A lot to explain... a lot of questions

[Ashley]

Hi, my name's Ashley..
lately a lot of things have been confusing me..
You know that feeling you get about something, you're 99% sure about it, but then something gets in the way and eludes your mind from that 99% and then you don't know what to believe..

It's hard to fully dedicate my mind and thoughts into anything anymore.. I used to meditate a lot and have more power over things, and more psychic power, and I was closer to Satan than I am now..

Life started to get worse when I stopped... and as these things got worse, my mentality was laid to waste by then. Now it's almost a suicidal type of thing.

For the past few weeks, I've suddenly randomly started to be extremely depressed... and I had to skip school because of it.. then my parents started stressing out about things at home and bills, and it added up.. my best friend started to envy my boyfriend... i get home really late, so with all the stress and depression going on, school work was out of the question, i started skipping classes to cry in a bathroom stall when it got so bad i couldn't even go on, and one day i just started cutting myself.. showed my school counselor, mainly my fault, and my therapist that i was forced to go to, otherwise my mom would have put me into a mental hospital.... and now i fear becoming pink slipped meaning anyone as simple as a school counselor, to a therapist, to a cop can if they suspect anything from my cuts that i may be a threat to myself or someone else, meaning i will have to be in a hospital under someones mercy for three or more weeks ........


I know the negative energy keeps building up but I don't know how to get rid of it and start over.

I don't know how to open my heart and mind up again... for all the stuff that has happened lately, my mentality is completely f*cked.

I know I have a demon, but I don't know much about them....
I don't really even know why he's with me...
I know his name and it isn't on the list on the jos website.. Just wondering, can demons have names that are off the lists?
For example, Vordak xD

 

[Mary1]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Ashley" <arene616@... wrote:

Hi, my name's Ashley..
lately a lot of things have been confusing me..
You know that feeling you get about something, you're 99% sure about it, but then something gets in the way and eludes your mind from that 99% and then you don't know what to believe..

It's hard to fully dedicate my mind and thoughts into anything anymore.. I used to meditate a lot and have more power over things, and more psychic power, and I was closer to Satan than I am now..

Life started to get worse when I stopped... and as these things got worse, my mentality was laid to waste by then. Now it's almost a suicidal type of thing.

For the past few weeks, I've suddenly randomly started to be extremely depressed... and I had to skip school because of it.. then my parents started stressing out about things at home and bills, and it added up.. my best friend started to envy my boyfriend... i get home really late, so with all the stress and depression going on, school work was out of the question, i started skipping classes to cry in a bathroom stall when it got so bad i couldn't even go on, and one day i just started cutting myself.. showed my school counselor, mainly my fault, and my therapist that i was forced to go to, otherwise my mom would have put me into a mental hospital.... and now i fear becoming pink slipped meaning anyone as simple as a school counselor, to a therapist, to a cop can if they suspect anything from my cuts that i may be a threat to myself or someone else, meaning i will have to be in a hospital under someones mercy for three or more weeks ........


I know the negative energy keeps building up but I don't know how to get rid of it and start over.

I don't know how to open my heart and mind up again... for all the stuff that has happened lately, my mentality is completely f*cked.

I know I have a demon, but I don't know much about them....
I don't really even know why he's with me...
I know his name and it isn't on the list on the jos website.. Just wondering, can demons have names that are off the lists?
For example, Vordak xD

you need to do some serious aura cleaning and you need to make sure that no angels are around-they can really fuck things up for anyone. yes demons can have names that aren't on the jos list. more than likly the demon is trying to help you. one way to restart trust is t remeber the good times you had before this all happened and just start asking Father to help you return to those times- i know that this will sound christian but take a leap of faith with Father- he'll catch you if you let him.

hail Father Satan

 

[levity_awaits]

Hello Ashley. I read this and felt that I needed to say something, because there's a place in my heart for those that suffer especially if one is one of Father's children. I hope what you are going through does not happen to turn you away from all of this. This entire path is about empowering oneself and making sure that we don't really ever have to feel the way that you do.

Life is never all that simple. There's always going to be obstacles whether they are big obstacles or a few small ones. Getting through them makes us stronger and Father will always be there to give that extra boost of confidence when needed if you desire that from him. You just have to keep your head up and push forward.

