Thanks for the reply and good advice , in fact yesterday I've just started a 40 program days of hatha yoga and Uruz mantra (for now only 9 times plus afirmation, too much persons in my house) , I also combine Ans for self-control , I was very good at meditation some time ago (maybe some one year and a half ago, can't remember well , I've never had a good time perception),anyways , My doubts about me came flushing in when instead of ''Satan'' my mind begone saying ''jewsus'' anytime I've got a look at Father's sigil. I want to be honest I've been identifying with Satan's immage , even maybe ,before I knew Him, my most inner wish is to be rebellious and free like Him, and in total control of myself, wich is not obviously the case. The enemy subjugated me , and in some way fucked my psiche trough a connection they made, most probably meanwhile I was doing sex magick . I know that it was my mistake , that my behaviour brought me down, because I was afraid to fight for Satan and to be a ''fanatic''. I've learnd the hard way that there's really a war out there, it is imperative to me to get up because it seems i don't have any idea for how to safely do RTR's. Anytime I do one I get an attack, and I feel worthless and the only way I can fight effectively is by normal means, internet and pamphlets, occasionally going on youtube and shouting down xtian mouths pushing the seethetruth site link around. Now I've writed down all of this by impulse , don't want to make you lose time.
Thank you for all , and especially for the info on the 22 degree , I'll provide to better my psychological stability and to fulfill better my duties at school.
HAIL SATAN HAIL HAAGENTI
"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan
