April 19, 2025

[BrightSpace666]

Greetings,

Since I have always loved you, I will be as honest as possible in this post and answer some questions, most of which are legitimate. As "pathetic" as all this is, I don't care: I'm going to be honest.

A little about myself.

Well, my early SS years were exhilarating; from a very young age I was drawn to ancient Egypt/Greece, I've always found Demons, Satan (oddly, because I was attracted to them despite the hostile stereotype) "strangely" attractive.

Adolf Hitler, Heinrich Himmler, Goebbels, Heydrich, Röhm, Eichmann, Göring and the whole of National Socialist Germany were attractive to me, also since childhood.

I remember always asking my teacher about WWII in history lessons at school: I studied Nazi Germany extremely well and studied many SS/SA leaders and individuals. Personally, I have always been attracted to Himmler, not Hitler; I feel a kind of spiritual connection between myself and Himmler, intensely.

I had met ToZ (then JoS) years before I joined and read the Forums: at that time the wonderful Maxine posted, Ex-High Priest Mageson and many members I no longer meet.

I learned/understood all the JoS material before I joined, and continued to develop and post after I joined, all driven by my empathy/sympathy for SS. I will address later whether I posted those posts just for "appreciation": SPOILER -> NO.

I am spiritual at heart, with an extremely deep emotional life; in my personal life I am involved in a number of arts and sciences, one of which is clearly programming/cybersecurity.

Besides politics, writing, music (I'm a musician, I play guitar/bass/drums/piano/synthesizer), programming/cybersecurity/hacking, math, sociology, religion, and more.

Despite my young age, I am extremely talented in many things. Satan and my Guardian have repeatedly told me that I must stop my monumental self-destruction because I reject my exceptional potential... I did not believe them because I was and am following my own mind.

I also have fear because I really do self-destruct intensely every day (I've been in hospital); the lethargy/melancholy has been with me for years. Lately I have "recovered" somewhat, but unfortunately my alcohol/nicotine addiction is holding me back (I wrote the "Farewell" post under the influence of alcohol).

I never liked alcohol (I don't like it now: it disgusts me), so I gave it up, but my smoking, well... Good question. I only started drinking alcohol 2 months ago.

If you've got this far, read on: there's more about me, I'll tell you all about it in this post.

One is my appreciation tendency: well, that's half-true. It never bothered me in my private life, nor did it bother me at all, but in SS it's extremely important, because I've always felt loved and that I belonged somewhere.

The SS has been the most important thing for me for years, so I am more sensitive to it because I felt that my skills were not recognised here. This is important because I wanted to feel that I counted for something here; in my private life, everyone will say that I am the one who doesn't give a shit about other people's opinions.

Here I would like to answer whether my previous posts were all written for recognition or not: never, I repeat never, was recognition driven when I wrote my posts, but empathy/sympathy and the knowledge I conveyed. The importance of 'recognition' goes back to the first Guardians.

I felt that I was not useful enough to JoS to be considered a Guardian. My opinion of the Guardians (for example in the farewell post) was never real, I was driven only by a sense of disappointment and nothingness.

That's pretty stupid, because why would I want to be a Guardian when I'm also useful as a Member: my emotions led me there, I can't think of a better explanation.

For example, I worked with Blitzkrieg on an immune system project before he was appointed Guardian, and I talked a lot with Soaring. So: my negative opinion of the Guardians was only due to disappointment... I actually respect and love them, but my negative feelings have led me to this point.

The reason why I am writing this post so soon is, well: as soon as I wrote the "Farewell" post, I received several signals. I listened to music, music that seemed to "lecture" me started playing, I listened to videos that had a sentence or two that made me realize things. It was music that wasn't about that, but I understood: it was music that I didn't know...

I've had several signals in the last few days, but the last one was the most intense, I was listening to a piece of music, I don't know what style it was, but it was repeated several times, regardless of the music: "The gods love you, the gods love you".

I remember protesting about it so much that I opened a couple of beers and just smoked, because I was extremely surprised and moved that the gods still wanted to care about me: maybe it was further proof of how important we are to them, or maybe I'm just stupid.

The reason I wanted to go again was because of the fucking emotions, and alcohol helped; let's face it, you can't leave Gods. I worked on my emotions several times with different jobs, but it's hard. I'm doing one now and trying to recover. My knowledge is useful to ToZ members, I acknowledge that, and from now on, when I am in an emotional state, I will smoke 2-3 cigarettes instead of writing this post.

