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Come home after work, bored...

Bravera

Active member
Joined
Oct 2, 2017
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692
I have always had these wild dreams and goals. And during the day I'm busy chipping away towards those goals.

But then I come home at night, every night, I become depressed, bored, annoyed.

I realize, maybe I'm just not being creative enough. I'm not truly sure where my career is headed. I thought I knew my purpose, and I kinda do, but shouldn't I be more motivated and excited if it was TRUE!

I should be content with having a place I can just sit and meditate. But damn I don't wanna sit down in my room.. i end up asleep in my bed instead of meditating.

I'm so much more excited and focused on my future than the present.
 
Yeah I feel that way sometimes. I don't have the privacy I need to meditate without having overbearing jesus freaks questioning what I'm doing so I manage to squeeze out some aura of protection at work at my desk when it's slow. As for career, idk what I even want anymore realistically in today's economy. Low key I would love nothing more to be part of a coven full time in some remote castle or something just full throttle in magickal workings and meditation.. unfortunately we are behind enemy lines.. this is our struggle but perhaps just us being here doing what we can, learning what we can, being the resistance is the point of this life right now..
 
Yeah I feel that way sometimes. I don't have the privacy I need to meditate without having overbearing jesus freaks questioning what I'm doing so I manage to squeeze out some aura of protection at work at my desk when it's slow. As for career, idk what I even want anymore realistically in today's economy. Low key I would love nothing more to be part of a coven full time in some remote castle or something just full throttle in magickal workings and meditation.. unfortunately we are behind enemy lines.. this is our struggle but perhaps just us being here doing what we can, learning what we can, being the resistance is the point of this life right now..
I noticed that at the beginning of the journey we remain a little connected to the desire to want to go out often with friends, to have fun, to laziness even though we have been different from others since birth. The more one goes on with meditation and the soul develops, the wrong behaviors deriving from the old life are corrected, above all thanks to the cleansing of the soul.

I advise you as soon as you can to start sending back curses which is something exceptional, within a short time by removing the dirt you will notice a huge change in you, also regarding feeling depressed, and above all you will have an increasingly clearer vision regarding the future. It is a great honor to be Satanists, we are literally masters among slaves, being the resistance is hard now.

I also often dream of the world cleansed of the enemy once and for all, and it seems impossible, where people live according to the highest values of life taught by our great Gods, where we respect ourselves, and all the behaviors of the degenerate human soul have disappeared forever, giving space to creation, art, meditation and self-development without having to be looked down upon by society out of guilt of lies instilled in people from birth.

Almost all of us started from a point where it seemed impossible to be able to meditate peacefully and do our own thing, but there are various ways to hide in "restrictive" circumstances, little by little you will see that the situation around you will improve and in the end it will only depend on you be constant in meditation.

It's really worth it, don't be discouraged brother, it's hard but while you're here it's a huge blessing, if you don't realize it now you will realize it later.
 
Maybe consider learning how to astral project. We often hear about reasons why one should wait to do so, warnings and so on, but there are many benefits to it. Getting rid of boredom is surely one of them. When this world feels boring and depressing, your soul can leave it temporairly and have an amazing experience in other ones...
I'm so much more excited and focused on my future than the present.
There is gratification in the process of getting there as well. Make your best efforts to create an enjoyable and balanced routine.
 
I have always had these wild dreams and goals. And during the day I'm busy chipping away towards those goals.

But then I come home at night, every night, I become depressed, bored, annoyed.

I realize, maybe I'm just not being creative enough. I'm not truly sure where my career is headed. I thought I knew my purpose, and I kinda do, but shouldn't I be more motivated and excited if it was TRUE!

I should be content with having a place I can just sit and meditate. But damn I don't wanna sit down in my room.. i end up asleep in my bed instead of meditating.

I'm so much more excited and focused on my future than the present.
Sounds like you are missing a basic need of yours, that does not make you feel whole.

Maybe you are not spending time with people enough?
How about, after work, you don't go home, but you meet up with a couple friends?

And when you get home, make sure you still have a good time to calm down and then meditate.

People are Social, and not receiving socials connections on certain levels of depth, can lead to depressions.
 
I have always had these wild dreams and goals. And during the day I'm busy chipping away towards those goals.

But then I come home at night, every night, I become depressed, bored, annoyed.

I realize, maybe I'm just not being creative enough. I'm not truly sure where my career is headed. I thought I knew my purpose, and I kinda do, but shouldn't I be more motivated and excited if it was TRUE!

I should be content with having a place I can just sit and meditate. But damn I don't wanna sit down in my room.. i end up asleep in my bed instead of meditating.

I'm so much more excited and focused on my future than the present.
How about, for example, each tuesday and thursday for example, you reach out to your collegues who you are good with, to go out after work for Dinner and maybe some drinks?
I always just drink water, it just the human connection that matters.
 
Yeah I feel that way sometimes. I don't have the privacy I need to meditate without having overbearing jesus freaks questioning what I'm doing so I manage to squeeze out some aura of protection at work at my desk when it's slow. As for career, idk what I even want anymore realistically in today's economy. Low key I would love nothing more to be part of a coven full time in some remote castle or something just full throttle in magickal workings and meditation.. unfortunately we are behind enemy lines.. this is our struggle but perhaps just us being here doing what we can, learning what we can, being the resistance is the point of this life right now..
I was making a prayer recently and a thought came to mind. The time I have alloted to me, each day, think of them like "Action points". I definitely can accomplish twice as much each day if I learn to incorporate my meditations into my Work life. My light body I want to flow brilliantly like a youthful child.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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