Satanic Path
Active member
I don't care about beauty standards, and I do not believe in them at all.
Yes, I do care about my appearence whenever I see a beautiful boy, and I still look at handsome men how it is natural to do.
Last week at the airport there was this handsome, incredible italian soldier in his sexy uniform that had me wanting to rip off my own clothes. That beauty, strongness and power attracts me.
Maybe because that's what I want to be, like Him.
But I don't seek for perfection yet.
There were so many boys that people told to be ugly, but who I'd have really liked in my bed.
Indeed, to me people like Hitler are handsome. He may not be perfect to this society's standards, especially for how He gets slandered, but to me He's just a great, unique man.
When it comes to an Incubo, even if He is obviously perfect, handsome, all of that.
I've never really liked those those toxic models for which men must have extreme muscels, thiny waist and sharp jaw.
But The Gods' beauty is so beyond that it will never be mediocre. That is not even possible.
Of course there are "ugly people", but still they can become the way they want if they have physical issues like mine.
I have this jaw who slightly grows faster than my palate, but most of the people can't notice that, if they are not doctors.
Of course I was bullied at school for this: there was this mudslim teen ( which I'll kill or destroy following my crazy, mad imagination) and he has always been pointing out to his friends my jaw. Once I was walking by, and what he said will never be forgotten: "Here comes another specimen of faggot."
Like I were shit. Yes, we gays are a whole different species, sounds right. Literal shit. Then, obviously, so typical of me, I responded: "Go blow yourself with all your fellow mates".
That was my first time raising my head.
And finding out HATRED. One of my most sacred feelings, after love.
But I never became obsessed by my jaw, nor I became anorexic when I was told my legs and butt were too big.
What can I do if you envy me for the butt your slutty-god-accepted-because-she-straight girlfriend will never have?
Of course, I'll heal my jaw, make it very less prominent, round because if I follow my bones'structure, that's what I see. It's just a problem of fat, actually.
But my chin's bone really needs biokinesis, because as long as by body growth happens it can also worsen.
But healing my jaw to doctors means I have to have a part of it totally surgically removed to shorten it. Typical jewish.
Of course, they do not know about Magick.
Of course, If I reach Godhood I'll walk in unlimited beauty.
But there's only one thing I want to change in the near future.
My soul is deep, my soul is dark, my soul is fury and art, cruelty and joy... My eyes, they should change drastically, in a way that a xian priest would describe as "Scary, Demonic, Orrible" but that I see as "Beautiful", and "different" beauty is always demonised.
I'm into that kind of eyes, since I was a baby.
People were scared by such "diversity", I was totally in love with it.
Horror movies fucked up their mind, so that White= Good and Black/Not white= Evil.
Don't get me wrong, I really love my chocolate eyes, they're not small, they're deep and sometimes can seem even darker.
But I'd like my feelings and my soul to be shown in the eyes in a deeper way.
A totally black sclera, and a bright amber in the Iris: dark around, but gold in the core.
I feel like amber is my color and talks about the intensity of my loving and feelings, which are fire.
The color Amber brings me Joy, and makes me think of Paimon for some strange reason.
And the black all around is my soul and personality.
To find the sweet in me one has to dive in, then go down.
That's what I feel I am. My fool family just sees my darkness, not the amber I hide within me. Guess only few can see it.
And my art, my whole art is like that: darkness with a heart of amber.
I'll define myself as an "Artistic soul", and we tend to oftentimes be "mad", in a good way (to me).
Not like the artists/singers who do drugs, drink and feel cool about it. Not like the typcal actor or writer with depression, schizophrenia and anxiety, many other unnatural disorders.
I don't see "healthy madness" like that.
Madness is nedded by everyone, or life can turn boring.
I'm 18 years old... Yet I still would do crazy things when out with my friends.
I cursed god in front of nuns, I did pranks, I wore terrible slippers at school, threw my cigarettes and spit at a church's door in front of old ladies, I pretended to be russian with my class' sub and started doing a lesson about a made out, crazy but very realistic language.