Apart from my "farewell" post, I have not written any posts driven by my negative emotions.

Another thread, Kundalini-Project. I'm going to have a quick smoke.

I'm back, let's continue.

The purpose of the Kundalini-Project was originally (and still is) that I needed a place to make my Programs/Software available under a License. This has worked beautifully and is working, with many more visitors than I expected, and much sooner than I expected.

I saw a comment from a member under the "Farewell" post, which stated that I want to sell my Project to ToZ (??). I've seen a lot of stupid things, but this was the biggest.

In the post, I clearly stated that if I get funding (i.e. if someone outside SS supports me), I will not spend the money on myself, but will wholeheartedly give it all to ToZ [Afodo was right with his comment about this), helping with servers, sites, databases, etc. The Kundalini-Project exists within ToZ, and will never be as big as ToZ.

However: the Kundalini-Project can still help ToZ: activism, sites, programming (if there are explicit software/needs that meet the needs of the Clergy/Guardians. With my programming skills I would be happy to write software for ToZ that they request).

The Kundalini-Project also helps with activism. Also, with my hacking skills, KP would be able to do in-depth analysis of ToZ sites (like Kundalini-Check), help make them more secure, etc.

I've been thinking lately, and in hindsight it's completely realistic: the Kundalini-Project is my WORK, and I can't expect credit or anything for a Project that ToZ doesn't ask me to do.

Getting back to myself, I'm off to smoke again.

Here I am again.

My only problem is that I'm extremely sentimental; I'm very empathetic to people's emotions and I have a hard time coping with my own emotions. But I haven't managed on my own, hence the reason:

I'd like to ask someone in SS who is skilled in magic/meditation to help me get stronger again... I've been doing it on my own, but my motivation is waning, and I'd like someone to "persuade" me to do it...

I am active every day via email and would be happy to report my progress with my feelings... The problem with quitting smoking is that it's the one thing I don't want to quit: I should quit, but let's face it, I love smoking extremely much. I need help with my emotions...

I want to sort out my chaotic emotional world, because it's at the expense of SS and my own health...

I used to meditate/do yoga, but I gave it up last semester and have not meditated/do yoga at all since. I haven't done magic in a while either. The most recent magic I did was probably black magic; I won't go into details, but I put that rat into the hospital.

My magical abilities are somewhat refined, and I have my own practices for Black Magic, though I only resort to it in very exceptional cases. I've been doing more White Magic: money meditation, love/sexual magic, and I've done them all in a short time (thankfully).

I would like to have a higher ranking SS on my side in this process, because I am serious about my decision; I need to work on my emotions so that emotional outbursts like the one in the "Goodbye" post don't happen.

I consume more alcohol/cigarettes in a heated emotional state, but at a level that in my personal life, those around me are extremely concerned for me. I don't want to kill myself by doing this, but if I keep it up I will destroy myself in a few years [I'm not doing too well already].

I fully acknowledge what my opinion was about the Guardians in the previous post. I will not ask for forgiveness because once I have said something, I do not take it back; however, I will say that I have the utmost respect for the Guardians. Logically, this is what I think; any other negative opinion is just a consequence of emotional outbursts [the post also mentioned alcohol].

If I am forgiven, that’s fine; if not, then I have to accept it—I brought this upon myself. Although I was inebriated, that is not an excuse.

I do not take it back because that would be like not taking responsibility. But I do take responsibility: if I am not forgiven, then I accept that.

I did not write this long post for no reason: I never want to leave here, and I do not plan to. My emotions are very intense, and often only negative thoughts and my disappointment in myself guide me: I often feel that I am not good enough for anything.

I am aware that I have dug myself into a hole and damaged my reputation here to some extent, but I accept that too; it was meant to be this way.

I would also like to add that I am available from now on to the Priesthood and the Guardians. If you need a program/software that is useful for ToZ, I will help write it, whether alone or in a team: I have already written many software/programs for systems/web, so I am happy to be of use.

Those members who do not like it from now on have every right to do so. Whatever will be, will be.

Thank you for reading.

Best regards,

BrightSpace666

Sieg Heil!

