As you can tell from the title not a very good thing. Horrible in fact, and I am aware that Ethically you aren't meant to tell someone bad things outright, or at least that is what the Website says in reference to it. Personally I would rather know bluntly to fight against it and be able to program energy directly to be able to fend it off, but I also don't have much hope of the bluntness I'm asking for because of the fact regardless of the fixed nature of the conscious the subconscious has powerful mutability. In a sense one being blunt might be feeding into a matrix/vortex that would end up helping cause it and I sorta get that. After all no one wants to cause the murder of someone else who has done nothing wrong to them: especially a fellow Satanist.
I also would like to know what the heck the True Node is along with the Part/Lot of Fortune and Lilith (Dark Moon) even are and how they relate to someones Natal Chart. I can't find info on the site itself and I've gone to a few other websites but right off the bad I can tell they've bad info. One even acted like Lilith was related to the filthy fucking tetragrammaton and even the jews themselves so I immediately closed out the site.
Due to my lack of understand I don't have the tools to suss out the truth or read between the lines enough to not risk programming myself the wrong way. So IMO better to get the truth from the source than learn bad/wrong info and have to deprogram and reprogram myself the right way.
In general, the True Node showcases one's life purpose/mission in this incarnation; "homicide" might in this case not mean murder but perhaps vigilantism like Luigi Mangione.
This is a very interesting placement, from what I can tell in the context of an SS it would be more of an "assassin" role instead of just criminal behavior, I have no idea about the rest of your chart so I can't judge it very well though. It also depends very heavily upon which house this conjunction is in! This configuration in the 10th house which deals with transformation and authority would hint at high profile assassination, while this configuration in the 1st house would hint at something else.
I can't be 100% sure about Lilith/Dark Moon but from what I've read it's more about "dark femininity"/sexuality. Part of fortune is also a bit complex to explain.
Make sure you check the aspects of the true node and perhaps your Caput Algol placement and aspects too.
I wouldn't instantly assume that it's about assassination or anything homicidal though; your ethics seem to be in the right place.
I'm also new to astrology so I could be throwing blunders, I hope someone more experienced can join in and elaborate on this placement.
Also found a degree of violence (16 degree of Taurus) both in my 5th house and in in my solar return (if I did it right I matched up my Sun to the exact measurements like the site says) in my 8th house. So now also very freaked out.
It's in the 9th house actually, which makes me feel as if you might be right in a very profound way. I felt overjoyed to hear that actually due to my imagination and the knowledge that Witchpower/thought=spiritual power which can mean I utilize it in a positive way rather than just meaning I need to watch out for a bad situation.
I've always been the type to daydream of being a powerful warrior. Nonsensical anime acts of course, as many have due to arrogance and an instable understanding of reality and where real power lays, but I've always love swords, guns, spears, and weapons of war in general. I'm also quite the pyro in the sense I am in love with the idea of magically creating and controlling fire. When it comes to the idea of combat I enjoy the idea of overwhelming force in that I could not be touched. I've a Saturn / Neptune [ Quintile ] and no matter what I imagined I have to say consciously while I may 'want to' do unethical things, I don't. Punishment plays a part of it but it also doesn't feel right when I'm calm and true to myself.
Even against things that have deeply scared me like getting circumcised to the point physical pleasure doesn't happen for me. (I do know about restoration which will aid but I also had the entire root system of my frenulum cut. The doctor ripped out the entire nervous system after splitting me open as a newborn.)
I've had many a daydream of punishing all involved including my foolish parents who didn't protect me over this. However accepting it happened and is ' done and over' makes me accept the fact of I don't wanna send hateful energies to my Mother who actually is sorry for me over it. father was abusive and it's funny cause the chart told me that they would be and not even know it and very true of them. The doctor I sway on because if they are not a jew I feel mixed on it but at the same time they clearly knew what they were doing....
I am for sure someone that wants those who have wronged me to burn in suffering, I can actually become quite joy-filled over it (it's why the idea of laughing during a fight gives me joy), but I also feel that way on behalf of others. I often like being the 'hero', especially for children or anyone helpless. I know that position strongly and I know that for many suffering is a feedback loop in which if someone merely offered kindness and grace that loop might be broken. I just struggle on holding onto that feeling because when it switch into that gear of wanting to help others I notice a lot of energy fades away if I want to apply it do spiritual work like warfare in such.
