The Slothz Tales Thread

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3:00 Amz, as I stood in the phones boothz on the Slothz beat. Teley-phone'in the numbers in the book of people who want to be teley-phoned from the phones boothz. Thatz why they leave their numbers in this book in the booth. And informationing them as a Slothz public service annoucementz: "Billy Idolz is Winz, Jooz is lose."

"Hello? Its three Am, who the fuck is phoning me, I am expecting an important call from my feminist sister, Butch Stikes so this better be important!!!!" The voice on the other endz of the phones yelled at me. "Billy Idolz is Winz and Jews is lose." I told her. "Billy idolz is winz?...." She said with a certain tone. "Hey wait a second....Its you that fucking fascist Sloth from the restaurant!!! You better bring back my purse and credit cards you sexist, meater eater!" She screamed loudly. I told her "Feminists are chicks who payz for the datez. That was good chickenz." Then she was about to yell something about something Slothz don't need or care about which was cut short by the blasting of an air horn into the teley receiverz by me. As I hung up all I heard was some screaming :"Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!" and a chicken clucking. Slothz don't like feminists. Bronyz are men who need feminists.

After a couple more hours of the Slothz beat. I mades one last call......"Hello?...Butch is that you?" The voice on the other end said....After a couple of seconds of silence I said: "Noes" and blasted the airz horn into the reciverz. The voice on the other end screamed and I heard bunch of stuff getting knocked over and a chicken clucking. As I hung up I saids: "There's your purse, epic failz warrior."



After thatz I pulled out my Slothz key, humans calls this a Skrewsdriver. And opens the bottom of the phones where the blingz is. And collectz this in my winz sacz. This is why humans call these payz phonez cause they leave the blingz in them to phonez them in the numbers bookz in the booths. After that I met ups with my Slothz brahs! Amonbrahz, Roadbrahz and Fancy Slothz. The Sultans of Slothz. Fancy Slothz is easy to spot he likes to wear Swastika stickers from heads to toes on him. But Slothz like Swastika's and that is Fancy Slothz. "Its time to rollz to winfinity!" As I stated as we jumped in the Slothz mobile. And road offz to our destinations.

But first we hads to leave a flaming bagz of dogs dooz on the door step of this guy:






As we rolled up to the place, I got out of the Slothz mobile and snuck up to the front doorz. And puts the bag of the doos on the front door step. The bell made a loud "Ding Dongs" sound as I rangs it and heard a voice go: "Hel...Helooo?" In the highest pitchz voice I couldz, I said: "Itz me your Princess Fluttershys...I am realz and I likes you...um baby." As the door opened and the dude yelled in ecstasy in a thick Paki accent: "Oh miracles of miracles you are real I knew it!" I ignited the bag and rans. He opened the door in shock at the sight of this and with no shoes started stomping on the flaming doos bag yelling hysterically in a high pitched thick Paki accent. Then he saw us laughing and pointing at hims loudly, and started limping, with a thick band aidz over his phone earz as well, towards our Slothz mobile...yelling in a Paki accent enraged: "You dirty tricking unman! I know its you who have been hate calling me all morning! Give me back my cab now! I still have not forgotten India either! How dare you, sir how dare you!" As we droves off Amonbrahz leaned out the passenger door with a batz and yelled at the turban Brony: " Here's some Friendshipz magic for you, clopping cringe fairy!!" And smashed his My Little Pony mail box to pieces with one strikes of the batz. As the engine of the Slothz mobile roared off we heard him crying loudly at the epic sights of his annihilated mails Brony box. Crying in a Paki accent:" Noooo! Oh my little Pony! You Slothz bastards I had to stay two year in friendzone for this!!!!!!!"


As we rolled downz the highyway to Hellz we turned up the Billy Idolz radio that was playing BIlly Idolz new hit song: Europe didn't get anything from Islamic Arabs.


Then Fancy Slothz noticed by the roadside a guitar case carrying, hitch hiking weed, flagging us down yelling tax. As we rolled up it was this guy:




He opened the doorz and jumped in: "Hey dudes my name is Chuck Lie'bral. But my people call me Cuck." Fancy Slothz said "Oh! look a talking ditch weed, I never met one of these before." and told him: "We can give you a ride back home just points out the ditch you live in and well drop you off there!" "Maybe a talking stink weed?" Amonbrahz said as he leaned over and started spraying Cuck with a airz fresher can. Coughing loudly, Cuck yelled "duudde!....stop it I'am not a ditch weed....I am like a person man!" Roadbrahz looking puzzled stated: "Maybes he is a transitioning weed to female, weedsexual?"

