Wanna end it all

[Jihiji12]

Idk what to do anymore. I feel lost and alone as fuck. I loved this girl with all my heart I abandoned all my friends and the gods and spent every last penny i had on her & she looked me in the face and told me she loves me for weeks while she was fucking someone behind my back then sent me pictures and told me I'm nothing to her since she met him. I can't even block her I'd miss her too much she hurt me so bad but I can't let go I feel pathetic because of it. I gave up everything for her even Satanism, I haven't meditated or did an rtr for idk how long. It was long distance & we never met & she was Christian & native American & I'm white & the whole thing was fucked from the start but I tricked myself into thinking she was the one because I'm 20 and so lonely she's the first girl who's ever showed any interest in me & I thought maybe it was okay for some reason & now I can't come back because I betrayed Satan and my GD and my race. I fucked up I feel like everyone hates me I didn't just date her & betray everyone I manipulated her without even realizing and she almost took her life because of me. Do you guys think Satan would take me back... I fucked up bad I know and i miss Satan and meditating and yoga everyday but I feel like he's disgusted by me for what I did. I just want to make things right with her and Satan and every one but I feel like I got too wrapped up in the thought of having a girlfriend and getting laid and fucked everything up to the point of no return I regret everything so much all I can do is cry and if I can't have this & Satan really won't take me back idk I want to die. Do you think what I did is forgivable, will Satan understand and help me or am I just a worthless race traitor to him now

 

[JoS Forum Contributions]

Could it be low self esteem mixed with desire and a willing to compromise when they came together that led to you to this situation.

 

[Levimega]

This is the Bonas Genius, or good Demon: blessed soul that is fullest
of it! And unhappy soul that is empty of it.

when a man desires a woman he is bound as closely as a calf to it's mother.

 

[Dahaarkan]

Let this be a lesson to you never get so invested in someone you've never even met in the flesh. This is a huge mistake and this outcome is to be expected.

A relationship didn't work out I get it, it sucks and you will feel shitty for a while. Just let it go, and stop being so invested in someone who clearly doesn't give a shit about you. It sucks I know, but it's a lost cause. Man up and move on with your life. Do not keep toxic people in your life especially someone who emotionally abuses you.


As for your failure I'm not sure who you think you are. We all fail from time to time you are arrogant and delusional if you think you are so perfect that this won't apply to you. It doesn't matter how hard or how many times you fail as long as you learn from mistakes and genuinely try to make up for them. And it's not like you've committed treason you just got distracted and lazy. Honestly dude no one cares. Learn from your mistakes and start again.

 

[NinRick]

You didn‘t betray Satan nor us. You just stopped with rtrs and meditation thats all, I guess. Just keep moving forward. Pick up RTRs and Meditating again, and make it become a routine like eating.

 

[Jihiji12]

Yea sorry I was drunk and in a dark place. You guys are right tho I had low self esteem and just jumped into something I should have known would never work & made too big a deal it is what it is & she's happy & if I just keep my head up and get my shit done I will be too. Just sucks that I wasted so much time on a fantasy, shit could be so different if I just used my head and honestly I think the fact that I could be so stupid is more why I'm so sad. Thank you for the replies

 

[StraitShot47]

How did you never meet someone, yet somehow you spent all your money and time on them?

This whole situation is fucked, and it'd be better for your mind if you forgot the whole thing and NEVER speak of it again.

 

[FlamingRedRose666]

Re-start meditating and do this: http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Detaching.html

Start out slow and steady.

Father Satan doesn't hate you, make it up by re-starting meditations,yogas and the RTR!

 

[FlamingRedRose666]

Yea sorry I was drunk and in a dark place. You guys are right tho I had low self esteem and just jumped into something I should have known would never work & made too big a deal it is what it is & she's happy & if I just keep my head up and get my shit done I will be too. Just sucks that I wasted so much time on a fantasy, shit could be so different if I just used my head and honestly I think the fact that I could be so stupid is more why I'm so sad. Thank you for the replies

This is a lesson for you, learn from it and move on.

We SS learn from our mistakes, to the point of where we won't make mistakes anymore, that is when we reach the Godhead

 

[Luna Black]

I dream of a day when people will not write a variation of "wanna end it all" as title whenever they are asking for advices...

