yule fool

[Corinne]

Damn me! damn my ignorance and selfishness! I have been having a very intense couple of weeks and now everyone's celebrating and im looking around finding out what all the hubbub is about. now that ive figured it out i feel like i want to stab myself with a fork! how could i sit here wanting to be a satanist and not remember these days?! when i first discovered the site i read nearly %100 of all links, pages and what not but forgot these days were special. what can i do? make it up to him? i feel like a selfish prick, someone tell me what i can do, or at least make it up to him. i can almost feel the disappointment, like a weight on my shoulders. i feel like i should just crawl under a rock and die, i feel so selfish.

 

[chalchiuhnenetzin]

First of all, quit beating yourself up! No more of this "damn me!" stuff, OK? You're still a newbie for one thing and there's an enormous amount of information you still have to learn. Even those of us who have been doing it for years are still nowhere close to knowing all we need to know; it's a long path, far from easy, and takes a lot of work and study. Knowledge and the ability to put it to "perfect" practical use comes over time.

When it comes to holidays/sacred days, I'm not the best of the lot either. Never have been and it's an effort for me because I'm just not into celebrations for the most part. I find if I keep things small and light I do better; the grand gesture is great but we can't all do it and we can't always do it.

Look at it this way: you've gained some knowledge about Yuletide this year, now as it draws nearer in 2011, you can actually plan what you want to do ahead of time. Same for the other sacred days.

Just take things as they come and you will soon notice a progression and that you are steadily learning and growing. If you make a mistake from time to time, so be it. This isn't xianity; we learn a tremendous amount by doing then we can build on that and also learn not to repeat the mistakes.

Here's an example from my own experience: Know how I learned to do the Mer-Ka-Ba Meditation? I had to do it with the written instructions/illustrations on my lap which definitely broke concentration. Nevertheless it worked [I could feel and see it, even then] although it was nothing compared with what it does once memorized and done properly. It just illustrates that sometimes we have to take baby steps first in some things.

Hope that helped a little.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Corinne" <corinneransbottom@... wrote:

Damn me! damn my ignorance and selfishness! I have been having a very intense couple of weeks and now everyone's celebrating and im looking around finding out what all the hubbub is about. now that ive figured it out i feel like i want to stab myself with a fork! how could i sit here wanting to be a satanist and not remember these days?! when i first discovered the site i read nearly %100 of all links, pages and what not but forgot these days were special. what can i do? make it up to him? i feel like a selfish prick, someone tell me what i can do, or at least make it up to him. i can almost feel the disappointment, like a weight on my shoulders. i feel like i should just crawl under a rock and die, i feel so selfish.

 

[blackkat_411]

Hail Satan! and may he send you darkest blessings, i felt like this when i was newer and still amne after a year and some, so please never , NEVER, think this way, satan would want you to just keep learning and getting stronger, we cannot walk before learn to crawl as babies, same with knowledge, stay with it and more will come.
--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Corinne" <corinneransbottom@... wrote:

Damn me! damn my ignorance and selfishness! I have been having a very intense couple of weeks and now everyone's celebrating and im looking around finding out what all the hubbub is about. now that ive figured it out i feel like i want to stab myself with a fork! how could i sit here wanting to be a satanist and not remember these days?! when i first discovered the site i read nearly %100 of all links, pages and what not but forgot these days were special. what can i do? make it up to him? i feel like a selfish prick, someone tell me what i can do, or at least make it up to him. i can almost feel the disappointment, like a weight on my shoulders. i feel like i should just crawl under a rock and die, i feel so selfish.

 

[Corinne]

baby steps indeed. i cried until i gave myself a headache. i felt so selfish because my life is a shitstorm right now, and i feel like i couldn't give 2 days out of my life to do something for someone else because i was being a selfish bitch. my boyfriend said the same thing about taking baby steps and learning from my mistakes and what not, which helped, but i still feel bad. out of this came determination and candle hunting. i will do better, but taking baby steps is a hard thing for me to do because i expect myself to do everything perfectly the first time which is almost always a fail.i know i cant *poof* perfection, because baby steps are required, but i beat myself up if what i do isn't perfect. its nice to have people support me when i need help, or tell me to shut the hell up lol. its like a blanket of love and peppermint hot chocolate. still trying though, just not for perfection. baby steps...

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "chalchiuhnenetzin" <jaguarcat2002@... wrote:

First of all, quit beating yourself up! No more of this "damn me!" stuff, OK? You're still a newbie for one thing and there's an enormous amount of information you still have to learn. Even those of us who have been doing it for years are still nowhere close to knowing all we need to know; it's a long path, far from easy, and takes a lot of work and study. Knowledge and the ability to put it to "perfect" practical use comes over time.