As we started driving off, Cuck opened his guitar case and pulled out the biggest bong on earth and with a dopey smile stated: "Dudes, check' it out, its the Potarded orbital bongoloid model. Did you dudes like know that That's some like shit really means like consciousness in like another language and stuff, its like I take a hull and I am like damn!!! That's some good shit right there. It means like that's some good consciousness. Cause dudes you know like weird, naked brown people in the forest like do this kind of stuff to expand their consciousness to do stuff like squat in the jungle for like ever and sniff stuff. Oh like dudes its totally awesome or what!" Amonbrahz stated: "This Ditch weed smells like some serious consciousness." As he was reaching for the airz fresher can again.

Afterz expanding on his weirdoze, philosophyz of worthlessz Cuck opened up his backpack and pulled out these bagz of stuff and said: "Dudes checks this stuff! This is how I escape from reality I got the different styles labeled on the bags to know what I am up for! This is the brand I call this one Mainstream Media, here is like the other brand: Equality. Dudes its heavy shit man! Oh, wow! Dudes! This brand will your melt your minds forever I dub this one....Hollywood!"

Then Cuck reached deeps into his backpackz and pulled out another bag and stated with stoner glee: "Dudes when I want to get like totally high on my own supply I use this one..."He turned the bag arounds and it said in big letterz:JEWSUS. On the label. Withs a image of a cross.


"oh!" said Fancy Slothz. 'is it not cannibalism for Ditch Weeds to eatz other weeds?"

Then Cuck said loudly and happy: "Dudes you know why this brand is sooooo good? Cause Jewsus was like the first Brony man! Is that not cool. He was totally about friendship magic!"

Amonbrahz looked at Cuck and said: "Jewsus? You mean that emotionally disturbed, dump sniffing, Joo fairy who watches you go to the bathroom, causes hez always watching."

"Jewsus clopped, somehow I am not surprised." Roadbrahz said.

As cuck was playing aroundz trying to litez his Bongoloid device, just as he was about to lite up he saidz: "Lets light up for the Lord!" But dropped his lighter on the floor with a loud "Oy Brony!" He started to look around the floor behind the seat for it. I just looked at myz Slothz Brahz and we nodded and putz our seatz belts on as I speedz ups to two hundreds miles an hour as Cuck was groping around in the dark looking for his litez. Then turning up the Billy Idolz I hitz the brakes and Cuck went head first into the melt platez in the front seat.......

"Awwwoooohhhhh!" Cuck yelled with a thud sound. Then Amonbrahz and Fancy Slothz opened the door and pushed Cuck out. As I droves away Cuck was still holding on the floor boardz screaming loudly as Fancy Slothz stood up and started hitting him in the face with the bongz saying "Bad Ditch Weed go away now!" Cuck just screamed "God damn it dudes I am a human being, awwwwwoooooh stop hitting me, stop it! stop......." Cuck starting coughing as Amonbrahz sprayed him in the face with the airz fresh can. "Awwwwh! I am not a stink weed man! let me back in, I need to get high!" Roadbrahz climbed over and started slamming the door on Cuck's hands which made Cuck screech. "Nothingz is working, the Talking Ditch Weed is too strongz " Roadbrahz yelled at me.

So I toldz him "Breakz the Bongz itz the source of his retardz strength. Then he willz be forced to face his total andz one, weakness.....Realityz." Fancy Slothz threw the Bongz out the door as Cuck screamed and it hit the roads and brokez aparts. "Noooooo!" Cuck screamed as his hands let go and he rolled down the highwayz screaming till he hit a pot hole and flew threw the wind shield of a taxis drove by this guy:




And it crashed into a ditch along the roads sides. "Well looks like Ditch Weed finally mades it home." Fancy Slothz stated as he closed the door on the Slothz mobilez.


And chucking Cuck's backpacks out the windows we drove off threw the night, to the roar of the Slothz mobilez and the soundz of BIlly Idolz.