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

I'd like to ask someone in SS who is skilled in magic/meditation to help me get stronger again... I've been doing it on my own, but my motivation is waning, and I'd like someone to "persuade" me to do it...

The problem is that you are seeking recognition from others in order to gain permission. You have already seen and are already aware of your own talents, what else should others tell you? You may try to make everything of these available for the Temple of Zeus, but as a Zevist you belong to Zeus' growing power if you performed the dedication so as ToZ must grow you too have every right to grow. Whether others recognize it or not does not determine anything.

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

talents

Try calling them "characteristics," if you call them "talents," you associate them with something you would improbably have. But you do have them.

 

[AFODO]

Hey brother, from your story it is obvious you are meant to be on this path. You need to keep this always in mind, the Gods want you here, you are mean to be here. You are meant to advance and help yourself, you are meant to overcome.

The truth is that if somebody helps you, you will hate this person a lot. Because you are very disoriented and falling off the path, you have a very bad attitude towards the path.
In order to fix this people need to be honest with you, and most-most-most importantly, YOU HAVE TO BE HONES WITH YOURSELF! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MAN??
You are so fucking selfish you want to waste other's time by "helping" you, ESPECIALLY HIGH RANKING SS BECAUSE YOU MUH DESERVE THE WORLD, but you don't give a single fuck about yourself? WHO THE FUCK GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THEMSELF WHO DRINK, SMOKE, AND LIE TO HIMSELF EVERY DAY AND ALL DAY??
You can have all the illusions you want about being some revered Zevist but this will never ever happen if you keep being dishonest.

Let me get this straight, you are not a fucking Zevist, or SS if that's more understandable, if you don't meditate every day, don't do the rituals, and not around other SS.
You should first and foremost get your ass down to meditate at least 20-40 a day to call yourself an SS, and we have a ritual schedule currently. Did you even know that? Do you even know we have a new ritual for God? You should get yourself and do the ritual now. And plea to God to have mercy on you and make you take other's advice. Like really is it even worth for me to write all this? WILL YOU TAKE MY ADVICE EVER? Or do I need to prove myself to you and become a pharaoh for you to take my advice? Because I don't care than.

You feel lost and empty because you do nothing, you will always feel nothing as long as you do nothing. But imagine what if you would do this ritual
Or sit down for 20 minutes to do an aura cleaning and trance meditation. That would be insane dude.
And imagine talking to others
Like building relationships and shit. Or participate in projects where you may not use your skills yet but guess what, YOU ARE GAINING OTHER'S RESPECT AND BUILD RELATIONSHIPS.... THAT'S INSANE DUDE. I CAN'T IMAGINE GAINING THE SECOND MOST INFLUENTIAL ZEVIST'S RESPECT! Like TG Alexandrow Iowno BLESS those who participate in outreach. Those in outreach know he is only second to HPHC and HPS Lydia.

Or working in IT with TG ApolloAbove and TG Blackonyx? Those who made the whole ToZ? Do you realize you could have these godly beings on your side? Do you realize the significance of this? Probably not because you are better than these noob TGs, we know. But what if?

 

[AFODO]

Despite my young age, I am extremely talented in many things. Satan and my Guardian have repeatedly told me that I must stop my monumental self-destruction because I reject my exceptional potential... I did not believe them because I was and am following my own mind.

"God told me I should stop being self-destructive but I don't fucking care about God, I'm godless and do whatever I want"
This is you above
And this is what you could be:
"Gods told me I should stop being self-destructive, so, for the sake of them, because I'm religious and I held the Gods at the highest importance, I stop everything destructive now because this have widened my perception about my destiny and that I shall fulfill my destiny"

The SS has been the most important thing for me for years, so I am more sensitive to it because I felt that my skills were not recognised here. This is important because I wanted to feel that I counted for something here; in my private life, everyone will say that I am the one who doesn't give a shit about other people's opinions.

'I'm a crybaby because people don't appreacheat my work that are not used by any SS anyways but one, and myself, but I require everyone to bow and repeat "Thank you great BrightSpace that you have blessed us with this great software, We apreaceat all that you do and we plea to you to continue working on them"

And what you should think:

"SS have not been interested in this type of software and topic, it looks like I have to change and do other things in order to gain more recognition and advance in this holy path. I already know how to, so I shall start doing this starting now."