When it comes to holidays/sacred days, I'm not the best of the lot either. Never have been and it's an effort for me because I'm just not into celebrations for the most part. I find if I keep things small and light I do better; the grand gesture is great but we can't all do it and we can't always do it.

Look at it this way: you've gained some knowledge about Yuletide this year, now as it draws nearer in 2011, you can actually plan what you want to do ahead of time. Same for the other sacred days.

Just take things as they come and you will soon notice a progression and that you are steadily learning and growing. If you make a mistake from time to time, so be it. This isn't xianity; we learn a tremendous amount by doing then we can build on that and also learn not to repeat the mistakes.

Here's an example from my own experience: Know how I learned to do the Mer-Ka-Ba Meditation? I had to do it with the written instructions/illustrations on my lap which definitely broke concentration. Nevertheless it worked [I could feel and see it, even then] although it was nothing compared with what it does once memorized and done properly. It just illustrates that sometimes we have to take baby steps first in some things.

Hope that helped a little.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Corinne" <corinneransbottom@ wrote:

Damn me! damn my ignorance and selfishness! I have been having a very intense couple of weeks and now everyone's celebrating and im looking around finding out what all the hubbub is about. now that ive figured it out i feel like i want to stab myself with a fork! how could i sit here wanting to be a satanist and not remember these days?! when i first discovered the site i read nearly %100 of all links, pages and what not but forgot these days were special. what can i do? make it up to him? i feel like a selfish prick, someone tell me what i can do, or at least make it up to him. i can almost feel the disappointment, like a weight on my shoulders. i feel like i should just crawl under a rock and die, i feel so selfish.

 

[[email protected]]

@ chalchiuhnenetzin: what you wrote to "corinne", however long ago it was, and what it was concerning being different, at this minute,found to be very inspiring. Word for word, just what FATHER wanted me to hear.
Thank you Father Satan for Speaking to me, You are a loving God, and a good friend!!!
HAIL SATAN!!!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: "chalchiuhnenetzin" <jaguarcat2002@... Sender: [email protected] Date: Fri, 24 Dec 2010 06:03:33 -0000To: <[email protected]ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: yule fool
  First of all, quit beating yourself up! No more of this "damn me!" stuff, OK? You're still a newbie for one thing and there's an enormous amount of information you still have to learn. Even those of us who have been doing it for years are still nowhere close to knowing all we need to know; it's a long path, far from easy, and takes a lot of work and study. Knowledge and the ability to put it to "perfect" practical use comes over time.

When it comes to holidays/sacred days, I'm not the best of the lot either. Never have been and it's an effort for me because I'm just not into celebrations for the most part. I find if I keep things small and light I do better; the grand gesture is great but we can't all do it and we can't always do it.

Look at it this way: you've gained some knowledge about Yuletide this year, now as it draws nearer in 2011, you can actually plan what you want to do ahead of time. Same for the other sacred days.

Just take things as they come and you will soon notice a progression and that you are steadily learning and growing. If you make a mistake from time to time, so be it. This isn't xianity; we learn a tremendous amount by doing then we can build on that and also learn not to repeat the mistakes.

Here's an example from my own experience: Know how I learned to do the Mer-Ka-Ba Meditation? I had to do it with the written instructions/illustrations on my lap which definitely broke concentration. Nevertheless it worked [I could feel and see it, even then] although it was nothing compared with what it does once memorized and done properly. It just illustrates that sometimes we have to take baby steps first in some things.

Hope that helped a little.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Corinne" <corinneransbottom@... wrote:

Damn me! damn my ignorance and selfishness! I have been having a very intense couple of weeks and now everyone's celebrating and im looking around finding out what all the hubbub is about. now that ive figured it out i feel like i want to stab myself with a fork! how could i sit here wanting to be a satanist and not remember these days?! when i first discovered the site i read nearly %100 of all links, pages and what not but forgot these days were special. what can i do? make it up to him? i feel like a selfish prick, someone tell me what i can do, or at least make it up to him. i can almost feel the disappointment, like a weight on my shoulders. i feel like i should just crawl under a rock and die, i feel so selfish.

 

[chalchiuhnenetzin]

Thank you. I'm glad you found it helpful.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], eremoslukos8@... wrote:

@ chalchiuhnenetzin: what you wrote to "corinne", however long ago it was, and what it was concerning being different, at this minute,found to be very inspiring. Word for word, just what FATHER wanted me to hear.
Thank you Father Satan for Speaking to me, You are a loving God, and a good friend!!!
HAIL SATAN!!!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

-----Original Message-----
From: "chalchiuhnenetzin" <jaguarcat2002@...
Sender: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Fri, 24 Dec 2010 06:03:33
To: <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Reply-To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: yule fool

First of all, quit beating yourself up! No more of this "damn me!" stuff, OK? You're still a newbie for one thing and there's an enormous amount of information you still have to learn. Even those of us who have been doing it for years are still nowhere close to knowing all we need to know; it's a long path, far from easy, and takes a lot of work and study. Knowledge and the ability to put it to "perfect" practical use comes over time.