Many of us have felt pain throughout our lives no matter what kind of pain it is. It becomes unbearable after a while so we look for some kind of release. A lot of young people your age turn to cutting. I, myself, had done it before. I still have at least one of the scars from it. It's been a long time since I've done it again, but I don't really feel the need to anymore.

My point of all this is that help is here if you need it. There's a lot more people that have dealt with this than you probably know of and I'm sure they'd all be willing to offer advice on the subject. I would hope that you're not just doing it for attention, because some people do that and showing certain people is going to give people the idea that you need to be under someone else's care like in a psych ward. You probably don't want that. I've been there. It's not all that fun and sometimes they try to shove that xian bullshit in your face. There was one place though that encouraged meditation so that was nice, but it was still a xian place.

Anyway, to answer your question about some GD's not being listed on the demons section, yes some aren't on there. This is common. Lesser demons are becoming more known and being assigned to more people. Eventually some of them will get more recognition that they deserve depending on what they help with. Ask yours to help you if you can and don't ever forget that you can go straight to Father. If you need to, pray to him and I don't mean like xians pray. Actually talk to him. He'll hear you and unlike their bogus god, he'll probably do something for you. If you have any other questions or need any other kind of advice, feel free to contact me. My name on Yahoo Messenger is the same on here.

Hail Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Ashley" <arene616@... wrote:

Hi, my name's Ashley..
lately a lot of things have been confusing me..
You know that feeling you get about something, you're 99% sure about it, but then something gets in the way and eludes your mind from that 99% and then you don't know what to believe..

It's hard to fully dedicate my mind and thoughts into anything anymore.. I used to meditate a lot and have more power over things, and more psychic power, and I was closer to Satan than I am now..

Life started to get worse when I stopped... and as these things got worse, my mentality was laid to waste by then. Now it's almost a suicidal type of thing.

For the past few weeks, I've suddenly randomly started to be extremely depressed... and I had to skip school because of it.. then my parents started stressing out about things at home and bills, and it added up.. my best friend started to envy my boyfriend... i get home really late, so with all the stress and depression going on, school work was out of the question, i started skipping classes to cry in a bathroom stall when it got so bad i couldn't even go on, and one day i just started cutting myself.. showed my school counselor, mainly my fault, and my therapist that i was forced to go to, otherwise my mom would have put me into a mental hospital.... and now i fear becoming pink slipped meaning anyone as simple as a school counselor, to a therapist, to a cop can if they suspect anything from my cuts that i may be a threat to myself or someone else, meaning i will have to be in a hospital under someones mercy for three or more weeks ........


I know the negative energy keeps building up but I don't know how to get rid of it and start over.

I don't know how to open my heart and mind up again... for all the stuff that has happened lately, my mentality is completely f*cked.

I know I have a demon, but I don't know much about them....
I don't really even know why he's with me...
I know his name and it isn't on the list on the jos website.. Just wondering, can demons have names that are off the lists?
For example, Vordak xD

 

[Johny_Walker]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Mary" <early.mary@... wrote:

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Ashley" <arene616@ wrote:

Hi, my name's Ashley..
lately a lot of things have been confusing me..
You know that feeling you get about something, you're 99% sure about it, but then something gets in the way and eludes your mind from that 99% and then you don't know what to believe..

It's hard to fully dedicate my mind and thoughts into anything anymore.. I used to meditate a lot and have more power over things, and more psychic power, and I was closer to Satan than I am now..

Life started to get worse when I stopped... and as these things got worse, my mentality was laid to waste by then. Now it's almost a suicidal type of thing.

For the past few weeks, I've suddenly randomly started to be extremely depressed... and I had to skip school because of it.. then my parents started stressing out about things at home and bills, and it added up.. my best friend started to envy my boyfriend... i get home really late, so with all the stress and depression going on, school work was out of the question, i started skipping classes to cry in a bathroom stall when it got so bad i couldn't even go on, and one day i just started cutting myself.. showed my school counselor, mainly my fault, and my therapist that i was forced to go to, otherwise my mom would have put me into a mental hospital.... and now i fear becoming pink slipped meaning anyone as simple as a school counselor, to a therapist, to a cop can if they suspect anything from my cuts that i may be a threat to myself or someone else, meaning i will have to be in a hospital under someones mercy for three or more weeks ........


I know the negative energy keeps building up but I don't know how to get rid of it and start over.

I don't know how to open my heart and mind up again... for all the stuff that has happened lately, my mentality is completely f*cked.

