Maya
Member
When we are experiencing a situation, it is difficult to take a step back from what we are experiencing that very moment. We are full of thoughts and emotions we are not processing and all we can do is to play the "hot potato" game, respond and respond, act and react over and over again.
It's like we are have the leader role is a movie and we are always reacting to what's happening around us.
I decided to talk about some basic things about emotions and thought that starting with anger is the best. Anger is the top of the iceberg.
Anger is a normal human response. It's perfectly fine to feel angry about things that have clearly wronged us. It only becomes a problem when it is felt too intensely, is felt too frequently, or is expressed inappropriately, and this is what this post is about, frequent intense inappropriate anger.
Usually we experience anger when boundaries are crossed, when something/someone threatens us, or is unfair. There are many many reasons and triggers to experience anger but these are the most usual. Be it physical, mental or emotional, when our boundaries are being crossed we want to defend ourselves asap.
There are four styles that anger is expressed. Aggressive (externalised), passive (internalised), passive-aggressive (using indirect actions like sabotage), and assertive (managed and communicated appropriately).
Also, anger explosion did not just come out of nowhere. The sure is a buld up, the explosion outburst, but also the aftermath.
Sure there are some payoffs. Hide emotional pain, get attention, get justice etc. but at what cost? Feeling anger too intensely or frequently places extreme physical strain on the body.
We experience physiological effects like an increased heart rate and blood pressure, rapidly pushing blood to the heart. The body is physically preparing to fight to defend itself or flee from the trigger/danger.
Frequent and intense anger worsens the muscle’s ability to pump blood, which can lead to high blood pressure and subsequent complications (like heart disease, heart attack, stroke, coronary heart disease). Also, digestion and gut can also be affected and disrupted because during anger our body shuts down functions not needed at that time, such as digestion. All this can lead also to a weakened immune system. Imagine a car going as fast as the engine can, full speed, high revs. If I almost never slow down, the engine will break down. Same for the body. It is also a low-frequency emotion and what that entails.
There can also be a social impact, hurting our loved ones, or loss of employment, or incarceration. Anger can create scars in people close to us, especially children. It can make our trusted people to feel unsafe, not able to express themselves fully, always defense mode thinking what they should say or act so that they don't make us mad.
First steps to monitor anger.
Acknowledge the sensitive situations and events associated with anger. Think of and reflect on the most significant and even small ones. Ask yourself why.
Self-awareness on how this problem effects me; my body, thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
Identify the cues occurring in response to the anger event (physical, cognitive, emotional, behavioral).
Talk to someone you trust.
Breathing techniques.
Take a timeout, leave the situation.
Exercise on steam off the energy.
Explore what's underneath.
Many times anger covers other emotions. This happens because the individual maybe is not able at that moment to deal with it. And many times the primary emotion is sadness, which will be discussed next.
It's like we are have the leader role is a movie and we are always reacting to what's happening around us.
I decided to talk about some basic things about emotions and thought that starting with anger is the best. Anger is the top of the iceberg.
Anger is a normal human response. It's perfectly fine to feel angry about things that have clearly wronged us. It only becomes a problem when it is felt too intensely, is felt too frequently, or is expressed inappropriately, and this is what this post is about, frequent intense inappropriate anger.
Usually we experience anger when boundaries are crossed, when something/someone threatens us, or is unfair. There are many many reasons and triggers to experience anger but these are the most usual. Be it physical, mental or emotional, when our boundaries are being crossed we want to defend ourselves asap.
There are four styles that anger is expressed. Aggressive (externalised), passive (internalised), passive-aggressive (using indirect actions like sabotage), and assertive (managed and communicated appropriately).
Also, anger explosion did not just come out of nowhere. The sure is a buld up, the explosion outburst, but also the aftermath.
Sure there are some payoffs. Hide emotional pain, get attention, get justice etc. but at what cost? Feeling anger too intensely or frequently places extreme physical strain on the body.
We experience physiological effects like an increased heart rate and blood pressure, rapidly pushing blood to the heart. The body is physically preparing to fight to defend itself or flee from the trigger/danger.
Frequent and intense anger worsens the muscle’s ability to pump blood, which can lead to high blood pressure and subsequent complications (like heart disease, heart attack, stroke, coronary heart disease). Also, digestion and gut can also be affected and disrupted because during anger our body shuts down functions not needed at that time, such as digestion. All this can lead also to a weakened immune system. Imagine a car going as fast as the engine can, full speed, high revs. If I almost never slow down, the engine will break down. Same for the body. It is also a low-frequency emotion and what that entails.
There can also be a social impact, hurting our loved ones, or loss of employment, or incarceration. Anger can create scars in people close to us, especially children. It can make our trusted people to feel unsafe, not able to express themselves fully, always defense mode thinking what they should say or act so that they don't make us mad.
First steps to monitor anger.
Acknowledge the sensitive situations and events associated with anger. Think of and reflect on the most significant and even small ones. Ask yourself why.
Self-awareness on how this problem effects me; my body, thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
Identify the cues occurring in response to the anger event (physical, cognitive, emotional, behavioral).
Talk to someone you trust.
Breathing techniques.
Take a timeout, leave the situation.
Exercise on steam off the energy.
Explore what's underneath.
Many times anger covers other emotions. This happens because the individual maybe is not able at that moment to deal with it. And many times the primary emotion is sadness, which will be discussed next.