And that's the Talez Of Ditch Weed Dale!



Epilogue:

It was a cold and stormy night as Rabbi Shekelstien nervously adjusted his kippah on his pointed Jew head. As the rain pounded down upon the Synagogue. Rabbi Shekelstien couldn't shake the feeling of dread he had not felt since the last time he had to spend a shekel somewhere on something. As he wiped the rancid sweat from his grimy brow. And unrolled the giant Torah scroll in front of him. As it unrolled he noticed a large bundle in the center of the scroll. Shocked he slowly unrolled it to his absolute horror to find......A Swastika sticker covered Sloth eating a strip of bacon. Before he could react he heard the loud roar of an engine and the blasting sound of Billy Music filling the Synagogue. He stared in shock as a Cab painted with Swastika's and air brushed Billy Idol icons crashed threw the front doors speeding towards him. Enveloped in the head lights. He just slid down the side of the podium with a look of terror on his already terrifying looking Jew mug, and tried in his last moment to do the one thing a Jew loves to do.....Shit his pants, but not even that was possible.........

"Oyyyyyyyyy Vehhhhhh!" Rabbi Shekelstien yelled as he awoke sitting upright with the smell of fear and bagel gas and sweat as he shoved his claw like Jew hands into his hairy, rancid arm pits. Rocking back and forth in fright like a mad man just muttering one thing and only one thing over and over......."The Goyim know....The Goyim know......The Goyim.....Know!"



And that baby! Is what happens when a Jew reads Slothz Tales!

 

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Slothz Tales: Chub's Crisco

It was a balmy evening as Chub's Crisco also know as Cenk Booger, also know as the "Turd Beast" slouched agitatedly behind the wheel of his car, his sausage like fingers, greasily gripping the leather tightly, on his way home from anchoring his failing show, the Young Turds, he named after a jewish political movement that racially holocausted a million Armenians, helped to start the First War and destroy the Turkish Empire from within to build Israel for their race. Following their Torah they murdered a million Armenians on the statement the Armenians were the People Of Amalek [the White Race] who their race religions tells them must be wiped off the earth.

As Chub's sat stuck in traffic, he angry adjusted the My Little Pony figurines sitting on the top of his dash board as he shoved another doughnut in his large mouth. Stressed out after spending 12 hours straight, screaming that White People don't deserve to live and anyone who states otherwise is a fucking racist, hater. "Fuck!!!!!! How the fuck could this happen! Damn it!" Chub's yelled as he ripped at high level decimal fart into the cracked leather seat of his beat up car. "How the Fuck did Trump get elected!!!! Arguruh! I mean how could White People vote for that fascist too White looking asshole! Especially after we spent all that time ordering them to vote for Hillary! I mean all that time we told them they should just die already because they are the scum of the fucking earth for being White. They still disobey us and go do want they want!!!!!"

As Chub's turned the dilapidated knob of his car radio thought the stations all of a sudden Billy Idol's hit song, White Wedding. Came on, "Ahhhhhh.......Bronay, fuck no!" Chub's yelled as Billy Idol always deeply triggered him. Somehow every station he turned to was playing this same song....."Fuck it already!" Chub's screamed as he tried to turn off the radio to no success, sheiking with hysterical rage he punched the radio till it stopped working. Which didn't take long as the thing was fucking old and cheap.

As Chub's pulled up to the driveway of his house that the neighbours called "The Adam's Family Shack" he rush through the weeds and trash that was his front yard, swearing as he opened the door to his place and charged inward slamming the door behind him. As he rushed to the kitchen hungry after it was only five minutes since he last ate. He swatted at the cockroaches on the kitchen counter as he made a pile of pig slop in his frying pan. As he grabbed the bottle of kosher cooking oil he screamed in anger "Its fucking empty....... I bet those Nazi's did this!" He picked up a dirty cloth off the counter and wiped face into it profusely then taking the now soaked in Chub grease cloth, he wrung the grease into the pan. "Oh yeah! Baby! Chub's got the grease lighting today, heh, heh!" He yelled with joy.