I know I have a demon, but I don't know much about them....
I don't really even know why he's with me...
I know his name and it isn't on the list on the jos website.. Just wondering, can demons have names that are off the lists?
For example, Vordak xD

you need to do some serious aura cleaning and you need to make sure that no angels are around-they can really fuck things up for anyone. yes demons can have names that aren't on the jos list. more than likly the demon is trying to help you. one way to restart trust is t remeber the good times you had before this all happened and just start asking Father to help you return to those times- i know that this will sound christian but take a leap of faith with Father- he'll catch you if you let him.

hail Father Satan

I may be going out on a limb here but bear with me.
You mentioned that things used to be better. Remember those times and here's the important part: figure out what MADE them "better" and do it, relive it, rebuild it, do whatever it is that can get you back to that state. Find out what defined your life back then and make it define who you are now. It's easier said than done but it CAN and WILL be done if you put a little effort and a lot of consistency in it. That's the best advice I can give you at the moment I'm afraid. Also don't resort to "escape" in your case that would be cutting but it can also come in the form of drugs, alcohol or just escaping from reality. No matter how much you run from it real life will still be there to bitch-slap you first chance it gets. The only solution to that problem is to change it by your own power and with every resource available.
May the Demons guide you.

Hail Satan!

 

[Tanner]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Mary" <early.mary@... wrote:

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Ashley" <arene616@ wrote:

Hi, my name's Ashley..
lately a lot of things have been confusing me..
You know that feeling you get about something, you're 99% sure about it, but then something gets in the way and eludes your mind from that 99% and then you don't know what to believe..

It's hard to fully dedicate my mind and thoughts into anything anymore.. I used to meditate a lot and have more power over things, and more psychic power, and I was closer to Satan than I am now..

Life started to get worse when I stopped... and as these things got worse, my mentality was laid to waste by then. Now it's almost a suicidal type of thing.

For the past few weeks, I've suddenly randomly started to be extremely depressed... and I had to skip school because of it.. then my parents started stressing out about things at home and bills, and it added up.. my best friend started to envy my boyfriend... i get home really late, so with all the stress and depression going on, school work was out of the question, i started skipping classes to cry in a bathroom stall when it got so bad i couldn't even go on, and one day i just started cutting myself.. showed my school counselor, mainly my fault, and my therapist that i was forced to go to, otherwise my mom would have put me into a mental hospital.... and now i fear becoming pink slipped meaning anyone as simple as a school counselor, to a therapist, to a cop can if they suspect anything from my cuts that i may be a threat to myself or someone else, meaning i will have to be in a hospital under someones mercy for three or more weeks ........


I know the negative energy keeps building up but I don't know how to get rid of it and start over.

I don't know how to open my heart and mind up again... for all the stuff that has happened lately, my mentality is completely f*cked.

I know I have a demon, but I don't know much about them....
I don't really even know why he's with me...
I know his name and it isn't on the list on the jos website.. Just wondering, can demons have names that are off the lists?
For example, Vordak xD

you need to do some serious aura cleaning and you need to make sure that no angels are around-they can really fuck things up for anyone. yes demons can have names that aren't on the jos list. more than likly the demon is trying to help you. one way to restart trust is t remeber the good times you had before this all happened and just start asking Father to help you return to those times- i know that this will sound christian but take a leap of faith with Father- he'll catch you if you let him.

hail Father Satan

i agree with mary the whole way just say fuck the shit goin on right now and try to get yourself back to the better time just ask father to help return you to them

Hail Father Satan

 

[omgbananas1785]

A lot of people on this website would recommend something like Aura Cleaning or intaking positive energy, but i would suggest really just thinking about life and trying to sort out your thoughts. I understand completely, well idk if its completely, but to some extent i do, I've been extremely depressed lately too. Really it will just hit you one day what you have to do. Meditate on this, think about where your going, what got you here, and how you can change things. Just don't give up yet...things may get better, there's always a chance

Ave Satanas

 

[psychoanamull666]

Hey Ashley,long time no see =p Cutting is an okay outlet...but you want to control that its a quick forming habit.If you know your gaurdian`s name just try talking to him.No ritual or nothing,just ask him for help in your mind or however.For the negative energy,ugh that shit piles on at the start of winter for me dunno why.I know you probably know quite a few meditations but,just try seeing your aura engulfed with light,intense and pure power.