I felt that I was not useful enough to JoS to be considered a Guardian. My opinion of the Guardians (for example in the farewell post) was never real, I was driven only by a sense of disappointment and nothingness.

That's pretty stupid, because why would I want to be a Guardian when I'm also useful as a Member: my emotions led me there, I can't think of a better explanation.

For example, I worked with Blitzkrieg on an immune system project before he was appointed Guardian, and I talked a lot with Soaring. So: my negative opinion of the Guardians was only due to disappointment... I actually respect and love them, but my negative feelings have led me to this point.

You hate them because you are nothing compared to them and you have serious problems. What they have contributed to ToZ will make them A GOD. The Gods will make them a God for what they have done and will be eternally burned into history as the most revered figures, like Himmler and Gobbels and the others. You know you could have been one of them if you stopped hiding yourself and not scared away by cloudflare and technology. And future actions counts as well.

Where the Gods concerned they don't care about past mistakes. Like they couldn't care less. There is an eternal now and what you do now is what matter only. Like literally this present moment matters ONLY. Nothing else. Past or probabyl future does not matter at all. What is real is what happens now and that what's matters only.

The reason why I am writing this post so soon is, well: as soon as I wrote the "Farewell" post, I received several signals. I listened to music, music that seemed to "lecture" me started playing, I listened to videos that had a sentence or two that made me realize things. It was music that wasn't about that, but I understood: it was music that I didn't know...

I've had several signals in the last few days, but the last one was the most intense, I was listening to a piece of music, I don't know what style it was, but it was repeated several times, regardless of the music: "The gods love you, the gods love you".

I remember protesting about it so much that I opened a couple of beers and just smoked, because I was extremely surprised and moved that the gods still wanted to care about me: maybe it was further proof of how important we are to them, or maybe I'm just stupid.

Again, my analogy above. They don't care about past. And you call smoking celebration? To celebrate this, donate to the ToZ 50$ and tell him that you are back and you are so sorry about everything. Who the fuck celebrates by destructive acts? And not with something contructive? Learn to celebrate right.

I am active every day via email and would be happy to report my progress with my feelings... The problem with quitting smoking is that it's the one thing I don't want to quit: I should quit, but let's face it, I love smoking extremely much. I need help with my emotions...

"please guys talk to me anywhere but on the forums. I know this forum have an email system and everything but I don't even wanna touch this forum because it's spying on me. I'M SCARED PLEASE LEAVE THE FORUM WITH ME. PLEASE GUYS HOLD MY HAND AND JUST LEAVE! LIKE REALLY PLEASE SMOKE A JOINT WITH ME BECAUSE I CAN'T STAY ON THAT EVIL FORUM FOR MORE THAN 10 MINUTES"

I'm very fucking sure you are allowed to use the dm funcion on the forum. Use that. And comment to people's post.
Do you know what karma is? It's real. There is more type of it and one of them is if you help others and do good things for others this will generate good karma for you.
And yes this is true, HPS Lydia said also.

Every single one of us who have been here on the forums and helping others and doing things for the ToZ and donating are blessed by the Gods and we are very wealthy spiritually.
Have you ever seen Henu doing somehting wrong or low-like? Like yourself? Or do you even know who he is? Because I never he is very perfect in my eyes and a lot of this have to do with this and spiritual advancement.

You never going to be a good Zevist if you keep a distance. The more you affiliate yourself with these beutiful people and the Gods the better you'll become and the more you'll be like them. But there is no other way, and no way around.

I used to meditate/do yoga, but I gave it up last semester and have not meditated/do yoga at all since. I haven't done magic in a while either. The most recent magic I did was probably black magic; I won't go into details, but I put that rat into the hospital.

"Mom, today I did death spell on someone who really deserved it, like I mean it, it's true I have no clue about ethics because I don't meditate but I can justifiably kill others because I can do everything, I'm with the Gods so it's justified, right? MOM?!? BUT MOM I SWEAR I WILL ALSO HELP SOMEONE SOMEDAY I SWEAR!!"

Dude are you gonna do anything beneficial and helpful to others?

If I am forgiven, that’s fine; if not, then I have to accept it—I brought this upon myself. Although I was inebriated, that is not an excuse.

"Guys please forgive me! You know I will continue to do nothing and post once per year but forgive me because I'm bligated. I will pretend I don't care, in fact I'll pretend I don't even care if you forgive me, hah!"