As Chub's flung his fat ass down into his old sofa which stunk like stale farts, he stated to eat, as he turned on the TV and flipped thought channels he became enraged at the Trump coverage of the now President Trump. "Fuckkkkk!! You for not being not White and not a Woman! You orange asshole!" Chub's yelled in rage. Then Chub's shut up almost in a daze as he thought he saw Billy Idol standing next to Trump just for a second on stage and he noted Billy Idol music was playing as Trump stood on stage to give his winning speech. Chub's wiped the sweat off his greasily forehead as the phone rang......As Chub's sat there staring in fear wondering if its the same caller that just phoned him 665 times in the last hour.,..... "Hello" Chub's stated into the receiver...... The voice on the other end stated:

"Thiz is the Slothz telly phone'in service givins you a public service announcements......Billy Idol is winz, jooz is lose!"


Chub's jumped up from his old stank sofa grabbing the phone and yelling with hysterical rage into the phone "This is the 666th time you have fuck'in phoned me to tell me the exact same fucking god damn thing!!!! Stop calling me already you racist!!!! Fuck you and Billy Idol too!!!!!!! Are you going to stop harassing me with this fucking shit, I'm sweat'in butt grease......fuck'in butt grease, over this already so fuck off!!!!"

The voice replied back to Chub's: "Itz a Billy Idol World nowz cause Swastika Awesome wonz and stuff, bitchz."

Chub's screamed in incoherent rage as he threw his phone against the dirt stained wall, sheiking with the butt hurt of the entire brony universe as a brown stain emerged thought his Karl Marx, adult brand diaper. "fuck'in berryshitz" Chubs yelled in anger.

Later that night as Chub's laid in his grease stained bed, covered in food crumbs, as he tossed and turned gripping the sweaty sheets he awoke with fright to the phone next to his smelly bed, ringing. "hellloooo its 3:33 am who....who is calling?" Chubs asked. The voice on the other end spoke in a British accent: "Hey mate, Billy Idol here just telling you to go fuck yourself, and White Power!" Chubs shot up trigged, near hallucinating with rage Chubs tried to yell something but his fat foot landed on his Fluttershy reads the Torah, audio book as he spun out of control his massive rolls acted like a gyroscope effect spinning him around in the air splattering grease all over the walls as Chub's hit the ground. A large brown stain appearing in his Adult diapers.

As Chub's awoke needing a safe space he grabbed the only thing he loved more then his own BO, his blow up doll with Hillary's face taped to it, hugging it as he rocked back and forth crying hysterically like a turd beast Muppet.


Just repeat[/IMG]

 

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Santa's Little Helper's A Yule Slothz Tale


It was a cold day at the North Pole as the four Slothz: Slotho, Amonbrahz the Where wizard , Roadbrahz and Fancy Slothz, arrived at their destination the office of Santa. Were Santa himself was waiting to greet them: "Heil, Heil, Heil, my merry Slothz band. I have brought you all back to the Polar Homeland because I have a dangerous mission this Eve, every letter I get this year from the children of the world, all want one thing for this Yuletide, the wish to end the jew world order. For this we carry a special cargo. Now I warn you four, the goblin's will try and stop this mission. So remember the three things that can defeat the goblin's are fire, water and the swastika. Now I will meet you four at my sleigh soon." Said Santa to the four Slothz. The Slothz replied back: "Hail Santa!" And then went on their Slothz'in way.


The fourth Slothz went on their way as they made their way to Santa's sleigh they walked past the workshop halls filled with Slothz in cool hats, singing Billy Idol songs as they merrily created the new cargo for Santamas morning. Its a little known fact but Slothz are actually from the North Pole, they are also called Elves which means Slothz in another language so whatever.

Later Santa met them and they were off to the stars. As they made their way Amonbrahz pulled out a special package a rock of coal with a special note attached to it. As this was going on the Turban Brony was busy admiring his new Friendship Jesus magic manger set he had just put up as his new mail box. The Turban brony then prayed in a thick paki accent: "Oy Brony, Brony lord jewsus, I beg thee to answer me with a special prayer show me a sign any sign of god of universe!!!" Just as he finished his lame prayer he noted what looked like a green flash heading towards him, shielding himself in panic he ducked as the green flash hit his manger sending it flying apart. As the Turban brony moved towards the wreckage he noted a black coal rock with a note on it......"Oh lard this is the message, thank you oh miracles of miracles!" As he read the note it was just a cartoon doodle of a Slothz smashing his brony stuff with a bat, while flipping him the bird. The Turban brony noted something else on the back was a message that read: Stop beingz a bronzy and Hailz Santa." The Turban brony eyes rolled up backwards as his turban burst in flames with a loud farting sound and smoke came out his ears. "Gooooddddd is Santa........" He said as in shock.......Santaism triggers bronys.

