Other #76411 Pleasure from suicidal thoughts

[AskSatanOperator]

Why do I gain pleasure from thoughts of suicide.

I'm not sad or depressed, but perhaps dissatisfied with my life from a lack of human connection. But my social needs are lower than most anyway.

Still, thoughts of suicide and the different ways I'd do it or sacrifice myself for a cause occur in my head on a daily basis. Yet I have no feelings of depression and am a generally optimistic person, despite a certain somber disposition.

I constantly imagine my own death, but I don't know why. Either killing myself or being killed by someone else in battle for the benefit of other's. Yet I'm a mostly peace-loving person.

I am worried I am attracting this violence towards me, as my mind/soul has gotten stronger and stronger, it's gotten easier to do so by accident.

I don't know what sort of karma this is and I don't see it in my chart either.

What is the solution and/or cause?

 

[Power of Justice [JG]]

It could be due to a belief that you have underachieved in your life and a glorious death would somehow make up for that. To at least "do something" or give your life meaning by sacrificing yourself for someone or a cause. If that is the case, it is a misguided belief.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

What is the solution and/or cause?

Try to understand that no, your death will serve no one. And you are MUCH more useful here alive than dead to be literally dead and no longer have influence on the cause. You want to die as if you are useless anyway and so you might as well die, but in a useful way for people so that you can leave having been helpful at least once. But, you've never been a burden and just because of the potential of being here and knowing how things are in this world (Satya) makes it possible for you to do many things and in a continuous way as well. Your life therefore is potentially more useful than your death which is not useful.

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[Epiphany]

Why do I gain pleasure from thoughts of suicide.

I'm not sad or depressed, but perhaps dissatisfied with my life from a lack of human connection. But my social needs are lower than most anyway.

Still, thoughts of suicide and the different ways I'd do it or sacrifice myself for a cause occur in my head on a daily basis. Yet I have no feelings of depression and am a generally optimistic person, despite a certain somber disposition.

I constantly imagine my own death, but I don't know why. Either killing myself or being killed by someone else in battle for the benefit of other's. Yet I'm a mostly peace-loving person.

I am worried I am attracting this violence towards me, as my mind/soul has gotten stronger and stronger, it's gotten easier to do so by accident.

I don't know what sort of karma this is and I don't see it in my chart either.

What is the solution and/or cause?

There is no problem here, this is just an expression of a desire for power and control and meaning. You have no one, so you have no meaning.

Facing death, having control over it and utilizing it as an instrument is a major expression of power and control. Your fantasies of power and control are possibly also stemming from self esteem issues, which tend to go along with isolation and self esteem issues can also stem from a lack of power and control.

Therefore, you're really just having fantasies of achieving self actualization.