As a child anytime we would 'play' with 'swords' I took it far more seriously than anyone else. I would throw my all into it and my body seemed to enjoy things on there own. Dexterous actions brought me a sense of satisfaction and pleasure and always have. Balancing myself and jumping 'dangerously' gave me joy. I used to even just for fun practice jumping from a couple stories up. Proud of my body for being able to handle it and knowing how to correctly fall without causing damage (Or at least none I felt or could be registered). Running fast enough I could keep up with bikes even if health issues prevented the ability to do it for long periods of time.
Once I had someone take a swipe at my belly and without even a single thought I sucked in my torso as if on instinct (which is the only way I ever 'fought') and I got accolades from those I was around but it felt sorta meaningless. In my mind I was like "well yeah how else was I gonna dodge it?" I was more so proud that once more it did it on it's own. Like I've always swayed between lighter and heavier armaments and when one time I broke the faster longer stick I was using I was mocked because I was trying to forcefully move something heavier someone was using, but all I did was smile because I thought of the part that broke off as useless because it showed itself when tested. Saying out loud how now I can just move faster before I pressed the assault more. Enjoying how my body moved on it's on as if it already knew what it was doing.
I have a 29th degree of Pisces attached to Neptune (which is in the 1st house no less) for my solar return and I recently quit drug/alcohol addictions that have always called to me all my life (from the moment I first drank as a 17 year old) but it's as if I've no longer wanted to anymore. I even had a dream about having the ability to smoke weed and for the first time I hesitated and told myself no (actually hearing my real wants for once) even though I gave in after a time. It's like my body moves on it's own in those cases as my 'real voice' is pushed aside. Literally the first time ever though. Normally in my dreams I voraciously take whatever is presented if it's there and I never hear my real voice for what it wants. Even when in my waking world I refuse the notion.
It's also funny because the Lilith (Dark Moon) is in Leo on my 8th house , which has my Sun and Mercury as well, AND (literally it's right on that line leaning ever ever so slightly into the 8th) the 7th which is in Pisces that contains both Venus and Mars. So for sure there has to be something there about my deeper sexuality. I actually got teased a lot for being gay and am currently having a sexual upheaval wondering if I am or not giving that I've identified as gay for a while. Part of me even wants one of each but I don't think that's proper. From what I can study from the forums is someone either is or is not homosexual but apart from that I've no idea.
Also just noticed the true node has transited (that's when its directly on-top of or right next to/close the celestial body? I'm pretty sure that's right but I know exact is important so I wanna give the info I'm using) and is directly on-top of my Saturn. My first house is mainly Capricorn with little parts into both Sagittarius, which is were my AC line is, and Aquarius which is were Pluto is Transiting. Yet both my 12th and 2ed house is empty with my 3rd having the Saturn. I also have my 4th and 5th house empty as well.
Was sorta glad in a way to see that neither Sun nor Mercury has any particular death associated with it given it's in the 8th house. I've issues related to other things that I know health wise I need to work on but I currently am using spiritual means. Now that I say that though maybe that is what the Lilith (Dark Moon) is trying to show me that I need to stop being gay? I just really don't know or maybe I do and I'm fighting it.
Also gotta say I was surprised how many spiritually positive aspects and planets I have. I feel as if I just put forth the discipline and self work things will immensely pay off. Even have a 7th degree of Gemini attached to my 6th house which gave me quite a bit of confidence!
It's funny cause between you and some more study I at first lamented my Natal Chart but I'm actually starting to feel overly lucky. The part about having a harder childhood and that the second half of ones life is much better/being a late bloomer also not only feels very true but gives me a lot of hope! A blessed childhood but a rough adult life makes for a much harder combo after all. I don't really have any life skills or a support network due to it but that also means I get the pleasure (I know it is even thought emotionally I don't feel that way yet) of building it up myself. Just thinking about it made me realize that I get a lot more return on investment that way because it also allows for a greater independence later on as well as giving masculine pride.
I guess I just need to look at my trauma pain and life as both experience and a way to steel/improve myself instead of just feeling self-pity. In fact I think by having it, in a sense, will make me a very empathetic person to the plights of others when I become a more realized person.
It's in the 9th house actually, which makes me feel as if you might be right in a very profound way. I felt overjoyed to hear that actually due to my imagination and the knowledge that Witchpower/thought=spiritual power which can mean I utilize it in a positive way rather than just meaning I need to watch out for a bad situation.