Take actions instead of sitting idly.

You know if you get yourself to work right now and do the Good deeds you are on to a great path again.
I don't know if you know but there is a donor system. If you donate to ToZ you can buy rituals that are of pharaoic importance.
If you are serious about this than we can talk in private about it and I'll ask for permission for everything I share with you about them.

 

[Henu the Great]

Made a shit-show, did not apologize, does not meditate, and wants a personal mentor.

Start by taking this Path seriously, for starters, maybe then.

 

[AFODO]

You are not going to help yourself by taking a nice hot bath, than sit outside with a cigar and talk to people how you feel and what are your feelings.
These are nonsense things. Like as if your feelings matter. This will create this delusion that your feelings are very important. No. What matters is what you do and what you should do.

What you should do to become a proper initiate of the Gods? What are your views on this? Because start from here, maybe you have misconceptions. So what you should be doing?
And than, compare this to what you do? Do you do any of this? How you can change yourself to integrate ALL OF THIS into your life?
Say to yourself, I will do everything to make myself worth.

Don't be a softboy, be a man of action. You will only become a someone if you do everything in order for that. Fulfill your destiny. Be serious.
If you have no seriousness and respect towards the Gods you will never advance. If you are serious you do whatever it take to become a good initiate. You don't sit around thinking about your excuses. Whatever situation you are in, you can become serious for once and do everything you can. Sacrifice. Work.
There is going to be natural resistance. For everyone. Yet everyone who want to be successful fight this resistance and woala, they are successful.

You need to re-frame your mind completely. And there is hypnosis audio you can buy on Hall of Osiris that will just do that. You need to stop being a looser and become an ideal man in the mind. And your whole life and career will follow that. But you need to put your mind in order first.

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

Or sit down for 20 minutes to do an aura cleaning and trance meditation

Hi! Thank you for this also from me

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

Like as if your feelings matter. This will create this delusion that your feelings are very important. No. What matters is what you do and what you should do.

Hmm I understood, it is because if others do not see you they would never believe so You have to show the evidence of your talking so much.

What are your views on this?

I am pretty sure the reason that brought to me the motivation to be a nice person here on the ToZ does still matter in my view about my duty.

If you have no seriousness and respect towards the Gods you will never advance

I have always showed the utmost respect towards the Gods, so change the way or adding a new one will not be so different by the way.

You don't sit around thinking about your excuses.

You are right, I have already did enough things to others to deserve to take care also of myself now

There is going to be natural resistance

I know. But I have already suffered any kind of suffering in every way for +20 years so I am enough "trained" to resist and not to die no matter what you actually suffer and how does actually really seem you are goind to die.

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

Uhm sorry I am not fully able to understand why I am answering this, thank you for your understanding by the way lol

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

@AFODO I saw your like reaction. I am happy, I was really not fully able to understand why I was telling you this, I appreciate you doesn't mind the inconvenience. Hahah

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

doesn't

You don't

 

[Ĥl·lĥæ]

You don't need someone to guide you, the guidance is already there in Maxine's old writings and on the main site.
I read here that you know how to talk to your Guardian God, he's practically a guru.
Communicating with him will motivate you to do the things you already know you should be doing.

And yes, you caused this because you know full well the consequences of speaking out.
You could then be sensible and just leave, wait until your desire to stay on the forums returns, and continue your work with more confidence.

I don't know if your emotional problems are due to external factors or to your "problems" here.
If it's the latter, I have to say that you're really quite stupid.
This kind of thing will end up turning off your PC or any electronic device that gives you access to the Internet.

Allowing yourself to be saddened by such things is a lack of wisdom.

 

[AFODO]

Uhm sorry I am not fully able to understand why I am answering this, thank you for your understanding by the way lol

It's okay. I'm happy if this inspired you but you have also been doing very well here as a Zevist. Just keep this tendency up. Improve on what needs to be improved.

 

[MT88]

Hi,

Healing the Emotional Body (for men too, don’t disregard this)

You have your physical body, soul, astral body, mental body, and more. The Emotional Body is the part of the soul that can be damaged when you experience emotional trauma, grief, bereavement, abandonment, and so on. Many people have emotional outbursts, immature reactions, trigger episodes...

ancient-forums.com

On May 1st, the Moon enters Cancer, and will be in the waxing part of its cycle after the New Moon starts on April 27th. I will be doing this emotional body healing working and wrote it as reminder, I hope you do it for yourself as well

 

[serpentwalker666]

Pull yourself together, seriously.

