boyfriend troubles

[Corinne]

i had this feeling since i became a satanist, and it felt like my boyfriend and i were never going to work out. its sad because i really loved him, but he did something that ( to me at least ) is a big mistake. an irreparable mistake. i feel like shit. i dont know weather to seek out the council of a demon to help me ( wich might be a waste of their time ) or just ask help from you guys. he accepted me and my new religion and felt so close to me. like we were supposed to be together. like i was content with waking up to his face every morning, never straying or wanting the comfort for another. with that love also came great anger. we feel the same way about each other. we are the only people who get under each others skin. i have 3 routes to take. one, just become romantically involved with a demon, work things out, or just give up and go get with someone else. that someone else may or may not accept me for who i am. im scared. lonely, and looking for advice. curently self medicating with niquel. im a lightweight, so niquel will get me high like benadril. im not going to use much else, except get drunk later this week. really shaken up and feel betrayed. having an intelligent relationship seems like a must, but i just want a human by my side, but then i feel needy and superficial. so worked up i dont know what to do, other than meditate till i fall asleep. cant see straight. takes me for ever to type this. so many typos.

 

[Kevin Poole]

well if you still love him and want to be with him theres only one "route" for you the way i see it id try to work it out with him i get the feeling you didnt give us the whole story but its fine because if he loves you the way you seem to love him it shouldnt matter what you "or he" did and you should be able to move past it..oh and one more thing dont self medicate it may seem like its helping but its only masking the pain and its always going to come back the only way to get rid of the pain is to bind the wound so to speak i hope my little speech here hashelped in any way possible good luck and i hope things work out for the best with you two.

From: Corinne <corinneransbottom@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tue, January 25, 2011 2:39:49 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] boyfriend troubles

  i had this feeling since i became a satanist, and it felt like my boyfriend and i were never going to work out. its sad because i really loved him, but he did something that ( to me at least ) is a big mistake. an irreparable mistake. i feel like shit. i dont know weather to seek out the council of a demon to help me ( wich might be a waste of their time ) or just ask help from you guys. he accepted me and my new religion and felt so close to me. like we were supposed to be together. like i was content with waking up to his face every morning, never straying or wanting the comfort for another. with that love also came great anger. we feel the same way about each other. we are the only people who get under each others skin. i have 3 routes to take. one, just become romantically involved with a demon, work things out, or just give up and go get with someone else. that someone else may or may not accept me for who i am. im scared. lonely, and looking for advice. curently self medicating with niquel. im a lightweight, so niquel will get me high like benadril. im not going to use much else, except get drunk later this week. really shaken up and feel betrayed. having an intelligent relationship seems like a must, but i just want a human by my side, but then i feel needy and superficial. so worked up i dont know what to do, other than meditate till i fall asleep. cant see straight. takes me for ever to type this. so many typos.

 

[Corinne]

thanks for replying, and it did help. i havent self medicated before, so i thought if people do it it may not be completely useless. its been hard for me to sleep and with this in my life i feel like i cant get to sleep at all.i did end up getting drunk ( i dont drink until last night ) and it does absolutely nothing to help with the feelings. im ok though, its my day off and ive come up with a plan thanks to all my friends, but no i didnt give the whole elongated story because its filled with drama and would take up too much time and effort to explain both sides to give an accurate representation of whats going on. plain and simple ive broken up with him, and am doing what i need to do for myself. boyfriend, car insurance, family crap, moving out, being unemployed is way too much on my plate but im gonna meditate today because ive only been able to do it once fully for 45 min. it was wonderful. ive got some more time so ill try to figure everything out from here. if he doesnt pick up the pace and get it together ill forget about him, because im not going to drag myself through the mud dealing with someone who may give me trouble, financially fuck me over, and ruin my credit. when you get a place with someone your involved with their debt is your debt, their problems are your problems and i dont want to deal with it, let alone kick him out and not be able to keep up with the rent. i hope he will get his stuff together, i really love him but if he wants to play around instead of being an adult im gone.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Kevin Poole <k.poole83@... wrote:

well if you still love him and want to be with him theres only one "route" for
you the way i see it id try to work it out with him i get the feeling you didnt
give us the whole story but its fine because if he loves you the way you seem to
love him it shouldnt matter what you "or he" did and you should be able to move
past it..oh and one more thing dont self medicate it may seem like its helping
but its only masking the pain and its always going to come back the only way to
get rid of the pain is to bind the wound so to speak i hope my little speech
here hashelped in any way possible good luck and i hope things work out for the
best with you two.