Then I would also filp over the cross at school, in the end I threw it out of the window as a teacher was passing by.
After school, I found that "poor jesus" was shattered by the cars. I casually found his shitty head and had a crazy laugh in the street. Everyone looked at me.
Once I even called on the phone a "therapist who healed gay people" and we had a long, surreal conversation where I literally told him: " I have a huge dildo stuck there. Why does it feel so fantastic?"
I pretended to have little seizures and bad tics to stop the teacher from telling that as it was halloween, we nedeed to watch out at our cats.... Obviously because evil satanists would have murdered them.
The principal has never punished me. (Take that, bitch!)
The way I love and am is like that, my smile is, my personality is. And many people loved and still love me for this.
They can talk me about Literature and politics and then a moment later we have a laugh. I am serious when things are serious, or I wouldn't have been doing RTR's and other things that real people do.
I'm smart enough to understand that If I do such thing to my eyes in this current world my life will be impossible.
I could also use energy to suddenly change my eyes' color, only for rituals, summonings, whenever I feel like and I'm alone.
It's not only the eyes, but even my clothes, I'd like them to talk about me: long, dark or bloody red, hooded tunics.
That's how I'll dress in my rituals.
So I wait, and I'll ask Satan about it.
I'm not in a rush, as my dark brown eyes are nice to me, and they're definitely my eyes, currently. Maybe, as magick has no limits, I can find a way to switch the colors when I need it, just by thinking of it.
What do you think?
Thanks for listening to me. Hope I imparted you some of my madness, it suits everyone.
Maybe you're not like that or have a totally diffrent approach to life... But try once to feel your crazy voice.
My Natal Chart says it: I have this desire of being many things, and not to limitate myself into one only box.
Jewish doctors call it Personality Disorder, I call it Myself. If you eat pasta, to their eyes you surely are schizophrenic. If you are into colors and art on your face, then cut your dick off because pink is for girls
Truth is: I stick it up to their asses.
Hail Satan!
Yes, I do care about my appearence whenever I see a beautiful boy, and I still look at handsome men how it is natural to do.
Last week at the airport there was this handsome, incredible italian soldier in his sexy uniform that had me wanting to rip off my own clothes. That beauty, strongness and power attracts me.
Maybe because that's what I want to be, like Him.
But I don't seek for perfection yet.
There were so many boys that people told to be ugly, but who I'd have really liked in my bed.
Indeed, to me people like Hitler are handsome. He may not be perfect to this society's standards, especially for how He gets slandered, but to me He's just a great, unique man.
When it comes to an Incubo, even if He is obviously perfect, handsome, all of that.
I've never really liked those those toxic models for which men must have extreme muscels, thiny waist and sharp jaw.
But The Gods' beauty is so beyond that it will never be mediocre. That is not even possible.
Of course there are "ugly people", but still they can become the way they want if they have physical issues like mine.
I have this jaw who slightly grows faster than my palate, but most of the people can't notice that, if they are not doctors.
Of course I was bullied at school for this: there was this mudslim teen ( which I'll kill or destroy following my crazy, mad imagination) and he has always been pointing out to his friends my jaw. Once I was walking by, and what he said will never be forgotten: "Here comes another specimen of faggot."
Like I were shit. Yes, we gays are a whole different species, sounds right. Literal shit. Then, obviously, so typical of me, I responded: "Go blow yourself with all your fellow mates".
That was my first time raising my head.
And finding out HATRED. One of my most sacred feelings, after love.
But I never became obsessed by my jaw, nor I became anorexic when I was told my legs and butt were too big.
What can I do if you envy me for the butt your slutty-god-accepted-because-she-straight girlfriend will never have?
Of course, I'll heal my jaw, make it very less prominent, round because if I follow my bones'structure, that's what I see. It's just a problem of fat, actually.
But my chin's bone really needs biokinesis, because as long as by body growth happens it can also worsen.