 

[Dypet Rod]

I dream of a day when people will not write a variation of "wanna end it all" as title whenever they are asking for advices...

Most of the time, if not to say always, this is a desperate ask for help, a way in which a person is seeking to make sure that they will be heard and get the help they are asking for. It's pretty much a way of saying "please help me", even when the person is not aware of it themselves. It's often up to others to be open and understanding, and seek to pick up on the message the person intends to transmit.

 

[hailourtruegod]

Yea sorry I was drunk and in a dark place. You guys are right tho I had low self esteem and just jumped into something I should have known would never work & made too big a deal it is what it is & she's happy & if I just keep my head up and get my shit done I will be too. Just sucks that I wasted so much time on a fantasy, shit could be so different if I just used my head and honestly I think the fact that I could be so stupid is more why I'm so sad. Thank you for the replies

I highly recommend doing the detachment working. Even in this message it seems like your mind is still hanging on to her. Maybe it's just me but that's the vibe I got. It's a fresh wound so you're still going to be thinking of her and that's understandable but eventually you need to just let it all go and to the point you don't care whether she's happy or not because it's totally irrelevant to your life. It sounds harsh but that's how it actually should be for people who broke up from a such a bad relationship.

Rejoice that you can be unlike the majority of people who go thru hearbreaks and actually move on and meet other ladies (or men) without a problem. But remember to learn from you mistakes as well.

 

[Dahaarkan]

I dream of a day when people will not write a variation of "wanna end it all" as title whenever they are asking for advices...

I dream of a day when people start realizing these posts are total dogshit and don't help them at all. Dunno maybe spend that time cleaning themselves of negativity instead of writing a depressing post that reinforces it...

 

[hailourtruegod]

I dream of a day when people will not write a variation of "wanna end it all" as title whenever they are asking for advices...

I dream of a day when people start realizing these posts are total dogshit and don't help them at all. Dunno maybe spend that time cleaning themselves of negativity instead of writing a depressing post that reinforces it...

I believe people need to vent sometimes but for those who know the truth of real Spirituality they can instead do what you said here and any venting can be taken out in the Final RTR.

 

[Dahaarkan]

How did you never meet someone, yet somehow you spent all your money and time on them?

This is more common than you'd think I've seen this happen more than once. They meet people online and fall in love with the persona they play. It's easy to pretend one is perfect on the internet and a lot of these guys are desperate and throw themselves into these long distance "relationships" that don't go anywhere. Because the other person will eventually just find someone irl and move on.

 

[Luna Black]

I dream of a day when people will not write a variation of "wanna end it all" as title whenever they are asking for advices...

I dream of a day when people start realizing these posts are total dogshit and don't help them at all. Dunno maybe spend that time cleaning themselves of negativity instead of writing a depressing post that reinforces it...

Yeah all they need is deciding to put some order in their life and start working on that daily.

Also to stop asking us what Satan thinks of their particular case and go on and on about the details.
"In the name of god I forgive you of your sins my child" - oh wait that's from xtianity not Satanism.

 

[FlamingRedRose666]

I dream of a day when people will not write a variation of "wanna end it all" as title whenever they are asking for advices...

I dream of a day when people start realizing these posts are total dogshit and don't help them at all. Dunno maybe spend that time cleaning themselves of negativity instead of writing a depressing post that reinforces it...

We're not all the same, somebody's strength is another person's weakness.

Some people require others support before they can start to walk with a head held high, if you refuse to help somebody in need (I'm talking about our comrades), then you are refusing to help one of Father Satan's creation.

Not everyone is as mighty as you or the HP's, we ALL start out somewhere, remember that.

 

[Jihiji12]

You're right this is something I gotta deal with on my own & I'm just attention seeking helping no one. hailourtruegod I am still very attached to her I love her a lot I even tried to still be her friend but she just rubbed salt in the wounds & cut me off anyway I will make some time to do that working. I really did wanna end it over her but I realize that's stupid, that guy is probably gonna do the exact same to her & through satan & hard work I can forget about her & be a lot happier than she'll ever be & one day I'll be the one laughing, she'll always be a heartless twat but I can change. I hope maybe someone else going through heartbreak can see this & realize these things as well I'm sorry I wasted all your time will my cry baby bullshit

 

[Jihiji12]

Straightshot idk man I was lonely & she told me all the things I needed to hear & seemed to be everything I ever wanted in a girl. She was my best friend. You're right tho it was fucked from day one and I should have seen that

 

[JoS Forum Contributions]

In the Name of Billy Idol be excellent to each other and rock on!

