NigredoMax said:
Lightning-Wings said:
I fully agree with brother Blitz.
I personally sometimes think about starting anew and getting a new partner that is "perfect" for me, but then my past lives attachments and influences cause me to doubt and rethink everything and if it gets to a certain point, I just cannot accept the new person fully as my soul basically rejects them due to past life vows.
I'm working on this tho.
HAIL SATAN!
If you don't mind Lightning could you give any specifics to what about these feelings lets you know it's due to your past lives?
I'm interested because I have yet to ever find someone who really "sparks" a romantic interest out of me. Even if I like them as people or friends and they are interested in a relationship with me I just never feel like doing it. I believe it might be due to my chart having me almost overvalue my personal freedom when compared to many things, but I'm unsure and am trying to explore other reasons why I feel the way I do.
If you do not feel comfortable with sharing that kind of information I understand.
I also apologize for getting this topic a bit derailed.
Hail Satan!
I have done past life regression meditation as shown on the main Joy of Satan website: https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Past_Life_Meditation.html
And I have learned that I had a soulmate. So far I know that I met him in my second life, we had a picnic together, horses were grazing, the grass was so lush and green it felt like out of a fairy tale. I saw us both laughing and lovingly looking at each other.
I then saw my 3rd life, I was living in a village with him, we had 2 kids, a girl and a baby boy. I saw our village getting attacked, there was fire everywhere, I heard screams of panic and fear. I saw my soulmate quickly join other men in the village to go fight the enemy that invaded us while us women ran for safety with our children.
However, I saw two men chasing after us with machete like swords. I was overtaken by immense anger, rage, hatred for them and I charged at them, to distract them so others could escape. However, I was decapitated and as my soul was leaving my body, I saw my soulmate fighting before he was killed and his soul ascended, except I saw his soul dissipating, not going anywhere, but literally disappearing forever.
I never met him again. I felt immense emptiness inside of my soul. I couldn't find him in my next lives as I'd get murdered quite young and in this life, I feel the emptiness still. I have searched for him, but no man I met ever made me feel that "connection". I just felt more desperate, frantic, lonely, abandoned, empty.
Every time any sort of sexual intercourse ensued, I just felt part of me closing off and I never reached an orgasm, but doing it by myself - I can.
And then I found out the truth. It hurt to hear those words. A God came to me, while my GD's were close by, who told me that my soulmate's soul is no more. His soul is gone forever. I sobbed so hard.. I could feel immense pain and emptiness. Like my heart got ripped out of my chest and destroyed in many small pieces.
I still cry when I think about my soulmate. I miss him dearly, but I know that I cannot ever replace him as no two souls are the same.
I am working to remove the connections, slowly. It hurts.
Every time I think about starting a new relationship, I feel slight happiness, but then immediately as things start to develop or so, I just end up feeling like it's wrong. I know now why.
I hope this helps explain things.
It's still hurtful, but not that horribly hurtful as it was when I found out..
Hail Satan!