With this he went into a coma like state when he came out of it, he took off what was left of his Fluttershy turban, dedicated to Santa then sat down and meditated, repeating the mantra Santanama. As he did this he felt the epic lameness of bronyism leaving his body forever and he radiated awesome win. With tears streaming down his face he thanked Santa for saving him from the worthlessness of Bronyism.


As the Slothz jumped down on one of the last roofs of the night they knew they had been lucky so far as to be one step ahead of the goblin's as they Slothzed down the chimney with the presents.... They knew the globin's might be near. As they could feel the nasty stink of them in the air.

"Quckz get the presents under the win tree" said Roadbrahz, "ohhh I wonder whats in the eats box humans have in the kitchenz," said Fancy Slothz, "Hey I wonder whatz this chickz venus iz" said AMonbrahz as he looked at the pictures on the mantle over the fire place...... "Wherez is the cookiez and stuff" said Slothzo.....

Just then they heard a noise as the light turned on revealing several globin's standing there.......

"Youuuu Slothz is in trouble now" the lead globin snorted out in thick accent.......


"Why is globinz noses sooo bigz.....cause airs is free and stuff" stated Amonbrahz......

Just as the globin's were about to yell and run in to the attack enraged by Amonbrahz further, the four Slothz picked up the table and yelled "Billy Idolz is winz!" as they threw the table at the goblins and then ran in different directions being chased by the globin's.....


As Fancy Slothz and Roadbrahz ran into the kitchen, Fancy Slothz pulled a coin out......"Qucikz open the door to the heatz grubz box......" As Roadbrahz did this Fancy Slothz rolled the coin down the kitchen hall the globins overcome by their instincts started chasing after the coin instead, as it bounced into the oven, the globins dived into after it, with Roadbrahz jumping out from the cupboard and slamming the door shut and locking it in place..... As the Globin's were fighting over the penny inside till they melted into a puddle of poo like goo.


Meanwhile upstairs one of the globin's chased Amonbrahz into the washroom.....The globin chased inside growling as it looked for Amonbrahz.....The globin was overcome for a second by the view of the toilet a globin's favourite abode and most holy place.....as the globin stated to pray the turd god prayer which is the globin god, in front of their holy shine of the shitter. Amonbrahz jumped out from behind the door and threw the globin into the bathtub hitting it over the head with a bar of soap as the globin fell over Amonbrahz turned on the shower....... The globin yelled out as it melted like the wicked witch of the west in a puddle of poo looking goo. "Dontz forgets to wash behindz your nose, globin" Amonbrahz laughed out.


Meanwhile Slotho ducked behind the corner of the hallway as he quickly pulled out a winz marker and drew the symbol of the swastika on his paw as the globin was about to turn the corner, Slotho jumped out and stuck it on the forehead with his paw....The globin yelled as the swastika ink print formed the holy sign on its forehead the goblin burst into a smelly smoke as it fell over and landed on the top of a lampshade and melted over it leaving it covered in a poo like goo.

The four Slothz met up on the roof with Fancy slothz pockets full of free grubz from the kitchen. As they got onto Santa's sleigh they made they way back home...,,, That morning they sat around the table of Santa's office drinking Hitler ice cream milk shakes.........


While that morning all the children of the world awoke to their presents from Santa under the tree. As they opened them they beheld in wonder that Santa had granted them their wish, to end the jew world order as each child opened the box under the tree to find a total copy of all the reverse torah rituals!

 

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Slothz Tales: Vegvan

Sos we waz sittin's around the table at the eatz place, talk'in about how awesome winz, Hitler stuffz is. And how stinky the jooz is.....

You knows whats the Torahz first line is in heeboobz is? Stated Amonbrahz...

Whatz? Saids, Fancy Slothz and Roadbrahz.....

"Bereshit"...It meanz......In the beginning was shit, Saidz Amonbrahz.....

Pooz people is the jooz. Beryshitz is their mostz holy line in the jooz book....Stated Amonbrahz...

Thatz why the jooz puts their symbols on stuff to showz its jewcy like the berryshit in their Torahz....Stated Amonbrahz

During this convos this weirdos look'in dude walks up with this drinkz that lookz like Swamp thing, tooks a dumps in it, and starts to make noise at us......




Hey unhuman dudes! What's that you all eatin, is that Vegan? Cause if it is you can all rock with me in my van!

Withz that's he pointz to this strange van in the lot that was built to looks like the black cubes the pooz wears on their pointy noggin's.

Oh, thiz is Hilter Ice Cream, its what Slothz like and stuffz, said Fancy Slothz...

"Oh fucking come ON MAN!" ....."Don't you dudes get you should be vegan then you can get in my van....man!"

Yours van is failz, it looks like a pooz cube....stated Amonbrahz....


"Don't hate dude, its like CHOSEN to look that way, man! You dudes need to all get van...ermmmm.... I mean vegan, right now!"

Ummm......noes, we all stated to this creepy weirdoodoo....

"Oy Brony Oy jewcy!!!!" He screamz as the vegvan man grapped the under one pounds, paper marche table and attempted to lifts it up and flip it.

"Ahhhhhhh!!!! I will shoahwaah!!!! You all dudes! the mighty power of the vegvan!!!!!" He screamed as hes face turned redz and his whole body was shakings and hiz like not there muscles was tremblings as he attempts to lifts the paper marche table.....

"I will show you the power, luuuuckkkkyyyy.......dudessss, I drank my jewcy berry vegvan smoothie this morning, AHHHHH!" He gasped outs......

As hes struggles to mustards the strengths all of a sudden this wicked fartz sounds ripped outs of him......And a strange smell.....

"Berryshit, in my pants, ohhhhh G_d, the jewcy effart!" He gasped out as hez collapsed downwards and slumped over the tables....

"See dudes the vegan diet gives you better strength I was able to almost move this table that weights a ton, man! Its got better nutrients for your health, meat and dairy is totally bad for you man!" As hes grabbed his Swamp thing dump drinks, he started coughings his hairs fell off and some of his denturs fellz outs on the tables..... Whichs the vegvan creature started lickin's the denturz and stuff with this reptilianz looking tongue....


<[/IMG]


"Goys......ermmm GUYS! You Need to go vegvan like right now dudes!"

Herrrs eatz this we gotz this for yous from the chiefs its vegans and stuff..... Amonbrahz said as hes handed hims a bacon cheesburgz....

"Oh wow thanks dudes, see you can eat all kinds of cool things that would be jewcy forberry-bidden, in the Tor....urm....ah, AHA! This vegan bacon burger tastes totally great dudes!" As the freakz munchkin's it downz...... Whens it was finished eating itz....... Amonbrahz tolds the truths that's is not vegan and there anit no vegan grubz on this menu....


"OY BRONY........AHHHHH!!!!!" It startz screaming all kinds of heeboobz sounding jooberryshits...ish.... Thens we all grabs the tables and yelled Billy Idolz Is Winz!!!! As we rams it into his legs and watchs as he fell downs thoughs the table and lands face firsts into the floors.....knocking it unconscious and stuffz....

As we rans outside we surronds the vegvans and Amonbrahz pulled out the batz of winz and started bashings outs all the windowis in the cubes vegvans as Fancy Slothz lets the airs out of the tires and stuff and Roadbrahz took a piss on the steering wheels...

As they dids this I summonded the Hooganz........

"Slothz, Brothers.....Fuck this vegvan, jewrcy berryshit, watcha you going to do vegvan, watcha going to do when Hitler mania! Runs wild all over jewcy jooz!"

<[/IMG]


The Hulks lifted the vevgan doodoo cube up into the airs and threws it far into the sky as it hits the grounds explodings into millions of doo bits......


And that's is the Talez of the Vegvans......


Addendum

As the vegvan creature awoke in its full vegan form he howled in rage at the loss of the vegvan doo cube...


<[/IMG]



Which caused the villagers to notice and chase the creature through the night with pitchforks and torches.


<[/IMG]


Were it was chased back to its yeshiva.........

 

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The Slothz Tale world, will be catalogued on this thread.