 

[StraitShot47]

Straightshot idk man I was lonely & she told me all the things I needed to hear & seemed to be everything I ever wanted in a girl. She was my best friend. You're right tho it was fucked from day one and I should have seen that

I know what happened to you. You can't take those randos who message you on facebook and steam as legitimate. They're liars and thieves. Maybe even jewish.

But why did you fall for it? That's the real question.

Your 20 and your hormones are way outta wack. Since you spent all this time with this person, we can assume your not getting laid. Mageson is right go get laid, find real human action.

If sex is not possible, then masturbate until you're evened out. Of course do the RTRs and meditate.

 

[Jihiji12]

Yea sex isn't an option I've never had sex with anyone & like I said I cut every one she didn't like off. She wasn't some jew scammer she was a good friend of mine for a year before I dated her and she knows me well & vice versa I was even ok with her family and talked to them some times. Thanks for the advice tho I understand. Thank you to everyone its probably dumb & childish love fantasies to all you but it helped me a lot and I appreciate it you didn't have to help at all. I hope it helps others in the future as well

 

[Luna Black]

We're not all the same, somebody's strength is another person's weakness.

Some people require others support before they can start to walk with a head held high, if you refuse to help somebody in need (I'm talking about our comrades), then you are refusing to help one of Father Satan's creation.

Not everyone is as mighty as you or the HP's, we ALL start out somewhere, remember that.

Well as you said people are different. Not everybody is part of the self righteous salvation army crew around here. Being distant can be of more real help to people then jumping in as saviour depending on the situation. As can various other methods. There is even a role in the army that's called drill sergeant his purpose is to help recruits toughen up by shouting at them.

 

[FlamingRedRose666]

We're not all the same, somebody's strength is another person's weakness.

Some people require others support before they can start to walk with a head held high, if you refuse to help somebody in need (I'm talking about our comrades), then you are refusing to help one of Father Satan's creation.

Not everyone is as mighty as you or the HP's, we ALL start out somewhere, remember that.

Well as you said people are different. Not everybody is part of the self righteous salvation army crew around here. Being distant can be of more real help to people then jumping in as saviour depending on the situation. As can various other methods. There is even a role in the army that's called drill sergeant his purpose is to help recruits toughen up by shouting at them.

Yes, I understand, but this isn't the military tho, but I get your point.

 

[Dahaarkan]

We're not all the same, somebody's strength is another person's weakness.

Some people require others support before they can start to walk with a head held high, if you refuse to help somebody in need (I'm talking about our comrades), then you are refusing to help one of Father Satan's creation.

Not everyone is as mighty as you or the HP's, we ALL start out somewhere, remember that.

People need to understand it doesn't matter for how long they cry in a corner no one is going to come and fix their problems for them. They need to man up and take control of their lives. And when they have a negative mentality this needs to be pointed out and should not be encouraged as it is destructive for them.

Writing about how much their life sucks and how they want to kill themselves does not help at all. If anything it helps program them to fail. This thread isn't one of the worst examples I think I've seen some that are like a page long.

 

[FlamingRedRose666]

We're not all the same, somebody's strength is another person's weakness.

Some people require others support before they can start to walk with a head held high, if you refuse to help somebody in need (I'm talking about our comrades), then you are refusing to help one of Father Satan's creation.

Not everyone is as mighty as you or the HP's, we ALL start out somewhere, remember that.

People need to understand it doesn't matter for how long they cry in a corner no one is going to come and fix their problems for them. They need to man up and take control of their lives. And when they have a negative mentality this needs to be pointed out and should not be encouraged as it is destructive for them.

Writing about how much their life sucks and how they want to kill themselves does not help at all. If anything it helps program them to fail. This thread isn't one of the worst examples I think I've seen some that are like a page long.

Yes, you are right, some people need a good slap in the face to snap out of a bad dream they are having.