#431 Disgust against mother

[AskSatanOperator]

I feel disgusted when I am with her and like I'm a disgusting person myself. I am doing my meditations, yoga, breath exercises and God rituals regularly and after calling Goddess Astarte mother I don't want to say mother to her. She is someone who poisons herself eight times a day with cigarettes, she prays five times a day, reads the Quran and prays for me too, someone who is constantly harming me unconsciously in all sorts of ways, and I am tense and irritable around her even for no reason at all.
I don't know how to fix this, before then, as I felt that I was becoming more and more like her, I detached her from my aura and she became mad enough to send me away from home, my father intervened. Then our ties were somehow renewed I think, she is not as cruel to me as before. But just feels disgusting.

 

[Albsy]

https://ancient-forums.com/threads/severing-family-ties.292972/#post-1095286

You can find what you need to do in the thread above.

 

[GoldenxChild1]

A difficult situation as she is your mother and you are her child living at home.

My advice is to do a strong AOP, regular cleaning, and keep up with yoga and meditation (Void Meditation is important here).

Do not be so quick to sever ties with the woman who birthed you and likely loves you very much. Yes, she follows an ignorant, Jewish religion, which causes all sorts of issues.

Nevertheless, you must adapt to your environment as we all must adapt when necessary.

Again, protect yourself with the tools you have. Furthermore, be sure you are not punishing yourself with fabrications of enemy attacks.

 

[SomewhatCoherent]

One option is to use the 5 elements to protect yourself from you family. The challenge is because your mother is blood related to you it can be very hard to fully sever a tie, it more about blocking the negative influences. Using the 5-elements can be intense as they are crazy powerful. The following is a method that I’ve a lot of success with but has cause some burnout when overdone. there was a sermon about it.

https://www.ancient-forums.com/threads/how-to-advance-faster-example-of-cleaning-the-soul.291847/

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To help get the Qi going vibrate the following for 7 sets. This can burnout the vocal cords if done too much, either lower the intensity or the numbers of sets. I like 7 sets for 7 chakras. If you live in a Muslim household you might have to do this silently in your head (it still works just not as well).

https://joyofsatan.org/Tuning.html

Base Chakra: Laum, vibrated as LLAHHH ' UUU ' MMM*
Sacral Chakra: Vaum, vibrated as VAHHH ' UUU ' MMM
Solar Plexus '666' Chakra: Raum, vibrated as RAHHH ' UUU ' MMM**
Heart Chakra: Aum, vibrated as AHHH ' UUU ' MMM
Throat Chakra: Haum, vibrated as HAHHH ' UUU ' MMM
Sixth Chakra: Yaum, vibrated as YYAHHH ' UUU ' MMM
Seventh Chakra: Maum, vibrated as MMAHHH ' UUU ' MMM

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The second part I started out of necessity and the results were better than expected. The basic format is to invoke the 5 elements to protect yourself. Then to evoke the 5-elements to protect your space. If you have your own room (assuming you live with your parents) then the evocation for protecting the room.

First do the invocation, the format is invocation of each element 1 by 1. The element of Aether gets invoked first as an offensive protection. Visualize the element creating a barrier between you and anything that wants to cause you harm physically, mentally or spiritually. Its not just your mom. Try to be explicit in your words and visualizations with some intensity behind it.

Then with the same element invoke it again as a defensive property that builds a connection between yourself and those you wish to commune with physically, mentally, spiritually, this can be the Gods or other people. Again be explicit in your affirmations, visualizations and serenity.

Then the third part invoke the same element again as a neutral property. For myself this is the virtue of the element. Its not being used for anything specifically, rather its about balancing it in body, mind and soul. Trying to get the element to be apart of yourself manifesting its qualities naturally.

These 3 parts are done for each of the elements before moving onto the next element (5 elements x 3 parts). The order I use is Aether → Air → Water → Fire → Earth. Maybe someone will disagree with this order or have a different order for their purposes but its not a random order.

After invoking the 5 elements to protect yourself. Use the same format to protect your space. If its a room then protect your room. If its a house protect the house essentially consecrating your space. The only difference from the invocation and evocations is the visuals/affirmations are geared towards the space.

I found this can cause some serous burnout when overdone, at the same time its help me out a lot. I don’t if it was divinely inspired or it was a an emergency ritual that my subconscious put together. Hopefully this is helpful.

 

[Rroco88]

Aside everything that has been said, I want to point something important. If you are a teenager, or even young adult, it is normal to have these kind of feelings towards your parents. Feelings of disgust, or that you don't want to be near them, or don't belong there, these are all normal at that age due to physical and psychological changes.

Basically your mind and body are preparing you to "fly out of your nest and create your own", therefore you will reject and even feel disgusted by your own family.