I've always been the type to daydream of being a powerful warrior. Nonsensical anime acts of course, as many have due to arrogance and an instable understanding of reality and where real power lays, but I've always love swords, guns, spears, and weapons of war in general. I'm also quite the pyro in the sense I am in love with the idea of magically creating and controlling fire. When it comes to the idea of combat I enjoy the idea of overwhelming force in that I could not be touched. I've a Saturn / Neptune [ Quintile ] and no matter what I imagined I have to say consciously while I may 'want to' do unethical things, I don't. Punishment plays a part of it but it also doesn't feel right when I'm calm and true to myself.
Even against things that have deeply scared me like getting circumcised to the point physical pleasure doesn't happen for me. (I do know about restoration which will aid but I also had the entire root system of my frenulum cut. The doctor ripped out the entire nervous system after splitting me open as a newborn.)
I've had many a daydream of punishing all involved including my foolish parents who didn't protect me over this. However accepting it happened and is ' done and over' makes me accept the fact of I don't wanna send hateful energies to my Mother who actually is sorry for me over it. father was abusive and it's funny cause the chart told me that they would be and not even know it and very true of them. The doctor I sway on because if they are not a jew I feel mixed on it but at the same time they clearly knew what they were doing....
I am for sure someone that wants those who have wronged me to burn in suffering, I can actually become quite joy-filled over it (it's why the idea of laughing during a fight gives me joy), but I also feel that way on behalf of others. I often like being the 'hero', especially for children or anyone helpless. I know that position strongly and I know that for many suffering is a feedback loop in which if someone merely offered kindness and grace that loop might be broken. I just struggle on holding onto that feeling because when it switch into that gear of wanting to help others I notice a lot of energy fades away if I want to apply it do spiritual work like warfare in such.
As a child anytime we would 'play' with 'swords' I took it far more seriously than anyone else. I would throw my all into it and my body seemed to enjoy things on there own. Dexterous actions brought me a sense of satisfaction and pleasure and always have. Balancing myself and jumping 'dangerously' gave me joy. I used to even just for fun practice jumping from a couple stories up. Proud of my body for being able to handle it and knowing how to correctly fall without causing damage (Or at least none I felt or could be registered). Running fast enough I could keep up with bikes even if health issues prevented the ability to do it for long periods of time.
Once I had someone take a swipe at my belly and without even a single thought I sucked in my torso as if on instinct (which is the only way I ever 'fought') and I got accolades from those I was around but it felt sorta meaningless. In my mind I was like "well yeah how else was I gonna dodge it?" I was more so proud that once more it did it on it's own. Like I've always swayed between lighter and heavier armaments and when one time I broke the faster longer stick I was using I was mocked because I was trying to forcefully move something heavier someone was using, but all I did was smile because I thought of the part that broke off as useless because it showed itself when tested. Saying out loud how now I can just move faster before I pressed the assault more. Enjoying how my body moved on it's on as if it already knew what it was doing.
I have a 29th degree of Pisces attached to Neptune (which is in the 1st house no less) for my solar return and I recently quit drug/alcohol addictions that have always called to me all my life (from the moment I first drank as a 17 year old) but it's as if I've no longer wanted to anymore. I even had a dream about having the ability to smoke weed and for the first time I hesitated and told myself no (actually hearing my real wants for once) even though I gave in after a time. It's like my body moves on it's own in those cases as my 'real voice' is pushed aside. Literally the first time ever though. Normally in my dreams I voraciously take whatever is presented if it's there and I never hear my real voice for what it wants. Even when in my waking world I refuse the notion.
It's also funny because the Lilith (Dark Moon) is in Leo on my 8th house , which has my Sun and Mercury as well, AND (literally it's right on that line leaning ever ever so slightly into the 8th) the 7th which is in Pisces that contains both Venus and Mars. So for sure there has to be something there about my deeper sexuality. I actually got teased a lot for being gay and am currently having a sexual upheaval wondering if I am or not giving that I've identified as gay for a while. Part of me even wants one of each but I don't think that's proper. From what I can study from the forums is someone either is or is not homosexual but apart from that I've no idea.