You aren't alone in such struggles, many of us have struggled with alcoholism, addiction, health problems, poverty, but one must take the incentive and fight against all of this, even if it's like carving a mountain apart with a chisel for awhile.

One must follow a different path then this, it leads no where.

You owe an apology to the Temple Guardians, and us here.

You need to take responsibility, own up and change.

 

[BrightSpace666]

You are not going to help yourself by taking a nice hot bath, than sit outside with a cigar and talk to people how you feel and what are your feelings.
These are nonsense things. Like as if your feelings matter. This will create this delusion that your feelings are very important. No. What matters is what you do and what you should do.

What you should do to become a proper initiate of the Gods? What are your views on this? Because start from here, maybe you have misconceptions. So what you should be doing?
And than, compare this to what you do? Do you do any of this? How you can change yourself to integrate ALL OF THIS into your life?
Say to yourself, I will do everything to make myself worth.

Don't be a softboy, be a man of action. You will only become a someone if you do everything in order for that. Fulfill your destiny. Be serious.
If you have no seriousness and respect towards the Gods you will never advance. If you are serious you do whatever it take to become a good initiate. You don't sit around thinking about your excuses. Whatever situation you are in, you can become serious for once and do everything you can. Sacrifice. Work.
There is going to be natural resistance. For everyone. Yet everyone who want to be successful fight this resistance and woala, they are successful.

You need to re-frame your mind completely. And there is hypnosis audio you can buy on Hall of Osiris that will just do that. You need to stop being a looser and become an ideal man in the mind. And your whole life and career will follow that. But you need to put your mind in order first.

Brother, I get the point.

Yes, guess what, I am aware of the new things that exist in ToZ these days. I have been meditating now, I will do a Ritual soon, and I will start Lydia's emotional body healing work: I need to normalize the tendency of this process every day and move forward.

No dwelling on the past, but the present.

 

[Maelstorm]

Bright Space, this is what happens when you don't address the superiority complex and the entitlement mentality, and even abandon the meditations that are supposed to stabilize them to some degree. When you don't resolve these destructive and low-level tendencies that grow within you, you begin to regress on the Path, and when you give them control of the wheel, the waves of the sea drown you.

What you write here, even with good intentions, cannot be taken seriously because it is the product of an unstable mind. The last thread and the current one are the result of instability and panic and do not give a realistic and solid idea about you. If you ignore even the input of the Gods, what can you get from this thread? Forgiveness, understanding, support? These are things you must find within yourself, not demand from outside.

First you blossom within yourself, then this will turn into a huge garden and you will attract butterflies, that is, you will gain the appreciation of the outside world. But this can only happen if you first take care of the garden within. It cannot be the other way around, it is inside out, you cannot make it outside in. You cannot say, "If butterflies come to me, I will give them a beautiful garden!" That is not the way the world works. If you don't understand that, you will always be disappointed.

And as for being a Guardian, titles are always tempting, but being a Guardian is more than that. Being a Guardian of the Temple of Zeus is more than just building things. You can't make a few tools and expect them to be given to you; if you give in to your self-destructive tendencies, how can you be a Guardian? Aside from that, how can we talk so freely about a position that is given in the presence of the Gods? We are not allowed to do this. It is for the Gods to decide, not us mortals. It is divine!

Read Virtue Z, World Improvement and you will understand.

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

and I will start Lydia's emotional body healing work

Uh
Well I will do the same. I can handle a spell and some meditation of course lol

 

[Sonne]

Uh
Well I will do the same. I can handle a spell and some meditation of course lol

I think you should take a moment to think before posting. Even here, you already have 8 posts, and most of them are just short follow-ups to your previous ones.

 

[NetemPtah]

I've had several signals in the last few days, but the last one was the most intense, I was listening to a piece of music, I don't know what style it was, but it was repeated several times, regardless of the music: "The gods love you, the gods love you".

This should move you, from the depths of your soul.
Show your gratitude working on yourself.

The problem with quitting smoking is that it's the one thing I don't want to quit: I should quit, but let's face it, I love smoking extremely much.