Don't worry, this is not a bad thing, this feeling will pass as you grow older, and realise that they are humans too, and have their own problems, traumas, and will learn to love them for who they are.

For now, you can engage in your own hobbies, that you love. This is a time to discover yourself outside of your "nest". So enjoy it fully.

 

[Aquarius]

Aside everything that has been said, I want to point something important. If you are a teenager, or even young adult, it is normal to have these kind of feelings towards your parents. Feelings of disgust, or that you don't want to be near them, or don't belong there, these are all normal at that age due to physical and psychological changes.

Basically your mind and body are preparing you to "fly out of your nest and create your own", therefore you will reject and even feel disgusted by your own family.

Don't worry, this is not a bad thing, this feeling will pass as you grow older, and realise that they are humans too, and have their own problems, traumas, and will learn to love them for who they are.

For now, you can engage in your own hobbies, that you love. This is a time to discover yourself outside of your "nest". So enjoy it fully.

It's not normal to feel disgust. This man has hangups because his mother has not been kind to him.

Op, you should work on this, having hate towards the concept of motherhood is gonna set you up to have problems with women later in life. Remember that it's just your mother that is negative, not the concept of motherhood. Mother Astarte can help you with this, but you need to be able to open up to her and experience the real love of a mother.

 

[NetemPtah]

I believe this has nothing to do with her role of mother. But with her as a being. I do not know your age, but I'd suggest you to start planning your SAFE exit from this house. I believe accepting this environment, if it arises disgust in you, would be emotionally damaging to you, and even to this woman.
Just find a way to leave. Sometimes, the fact we have to stay in a place we do not like it's a lesson that shows us WHY we cannot leave a place which is damaging to us. Sometimes, it's lack of money, or courage, or self-esteem. And that problem may be showing you the way through urge.
As soon as possible, perform money workings to start making money, so you have the possibility to leave and think about your mother. Not always parents, just because are parents, are deserving of love and respect. Before you start hating her and doing damaging things, make money, leave, and reflect in YOUR SAFE place.

 

[Rroco88]

It's not normal to feel disgust. This man has hangups because his mother has not been kind to him.

Op, you should work on this, having hate towards the concept of motherhood is gonna set you up to have problems with women later in life. Remember that it's just your mother that is negative, not the concept of motherhood. Mother Astarte can help you with this, but you need to be able to open up to her and experience the real love of a mother.

Exactly because his mother was not kind to him, it is normal to feel that type of feeling. It is not normal to feel love towards someone who hurt you. You're right generally, in an ideal household, these feelings are not normal towards your parents.

I don't know what the OP had been through, but saying he shouldn't feel the way he feels if he's been through traumatic experiences certainly creates more problems in regulating their emotions rather than helps, as it can cause one to be in a constant battle with their emotions.

Op, that is why, if you have negative feelings towards your parents, it is good to start doing things that make you happy, meditating and focusing on hobbies. This makes one more aware of the world around them and of themselves by simply putting yourself out there.

Making someone more aware also means realizing, with time, that your parents are humans, just like any one of us, they make mistakes, and most parents probably tried their best with what they knew was right. They probably did not know better, but it's good that you do. Change starts with you.

Fighting with your own feelings does not get you anywhere. Feelings are like the wind, they come and go (same with the feelings you have). But through enlightenment and better realization of truth and perspectives of other people (your parents, grandparents and how their lives have been that made them act the way they did), after understanding their behaviors, one can heal better, and become at peace with the past, get rid of hangups and develop themselves healthily, physically, mentally and even emotionally.

 

[AskSatanOperator]

Well, hello. Thank you all for your responses. You've been really helpful.

It's not normal to feel disgust. This man has hangups because his mother has not been kind to him.

Op, you should work on this, having hate towards the concept of motherhood is gonna set you up to have problems with women later in life. Remember that it's just your mother that is negative, not the concept of motherhood. Mother Astarte can help you with this, but you need to be able to open up to her and experience the real love of a mother.

I am a woman but what you said is true. Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable and threatened around other women. But there were more serious problems with my father and I have the same feelings for men. I am never comfortable around other people.
I'm going to start the work of freeing the soul, I hope it will help.

 

[AskSatanOperator]

It's not normal to feel disgust. This man has hangups because his mother has not been kind to him.

Op, you should work on this, having hate towards the concept of motherhood is gonna set you up to have problems with women later in life. Remember that it's just your mother that is negative, not the concept of motherhood. Mother Astarte can help you with this, but you need to be able to open up to her and experience the real love of a mother.

Mr. Aquarius, I realized that I got stuck on a part of the text you wrote and got a little bit off topic... I also want to say that I have no problem with the concept of motherhood. I love motherhood and I want to be a mother in the future. I think I have experienced it with all the animals I have taken care of, with a lot of respect, a lot of love and a lot of patience. Thank you for your reply!