Am I going Insane?

[Big Dipper]

So, right now I feel REALLY weird. It feels like any day now something I fear greatly is going to hit me hard and I'm going to snap. It feels like a lot of things are coming at me all at once. I seriously cant tell if i'm just excruciatingly bored, or if i'm feeling a bit hopeless? maybe? The reason why i'm feeling "hopeless" is because I recently started work again and because of that I got 10 hours worth of rtrs behind. (I will make up for those as I have been. 10 hours worth is 40 rtrs. I do 8 a day which is 2 hours worth) While I work I have plenty of time to think and I have been thinking of the big problems that I have and the ways to fix those problems, but they're all pretty complicated, but I think i'm scaring myself with all the thinking. The only ways I can see that would fix the issues that I have are things that sound like total nightmares to me. For example, I'm a really anxious person and doing things that I have no idea on how to do scare me a lot (like finding a place to live, pay the bills and taxes along with eating new stuff that's not steak, asparagus and mushrooms). It scares me so much that im tempted to ask for a succubus just to help teach me how to get through simple life stuff. I've been getting a feeling that I should talk to lord satan for a few days now and I think I will soon, but all I would do is just tell him my worries and I wouldn't be asking for anything. It's all really weird since the solutions to my problems are EXACTLY what I fear and wouldn't want to happen. I think one of my biggest issues is that im trying to stay in a safe, comfortable space in which nothing will get fixed.

I happen to be on the 2nd to last day on my 90 day munka for karma if this has anything to do with it. I also don't know if I ruined it since for the most part I used the affirmation "in a positive and healthy way for me, my chakras are completely free from any and all negative karma now and forever", then after around 70 days in I tried to make it more specific like this: "in a positive and healthy way for me, my 7 main chakras are completely free from any and all negative karma now and forever". I forgot to add the " and their extensions" part.

My daily meds are: aura cleaning with algiz rune 15 times for 90 seconds (affirmation: "the power of the algiz rune is protecting me from any and all negativity now and forever"), chakra cleaning, chakra spin at speed of light, void for 5 to 10 mins, aura empowering, dagaz rune for 3rd eye, raum meditation (affirmation: "In a safe, healthy, and positive way for me I'm continuously fortunate in mental, physical, spiritual health, and in everything I do now and forever") and munka for karma.

 

[F_For_Flamingo]

Hey i can't tell you about the working(since im fairly new) but i can tell you about that feeling of "losing out on rtr's"(atleast how it was for me).

I started meditating and doing Rtr's about 7 months ago. The first 3 months i was doing anywhere between 6-15 Rtr's a day. After that i got a job and my rtr's went down to 1-4. Now they went up to 4-6 again. You are not a Rtr Machine, i mean you gotta advance also(not only spiritualy but in the material sense also). If you had no Job you could not feed yourself and thus you could not do any Rtr. Also i belive that as you get stronger(energy wise) 4 Rtrs become as strong as the 8 that you did.

For me Satanism is Father Satan, Mother Lilith and the Gods showing us how to be strong independent individuals. I mean from reading your text i see that you allready got your answers, your are just looking for a confirmation.

Fears and the comfort zone are what keeps us down and not advancing(some fears are totally healthy and needed for survival, im not talking about those).

Good luck Borther, you got allready all the tools that you need!

Hail Father Satan!
Hail Mother Lilith!
Hail Teacher!
Hail Guardian!

 

[Henu the Great]

So, right now I feel REALLY weird. It feels like any day now something I fear greatly is going to hit me hard and I'm going to snap. It feels like a lot of things are coming at me all at once. I seriously cant tell if i'm just excruciatingly bored, or if i'm feeling a bit hopeless? maybe? The reason why i'm feeling "hopeless" is because I recently started work again and because of that I got 10 hours worth of rtrs behind. (I will make up for those as I have been. 10 hours worth is 40 rtrs. I do 8 a day which is 2 hours worth) While I work I have plenty of time to think and I have been thinking of the big problems that I have and the ways to fix those problems, but they're all pretty complicated, but I think i'm scaring myself with all the thinking. The only ways I can see that would fix the issues that I have are things that sound like total nightmares to me. For example, I'm a really anxious person and doing things that I have no idea on how to do scare me a lot (like finding a place to live, pay the bills and taxes along with eating new stuff that's not steak, asparagus and mushrooms). It scares me so much that im tempted to ask for a succubus just to help teach me how to get through simple life stuff. I've been getting a feeling that I should talk to lord satan for a few days now and I think I will soon, but all I would do is just tell him my worries and I wouldn't be asking for anything. It's all really weird since the solutions to my problems are EXACTLY what I fear and wouldn't want to happen. I think one of my biggest issues is that im trying to stay in a safe, comfortable space in which nothing will get fixed.

Definitely bring your issues to Satan. He will listen and most importantly, understand.

I happen to be on the 2nd to last day on my 90 day munka for karma if this has anything to do with it. I also don't know if I ruined it since for the most part I used the affirmation "in a positive and healthy way for me, my chakras are completely free from any and all negative karma now and forever", then after around 70 days in I tried to make it more specific like this: "in a positive and healthy way for me, my 7 main chakras are completely free from any and all negative karma now and forever". I forgot to add the " and their extensions" part.

After you begin a working, it is not to be changed. That being said I don't know how much such a little modification altered the outcome, but nevertheless. Don't alter working midway from now on.

My daily meds are: aura cleaning with algiz rune 15 times for 90 seconds (affirmation: "the power of the algiz rune is protecting me from any and all negativity now and forever"), chakra cleaning, chakra spin at speed of light, void for 5 to 10 mins, aura empowering, dagaz rune for 3rd eye, raum meditation (affirmation: "In a safe, healthy, and positive way for me I'm continuously fortunate in mental, physical, spiritual health, and in everything I do now and forever") and munka for karma.

So you use algiz for only 90 secs, but hammer on rtrs for two hours? That sounds a bit silly to me. Spend something like 5-10 minutes with algiz twice or thrice per day. For example I use algiz when I wake up, and after rtr. Sometimes also before going to sleep if I want some extra. So if you decide to alter it in way that you do more algiz at the expense of rtr know that it won't make you any less of a warrior. To me it looks like you are doing nice effort in any case.

 

[Big Dipper]

After you begin a working, it is not to be changed. That being said I don't know how much such a little modification altered the outcome, but nevertheless. Don't alter working midway from now on.

It made since to me that altering the affirmation in a way that made it more specific wouldn't weaken it, but I have no idea. Do you think there is a deadline until you commit with an affirmation in the case of coming up with an edit that would be better off?

So you use algiz for only 90 secs, but hammer on rtrs for two hours? That sounds a bit silly to me. Spend something like 5-10 minutes with algiz twice or thrice per day. For example I use algiz when I wake up, and after rtr. Sometimes also before going to sleep if I want some extra. So if you decide to alter it in way that you do more algiz at the expense of rtr know that it won't make you any less of a warrior.

I do aura cleaning for 90 seconds and within that I'll do the algiz rune 15 times. I haven't dedicated an algiz cleaning by itself.

To me it looks like you are doing nice effort in any case.