Hello, everyone. I've been dealing with a chronic problem for a very long time, and I feel it's time to ask for help.
I've been dedicated to Satan for about nine years now. At first glance, that may look impressive, but there's been one major hangup that's keeping me just spinning my wheels: I can't calm my mind or control my thoughts. It's like constantly having someone yelling in my ear; my thoughts are wildly racing every which way at lightning speed, and I can't escape it. If I start having unpleasant thoughts, my only defense is to drown them out with other thoughts. When I try to direct my thoughts to something specific, there's a high chance I'll be thrown off-track by one errant thought and be led down a tangent.
As such, deep focus is essentially impossible for me, keeping me from advancing much beyond a beginner's level despite how long I've been at this. I've asked our Gods and my gracious Guardian for help, but since I cannot focus, I'm unable to understand them. I've tried cleaning my soul, planetary squares, the RTR, removing curses, rosaries...so far, none of it's had any impact. I haven't given up though; currently I'm in the middle of a soul-freeing working. I'm hoping as hard as I can that it does something, but I'm so frustrated and demoralized at this point that it's hard not to expect the worst.
I'm nearing my wit's end, so I turn to you, my brothers and sisters. Is there something I may have missed? Does there exist some remedy to this I may have overlooked? What else should I try?
I've been dedicated to Satan for about nine years now. At first glance, that may look impressive, but there's been one major hangup that's keeping me just spinning my wheels: I can't calm my mind or control my thoughts. It's like constantly having someone yelling in my ear; my thoughts are wildly racing every which way at lightning speed, and I can't escape it. If I start having unpleasant thoughts, my only defense is to drown them out with other thoughts. When I try to direct my thoughts to something specific, there's a high chance I'll be thrown off-track by one errant thought and be led down a tangent.
As such, deep focus is essentially impossible for me, keeping me from advancing much beyond a beginner's level despite how long I've been at this. I've asked our Gods and my gracious Guardian for help, but since I cannot focus, I'm unable to understand them. I've tried cleaning my soul, planetary squares, the RTR, removing curses, rosaries...so far, none of it's had any impact. I haven't given up though; currently I'm in the middle of a soul-freeing working. I'm hoping as hard as I can that it does something, but I'm so frustrated and demoralized at this point that it's hard not to expect the worst.
I'm nearing my wit's end, so I turn to you, my brothers and sisters. Is there something I may have missed? Does there exist some remedy to this I may have overlooked? What else should I try?