Slothz Tales: Big City Datez




So after putting on the internet works better hat, the hat Slothz wear to go on the internet cause it makes it work better. I went on Tumblr to find dating sitez and found this Feminist dating site, I knew I was there when all the guys had My Little Pony avatars cause they need feminism. After inquiring I hooked up with this chick called: "Puff the Patriarchy" it was either that or "I hate you daddy for not buying me a pony." Something like that, you know whatever....


Anyway so I arranged to meet her for a datez in the big city. So I hailed this cab and as I got in it I looked and found it was being driven by this guy.....




As he started driving he put on a track called "The Brony Hitz" after about five minutes I had enough, because Slothz don't like such. So I told him to pull over, then acting with surprise I stated "wow look at that Brony Con going on in that place..." Before I knew it he was out of the cab and vanished towards the random building I pointed at......So I jumped in the driver seat and drove off....Cause why not. As I drove off I chucked his cd out the window. And put on the Billy Idolz on the radioz. Slothz drive better to Billy Idolz.


After a few blocks of driving on things like the sidewalk, in the middle of the road, lanes where humans were going in the opposite direction to me. You know humans can't drive. The cab cell rings so I liked hit the speaker buttonz. And this dude was like yelling in a Paki accent "YOu.....bad, bad, not man. How dare you steal my cab and trick me so bad. Stop now and bring cab back NOW!" So I said to the guy: " Ummm.......like No and stuff." After he ranted for awhile I told him "I will give you a tip....stop being a brony." And I hung up on him. Anyway so I finally got to this datez place.



As I was sitting at the table the chick came up and sat downz. She kind of looked like this....





And asked how I got here I told her I took a cab, and I am not giving it back. She asked "Oh were did you park?" I told her "Half way thought thatz news paper stand around the block."

"So" she said "I hope your vegan cause I am and I will only be on this date if you order something vegan. I have a daughter named snot who is a chicken. And I am a strict feminist I only agreed to this date because your not a human man your a Slothz which is why you told me to go out with you anyway." I said "We Slothz call vegan stuff, Klingonism."

So anyway we ordered and she spent most of the night bitching about stuff Feminists like....It all started to sound like Shah clank, clank. Then the waiter guy came with the billz.....And I said "Thatz a lot of bling stuffz you got to pay." She looked at me with this shocked look on her face and said..."I have to pay?" "Yeah" I said..."Feminists are chicks who pay for the grubz on datez, so I datez you, Slothz like free grubz."

"You sexist little.....Hey wait a minute there is no fucking vegan Chicken hamburgers on this Menu!!!!! All those chicken burgers you ate right in front of me the whole time were.....REAL CHICKEN!!!!!!! There is no Vegan Hitler Ice Cream either is there...That stuff you brought was animal based!!!!!!" At this point, I was going to say something or something but I just responded by chicken burping for a minute straight in her direction. At this point her face turned red and she was about to explode into psycho rage. When I said...."Look itz the Papatracury!" She looked around surprised and angry......"Oh my god where!" She said.

When she turned around she noticed my chair was empty and her purse was missing......"You sexist, Hitler Ice Cream, Nazi bastard get back here!!!!! And pay for this meal!!!! She screamed as she chased after me. As I made it near the door I picked this huge chicken off the platter and threw it at her face, knocking her on her fat ass as the chicken grease ran down her face and mouth she started rolling around on the floor screaming...."Snot....Snot....Snot......No!!!! I bez riding the chickenz wingz of eternity, shah clank, clank!" As she continued her epic mental breakdown, I slipped out the doorz. Because why not, what liberalz is not fucking nutz....anyway.



As I drovez off back through was left of the news paper stand, I rang up my Slothz, roadz brahz.....Roadbrahz, Amonbrahz and Fancy Slothz. As I swung around this park and picked them up..... I said "Mien bro'z its time to buyz stuff courtesy of the Matrachary" As I showed the credit cardz and cash from the lunatic fringez purse. "Awww Yeah" We all sang in return.

So we drovez to the mall and brought all kindz of stuff about Swastika's, Billy Idolz, People who like Swastika's and Billy Idolz. Till we maxed out the cardz and stuff. Fancy Slothz bought of all Elton's greatest hitz.....Cause thatz Fancy Slothz.




And thatz the Slothz talez of the Big City Datez......

 

[highpriestessmylalimlal]

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