But healing my jaw to doctors means I have to have a part of it totally surgically removed to shorten it. Typical jewish.
Of course, they do not know about Magick.
Of course, If I reach Godhood I'll walk in unlimited beauty.
But there's only one thing I want to change in the near future.
My soul is deep, my soul is dark, my soul is fury and art, cruelty and joy... My eyes, they should change drastically, in a way that a xian priest would describe as "Scary, Demonic, Orrible" but that I see as "Beautiful", and "different" beauty is always demonised.
I'm into that kind of eyes, since I was a baby.
People were scared by such "diversity", I was totally in love with it.
Horror movies fucked up their mind, so that White= Good and Black/Not white= Evil.
Don't get me wrong, I really love my chocolate eyes, they're not small, they're deep and sometimes can seem even darker.
But I'd like my feelings and my soul to be shown in the eyes in a deeper way.
A totally black sclera, and a bright amber in the Iris: dark around, but gold in the core.
I feel like amber is my color and talks about the intensity of my loving and feelings, which are fire.
The color Amber brings me Joy, and makes me think of Paimon for some strange reason.
And the black all around is my soul and personality.
To find the sweet in me one has to dive in, then go down.
That's what I feel I am. My fool family just sees my darkness, not the amber I hide within me. Guess only few can see it.
And my art, my whole art is like that: darkness with a heart of amber.
I'll define myself as an "Artistic soul", and we tend to oftentimes be "mad", in a good way (to me).
Not like the artists/singers who do drugs, drink and feel cool about it. Not like the typcal actor or writer with depression, schizophrenia and anxiety, many other unnatural disorders.
I don't see "healthy madness" like that.
Madness is nedded by everyone, or life can turn boring.
I'm 18 years old... Yet I still would do crazy things when out with my friends.
I cursed god in front of nuns, I did pranks, I wore terrible slippers at school, threw my cigarettes and spit at a church's door in front of old ladies, I pretended to be russian with my class' sub and started doing a lesson about a made out, crazy but very realistic language.
Then I would also filp over the cross at school, in the end I threw it out of the window as a teacher was passing by.
After school, I found that "poor jesus" was shattered by the cars. I casually found his shitty head and had a crazy laugh in the street. Everyone looked at me.
Once I even called on the phone a "therapist who healed gay people" and we had a long, surreal conversation where I literally told him: " I have a huge dildo stuck there. Why does it feel so fantastic?"
I pretended to have little seizures and bad tics to stop the teacher from telling that as it was halloween, we nedeed to watch out at our cats.... Obviously because evil satanists would have murdered them.
The principal has never punished me. (Take that, bitch!)
The way I love and am is like that, my smile is, my personality is. And many people loved and still love me for this.
They can talk me about Literature and politics and then a moment later we have a laugh. I am serious when things are serious, or I wouldn't have been doing RTR's and other things that real people do.
I'm smart enough to understand that If I do such thing to my eyes in this current world my life will be impossible.
I could also use energy to suddenly change my eyes' color, only for rituals, summonings, whenever I feel like and I'm alone.
It's not only the eyes, but even my clothes, I'd like them to talk about me: long, dark or bloody red, hooded tunics.
That's how I'll dress in my rituals.
So I wait, and I'll ask Satan about it.
I'm not in a rush, as my dark brown eyes are nice to me, and they're definitely my eyes, currently. Maybe, as magick has no limits, I can find a way to switch the colors when I need it, just by thinking of it.
What do you think?
Thanks for listening to me. Hope I imparted you some of my madness, it suits everyone.
Maybe you're not like that or have a totally diffrent approach to life... But try once to feel your crazy voice.
My Natal Chart says it: I have this desire of being many things, and not to limitate myself into one only box.
Jewish doctors call it Personality Disorder, I call it Myself. If you eat pasta, to their eyes you surely are schizophrenic. If you are into colors and art on your face, then cut your dick off because pink is for girls
Truth is: I stick it up to their asses.
Hail Satan!