Also just noticed the true node has transited (that's when its directly on-top of or right next to/close the celestial body? I'm pretty sure that's right but I know exact is important so I wanna give the info I'm using) and is directly on-top of my Saturn. My first house is mainly Capricorn with little parts into both Sagittarius, which is were my AC line is, and Aquarius which is were Pluto is Transiting. Yet both my 12th and 2ed house is empty with my 3rd having the Saturn. I also have my 4th and 5th house empty as well.
Was sorta glad in a way to see that neither Sun nor Mercury has any particular death associated with it given it's in the 8th house. I've issues related to other things that I know health wise I need to work on but I currently am using spiritual means. Now that I say that though maybe that is what the Lilith (Dark Moon) is trying to show me that I need to stop being gay? I just really don't know or maybe I do and I'm fighting it.
Also gotta say I was surprised how many spiritually positive aspects and planets I have. I feel as if I just put forth the discipline and self work things will immensely pay off. Even have a 7th degree of Gemini attached to my 6th house which gave me quite a bit of confidence!
It's funny cause between you and some more study I at first lamented my Natal Chart but I'm actually starting to feel overly lucky. The part about having a harder childhood and that the second half of ones life is much better/being a late bloomer also not only feels very true but gives me a lot of hope! A blessed childhood but a rough adult life makes for a much harder combo after all. I don't really have any life skills or a support network due to it but that also means I get the pleasure (I know it is even thought emotionally I don't feel that way yet) of building it up myself. Just thinking about it made me realize that I get a lot more return on investment that way because it also allows for a greater independence later on as well as giving masculine pride.
I guess I just need to look at my trauma pain and life as both experience and a way to steel/improve myself instead of just feeling self-pity. In fact I think by having it, in a sense, will make me a very empathetic person to the plights of others when I become a more hrealized person.
Forgiving yourself lays out the beginning of further personal development. You're spot on with the notion that personal trauma makes people "toughen up" and grant them a better start into adult life and it's reassuring to directly hear it from you. Saturn is youNeptune in 1st house must be very hard to live with.
It's in the 9th house actually, which makes me feel as if you might be right in a very profound way. I felt overjoyed to hear that actually due to my imagination and the knowledge that Witchpower/thought=spiritual power which can mean I utilize it in a positive way rather than just meaning I need to watch out for a bad situation.
I've always been the type to daydream of being a powerful warrior. Nonsensical anime acts of course, as many have due to arrogance and an instable understanding of reality and where real power lays, but I've always love swords, guns, spears, and weapons of war in general. I'm also quite the pyro in the sense I am in love with the idea of magically creating and controlling fire. When it comes to the idea of combat I enjoy the idea of overwhelming force in that I could not be touched. I've a Saturn / Neptune [ Quintile ] and no matter what I imagined I have to say consciously while I may 'want to' do unethical things, I don't. Punishment plays a part of it but it also doesn't feel right when I'm calm and true to myself.
Even against things that have deeply scared me like getting circumcised to the point physical pleasure doesn't happen for me. (I do know about restoration which will aid but I also had the entire root system of my frenulum cut. The doctor ripped out the entire nervous system after splitting me open as a newborn.)
I've had many a daydream of punishing all involved including my foolish parents who didn't protect me over this. However accepting it happened and is ' done and over' makes me accept the fact of I don't wanna send hateful energies to my Mother who actually is sorry for me over it. father was abusive and it's funny cause the chart told me that they would be and not even know it and very true of them. The doctor I sway on because if they are not a jew I feel mixed on it but at the same time they clearly knew what they were doing....
I am for sure someone that wants those who have wronged me to burn in suffering, I can actually become quite joy-filled over it (it's why the idea of laughing during a fight gives me joy), but I also feel that way on behalf of others. I often like being the 'hero', especially for children or anyone helpless. I know that position strongly and I know that for many suffering is a feedback loop in which if someone merely offered kindness and grace that loop might be broken. I just struggle on holding onto that feeling because when it switch into that gear of wanting to help others I notice a lot of energy fades away if I want to apply it do spiritual work like warfare in such.
As a child anytime we would 'play' with 'swords' I took it far more seriously than anyone else. I would throw my all into it and my body seemed to enjoy things on there own. Dexterous actions brought me a sense of satisfaction and pleasure and always have. Balancing myself and jumping 'dangerously' gave me joy. I used to even just for fun practice jumping from a couple stories up. Proud of my body for being able to handle it and knowing how to correctly fall without causing damage (Or at least none I felt or could be registered). Running fast enough I could keep up with bikes even if health issues prevented the ability to do it for long periods of time.
