It seems, you are fighting against yourself. Hitting rock bottom in life is caused by lack of energies OR the mind programming energies in the wrong way. If you are deeply convinced you do not deserve a good life (possibly from past lives programming), your mind will try to ruin your life accordingly.
We don't know where you live, how long ago you dedicated (if so), etc. so it's difficult to give practical advices.
Sometimes people may lack the strength to stay strong and confront daily life. I know we are supposed to never give up and always stay strong and never bend... etc. But what when a person is unable to stand for a short moment in his/her life ?
So. Is there a place where you can find a fresh spring or source of water to drink, a fountain, not far from your house?
Drink daily a cup of fresh and clean water. This water cleans your worries and you deserve clean and fresh water.
I know this may sound a stupid advice, but you seem desperate. However, water is symbolic for feelings. If you are unable to meditate correctly and too sad, this will help your mind cleaning thoughts. With better thoughts, a job may unexpectedly come to you (provided you look for a job daily - as HPs Lydia said : look for opportunities!).
Each cup of clean water is cleaning your way to a decent life. Say that to yourself while drinking.
Each cup of clean water is adding an ounce of strenght to your mind. Drop by drop. Until eventually, a job will come.
Each cup of clean water is cleaning you.