Mental self-image and genders

[exarkuun1991]

I've been using Lydia's Saturn Obliteration thing for some time now, which has done wonders for me. As I continue, nearly finished with the final stretch, I realize..I've got a lot of misinformation to get rid of and old thoughts to go through, so..I'm asking for some help in the sense of genders and "seeing one's self."
I'm a guy. I should safely lose some excess fat, trust me, but otherwise I'm not too bad. I don't have any (unfixable) major gripes about myself, and the ones I have are fixable, so..that's not bad at all. Finally started eating a lot more fruit and cutting back on carbs, been feeling better, so in terms of mental self-imaging, I'm not upset with myself. But here's the deal: when I focus on myself and try to "see" myself, such as during the rest period after Hatha yoga..I see a female version of me now. I'm third sex, do with that what you will, so it's not too insane of an idea..except I almost don't see the male of me anymore. That's not to say I want surgery to make me female, but..is such imaging explainable? Normal? I mean she's beautiful, she is a lady version of myself, more or less. If I was her, I know I'd enjoy myself (my body) a lot more, and y'all know what I mean by that..that's my first group of questions, is self-image related to..spiritual sexuality? what..i don't quite know what it is..

secondly, physical genders..so porn's good (bad!) at brainwashing us into thinking certain things and certain ways...I'm trying to undo some of that. but porn is REALLY bad (not good) and one thing that just blows my brain out: hermaphrodites. Herms for short, sometimes futas or futanaris, they have both male and female gender bits at the same time (most of the time, it's a bit nebulous and can mean anything that's some mix of male and female bits, not arguing semantics though)..so what are they? I vaguely remember a post on a Group about those born with both genders are a "physical manifestation of the serpent/Sushumna"..but that's vague. so what are they? can a human safely become one of them, or is it just more pornographic bullshit?

(Here's a joke: I typed "fenders" instead of genders. You may be amused at me. My car's fenders are quite fine)

 

[ed8874]

Hermaphrodite are real but are very rare. Also, the health group is now on the forums too so it would just be better I think to use that one to post stuff

 

[exarkuun1991]

eh, true. but that's good to hear, being on the forums. I've not really linked my accounts (different names, but someone somewhere has figured it out by now)..
still, interesting, thanks for the answer. i might think about it some more. to think, fully working gender parts of both (reproductive) genders..
interesting.