This is not the proper mindset. You should be severe with yourself. You quit. I don't care about buts and ifs. Quit.
Repeat yourself that you hate smoking. Anytime you have the doubt, repeat it over and over, and over again.
You are what you think. You cannot justify your actions with the action itself. If you want to change, you need to start doing something different. At least think something different.
Do not indulge.
You want to smoke 2 cigarettes? Perfect, you smoke one, and that's it. Develop this approach. Start from this.
Reduce over time. Show yourself you are changing. And when something triggers your emotions, don't dare smoking or drinking the usual amount. Always reduce, every time is less than the previous one. Instead, work out, sleep, cry, whatever. Keep yourself busy instead of giving yourself the space to indulge in negative emotions and drinking.

I worked on my emotions several times with different jobs, but it's hard.

Hard or easy, it does not change the reality of what it is doing, and the fact you should control yourself. Educate yourself to it.
Repeat yourself you control your emotions. Over, and over, and over again.
When I talk about repetition here I speak from experience. I had sudden outbursts of extreme rage. I quit, with repetition. Every day, for months. It works.

You have great work to do.
You probably have something you need to gain control over in your personal life, even if you do not talk about this. You know it. Do it.
Do not complain, do not justify. Educate yourself.
You should have an enormous amount of respect for yourself. And stop doing shit. Do not waste your life, indulging in the mindset of "but I love this". Decide now you are gonna change.

Meditate every single day, I don't care if you start with 5 or 10 minutes. You meditate.
I'd start working with Shreem mantra immediately. Start with low repetitions.
In your case, discipline is key, not perfection. In whatever you do.
Changing is extremely difficult when your emotion being is at its lowest. You need to show yourself that even if you do little, you do it every day. This will motivate you over time.

Don't waste your life. You should be so angry for not respecting yourself. Any circumstance can make you collapse. How can you be comfortable with this? How can you allow this?

Forget about being a Guardian for the ToZ. Here Zeus literally blessed you. You can't be ok with your life now.
Do you think Zeus would let you live without ever facing your weaknesses?
He wants you to wake up.
Zeus is literally blessing you with an incredible existence that you cannot even see yet. You have no idea what a person who has control over his mind and emotions can do. And I am sure you have lots of incredible things you'd like to do with your life.
Go deal with this. And then I can assure you, you will achieve anything you want.
But if you can't control your mind and your emotions, you're fucked.

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

I need to normalize the tendency of this process every day and move forward.

Uh okay that's why, sorry.

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

I am aware of the new things that exist in ToZ these days

No, wait, I am not fully aware maybe. How could I be aware? Is there an "aware" thread? Please?

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

that exist in ToZ these days

ALRIGHT I UNDERSTOOD FINALY!
These days...
In ToZ...

Are you talking about the AMA lives, right?

 

[BrightSpace666]

No, wait, I am not fully aware maybe. How could I be aware? Is there an "aware" thread? Please?

I meant that I read the Forums systematically until I was logged in. But I try to be more active now.

There were many threads I could have replied to, a lot, but I didn't.

 

[Symmachos-ZEUS/SHAITAN]

I meant that I read the Forums systematically until I was logged in. But I try to be more active now.

There were many threads I could have replied to, a lot, but I didn't.

Hmm sure thank you of course!

 

[Epiphany]

Brother, I get the point.

Yes, guess what, I am aware of the new things that exist in ToZ these days. I have been meditating now, I will do a Ritual soon, and I will start Lydia's emotional body healing work: I need to normalize the tendency of this process every day and move forward.

No dwelling on the past, but the present.

You need to not only heal but also strengthen, like rehab to recover from surgery. Solar energy will take care of your self esteem issues.

 

[xlnt]

I never want to leave here, and I do not plan to.

That's good news!

 

[V12-POWER]

You need to take a few steps back, relax completely, and then start thinking again…seems to me you’re overwhelmed and can’t get anything right neither think straight

Aside from that it’s clear there are issues with your lifestyle choices which you should fix, as you can see, you’re against quitting smoking, yet you know how much this will hold you back, same for alcohol, etc

Nobody here will do the work for you, this is only on you and only you, so that attitude of yours asking for a mentor or whatever must be eliminated, as I said, take a few steps back, find the correct path and start moving forward again, cause now you’re in deep mud and spinning your wheels only sinks you deeper