________________________________
From: Corinne <corinneransbottom@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Tue, January 25, 2011 2:39:49 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] boyfriend troubles

 
i had this feeling since i became a satanist, and it felt like my boyfriend and
i were never going to work out. its sad because i really loved him, but he did
something that ( to me at least ) is a big mistake. an irreparable mistake. i
feel like shit. i dont know weather to seek out the council of a demon to help
me ( wich might be a waste of their time ) or just ask help from you guys. he
accepted me and my new religion and felt so close to me. like we were supposed
to be together. like i was content with waking up to his face every morning,
never straying or wanting the comfort for another. with that love also came
great anger. we feel the same way about each other. we are the only people who
get under each others skin. i have 3 routes to take. one, just become
romantically involved with a demon, work things out, or just give up and go get
with someone else. that someone else may or may not accept me for who i am. im
scared. lonely, and looking for advice. curently self medicating with niquel. im
a lightweight, so niquel will get me high like benadril. im not going to use
much else, except get drunk later this week. really shaken up and feel betrayed.
having an intelligent relationship seems like a must, but i just want a human by
my side, but then i feel needy and superficial. so worked up i dont know what to
do, other than meditate till i fall asleep. cant see straight. takes me for ever
to type this. so many typos.

 

[Kevin Poole]

seems like you have a decent head on your shoulders and i understand where you are comming from i moved in with a girl i thought i loved up untill i found out she had been cheating on me right after ruining my credit and leaving me with no money it was so bad i had to move back in with my mom and for someone like me..thats hard to do..pride and all but if you feel its best to not be with him then i would just not be with him for awhile maybe after some time apart he will mature alittle and you two can start seeing eachother again if not oh well his loss all i can say at this point is do what your mind tells you is the right thing to do because your heart is always pulled towards the one you just left and it never..well usually never works out very well best of luck to you.

From: Corinne <corinneransbottom@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, January 26, 2011 6:52:12 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: boyfriend troubles

 
thanks for replying, and it did help. i havent self medicated before, so i thought if people do it it may not be completely useless. its been hard for me to sleep and with this in my life i feel like i cant get to sleep at all.i did end up getting drunk ( i dont drink until last night ) and it does absolutely nothing to help with the feelings. im ok though, its my day off and ive come up with a plan thanks to all my friends, but no i didnt give the whole elongated story because its filled with drama and would take up too much time and effort to explain both sides to give an accurate representation of whats going on. plain and simple ive broken up with him, and am doing what i need to do for myself. boyfriend, car insurance, family crap, moving out, being unemployed is way too much on my plate but im gonna meditate today because ive only been able to do it once fully for 45 min. it was wonderful. ive got some more time so ill try to figure everything out from here. if he doesnt pick up the pace and get it together ill forget about him, because im not going to drag myself through the mud dealing with someone who may give me trouble, financially fuck me over, and ruin my credit. when you get a place with someone your involved with their debt is your debt, their problems are your problems and i dont want to deal with it, let alone kick him out and not be able to keep up with the rent. i hope he will get his stuff together, i really love him but if he wants to play around instead of being an adult im gone.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Kevin Poole <k.poole83@... wrote:

well if you still love him and want to be with him theres only one "route" for
you the way i see it id try to work it out with him i get the feeling you didnt
give us the whole story but its fine because if he loves you the way you seem to
love him it shouldnt matter what you "or he" did and you should be able to move
past it..oh and one more thing dont self medicate it may seem like its helping
but its only masking the pain and its always going to come back the only way to
get rid of the pain is to bind the wound so to speak i hope my little speech
here hashelped in any way possible good luck and i hope things work out for the
best with you two.




________________________________
From: Corinne <corinneransbottom@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Tue, January 25, 2011 2:39:49 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] boyfriend troubles

 
i had this feeling since i became a satanist, and it felt like my boyfriend and
i were never going to work out. its sad because i really loved him, but he did
something that ( to me at least ) is a big mistake. an irreparable mistake. i
feel like shit. i dont know weather to seek out the council of a demon to help
me ( wich might be a waste of their time ) or just ask help from you guys. he
accepted me and my new religion and felt so close to me. like we were supposed
to be together. like i was content with waking up to his face every morning,
never straying or wanting the comfort for another. with that love also came
great anger. we feel the same way about each other. we are the only people who
get under each others skin. i have 3 routes to take. one, just become
romantically involved with a demon, work things out, or just give up and go get
with someone else. that someone else may or may not accept me for who i am. im
scared. lonely, and looking for advice. curently self medicating with niquel. im
a lightweight, so niquel will get me high like benadril. im not going to use
much else, except get drunk later this week. really shaken up and feel betrayed.
having an intelligent relationship seems like a must, but i just want a human by
my side, but then i feel needy and superficial. so worked up i dont know what to
do, other than meditate till i fall asleep. cant see straight. takes me for ever
to type this. so many typos.