When it comes to holidays/sacred days, I'm not the best of the lot either. Never have been and it's an effort for me because I'm just not into celebrations for the most part. I find if I keep things small and light I do better; the grand gesture is great but we can't all do it and we can't always do it.

Look at it this way: you've gained some knowledge about Yuletide this year, now as it draws nearer in 2011, you can actually plan what you want to do ahead of time. Same for the other sacred days.

Just take things as they come and you will soon notice a progression and that you are steadily learning and growing. If you make a mistake from time to time, so be it. This isn't xianity; we learn a tremendous amount by doing then we can build on that and also learn not to repeat the mistakes.

Here's an example from my own experience: Know how I learned to do the Mer-Ka-Ba Meditation? I had to do it with the written instructions/illustrations on my lap which definitely broke concentration. Nevertheless it worked [I could feel and see it, even then] although it was nothing compared with what it does once memorized and done properly. It just illustrates that sometimes we have to take baby steps first in some things.

Hope that helped a little.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Corinne" <corinneransbottom@ wrote:

Damn me! damn my ignorance and selfishness! I have been having a very intense couple of weeks and now everyone's celebrating and im looking around finding out what all the hubbub is about. now that ive figured it out i feel like i want to stab myself with a fork! how could i sit here wanting to be a satanist and not remember these days?! when i first discovered the site i read nearly %100 of all links, pages and what not but forgot these days were special. what can i do? make it up to him? i feel like a selfish prick, someone tell me what i can do, or at least make it up to him. i can almost feel the disappointment, like a weight on my shoulders. i feel like i should just crawl under a rock and die, i feel so selfish.

 

[morticia]

just wishing ev one a belated Satan's Day-i chose to call it that.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "chalchiuhnenetzin" <jaguarcat2002@... wrote:

Thank you. I'm glad you found it helpful.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], eremoslukos8@ wrote:

@ chalchiuhnenetzin: what you wrote to "corinne", however long ago it was, and what it was concerning being different, at this minute,found to be very inspiring. Word for word, just what FATHER wanted me to hear.
Thank you Father Satan for Speaking to me, You are a loving God, and a good friend!!!
HAIL SATAN!!!

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

-----Original Message-----
From: "chalchiuhnenetzin" <jaguarcat2002@
Sender: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Fri, 24 Dec 2010 06:03:33
To: <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Reply-To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: yule fool

First of all, quit beating yourself up! No more of this "damn me!" stuff, OK? You're still a newbie for one thing and there's an enormous amount of information you still have to learn. Even those of us who have been doing it for years are still nowhere close to knowing all we need to know; it's a long path, far from easy, and takes a lot of work and study. Knowledge and the ability to put it to "perfect" practical use comes over time.

When it comes to holidays/sacred days, I'm not the best of the lot either. Never have been and it's an effort for me because I'm just not into celebrations for the most part. I find if I keep things small and light I do better; the grand gesture is great but we can't all do it and we can't always do it.

Look at it this way: you've gained some knowledge about Yuletide this year, now as it draws nearer in 2011, you can actually plan what you want to do ahead of time. Same for the other sacred days.

Just take things as they come and you will soon notice a progression and that you are steadily learning and growing. If you make a mistake from time to time, so be it. This isn't xianity; we learn a tremendous amount by doing then we can build on that and also learn not to repeat the mistakes.

Here's an example from my own experience: Know how I learned to do the Mer-Ka-Ba Meditation? I had to do it with the written instructions/illustrations on my lap which definitely broke concentration. Nevertheless it worked [I could feel and see it, even then] although it was nothing compared with what it does once memorized and done properly. It just illustrates that sometimes we have to take baby steps first in some things.

Hope that helped a little.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Corinne" <corinneransbottom@ wrote:

Damn me! damn my ignorance and selfishness! I have been having a very intense couple of weeks and now everyone's celebrating and im looking around finding out what all the hubbub is about. now that ive figured it out i feel like i want to stab myself with a fork! how could i sit here wanting to be a satanist and not remember these days?! when i first discovered the site i read nearly %100 of all links, pages and what not but forgot these days were special. what can i do? make it up to him? i feel like a selfish prick, someone tell me what i can do, or at least make it up to him. i can almost feel the disappointment, like a weight on my shoulders. i feel like i should just crawl under a rock and die, i feel so selfish.