Other #76423 I am horribly arrogant and competitive

[AskSatanOperator]

I have a good friend who has helped me tremendously with her advice. She has a positive spirit, but not in the new-age delusional, xtian-everything's-good way.

Something bad happened recently to her family, and I caught myself feeling good and "righteous" that she couldn't be so positive anymore. But her advice always helped me. She never told me delusional "be happy" bullshit. She gave me strength.

I don't know what to do with myself for thinking like that. I know it's horrible, and I can't understand why it happens.

Is there a meditation or a God ritual to help with my ill-natured personality?

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

Is there a meditation or a God ritual to help with my ill-natured personality?

It is horrendous. I am biased because it is literally the antithesis of everything I am and I represent what you wrote, but it is truly horrendous.

If you want someone who can only give you helpful advice while you are insensitive or aggressive toward this person, get a free account on chatgpt instead of thriving in the suffering of those who love you. It literally makes no sense to rejoice in the failures of others because it means not only that you are not desiring anything more in your life than failures (if you thought about improving and advancing yourself for example, you would be seriously bothered by the general concept of "being in ruins" applied to both yourself and others, you would only be bothered by the concept)...

But it is also creepy because it means that you do not consider yourself capable of achieving anything good beyond the tears of those who love you. But the tears of those who love you are not personal gain. What good are you doing with other people's suffering? How does this benefit you? Standing there enjoying half an hour that the person who has always shown himself to care about you is in serious pain, what did you achieve that was concretely useful?

You literally could have made better use of the half-hour in question for yourself. Then if, in addition to using the half-hour for yourself, you had devoted another half-hour for this friend of yours, you would have shown yourself to be at least a normal living being yourself. You know, you don't live in a world of slaves, nor would you want all your slaves to be slaves. It is truly HAPPIER to find ourselves in mutually supportive situations.

Think for example of our High Priest Hooded Cobra 666. I'm really sure he feels much, much, much happier to be a lovingly supportive as a benevolent leader of his people than he would be if he were the leader of a bullshit Christian sect brainwashing bigots. And that's not my opinion of how I think he feels, that's just the way it is:

I agree, all the investment of my existence, finances, time, energy, thoughts, spirit, everything, is also on the best place I could ever ask for. It has made my existence valid and true. I could never think of anything that was a more high quality endeavor to do than devote everything to the Gods and their people either. Thank you!

 

[Ayleth]

Subconsciously, you compared yourself to her, either wishing to have her trait of helpfulness toward friends or her upbeat, positive energy. Re-read this sermon, pay attention to the envy part: https://ancient-forums.com/threads/about-envy-greed-hate-anger-lust-gluttony.289645/

Do write in a journal and explore how you came to think this way. Be aware that these thoughts may be a form of programming.

There are many Gods you can approach with this: your Guardian Demon, Azazel, Astarte, They know you're sincere.
Your first step was to recognise this, so be patient with yourself and search for a deeper understanding.

 

[Alexandros Iowno [JG]]

You won't die in hell fire for this neither it is "wrong" to feel that. Over plastered positivity can be damaging when life has great challenges of suffering ahead, genuine positivity built upon suffering is not the same one as the "innocent positivity". Point is, people must grow this positivity based on realism and life, not conjured from idealization every single time.