Once I had someone take a swipe at my belly and without even a single thought I sucked in my torso as if on instinct (which is the only way I ever 'fought') and I got accolades from those I was around but it felt sorta meaningless. In my mind I was like "well yeah how else was I gonna dodge it?" I was more so proud that once more it did it on it's own. Like I've always swayed between lighter and heavier armaments and when one time I broke the faster longer stick I was using I was mocked because I was trying to forcefully move something heavier someone was using, but all I did was smile because I thought of the part that broke off as useless because it showed itself when tested. Saying out loud how now I can just move faster before I pressed the assault more. Enjoying how my body moved on it's on as if it already knew what it was doing.
I have a 29th degree of Pisces attached to Neptune (which is in the 1st house no less) for my solar return and I recently quit drug/alcohol addictions that have always called to me all my life (from the moment I first drank as a 17 year old) but it's as if I've no longer wanted to anymore. I even had a dream about having the ability to smoke weed and for the first time I hesitated and told myself no (actually hearing my real wants for once) even though I gave in after a time. It's like my body moves on it's own in those cases as my 'real voice' is pushed aside. Literally the first time ever though. Normally in my dreams I voraciously take whatever is presented if it's there and I never hear my real voice for what it wants. Even when in my waking world I refuse the notion.
It's also funny because the Lilith (Dark Moon) is in Leo on my 8th house , which has my Sun and Mercury as well, AND (literally it's right on that line leaning ever ever so slightly into the 8th) the 7th which is in Pisces that contains both Venus and Mars. So for sure there has to be something there about my deeper sexuality. I actually got teased a lot for being gay and am currently having a sexual upheaval wondering if I am or not giving that I've identified as gay for a while. Part of me even wants one of each but I don't think that's proper. From what I can study from the forums is someone either is or is not homosexual but apart from that I've no idea.
Also just noticed the true node has transited (that's when its directly on-top of or right next to/close the celestial body? I'm pretty sure that's right but I know exact is important so I wanna give the info I'm using) and is directly on-top of my Saturn. My first house is mainly Capricorn with little parts into both Sagittarius, which is were my AC line is, and Aquarius which is were Pluto is Transiting. Yet both my 12th and 2ed house is empty with my 3rd having the Saturn. I also have my 4th and 5th house empty as well.
Was sorta glad in a way to see that neither Sun nor Mercury has any particular death associated with it given it's in the 8th house. I've issues related to other things that I know health wise I need to work on but I currently am using spiritual means. Now that I say that though maybe that is what the Lilith (Dark Moon) is trying to show me that I need to stop being gay? I just really don't know or maybe I do and I'm fighting it.
Also gotta say I was surprised how many spiritually positive aspects and planets I have. I feel as if I just put forth the discipline and self work things will immensely pay off. Even have a 7th degree of Gemini attached to my 6th house which gave me quite a bit of confidence!
It's funny cause between you and some more study I at first lamented my Natal Chart but I'm actually starting to feel overly lucky. The part about having a harder childhood and that the second half of ones life is much better/being a late bloomer also not only feels very true but gives me a lot of hope! A blessed childhood but a rough adult life makes for a much harder combo after all. I don't really have any life skills or a support network due to it but that also means I get the pleasure (I know it is even thought emotionally I don't feel that way yet) of building it up myself. Just thinking about it made me realize that I get a lot more return on investment that way because it also allows for a greater independence later on as well as giving masculine pride.
I guess I just need to look at my trauma pain and life as both experience and a way to steel/improve myself instead of just feeling self-pity. In fact I think by having it, in a sense, will make me a very empathetic person to the plights of others when I become a more realized person.
Forgiving yourself lays out the beginning of further personal development. You're spot on with the notion that personal trauma makes people "toughen up" and grant them a better start into adult life and it's reassuring to directly hear it from you. Saturn is your friend when you embrace your challenges. Being gay is not an issue and as you may know, we fully accept that. The best advice I could give you is to love and accept yourself, embracing your imperfections is part of that. There's no need to pity yourself, you're worthy of love and acceptance! You have your Saturn transiting; it is an amazing opportunity to grow from all of this.
![Karnonnos [JG]](/data/avatars/s/21/21596.jpg?1704756304){kind=avatar}
