, if I send this email out and people reply will it all appear in my inbox as emails? Thanks
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!<hr>
From: "magnum.arcanum@... [JoyofSatan666]" <
[email protected] Sender: [email protected] Date: 08 Dec 2014 16:40:37 -0800
To: <
[email protected]ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Coming Trouble?
I think "Light Yagami" is right. Enemy attacks. Most of the psychics I met that "are without", are also "with" enemy manipulators that limit there potential. Come to think of it - all of them I've met are like that. I probably know about 6 psychics, 3 witches, etc... So, ya, there just feeling the fear of the enemy in my opinion. I know the enemy is scared shitless of Satan.